Boundless World of Danmaku
by Terrarian Creeper
Summary: Pandora's Box has been opened once more. It's time that we sealed it...
1. Bad Time to Party

**Welcome one, and welcome ****_all_**** to my newest creation, Boundless Danmaku! After spending over a half-year out of commission (yeah, screw you school), I have returned to begin this project. Kindly note that while the name of some (read: almost all) OCs will be the same as those from some of my other fics, their personalities and appearance may and will be slightly tweaked to accommodate for the humor in this story, instead of the grim theme of their original appearances. Please enjoy, and R&R if you have the time. But enough out of me.**

**Enjoy the ride!**

**02/11/13: Updated the description and genre. It's still plenty humorous, but...**

**– TOUHOU –**

It was a cloudless, starry night in Gensokyo, a mythical world filled with fantastic creatures such as youkai, gods, vampires, and all of their relative species. In this land, there were still humans, of course, even if their numbers are small compared to the amount of youkai. To protect this utopian paradise, a certain shrine known by the locals as the Hakurei Shrine watched over the Great Hakurei Barrier, faithfully protected by countless generations of shrine maidens, aided by the ever-enigmatic Phantasm of Gensokyo. Under their watchful eye, this beauteous land has flourished over the centuries.

Did I mention almost everyone there is a loli?

But I digress. Now, in this Gensokyo was the previously mentioned Hakurei Shrine, currently under the ownership of one little miko named Reimu Hakurei. Gathered just outside her precious shrine are several Japanese foodstuffs, countless bottles and bowls of sake, and a large collection of brightly coloured hats. Oh, and the people wearing them, I suppose.

Popping out from under her comically large witch's hat, Marisa Kirisame finally came up for breath and threw aside a gourd of sake. Cheeks red, movement slow and wobbly, and her voice more than a little slurred, Marisa locked eyes with the horned girl next to her and grinned. "Wuzzat good enough for ya, ze?"

Suika Ibuki laughed uproariously, picking up her massive gourd of sake while taking care to not impale anyone on her especially large horns. Stopping to chug the inexplicably bottomless amounts of sake herself, she plopped down again and cockily said, "Good on you, Marisa; for a human, you can really hold your drink!"

"Oh, yeah?" challenged Marisa, a grin on her face. "Well, I'll bet I can drink anyone under the table!"

Suika simply flipped her gourd upside-down and quickly filled up two large sake bowls, not even bothering to keep the table – and the ground – clean and she shoved one into Marisa's chest, spilling most of it. "You're on!"

Just before they began, Marisa chuckled and said, "Man, if Reimu were up, she'd have a heart attack over this."

"But she isn't, so who cares?"

"… Point."

As the two girls began to rapidly down more sake than any mortal being should ever consume, the blue-haired vampire in a mob cap near them winced as several droplets of sake stained her otherwise-impeccable dress. Frowning at the drunken duo, she sighed and sloshed around her own glass of suspiciously red liquid. "Really, those two can truly be such an annoyance sometimes."

"Well, that's just how they are," shrugged her redheaded gate guard, a certain Hong Meiling. "It's not like we can change… that… zzz…"

Remilia Scarlet, the ever-charismatic (except when she isn't) Scarlet Devil, let her hand smack into her own face. Dragging it away, she downed the rest of her drink and called out, "Sakuya~"

In a literal instant, her loyal maid was there by her side, a full bottle in one hand and four terrifyingly sharp knives in the other. "Yes, ojou-sama?"

"Replace my drink," commanded the Scarlet Devil, though the order was unnecessary, as Sakuya had already begun topping off her glass once more. Capping the bottle, she bowed to her mistress and disappeared once more, just as Meiling rocketed up. Cursing a little too loudly in pain, she flailed about, twisting and turning in one spot as she struggled to remove the knife now firmly embedded in her skull.

"Please keep it down," requested the ghostly pink-haired lady opposite to the vampire and her gate guard. Her tone was light and whimsical, but her eyes showed a glint of malice as she held up a rice ball for Remilia to see. "How are we supposed to enjoy such good food when everyone around us is screaming?"

"_HELP!_" cried Meiling as she finally got both hands on the knife jammed in her head, and was now unsuccessfully trying to remove it. "Someone? Anyone!?"

Yuyuko Saigyouji, the Princess of Flawless Nirvana, plopped the aforementioned rice ball in her mouth. Without bothering to chew, she swallowed it whole and said to the girl next to her, "Youmu, be a dear and quiet down Meiling-san, please."

Youmu Konpaku, the half-ghost gardener of the Netherworld, nodded and got up, adjusting her hairband as she went. In one quick move, she swept over to Meiling and tore out the knife, wincing at the mulching sound it made as it went. Meiling immediately collapsed again anyways.

"Thank you~" said Yuyuko. But before she could say anything else, a ribbon-bound gap tore open next to her, and out popped a blonde in a mob cap, with a large red ribbon aborning it. "Oh, hello, Yukari."

"Helloooooo~" the gap youkai slurred with difficulty. One hand held her fan, while the other clasped not one, not two, but somehow, _three empty liquor bottles_. "Hey, hey, wanna, uh, you wanna see a trick?"

Yuyuko raised an eyebrow at the (for whatever reason) extremely drunk Yukari, but gestured for her to go on. Without hesitating, Yukari wrenched open Yuyuko's mouth, broke the bottles in half (her fan clasped between her teeth) and stuffed them down Yuyuko's throat. As expected, they did nothing to the Netherworld Princess, who simply swallowed them, the poor, innocent bottles disappearing forever into the void that was Yuyuko's stomach. "Tadaaa~ I made bottles appear!"

"Don't you mean you made bottles _disappear_?" asked Youmu. Yukari laughed at the implication.

"Of course nawt, silly. Look!" stuffing her hand into a gap, she suddenly frowned. Opening the gap wider, she pulled it closer to herself and stuffed her entire upper body into it, rummaging for something. "Oh, I know it's in here somewhere. Ran~"

"Yes, Yukari-sama?" the response floated out.

"Where's my wine~?"

"You drank it all, Yukari-sama," deadpanned Ran. "Also – no, Chen, don't touch that!"

Several loud smashing noises echoed out of the gap, along with Chen's constant apologies and a sound like a fire hose that _had_ to be Ran. Yukari pulled her head out, closing the gap just as one last "CHEEEEEEEEN~" echoed out of it. The others at the party simply stared on in shock at Yukari.

"Do I have something on my face?" asked Yukari. The others looked at each other, then at Yukari, then back at each other, then back at Yukari again to make sure that, yes, Yukari was covered in blood, and that, yes, she was somehow sober again. Yukari herself reached up to touch her face, feeling the copious amounts of blood dribbling down it. "Oh, dear. Please excuse me for a moment~"

With that, she disappeared into another gap. As it closed, several shrieks came out of it. "No, Yukari-sama, I'm sorryyyyyyyy~"

"_But I still have to punish you for that, you know~_"

"No, Yukari-shama, don't hurch Ran-shama!"

**"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN~"**

Once more, there was a noise like a fire hose turning on, the gap thankfully closing just before the deluge of moe-induced blood could rocket out and drown everyone present. Everyone continued to stare at where the gap had been just seconds previously, however. For several seconds, the only sound was the giant mountain of sake dishes ever so slowly tipping over and crashing down, burying Suika under a mountain of them. A single dish rolled by. Very, very, _very_ slowly, Youmu raised her head and said the one thing everyone else was thinking.

"What."

**– TOUHOU –**

Half an hour later, things had somewhat calmed down. Instead of the rowdy party from earlier, all the girls had settled down for a small game of Truth and Dare, joined by the girls from Eintei, who had been staying away during the whole 'get wasted and nearly level the shrine' part of the party was going on, along with a small gang of other random people, like Alice, Patchouli, Keine and the likes. All three members of the Yakumo household also joined them, Yukari looking as cheery as ever, Chen looking confused, and Ran still profusely apologizing to her master.

"So, Marisa, truth or dare?" asked Patchouli in a soft voice. On her lap was Flandre Scarlet, the somewhat unstable sister of the Scarlet Devil. However, today had been one of her better days, so she'd been let out with Patchouli at her side just in case.

"Dare," Marisa challenged immediately.

"I dare you to steal Alice-san's precious thing."

Marisa choked, her eyes bulging as she gaped at Patchouli. Next to her, Alice's reaction was exactly the same. As one, they yelled, "SHE/I DID NOT STEAL MY/HER PRECIOUS THING!"

At the same time, they stopped trying to strangle Patchouli and stared at each other. Several seconds of silence later, Marisa awkwardly asks, "Um, I… I _didn't_, right…?"

Alice blushed furiously at Marisa's antics and looked away. "O-of course not, idiot!"

Patchouli watched on with barely supressed mirth as the two somehow escalated into an argument. Eventually, Patchouli tired of watching them and said, "Look, they're even having a lover's quarrel."

This time, the Magic Team stopped again, but instead of turning to each other, they turned to Patchouli, identical looks that promised a horrible death on their faces. Patchouli paled and quickly began staggering backwards as Marisa pulled out her Mini-Hakkero, the tiny reactor expanding and opening, rainbow magic seeping from the cracks. Beside her, Alice lifted a hand; glimmering strings that faded away two feet down hanging from each finger as hundreds of dolls began to amass themselves behind her.

Patchouli, struggling to regain control of the situation, opened her tome of magic and said, "Now Marisa, Alice-san, don't do anything you'll regret –"

Suddenly breaking into a coughing fit, she cursed at herself and her ailing body. _Of all the times…_

Drawing out several spell cards, Marisa and Alice glanced at each other. Marisa asked, "Truce?"

Alice nodded. "Truce."

_"Love Sign – MASTER SPARK!"_

_"War Command – "Dolls of War!"_

Patchouli immediately turned around and tried to fly away, but it was too late. Unable to escape, she could only watch helplessly as the massive rainbow laser lanced out towards her, trailed by countless dolls, each wielding various sharp pointy objects that promised terrible pain.

"Mukyuuuuu~"

Flandre watched as a tiny glowing purple speck trailed off into the distance, closely followed by two golden specks that were firing lasers and sending out even tinier specks. She juggled her options back and forth for a moment before deciding. "Remi-chan, I wanna play damaky with them!"

Remilia paled as she realized what that could mean. On one hand, she could say yes and let Flandre decimate them, possibly fragging Patchouli and disabling her from shutting down Flandre in the process. On the other hand, she could say no and have Flandre go on a bloody rampage. The chances of that were small, but the point remained valid. She looked at her little sister, who was looking up at her with watery puppy eyes.

Remilia winced as the cuteness overtook her. She hated it when Flandre did that. "Alright, go on, Flan-chan."

"Yaaaaay~! Thank you, Remi-chan!" Flandre exclaimed as she gave her sister a quick hug before flying off into the wait. "Patchy-chan, wait for meeeeeee~"

"Ojou-sama, was that really a good idea?" asked Sakuya as she watched Flandre flit away.

Remilia watched the small explosion rear up, complete with a mushroom-cloud shape and a ring around it.

"Not in the slightest, Sakuya."

**– TOUHOU –**

"So, truth or dare?"

After the disastrous first round of Truth or Dare, the girls had decided to carry on nonetheless after finding Marisa and Alice's charred bodies, now bemoaning their pitiable state. Patchouli had chosen to take Flandre home early, as she'd been getting a little too excited over the danmaku match. And now, it rested firmly upon Fujiwara no Mokou to answer Kaguya Houraisan's question.

"… Dare."

Kaguya thought for several seconds, and felt her face light up as she devised a plan so sadistic it'd make the legendary Yuuka Kazami shed a tear of pride. Of course, that was assuming Yuuka could cry at all. Locking eyes with Mokou, the princess said, smiling all the while, "Alright, you pyromaniac, I dare you…"

"To strip naked and give someone a lap dance."

Everyone present gasped in terror, Mokou being one of them. Her face paler than her hair, she looked about frantically, for something, for _anything_ that could save her from this terrible fate. "Uh, c-can I chicken on this one?"

"Sorry, you already used them all up," said Kaguya, that same demonic smile still pasted across her face like a mask of death.

"Can I have a hand here?" asked the immortal phoenix as she desperately grabbed for what few straws were left to her. As if on cue (which it probably was), a small gap opened up above her, dropping a severed hand onto her head. Mokou glared at the gap youkai, who was innocently whistling as she fanned herself. "Oh, real funny…"

Blushing furiously, Mokou got up and dropped her clothes, then promptly closed her eyes, spun around, and sat on some random person's lap. Several _very_ awkward minutes later, Mokou opened her eyes and noticed that, of all the people she could've wound up with, it was Kaguya herself.

Their faces an identical shade of red, Kaguya seethed, "When I said give someone a lap dance, I did _not_ mean me!"

"Oh, you wanna go, you sheltered NEET?" Mokou, fully clothed once more, seized her immortal enemy by her collar with one hand, the other bursting into flames.

_SNAP!_

"I'll make you regret being _born!_" screamed Kaguya as she reached into her robe and whipped out a spell card and raised it above her head. _"Tree Ocean of Hourai!"_

"Alright, let's play that way!" Mokou's flames condensed themselves into another spell card, ignoring the bullets brushing mere inches past her face. _"Phoenix Rebirth!"_

Casting their strongest spell cards, the two ran off into the night, the unlucky Eirin banging off the ground as she struggled to hold onto Kaguya's robes, sadly crying out, "Why meeeeee~?"

**– TOUHOU –**

The party had finally ended. Remilia was preparing to return to the mansion, followed by the other residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Kaguya and Mokou both returned to collect their things, glaring daggers at each other all the while, held at bay only by an exceptionally angry Eirin and one _very_ dangerous EX-Keine. Suika climbed onto the roof of the Hakurei Shrine and settled in for the night. Yuyuko was quickly eating as many of the leftovers as possible, while Youmu pleaded with her to at least pack them up and bring them home before eating them. Marisa and Alice were helping to clean up so that Reimu didn't notice their 'secret' party.

Marisa rolled her eyes at the doll maker. "For the last time, my broom is special! We're not using it to sweep."

"It's a broom. Why not?" pointed out Alice.

"Because magic, drugs, Yukari, and/or the Moriya Shrine."

"Templates like that are forbidden."

"Damn… fine, use my broom."

Complaining silently to herself, Marisa went back to picking up the dropped sake dishes and stuffing them all in one of Yukari's gaps. "Hey, Yukari-san, where does this even go?"

"Reimu's futon. Why?" explained Yukari. Marisa suddenly froze, halfway in the gap. Her hand began to shake as she slowly withdrew it, and then turned to the Phantasm of Gensokyo, her neck creaking woodenly with the movement.

"It… goes… where!?" shouted Marisa.

"Reimu's futon," repeated Yukari. "Why?"

"Oh, _crap._" Without another word, Marisa vaulted over a surprised Yukari's head, tackling down Alice and snatching away her broom. Pointedly ignoring the girl's protests, she tied down the doll maker to the broom and then tied _that_ to her back, all in only five seconds. The broom began to power up, the puffy end glowing blue before it exploded, rocketing Marisa and Alice away. "_RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"_

Yukari scratched her head. "I wonder what her deal was."

She shrugged and went back to tossing dishes into the gap. "Eh, it's probably nothing importa–"

**_"FANTASY HEAVEN."_**

Those two words froze the great Yukari Yakumo right where she stood as she heard the sound of seven Yin-Yang orbs powering up. Breaking out in a cold sweat, she looked up, down, and all around, frantically searching for where Reimu was before she annihilated her.

_Wait, what am I doing!?_ Yukari mentally slapped herself. _I can just gap out of here!_ As the gap opened up right in front of her, she dived for it. One more inch and –

_SLAM!_

She was brought crashing to the ground, one hand wrapped around her ankle in a vice-like grip. Slowly, she turned her head to stare into the very face of Death himself.

No, not Komachi. _Death._

Her hair a mess, her ribbon lying abandoned next to her, and a suddenly terrifying-looking gohei in hand, Reimu Hakurei reared back and prepared to sentence the gap youkai to infinite torture. Helpless, Yukari watched as the terrifying visage swooped down on her, not even thinking of gapping herself to safety.

After all, against Fantasy Heaven and an angry Reimu, nothing can escape.

As the seven Yin-Yang orbs began to glow, Yukari could only think of one thing to say.

"Meep."


	2. Rise of the Nineball

Thousands of charms and amulets flew through the sky, effortlessly tearing through everything in its path; trees, buildings, donation boxes, nothing could stand between it and its target.

Yukari yelped and ducked as a solid wall of charms was sent careening over her head. She tried to open another gap, but was forced to turn away from it and run as a homing amulet smashed into it, slamming the gap shut and chasing after her.

"_Yukariiiiiiii!_" shouted Reimu as she sprinted after the gap youkai, Fantasy Heaven still active even as waves and waves of danmaku flew from her Yin-Yang orbs. "When I catch you, I'll make you beg me for death!"

"Reimu, calm down!" Yukari futilely tried to reason with the enraged miko, and got a faceful of homing amulets for it. Falling over, she tried to get up, and grunted as the tip of Reimu's gohei rammed into her chest, nearly impaling her. She looked up at the shrine maiden with tears in her eyes. "Reimu, don't…"

"You've got no one to blame but yourself," stated Reimu coldly. "Fantasy Heaven…"

Yukari shut her eyes. At least she'd leave with no regrets. Except for when she stole all of Yuyuko's spare caps. And genderbent all of Gensokyo after that. Also that one time she decided to gap the Moon onto Gensokyo and only give Reimu three days to fix it for an April Fool's joke. Then again, she also probably could've helped Chen grow up a little more. Obviously, she was also silently repenting for ever hosting that party at the Hakurei Shrine in the first place…

But like I said, no regrets.

"_Release._"

"Reimu, wait!" panicked Yukari, a brilliant idea flaring in what would be her last moments. "I can make this up to you! I swear on my life (not that it's already doomed)!"

For several seconds, there was silence. Cautiously, Yukari cracked open one eye and saw Reimu's gohei, having been stopped barely a half-inch from Yukari's face. Reimu herself had a single raised eyebrow, through the beads of sweat on her face made it obvious that she was having difficulty maintaining her strongest spell card for so long. "What is it…?"

Yukari breathed a sigh of relief. One hand reached into a gap, rummaging for something unseen. As she searched, a malicious grin appeared on Yukari's face. "I have a present I forgot to give you. I think you'll quite enjoy it."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Man, screw university," groaned a twenty-one year old man as he trudged down the dormitory hallway, his accent leaning on Scottish, but with perfect Japanese. Barely even thinking, he unlocked his door, threw the keys at a basket, kicked the door shut behind him, and collapsed onto his bed, an aspirin following him as he went. "All of the things, why did I have to go and pick that as my course…?"

Darius Loyhrs sighed as he calmed himself, if only a little bit. Dusting off his battered jeans, he took care not to trap his hand in the bottomless void of the knee-height rip in it. Casually, Darius slung off his ankle-length trench coat and threw that at the wall, the abused coat still somehow in rather good condition, if you were to ignore the collection of rips, tears, and mud stains near the bottom of it. Swapping out his jeans for a pair of black shorts, he also threw his greyish-black shirt next to his coat as well. Leaning back against his pillow, Darius closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. Certainly, being six foot four had its advantages, but it also came with a terrible curse.

Namely, his feet were sticking out over the edge of the bed.

Several minutes later, he put aside the textbook he was reading as he heard the lock click again and saw the door open. Waving a hand as he went back to his book, he casually said, "Hey, Karin."

"Hello," said his roommate as she sat down at her desk on the opposite half of the room. She frowned as she noticed the odd lack of food. "You know, it's not that hard to remember to buy food…"

"No, but this stupid homework is."

"Yeah, I s'pose you're right. I mean, when I heard we'd be learning about the matrix, well… you can guess."

"Mmm-hmm."

They studied for about an hour, before Darius got up, saying he needed to use the washroom. Karin waved him out, promising to unlock the door for him. Darius rolled his eyes at that.

Little did he know that his little washroom break was going to turn into something much more.

And it wasn't gastrointestinal problems.

On his way out, Darius saw something flit out of sight behind a corner. Like any sane person, he followed after it. Every time he rounded another corner, the figure would cross the next one. Eventually, Darius felt a sneaking suspicion that might've been his instincts telling him to run. He ignored it.

To this day, he wasn't sure if that was a good idea or a bad idea.

Finally, he cornered the figure in a darkened, unpowered section of the hallways. As he stepped towards it, he saw a glint of red light. He shrugged it off as his imagination, took one more step forward…

_Whoosh!_

… And was promptly pulled into a portal that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"What the fuuuuuuuu…"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Aha!" Yukari cried triumphantly. "Found it!" And with an almighty yank, she seized the prize she'd spent half an hour trying to secure, Reimu watching on in slight disbelief, having long since given up on butchering the damned youkai.

"Oof!"

Yukari carelessly let her arm fly past her, dragging along the human with it. Smashing into a tree with an almighty crash, the tree cracked in half, then tipped over to each side, split by the sheer force with which he had landed.

Reimu pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. "Dammit, Yukari…"

Getting up, she walked over to the unmoving human and poked him with her gohei. "Hey, kiddo, you okay?"

"Auuuu~… do you mind? I trying to die here… zzz…" the response warbled out in a slightly muffled tone. Reimu sighed and kicked him solidly in the ribs. Just like that, he rocketed up. "Ow! What was that for!?"

"Oh, you're okay," said Reimu. "So, Yukari, why'd you bring this guy he– umm, Yukari?"

Looking around, she noticed that the Phantasm of Gensokyo was nowhere to be found. Reimu rolled her eyes and turned back to the man, who had apparently passed out again, blood trickling down his forehead. Reimu raised an eyebrow. "Oh… We should… probably… fix that?"

Heaving up the significantly heavier man on her shoulders, Reimu flew off to the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, looking for Eintei. As she flew, she idly wondered; just what could Yukari be up to this time…?

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius slowly opened his eyes to see… a white ceiling. From next to him, he hears a woman's voice say, "Hey, Reimu, he's awake."

Opening his eyes a little more, he saw that the person talking was apparently clad in a doctor's cap and a dress adorned with constellations, alternating between red and blue. For whatever reason, there was a bow and quiver on her back, too…

"Excellent," another voice said. Flicking his eyes over, Darius saw two girls, one dressed in a business suit and miniskirt, the other in a heavily modified shrine maiden outfit. "How's he doing?"

A sound like rustling papers. "Mostly bruises, some scrapes, maybe a slightly damaged skull, though it isn't very significant. He'll be better within the week."

"Good to hear."

"Udonge, fetch me Vial 108. Remember, its _108_, and try not to accidentally turn this patient into a mouse."

"Yes, Eirin-sama." The business lady bowed and left.

"Um, you were kidding about the whole 'turn into mice' thing, right?" coughed out Darius, barely audible.

"… Maybe?" the doctor tried. "Have a glass of water; it'll soothe your throat."

"Thanks…" Darius said gratefully, downing the glass in one go. However, as it went down, he began to splutter and cough even more as it seared his throat.

"Hmm, patient responds negatively on initial consumption," the doctor said, scribbling down notes as she muttered under her breath. Darius looked at the miko with an expression that clearly said, _Help me._

Reimu shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, but I can't help you. Just leave it to Eirin and Reisen. Hopefully you don't turn into a mouse."

"Enough about the mice, please…"

"Fine."

Reisen returned, carrying a small vial of light blue liquid. "Here it is, Eirin-sama. Vial 108."

"This is Vial 109," deadpanned Eirin. Reisen flinched.

"W-what? But I double-checked, it's definitely–" the girl suddenly narrowed her eyes and whipped around to face the wall. "_Tewi!_"

Eirin rolled her eyes as the rabbit tore off after Tewi, who vaulted out from behind her camouflage cover and leaped out the window shouting, "But I was so close! You could've _actually_ turned him into a mouse!"

"That's why I'm trying to kill you!"

"E~rin, help!"

The doctor pointedly ignored them both and closed the window again. Turning, she tore off the fake label and handed the vial to Reimu. "Make him drink this."

"Um, what is it?" the miko asked uneasily.

"One of my shady new drugs," the doctor responded with a sadistic smile lighting up her features. Reimu paled, but nodded anyways. "Anyways, I'm off to go kill Tewi. I'll see you around, Reimu-san."

Closing the door behind her, both Reimu and Darius winced as the sound of several explosions went up from the other side of the door.

"So, what's your name?" asked Reimu.

Darius coughed and winced as he felt the back of his head protest sadly. "I should be… asking you that, no?"

Reimu chuckled at his words. "Good point. I'm Reimu Hakurei, the Wonderful Shrine Maiden of Paradise."

"Darius Loyhrs," he greeted. "Nice to meet you. I'd shake your hand, but…"

The miko nodded as she poured the contents of Vial 108 into a small glass and gave it to Darius. "Drink up."

He looked at her warily. "You're _sure_ I won't turn into a mouse, right?"

Reimu frowned and pressed the glass against his lips, tipping it immediately. Surprised, Darius reflexively drank it all down, then coughed again. "Why am I even coughing? I… I hit a tree; right?"

"Eirin-san might do strange things to her patients sometimes, though I can't fault her efficiency." Reimu smiles as she throws out the empty vial. "Don't worry, she won't kill you. Probably. Worst case scenario, you become a Yukkuri."

"What's a Yukkuri?" asked Darius.

"Living pastries. Don't worry, you'll probably turn back to normal in about a year afterwards." Reimu giggled as a funny thought came to her if Darius actually _did_ turn into a manjuu. What would his filling be?

"Yeah, real funny," muttered Darius.

"Oh, but it is~" above Darius' bed, a gap filled with glowing red eyes opened and dropped a parasol on him. Ignoring the unfortunate man's curses, one Yukari Yakumo appeared from the gap. Upside down. With her hair somehow defying gravity and still falling up.

"Yukari, what are you doing?" Reimu glared up at her, already reaching for her gohei. "You know, I'm still planning to kill you."

Yukari shrugged. "And I already said I've made it up to you."

"What are you talking about?"

Yukari gestured at the bed. "I thought about how lonely you've been getting. So, I found you a lover~"

"What!?" Reimu leapt up, amulets in hand.

Next to her, Darius was reacting similarly. "Hey, hey, I did _not_ agree to this!" Pointing a finger at Yukari, he added, "And who is this hag anyways?"

There was a sound of shattering glass, as if someone's pride had just been stepped on. Yukari slumped over in depression, complete with a small thundercloud raining up on her. Sniffling, she muttered, "Even an outsider called me a hag…"

"W-what? Did I say something wrong?" Darius began to panic, fearing retribution from the two girls next to him. Reimu rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Huh?"

"That's Yukari Yakumo. Yukari always gets like this if you call her a hag," she explained.

"But I'm only 17~" sobbed the woman in question. "Waaaah!"

"She's older than Gensokyo." Reimu giggled. "More often than not, she's either up to something or planning to ruin everyone's day."

"As in…?" Darius was curious as to what the miko meant.

"She's probably one of, if not _the_ most, powerful youkai in Gensokyo. Thankfully, she spends more time being weird than actually doing anything dangerous."

"I'm still here, you know!" wailed Yukari, rolling around in her gap. She retreated into her gap, grabbing her parasol as she went. Half a second later, the door opened, and she returned, parasol twirling idly over her shoulder and looking as if nothing had ever happened. "Hello, Reimu! How are you doing?"

"Yukari, I–" Reimu was abruptly cut off as the window opened and another Yukari climbed in. "Hello, Reimu! How are you doing?"

Reimu drew a small card from her outfit's sleeves, but before she could do anything, yet _another_ Yukari rolled out from under the bed and straightened up. "Hello, Reimu! How are you doing?"

Both Reimu and Darius whirled around and around in shock as countless Yukari clones appeared from the strangest places. One popped out of the floor with a shovel, another revealed herself from under a blushing Darius' covers, God-knows-how-many fell and walked out of gaps, even a Yukkuri Yukari hopped out of the pillows with its trademark "Take it easy!" on its lips. And through all of this, not one of the Yukaris would stop asking the same question, over and over.

"Uuu…" Reimu held her head as the Yukaris surrounded her, taking up almost the entire room. Raising her head again, she shouted to the heavens, **"HELP ME, E~RIN!"**

Eyes widening in surprise, Reimu gagged as a Yukari stuffed the Yukkuri Yukari in her mouth. The Yukari pouted and said, "Oh, don't be such a loudmouth~"

"Someone please kill me…" muttered Darius as a gap appeared over top of him and dropped a Yukari onto his lap. Darius quickly leapt out of his bed, falling onto the floor with a loud thud. "Stop that!"

"Fine…" said the last Yukari sadly, and a gap appeared under each of the other Yukaris' feet, letting them disappear with one last "Hello, Reimu! How are you?"

"What was that? Where am I? Is this real life? _What is doing on?_" Darius promptly curled into the fetal position on the floor and began rocking back and forth, muttering "Help, help, help…"

"Oops, I think I broke him," Yukari said sadly. "Reimu-chan, be a dear and wake your lover up."

"He's not my lover," groaned Reimu, but got up and kicked Darius in the ribs again anyways, struggling to recover him from his Yukari-induced stupor. "Oi, get it together, Darius-san!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Sorry about that," laughed Yukari as she sipped on a cup of tea. Having finally gotten Darius to recover, she'd gapped the three of them to the Hakurei Shrine and explained the basics of Gensokyo and its laws to Darius. Surprisingly, he'd actually taken it well – for the first ten minutes.

Then he went back into shock.

Darius slammed his head on the low table, cursing under his breath. "Reimu-san, help me…"

"Please insert one donation to continue," the shrine maiden said, then yelped as Darius flung a coin at her. Scooping it up greedily, she ran outside and fed it gently to her donation box, cooing to it gently as she did.

"Is everyone insane here?" Darius asked to no one in particular. Surprisingly, he got a response.

"Oh, more or less. I'd do something about it, but the madness is contagious and we're probably already both infected." Turning, Darius saw a woman dressed in an odd sort of coat over a white blouse, her hair starting off purple near the top, then fading to yellow as it descended. In her hands was a large wooden crate, though it was either very light, or she was very strong.

Byakuren Hijiri smiled at the confused Darius as she set down the box. "You must be the newcomer from outside. Welcome to Gensokyo, Loyhrs-san."

Darius flinched at the use of his last name. "Please, don't say that. My last name hurts… and how'd you already know I've come here? As far as I can tell, I've only been around for about twelve hours."

Byakuren opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, a white blur zipped into view, revealing itself to be a fez (?)-wearing girl with two large crow wings. "From me! Aya Shameimaru, fastest reporter the world over!"

"Well, nice to meet you, Aya-san," Darius said automatically.

"Have a newspaper!" Aya tossed several sheets of paper at him. For several seconds, the girls were treated to the sight of Darius flailing around trying to catch the newspaper without dropping it. Opening it, he read the characters that made up the title. "Bunbunmaru News, huh…?"

"Most of its trash and/or lies." Reimu finally got over her excessive… love… for her precious donation box and had joined them in their conversation.

Aya frowned. "Ayayaya~ That's not a very nice thing to say to people…"

"Except it's true."

"Byakuren, make her stop~"

"Reimu-san, don't be so mean to the little tengu."

As Reimu pouted, the others laughed and laughed, right up until one green-haired fairy flew down and crashed tiredly onto the steps. Byakuren and Reimu immediately ran over to the exhausted fairy.

"Daiyousei-san?" Byakuren said anxiously. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Eirin-san," the fairy of the lake whispered. "Cirno-chan stole one of Eirin-san's drugs and now she's _smart!_ Now she's flying around and picking fights and even beat Remilia!"

Minutes passed in silence, during which not one person moved. As Daiyousei looked between them, worried about what she'd just said, they all simultaneously began to panic and run in circles screaming. "P-please calm down…!"

Ten minutes later, they'd finally settled down. Reimu hefted her gohei and checked her store of spell cards. "Looks like this is going to turn into an incident. Someone send for Marisa and ask her to find me at the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"I'll do it!" And with that, Daiyousei turned and flew away, staggering and plummeting a few feet before she recovered and properly made her way to the Forest of Magic.

"A smart Cirno… who would've that we'd say the day?" Aya leaned on a tree and began to write madly in her notebook. "I'll catch ya guys later; I've got another article to print!"

As the crow tengu zipped off at incredible speeds, Reimu turned to Byakuren and Darius. "Want to come along? Seeing a smart Cirno is probably a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know."

"I'd probably just get in the way," frowned Darius. Byakuren smiled at him. "Cheer up, Loyhrs-san! Just stay with us and watch the danmaku. We're not asking you to jump into the fray."

"Stop calling me Loyhrs!" Darius complained.

"_Oi!_ Are you gonna come or are you gonna complain about your name?" Reimu was already floating above the steps as she prepared to fly.

"I can't fly…" Darius shuffled his feet a little. Then he blushed as a pair of hands wrapped around his waist. "Hey! Watch it!"

"Relax; you'll be flying with me." Picking him up with _far_ more ease than should have been possible, Byakuren began to fly as well.

"How are you even carrying me so easily?" Darius was utterly flabbergasted. Last he checked, he wasn't exactly a featherweight.

"She spent a long time coming up with strength-boosting spells." Reimu gestured for them to hurry up as a glacier erupted over the treeline. "Cirno's going crazy! Get a move on!"

Byakuren nodded and flew off, lugging Darius along with her.

Yukari yawned and got up, smacking her lips and scratching her cheek idly. Then, as she properly came aware, she noticed that everyone had disappeared.

"Huh?" She looked around confusedly before giving up and sinking back into her gap. "Guess they all left. Oh, well…"


	3. The Seraph of Ice

**Jeez, I'm just barfing out chapters. Please don't expect too much of this, though; school's probably going to stomp on me soon, but I'll try to write whenever I can. Anyways, +1 cookie and a cameo for anyone who can understand the meaning behind each of Cirno's new spell cards.**

**For a better idea of what Cirno looks like now, watch 'Touhou Ice Fairy Sister' on YouTube.**

**Enjoy, and please R&R!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Hahaha! Know the might of the most powerful in all of Gensokyo!" The Scarlet Devil Mansion, home to some of the most feared youkai in Gensokyo, erupted in a massive flash of ice, icicles and glaciers flying out of the windows and doors and a certain asthma-riddled librarian's quiet "Mukyuu~" echoed out from its depths. "Come out, come out, wherever you are, Flan-chan!"

Reimu, Byakuren, and Darius grinded to a halt outside the main doors. Unconscious and sealed in ice was the redhead gate guard of the mansion, Hong Meiling. Darius winced as the waves of sheer cold emanated from the mansion. "It's not pretty…"

"Indeed." Reimu stepped up to the doors and tried to pry them open. A cracking and crumbling sound came from inside the doors, making the miko frown. "They're sealed shut with ice."

"So are the windows. Even the ground…" Byakuren ran a finger along the frost-covered grass. "Cirno-san really is smart. She sealed off the mansion just by turning it into a glacier."

"It's ice," Darius said. "How hard can it be?"

Seconds later, Darius was hopping away from the door, having tried to kick it open. Byakuren giggled and Reimu facepalmed. "What is that even _made_ of!?"

"It's something called blue ice," Byakuren explained. "Ice formed over many years by the ice above it crushing it down into an extremely dense form. It's harder than rock and very hard to melt away."

Darius clapped a hand to his mouth and stifle his guffaws. Both of the girls gave him funny looks. "What's going on?"

Simple; Darius was pretty sure that blue ice was what fell out of airplanes, not unbreakable ice…

But enough potty jokes (har har) for now.

_"Taboo – Laevateinn!"_

The doors flew open, shards of opaque ice flying in every direction, several spikes of red energy trailing after them as a massive blade formed of crimson light exploded outwards. Darius ducked for cover behind the incapacitated Meiling, while Reimu effortlessly danced her way out of the shards and Byakuren simply deflected them to the side. The two readied their weapons, Reimu drawing on a set of charms and Byakuren revealing her concealed energy scroll as a childish voice came from the inky depths of the mansion. "Come back! I thought we were playing damaky!"

"Oh no…" Reimu dashed into the mansion, followed by Byakuren and Darius. They all stopped at the same time and stared in shock at the spectacle before them.

In the grand foyer of the mansion, designed as if it were a grand cathedral in a domed arch, near the ceiling, an ice-blue sword and a blood-red sword crashed into each other with tremendous force, sending out shockwaves that reverberated through the walls and floor. A short-haired blonde figure wearing a red dress slammed down to earth, her impact leaving a crater as a blue-haired, six-winged girl crashed into the wall, shattering it as she fell. Both combatants quickly recovered in under a second and flew back into the fray, trailing danmaku bullets as they went.

Cirno grinned as her icicle sword clashed once more with the much larger Laevateinn, easily matching Flandre's strength with only one hand gripping her sword. As her now much longer hair whipped about around her in a frenzy, and her extended and extremely intricate wings glimmered with energy, she spoke. "Sorry, Flan-chan, but brute force only gets you so far against me!"

With a burst of strength, she sent Flandre reeling as she procured a spell card and held it over her head, declaring its name as she went. _"Pluto Sign – Charon's Journey!"_

Immediately, several rings of ice danmaku surrounded in such a dense pattern it looked as if Cirno were encased in ice, with a smaller orb of danmaku orbiting her. The small orb began to bounce and spin around the room, spirals of icicles flying every which way as it went. Cirno herself remained stationary, throwing out ring pulses of icicles and leaving her orbital 'moon' to do the work for her.

"Ooh, shiny! Let's play together!" Flandre giggled as the ice moon bounced off the wall and rebounded straight for her. Her eyes suddenly sharpened and glowed red, her fangs and claws extending as she flew straight on a collision course with the danmaku, raising Laevateinn over her head and slamming it down with enough force to crack a real moon in half. Both halves slid past her, grinding away to nothingness on the floor as she lashed out once more with the sword, a wave of danmaku firing from its blade and crashing into Cirno's planetary formation.

Once, twice, three times they repeated until Cirno's spell card broke and she slammed down to the floor again. Gritting her teeth as she straightened, she raised her own sword and smacked Flandre with the flat of it as if she were a baseball player. Trailing immediately after her, Cirno generated a small-scale iceberg of her head and flung it and Flandre, shattering the construct on the small vampire's chest with such force that she crashed through two walls before recovering. As Flandre began to fly back towards her, Cirno drew another spell card.

_"Ninth Ring of Hell – The Depths of Cocytus!"_

A colossal blizzard immediately blew across the battlefield, staggering Flandre and coating every nearby surface with a thick layer of slippery ice. As Flandre staggered through the storm while using Laevateinn to defend herself from the worst of the storm, several rings of icicles flew around her and Cirno, forming a large box that prevented Flandre or Cirno from escaping. As icicles twice as large as Cirno began to fly wildly in the box, Cirno flew forward to intercept Flandre.

_"Taboo – Four of a Kind!"_

Flandre disappeared for the briefest moment, then reappeared behind Cirno, joined by three flawless clones. The only thing discerning the true Flandre from the rest was the hexagram symbol behind her as all four began to shoot several different types of danmaku, each Flandre following its own pattern independent of the others as they circled the fairy.

"It doesn't matter how many patterns you throw at me simultaneously!" crowed Cirno as she effortlessly weaved in and out of the bullets, intentionally brushing less than an inch from many of them. She crashed into a fake Flandre, impaling it on her sword and dispersing it in a flash of red light. "No matter what kind of tricks you use, the Seraph of Ice will always see her way through!"

Six wings expanding once more, Cirno's wings exploded, icicle danmaku flying wildly and bouncing about in her own personal Cocytus as a new set of even larger angelic wings revealed themselves. She flew through the blizzard, clotheslining the last two Flandre clones with her wings and smacking the true Flandre down to earth once more, but with the 'floor' of her Cocytus spell card still in play, the vampire girl was smacked up and down the room by the icicles as Cirno continually flew into what seemed like pointless places, only to hack at Flandre as the danmaku juggled her directly towards the fairy.

Finally, the spell card timed out, and Flandre fell down, her hair a mess and clothes torn and mangled. She struggled to get up and draw a spell card, barely even strong enough to declare it.

_"Q.E.D. – Ripples of 495 Years…"_

Staggering to her feet, Flandre's numerous injuries began to repair themselves, red light seeping out and regenerating the damage down even as she flew to the attack once more. As she reached Cirno, her fist drew back, scarlet energy coalescing around it. In a single explosive blow, she sent Cirno through four walls and flew after her, all the while giving off countless rings of rebounding danmaku.

The Seraph of Ice caught Flandre's next punch as she flew in for the kill, her blue eyes glimmering with a plan that would not, _could_ not, go wrong. Twisting down the hand, she broke Flandre's wrist in one move, immediately breaking one of Flandre's strongest spell cards and flipped her into the air. Easily lining it up, Cirno generated a massive icicle in one hand and threw it like a javelin, catching Flandre on the end of it while barely losing any momentum, and carried her all the way to the main gates outside. As the sun beat down on her, Flandre could fight no longer with it sapping away what little strength she had left. A sound like shattering glass signified Cirno's success.

"Whew!" Cirno wiped a bit of sweat off her forehead, the droplets turning to ice even as they flew through the air to clink quietly against the floor. "I must say, Flan-chan, you fought real well. Too bad I really _am _the strongest now."

"The strongest or the smartest?" Reimu stepped out from behind the small glacier she'd been hiding behind.

"Both, Hakurei-san." Cirno didn't even turn around as she walked past Reimu, her hair blowing softly as she walked. "With my intelligence, nothing can defeat me, no matter what. This isn't cockiness like it used to be, either; its fact. Oh, and I know you're there, Loyhrs-san. You too, Hijiri-san."

She pointed a finger at a nearby ice pillar, the tip of it producing small bits of frost. "Don't make me blast you, now."

Slowly, Darius and Byakuren stepped out. "How'd you know?"

"You're asking this of someone with an IQ of 900." Cirno rolled her eyes. "Please, I knew you were there the moment you stepped in. My manipulation of ice is, at its core, manipulation of atomic movement; I can _feel_ your every move, your every breath, your every heartbeat. If I so wanted, I could completely stop your every last atom in your body, turning you to a statue at absolute zero, or I could cause your atoms to move so violently, they tear themselves apart and rip you to shreds."

She revealed her eyes properly, a glint of madness behind them. "Hee hee… do you know what it feels like? To be capable of feeling every last movement on the breeze? To feel every twitch, every step, every _thought_ of every_one_? It makes you feel like the smartest girl in the world – though, I do suppose it's true here…"

"Then I assume you know what we're here for." Byakuren stepped forward, a vajra in hand as her scroll opened itself behind her, casting spells automatically.

"Of course I do." Cirno tossed around an icicle idly. "You're here to defeat me because I've gone on a rampage after trying one of Eirin-san's shady new drugs." She grinned at them. "Well, I've got news for you; I've only been scratching the surface of my powers and my intelligence. I'll give you a choice; walk away now and live out life normally, or _try_ to turn me into a nineball again and be glaciated for all of eternity."

"Impossible," Reimu scoffed. "The spell card rules prevent you from–"

"The spell card rules prevent me from _killing_." Cirno's face lit up with an odd mixture of glee and madness. "However, the rules state nothing about being encased in ice forever."

"The rules –"

"Oh, be quiet, Hakurei-san." Cirno frowned at her, flapping her six wings in discontent. "You know you can't possibly win an argument with me."

A throne made of ice erupted from the floor right behind Cirno, who reclined on it in a stance of pure superiority. "Now, I offer you my choice again; leave and live, or fight and enjoy eternal freezer burn."

"You already know our answer." Darius slipped a hand into his pocket.

"Indeed." Cirno nodded and jabbed her ice sword into the ground, sending out a fresh wave of ice. "However, I'm still offering you this choice; think about it." She gestured at Flandre, who was still ailing under the relentless sun. "I truly don't want you to suffer the same fate as her."

"We're not changing our answer, Cirno-san." Byakuren raised her vajra, the tip of it bursting into a blade of gold energy. "Right, Loyhrs-san?"

For once, Darius ignored the use of his last name. His hidden hand clenching around the concealed revolver in his pocket, he nodded.

The Seraph of Ice sighed. "Of course you wouldn't. I just wanted to see if Loyhrs-san's will truly was as strong as I'd hoped.

"Brace yourself, all three of you. I will not hold back this time. I will use everything in my power to bring you down. I will crush you underfoot and see to it that Gensokyo no longer sees me as a… _nineball._" She shuddered briefly at the memories of herself. "But no matter. Oh, and by the way, I recommend you all duck right about now."

"Wha–?" As Byakuren and Reimu immediately hit the ground, Darius made the mistake of deciding to turn around to see why he needed to duck…

And promptly got smashed across the face with a broomstick.

As Darius flew the length of the room, Marisa Kirisame touched down, Mini-Hakkero in hand as she immediately shouted, _"Love Sign – Master Spark!"_

Cirno barely shifted, lazily raising one hand and forming a mirror of ice, bouncing the beam of energy away and blasting the nearby wall into ruins. She shook her head sadly. "Kirisame-san, you should realize; while your Master Spark is powerful, all it takes is a simple deflecting to send it away harmlessly."

"Oh, stuff it, baka!" Marisa said as she threw the Mini-Hakkero into the air. As she prepared to catch it, a beam of ice blasted it away from her and freezing it to the wall, encased in blue ice.

A vein was pulsing in Cirno's temple as she smiled sadistically at the witch, resting her hand on the hilt of her sword. "Do _not_ call me a baka, you insufferable stealer of precious things."

"Oh yeah?" Marisa promptly got on her broom and floated in front of Cirno and pretended to sleep, chanting, "Baka, baka! Baka, baka! Baka, baka! Baka, baka!"

_"Atomic Sign – Negative Spark."_

A sky-blue laser of energy twice as large as Marisa's regular Master Spark blasted into her, sending her careening into a wall.

Cirno lowered her sword, the tip of it sparking and frosting menacingly as she stabbed it into the ground once more. "Would you like another Negative Spark, or will you quiet down now?"

"Auu~ I think I'll die for about five minutes… be back with you guys in a sec, ze…" With a light snoring sound, Marisa promptly fell asleep, complete with a small nose bubble.

"Forget her for now." Cirno pointed her sword at Reimu. "You wanted a spell card duel? You'll _get_ your spell card duel."

"The standard rules?" Reimu began to fly upwards as a set of Yin-Yang orbs began to orbit her.

"Five spell cards each." Cirno grinned as she got up too, her throne dissolving as a cold wind began to blow around the room. "First to lose all her spells, be rendered incapable of continuing, or forfeit the match loses.

"You know you can't possibly win this." The temperature in the room dropped several degrees as Cirno's wings began to glow. "I can read any move you make effortlessly."

Reimu smiled. "It doesn't matter how smart you are; there will always be a limit."

"A limit I have already reached." Cirno's hair began to catch in the wind, blowing about her face, though her eyes remained as ominous as ever. Small snowflakes began to fall from around her. "Prepare yourself for a crushing defeat, Reimu."

"I should be saying the same thing to you." Reimu drew a spell card.

"Byakuren, we'd better hide," whispered Darius.

"You're right, Loyhrs-san." As they turned to step outside, a colossal block of blue ice slammed down in front of them, sealing off the door once more.

Cirno lowered her hand, the palm still glowing with energy. "Now, now, don't try to run; it'll only end badly. You'll be staying _here_."

"You realize innocents cannot be caught up in spell card duels, right?" Reimu hefted her gohei menacingly.

Cirno laughed. "You don't pose a threat to me, Hakurei-san. Stop acting like you do."

"Wanna put your money where your mouth is?" Reimu declared her spell card. _"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal: Blink!"_

Cirno watched casually as the danmaku flew towards her. Then, just as they were about to impact her, she calmly declared, _"Underworld Sign – Overflow of the River Styx."_

A massive deluge of ice danmaku roared past her, easily overpowering Reimu's spell card and sending her reeling. "Hakurei-san, you just lost one of your spell cards. Then again, so did I, but nonetheless."

The cold breeze flowing around them quickly erupted into a massive tornado that swept up ice from the ground, icicles flying about in a frenzy as they surrounded Cirno. From within the eye of the storm, Reimu clearly heard Cirno call out, "Now what will you do, little miko?

_"Hell Sign – Great Storm of Cocytus."_


	4. Or a Fairy of Cocytus?

**This chapter will mark the end of the introduction and the Nineball Arc. Enjoy, and R&R!**

**No, really, please R&R.**

**Also, to my first reviewer: Thanks :D Also, I'm sorry about the others. I just didn't quite like the way they turned out, but I'll certainly be trying to bring them back!**

**– TOUHOU –**

_"Hell Sign – Great Storm of Cocytus."_

Cirno's cold voice echoed throughout the cathedral-esque chambers as the tornado expanded into a hurricane, easily ripping up debris and converting it into gigantic icicles. Reimu was instantly caught by the winds and thrown into the storm. Battered from all sides by danmaku, Reimu was only barely able to avoid taking a full-on direct hit. Cirno remained in the eye of the storm, eyes shut tight as she focused to keep the freezing hurricane stable as it whirled around her.

_This is too easy_, thought Reimu as she leapt off of an icicle that had threatened to punch through her. _There must be a trap to keep me from coming close to her… but where is it?_

Shooting her amulets at the fairy, Reimu watched as a pillar of ice erupted from the ground, grinding her amulets to dust against the ceiling.

As expected of the new Seraph of Ice…

Reimu twisted in mid-air to avoid being impaled by a mass collection of formerly discarded icicles that Cirno had found abandoned around the arena. Throwing herself headlong into the ground, Reimu planted her feet firmly on the icy surface, struggling to not get thrown into the wind again.

She blinked for the briefest of moments to get the snow out of her eyes, but as she opened them again, she saw two Cirnos, one still focused on keeping the hurricane active, the other having been formed from super-compressed ice. The fake Cirno raised a jagged sword above her head and brought it down as Reimu rolled out of the way. The sword shattered, releasing more ice danmaku as the fake Cirno reached into the vortex and simply plucked another one out of the air as it flew by. She grinned as she leveled it at the shrine maiden. "You didn't _really_ think that was all there was to my spell card, did you?"

"So I was right." Reimu leaned back as the sword slashed overhead in a decapitating blow. Dropping down, she kicked out the clone's feet from under it and shot a storm of charms into its face. A flash of light, and Reimu found herself swept back into the storm, the clone having self-destructed, using its own death to blast Reimu back into the air, where she would be at the full mercy of the real Cirno.

The ice fairy opened her eyes slightly, smiling as she watched Reimu get tossed around easily by her storm. Then she frowned as she watched Reimu blast away the surrounding danmaku with a well-placed barrier and shouted.

_"Great Barrier – Hakurei Danmaku Barrier!"_

Four inverted barriers erupted from Reimu as she let loose with a storm of charms, moving out, then in as they traveled through the inversion barrier, then out again as they passed through yet another barrier. Cirno growled and poured more energy into making false Cirnos, all the while waiting for the right moment to activate her icy pillars.

_Now!_ Cirno flicked a hand and nine pillars shot down from above her, shielding her from the worst of Reimu's spell card. Even so, many charms made it through, hammering Cirno's defenses as she struggled to keep the hurricane under control. With a wild hand gesture, she sent out five false Cirnos to assault the miko.

Reimu watched as her spell card timed out and cursed under her breath. Seriously, how long did Cirno's spell last!? She ducked back down to ground as several icicles flew past, then flung herself sideways as a group of Cirnos tried to impale her simultaneously. Reimu panicked, and, unable to think of anything else to do, simply dodged, ducked, dipped, dived, and dodged her way to safety as the Cirnos made the most of their weaponry to try and bring down Reimu.

Finally, the Great Storm of Cocytus timed out, and the hurricane dissipated, along with the Cirno about to stab Reimu, though the blizzard still refused to leave. Cirno fell to the ground, panting heavily. Perhaps that spell _was_ a little bit overkill, at least on her.

Nonplussed, she rose to her feet and heard Reimu shout, "Byakuren~ help!"

Immediately recognizing the intent in Reimu's voice, Byakuren nodded and flew up, both drawing identical spell cards and declaring at the same time.

_"Main Two Religions' Nine-Syllable Self-Defense!"_

Byakuren frowned at Reimu just before she shot off to combat Cirno. "Next time, can we make a shorter name?"

"Whatever. Just get Cirno!" Reimu focused on sending out streams of danmaku to harass Cirno and impede her movement as Byakuren moved in for close combat.

Cirno drew her trusty ice sword as Byakuren neared, vajra glowing in hand. The two swords clashed, sending off sparks as they grinded at each other. Byakuren let herself be pushed back, using the momentum to snap out a leg for a powerful flip kick and caught Cirno's chin and knocked her into the air, where she was promptly bombarded with amulets and charms before Reimu leapt over Byakuren to drop kick Cirno back down with such force that she bounced back into the air. The Great Sealed Magician seized her opportunity and roundhouse kicked Cirno into the wall, collapsing it.

Cirno stood up shakily, one hand on the wall, another pressed to her side. Standing straight once more, she revealed a spell card and declared it.

_"Mathemagician – __**THE VALUE OF PI!**__"_

Countless numbers formed of danmaku began to circle Cirno, starting with the infamous '3.141' and branching along into an extremely long string of numbers that ended with a '9', fittingly enough. Cirno flung her hands out, and the numbers blasted out, each number trailing its own portion of Pi, which also branched out and repeated as Cirno drew her sword and rushed forward. Byakuren, caught off-guard by the Pi trying furiously to end her, suddenly looked up to see Cirno directly in front of her. The fairy's face a mask of cold fury, her sword swung down and around, crushing Byakuren's hasty guard and breaking her joint spell card with Reimu, while at the same time tossing Byakuren to the far end of the chamber.

"Sorry, Reimu," panted Byakuren as her scroll powered down. "Looks like I'm out for now."

Reimu nodded as she weaved around the Pi, Cirno walking slowly towards her at a leisurely pace. "Crap, she actually figured out Pi, and then turned it into a _spell card_…" The miko narrowed her eyes as the Seraph of Ice came ever closer. "We really need to stop her, before she discovers the meaning of life."

Cursing, Reimu brought her gohei up just in time to deflect Cirno's crushing sword strike. As the Pi began to gather around her again and regenerate the missing numbers, Cirno said coolly from the heart of it all, "The meaning of life, the universe, and everything is 42. Look in Pi, you'll see it."

"What." Darius glanced out from behind one of the few blue ice pillars that remained, and yelped as a string of Pi broke against the impenetrable ice.

"Pi is effectively an infinite string of numbers; its end not something any mind could comprehend," explained Cirno as the Pi parted to reveal her holding a small, denser ball of Pi. "And because Pi is both infinite and never self-repeating, that means that every last morsel of information that ever was and ever will be is concealed within its endless code."

"What." Darius repeated himself. "Cirno, how – no, _why_ do you know so much!?"

"Blame Eirin and her shady drugs mostly for making me understand Pi." Cirno said as she sent out both sets of Pi. "Then blame Pi for making me this smart. Oh, and the author, too."

"Please don't break the fourth wall~" a gap opened next to Cirno, revealing a dusty Yukari with a small hammer in hand. "It takes so long to repair… Plus, using actual spell cards would be nice."

"Geh, fine." Cirno slammed the gap shut and dash at Reimu, drawing her sword once more. Swinging it, the sword splintered Reimu's gohei, sending the two halves skittering across the ice-coated floor. Taking advantage of Reimu's shock, Cirno unleashed a third stream of Pi directly into Reimu's chest at point-blank range, sending her flying.

The Value of Pi timed out, the string fading away to nothingness, hiding its endless secrets once more. Cirno smirked at Reimu, who was struggling to get up again. "Do you concede defeat, Hakurei-san?"

"Never…" Reimu seized a nearby ice boulder, ignoring the freezing pain as she forced herself to her feet, using part of her broken gohei as a crutch. Revealing yet another spell card, she yelled out its name.

_"Dimensional Sign – The Great Hakurei Barrier!"_

The power of the Great Hakurei Barrier temporarily fueling her, Reimu dashed forward at speeds that would've made Aya jealous, slamming two feet into Cirno's chest and blasting her across the room, chasing after her furiously, homing amulets flying out and bouncing off walls in her wake, hundreds of charms flying from her hands as the Great Hakurei Barrier's might manifested itself.

"Know this!" Reimu brought a knee slamming into Cirno's stomach, knocking the wind out of her before she could recover. "That no matter how strong you are…"

She swept around her foot in a powerful Ascension Kick, batting Cirno into the air. "No matter how smart you are…"

Leaping after the Seraph of Ice, the miko brought a colossal wall of solid energy slamming down on Cirno, crushing her nine feet deep into the earth. "You will never defeat the might of Gensokyo itself!"

As the Great Hakurei Barrier's power began to bleed out, Reimu poured every last drop of it into a single massive Yin-Yang orb of pure energy, then brought crashing down on Cirno. **"FALL!"**

Reimu's ace-in-the-hole canceled out, the shrine maiden dropping to one knee as the pain of her injuries came back. "How did that feel, you damn nineball…?"

"Not too good, really." Cirno stepped out of the crater she'd made on impact, dusting herself off casually. "Nice combo, though; if I hadn't deathbombed at the last second, you would've gotten me." A spell card disintegrated in her hand. "Guess that's one left for each of us."

"Damn you, Cirno…!" Reimu slowly got back up and began to slowly march forward, speeding up with every step. Cirno grinned and stepped forward as well, matching Reimu's pace as they began to full-on sprint across the entirety of the colossal hallway.

Reimu began to use every last bit of energy she possibly could to make her last stand possible. A pair of massive white wings formed from energy erupted from her back, shedding danmaku feathers as she began to speed up even more.

Cirno grinned at the sight. Energizing herself, she forced out all of her power, her wings expanding to form a true set of seraph wings. The two combatants rushed at each other at incredible speeds, a spell card declaration on both their lips.

**_"Forbidden Hakurei! A Maiden's Capriccio!"_**

**_"Escape from Pluto! The Hades' Last Stand!"_**

Reimu's wings exploded in a massive storm of light and danmaku, countless amulets flying manically everywhere. And for every amulet that formed, a tiny iceberg formed as well, blasted out by the sheer force of Cirno's passage. Calculated with pinpoint precision, each iceberg formed clashed with the amulets, destroying both, but sending out a stream of shattered icicles.

_"You will fall!"_ Reimu leapt into the air and brought down her foot in a supercharged drop kick from the heavens themselves, danmaku flying everywhere in her wake.

_"I shall cut you down!"_ Cirno jumped up, fist glowing with blue energy with all the force of an avenging angel, danmaku erupting from her wings.

**"CIRNOOOOOO!"**

**"HAKUREEEIIIIIIII!"**

The two unstoppable forces met.

A colossal shockwave emanated as the miko and the fairy clashed, blowing out every single icy window in the mansion and sending the roof flying. Underneath them, the floor exploded outwards from the sheer force. Pillars were torn from their supports; ice and danmaku alike were blown away by the sheer force and the door was blasted off its hinges, the blue ice unable to shield it from such an amount of power. Byakuren was standing in the midst of it all, shielding herself and Darius with a barrier.

Reimu and Cirno glared into each other's eyes, Reimu's drop kick having been halted by Cirno's uppercut. The two pressed against each other, another blast of energy ringing out. Byakuren flinched as she struggled to maintain the barrier.

Suddenly, Cirno's hand cracks from under the intense pressure, ripped lines tearing gashes in her arm. Blood flies and immediately dissipates in the colossal war of power. Reimu's leg sears with pain, an almost identical set of rips appearing on her leg as she fights to win the war of power. All the while, both their wings glow with energy, sending out streams of light countless feet behind them both, danmaku flying in every direction as they try to batter down their opponent.

Then, something snaps.

For the briefest of moments, there is only a look of shock on her face. As the shockwave overtakes her, she realizes that, after all, she simply could not have possibly won this fight. She gladly accepts this, knowing that her adversary would still fall, even if it were not by her hand.

"Damn it all…"

Reimu crashed back against the wall, flying through it and five more walls before screeching to a halt, arms and legs splayed out as she smashed to a halt. Cirno drops both her arms exhaustedly, watching the blood leak out of her injuries even as they repaired themselves under the influence of her immense power. "I guess… I win… Hakurei-san."

"No way…" Reimu was only barely able to lift her head, a trickle of blood closing one of her eyes. Hanging on the edges of consciousness, Reimu shakily lifted one hand, a single amulet clutched in it.

Cirno pressed one foot into the miko's chest, making her cry out in pain. The fairy's eyes were cold and emotionless as she carefully pointed the tip of her sword onto Reimu's forehead. As frost began to form on its edge, Cirno stated, "Hakurei-san, I gave you a choice, and you turned it down. I'm sorry for this.

_"Negative Sign – Eternal Cold of the Void."_

**"NO!"**

A single glowing purple bullet, fired at incredible speed, smashed across Cirno's temple, shattering her spell card just as it began. Cirno's sword clattered to the ground, shattering as it did. The Seraph of Ice reeled, looking at her attacker. "Loyhrs-san…"

Darius lowered his revolver shakily, the muzzle still steaming. Having seen Reimu on the verge of defeat, he'd acted instinctively, his body moving on its own and feeding his power into the gun, forcing it into the form of danmaku and launching it at the ice fairy. "I… I just…"

"_You!_" Cirno swept forward, but quickly felt a homing amulet slam into her back, throwing her to the ground once again. Reimu let herself fall back down, panting as she fought to remain awake. Eyes glowing with anger, Cirno whipped out a hand as a spire of ice jutted from her palm, shattering itself to reveal a perfect sword of ice. Raising it above her head, she prepared to bring it down on Reimu's neck. But just as she did, a golden sword lashed out and collided with her sword, saving Reimu from being incarcerated in ice.

"That's enough, Cirno." Byakuren gripped her vajra tightly as she held the fairy at bay. "You've made your point."

"I will _prove_ to the world what I really am!" Cirno screamed as she pushed down Byakuren even further. One foot stepping back to give her better leverage, the Great Sealed Magician pushed back, holding them even once more. "I will seal Reimu in ice and prove my power!

_"Negative Sign – Eternal Cold of the Void!"_

Cirno called her spell card yet again, pushing Byakuren away and slashing at her in a massive arc with her sword. As it ground to a halt once more against the blade of the vajra, a shockwave of ice erupted from the point of contact, jutting out from behind Byakuren, who flinched as a piece of ice flew through the air and cut her cheek, letting down a small dribble of blood.

As the two fought for control, Darius had silently snuck over to Reimu's side to help her to her feet. "Any you okay, Reimu-san?"

"Of course not." Reimu breathed heavily as she pressed a spell card into Darius' chest. Supporting herself by leaning on a wall, she continued. "But I'll be fine. Go, while Cirno's distracted. Use the spell card and seal her."

Darius stared at her in shock. "S-seal her?"

"You heard me." Reimu closed her eyes and grimaced. "It'll lock away most of her powers; now go! Hijiri-san can only hold her back for so long."

Darius turned to see that Reimu was right. Slowly, Byakuren was being pushed back, with Cirno still grinding her sword down trying to get through her. Darius nodded, and slowly began to walk into the storm of danmaku.

Ducking under an icicle, he ran up from behind Cirno. Just as he began to declare the spell card, Cirno forced Byakuren away with a surge of power and whipped around in a full one-eighty, sword carving a swath through the air as it sought to bisect Darius. Nimbly rolling under it, he came up from behind the ice fairy and kicked her legs out from under her. As she fell, Darius began to declare the spell card.

_"Divine Arts – Omnidirectional Dragon-Slaying Circle!"_

A wave of energy swept out from the spell card gripped in his hand as Darius fought to keep from being blown away from the sheer force of the spell card. Countless waves of danmaku exploded forth from the hexagram that inscribed itself behind him, slamming into Cirno in alternating barrages. Byakuren fell out of the firestorm, frost fluttering from her dress. As the spell card timed out, Cirno was somehow still standing, her six wings having been closed around her to shield her from the danmaku. As her wings swept out, Cirno called her most powerful spell card.

_"End Sign – Absolute Zero at the End of the World!"_

Another vortex formed around the Seraph of Ice, countless ice pillars flying about in random places as countless small tornados formed of ice danmaku raged around them. Icicles flew about in the snowstorm, bouncing to and fro as they smashed into each other, reflecting endlessly in the mad spell card. There was no true thought behind Cirno's final spell card; only pure power as she pushed herself to the absolute edge to make this spell possible.

Fueled by adrenaline, Darius rushed into the storm, sliding under, jumping over, and spinning around every bullet in his way. As he ran, a spell card materialized in his hand, glowing with a shining white light as he threw it to the air and activated it.

_"Darkness Sign – Endless Absence of Light!"_

Drawing his gun once more, he leapt into the air, ignoring the icicles Cirno threw out as they nicked his skin, drawing blood in countless tiny cuts and scratches. Slamming Cirno to the ground one last time, Darius pointed the revolver into her face at point-blank range and unleashed a miasma of dark energy.

An explosion of ice and shadow erupted, flooding through the Scarlet Devil Mansion as a pillar of energy shot up into the sky, visible for miles around.


	5. Manipulation of What, Now?

**Lo and behold, the end chapter of the Nineball Arc, and a bit of a breather chapter. We'll be getting back to our regularly scheduled Boundless Danmaku now.**

**Enjoy, and please, ****_please_**** R&R...**

**Oh God, I'm turning into a Review beggar... help...**

**EDIT: This chapter was slightly revised to accommodate for my interpretation of spell cards. Sorry if you had to check back to see this...**

**– TOUHOU –**

The Scarlet Devil Mansion was in ruins. The wall surrounding its perimeter looked as if it had been lifted up, torn to shreds, and tossed aside carelessly, the bricks that it was made of having been easily ripped away from each other. The majestic wrought-iron gates at the front of the wall had warped and twisted under the extreme pressure exerted on it during the gate guard's running battle with an invading ice fairy. Littered throughout the garden of the noble mansion were thousands of ice chunks that glittered under the sun as they stubbornly refused to melt. As for the mansion itself…

The vast doors at the entrance to the Scarlet Devil Mansion had been blasted off their hinges, lying uselessly on the snow-covered ground. Several shattered wooden beams hung sadly from the ceiling, creaking as they shifted in the breeze. Embedded in countless surfaces were alternating waves of knives, scorch marks, and icicles. The roof of the massive foyer had been torn away from the rest of the mansion, instead now remaining broken on what little remained of the mansion's clock tower, having been tipped over during a duel between the Scarlet Devil and the Seraph of Ice.

Deeper inside the cavernous foyer, the sun still shined from where the ceiling once was, revealing what seemed to be a warzone. Extremely thick coats of ice and slush had been splattered wildly across the walls. Over a dozen icicle swords had been snapped in half and tossed around the room recklessly. Hundreds and hundreds of discarded charms and amulets lay scattered about, many buried under the ice. Every last pillar that formerly supported the ceiling had been sliced apart, many of which were still encased in blue ice and jutting out of the ground at hazardous angles. A light snow was still present in the room, the present ice fairy's mere aura giving off the first hints of winter as snowflakes fluttered down.

One red figure was barely standing, a hand gripping a nearby pillar as she struggled to remain upright, her hair a mess, her clothes mangled beyond all repair. Nearby, a purple-yellow-haired monk leaned heavily on the 'hilt' of her sword, the vajra still giving off the same blade of light as it hummed in her hands. Standing before them both, a fairy and a human stared at each other.

Cirno, the Seraph of Ice, smiled slightly. A small leak of blood trickled from her mouth, but she paid it no mind. "Well played, Loyhrs-san… it seems I forgot… to add you into… my calculations."

"Haha." Darius Loyhrs let himself fall backwards, held up by the miniature iceberg behind him. His revolver hissed in his hands, the muzzle glowing red hot as it slowly cooled down. The hammer locked back into place, and he watched half-amusedly as six puddles of slag fell from the chamber. "Thanks… Cirno-san."

The Fairy of Cocytus fell to her knees, her hands coming out to protect her face from the ground. Raising her head just enough to reveal one sky-blue eye, she shook her head ruefully. "Light manipulation… I never thought it could be used… in such a way…"

Darius let himself down to the ground slowly, his back to the iceberg behind him. "Light manipulation?"

"In a manner of speaking." Cirno watched as a single snowflake fluttered down before her. She took a moment to marvel at its beauty before continuing. "It's closer to manipulation of yin-yang… but I doubt you'll achieve that level in your life."

"Go figure." Darius looked up at Cirno, who was now simply lying flat on the ground. "So, guess we won?"

"I can let it slide," said Cirno. "Sure, you win, Loyhrs-san."

A quiet sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the foyer as Cirno admitted defeat. Darius closed his eyes, nodded, and finally gave in to his body's protests and collapsed…

**– TOUHOU –**

"Sheesh, barely one day and you're already back. I don't know whether I should smack you or congratulate you."

"Please give it a rest, Eirin-san," groaned Darius as he smacked his head back against his pillow. "How's Cirno-san doing?"

"Quite well." Eirin put aside the set of reading glasses she'd gotten from Kourindou and put away her notes. "Considering she fought the entire Scarlet Devil Mansion and then Reimu on top of that, it's a wonder she's even still alive – not that it makes too much difference."

"What do you mean?"

"Cirno's a fairy – or at least, she used to be. When fairies die, they reform about an hour later in perfect condition. In a way, they're immortal. Now, though, I don't even know what Cirno is. I guess, for lack of a better word, we could call her a seraph, especially since I can't turn her back to normal."

"Ha. Fitting."

"That reminds me, you need Pill 42. Open up. And before you ask, no, Darius-san, it will _not_ turn you into a mouse."

"Fine."

Several minutes later, Eirin left, though her pill bottle remained on the table beside Darius' bed. Tewi snuck into the room, swapped out the bottle for another identical bottle, gave Darius a wink, and hopped away, snickering as she went.

_Note to self_, thought Darius as he stared up at the ceiling. _Trust none of the rabbits at Eintei._

"Um, Loyhrs-san?" Darius frowned at the purple-haired girl who had entered the room. He revised his previous statement; Reisen was probably safe to be around.

"Again, just call me Darius. Anyways, what is it?"

"Eirin-sama needs these pills for Cirno. Have you already taken one?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, alright. Thanks, Loy – Darius-san." With that Reisen left the room. Just as the door clicked shut, Darius panicked as he remembered that Tewi had stolen that actual pill set.

As if on cue, there was an explosion from the next room, and an enraged moon rabbit's screams echoed through all of Eintei. **"TEEEEWWIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**

**– TOUHOU –**

"So, welcome to your new room, Darius-san!" Byakuren gestured out to the small but cozy room.

A week had passed since the 'Nineball Seraph Incident' and life had seemingly settled down, insofar as much as it could settle down in a place like Gensokyo. Cirno had apparently taken to simply living quietly at the Misty Lake with Daiyousei and Rumia by her side, having promised to not use her powers the way she did again. She had actually complied surprisingly quickly.

Then again, the Fantasy Heaven spell in Reimu's grip probably did something about that.

Nonetheless, Eirin had later released Darius, having deemed him to be as healthy as possible. However, the Hakurei Shrine simply couldn't accommodate for more than one person at a time. It probably had something to do with the shrine being isolated on the top of a mountain. With at least a thousand steps leading up to it. It was also infested with youkai that scared off and/or ate most everyone that tried to get to the shrine.

It would likely explain why Reimu was always so strapped for cash…

One way or another, Reimu had let Darius stay exactly one night, at which point she promptly kicked him out, claiming they'd both starve before the month ended had he stayed. Considering the condition of the shrine, Darius decided not to argue the point, and instead headed to the Myouren Temple when Byakuren came to visit again.

Which explained what he was doing there now.

Darius noted the monk finally used his first name (_finally_) as he stepped past her. He gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Byakuren-san."

"No problem. If there's anything, let me know." With that, the Great Sealed Magician left the room, closing the door quietly behind her as she went.

Darius soaked up the small room as he looked around it. A single futon dominated one corner, while a desk and chair stood opposite it. Next to the desk was an empty wardrobe with a mirror mounted on the wall next to it. A small night table sat quietly in the last corner, a potted plant on it as it soaked up the sun shining in through the window above the futon. Flopping down onto his futon, he was irresistibly reminded of his old dorm, the way the room was laid out. He wondered how Karin was doing.

"Quite well, actually. She's in the Human Village, if you want to go there." A gap opened in front of the door, and Yukari walked out, closing the gap and her parasol as she went. Leaning the parasol on the door, she gapped up a comfy-looking velvet chair and sat down in front of Darius. "How are you doing, Dari-chan?"

Darius' eye twitched at Yukari's inexplicable nickname for him. For a moment, he weighed which was more important; killing Yukari where she stood, or figuring out what the hell she meant by Karin being in the Village. He eventually opted for asking the latter.

Yukari drew her fan and masked her smile behind it. "Ufufufu~ exactly what it sounds like! I like gapping people into Gensokyo in my spare time, and since you were already in here, I decided sending in Karin would be a good idea. After all, what good is a story without a love triangle~?"

"L-l-love trian– Yukari, _I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!_" Darius threw himself at the gap youkai, who simply fell through the ground and popped out from the ceiling, laughing. "How long has Karin even been here?"

"About three days. Why?"

"Guess I'm going to the Human Village now." Darius snatched his revolver off the nightstand and put it away in his coat, getting ready to leave.

Just as his hand began to turn the knob, he heard Yukari say from behind him, "Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"What are you going on about now, you gap hag?"

"Don't even try this time." Finally turning around, Darius saw that all traces of humour were gone from Yukari's face. She was dead serious about this. "You realize that you'll have to spend at least two days on foot to get there and back. You don't even know how to properly use danmaku! The feral youkai in the forest will pick your bones clean long before you reach the village."

"So teach me danmaku then." Darius' challenge was promptly laughed off by the Phantasm of Gensokyo.

"Silly human, I don't have time for such things." As Yukari began to sink upwards back into her gap, her voice echoed out of it one last time. "However, if you ask Byakuren-san very nicely…"

Even as the gap finished sealing itself up, Darius was sprinting down the hallways of the temple, looking for the monk that ran it. "Byakuren-san! Byakuren-san!"

The Great Sealed Magician looked up in shock as Darius ground to a halt next to her outside her own room, panting heavily. "Darius-san, what's wrong?"

She gasped and blushed as two vice-like clamps bit into her shoulders. "D-Darius-san?"

Without saying another word, Darius opened the door to Byakuren's room and locked it behind him, plopping the monk down on the lone futon in the room. Byakuren began to emit steam from her ears. "If you dare take me, I'll… I'll…"

She found herself at an inexplicable loss for words as Darius turned slightly, a manic look in his eyes. Then suddenly, she found the man on one knee, and blushed again. "Uuu~ Darius-san, what in the world are you doing? S-stop it!"

"Please teach me danmaku, Byakuren-san." The Great Sealed Magician blinked. Darius continued to keep his eyes on the floor.

"E-eh?" Slowly, Byakuren recovered from her sudden shock. "But that… you just… I…"

_SMACK!_

"Ow! What was that for!?" Darius rubbed the top of his head gingerly, nursing the large bump on it.

"For making me think you were going to… do… with – wait, you weren't planning to – oh… my bad…" Byakuren promptly turned around and sat down, facing the corner and sweating profusely, dropping her vajra as she did so. _Oh no, now he'll think I'm some sort of perverted freak! What do I do!?_

"Byakuren-san, are you alright? I'm just here to learn danmaku."

"Er, r-right!" Byakuren spun back around, vajra in hand once more. "And I shall teach you danmaku! Come with me to the backyard of the temple."

As Byakuren walked off a _little_ too quickly, Darius muttered to himself, "What's her deal?" and trudged after her.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Now, the first thing you must know about danmaku is that it's non-lethal. It may sting, bite, or burn, but danmaku will _never_ kill." Byakuren tossed her vajra from hand to hand as she explained danmaku to her newest student.

Darius raised his hand. "Um, what about fairies and that phoenix girl?"

Byakuren promptly pulled a chalkboard from seemingly nowhere and began to scribble wildly across it, chalk dust flying everywhere. Putting down the chalk, she rapped a wooden stick on the board as she launcher into her explanation.

"Fairies are a special case. Fairies are very fragile and often get killed with just one bullet, but they always come back to life an hour or so later, so there's no need to apply the non-lethal law to them." Here, she pointed at a childish drawing of Cirno getting Master Sparked and turning into a skull, which turned back into Cirno afterwards. "As for Mokou, she's empowered by a phoenix, so she immediately regenerates whenever she would normally be 'killed'." She pointed to a cartoonish sketch of a pants-wearing girl with fiery wings turning to a pile of dust (or was it ash?) and then jumping back out if the dust.

"I don't really get it, but alright then."

Byakuren shrugged and continued on. "Now, most danmaku fights abide by a set of universal rules; the first is that all sides must agree to the rules before beginning. Also, the spell card rules do not apply outside of spell card duels, so assassination is still a danger. Spell card rules are also always enforced when a Hakurei miko enters battle.

"Most spell card duels involve a total of ten spell cards, with five being used by each side. Melee combat is also allowed between and during spell card activations, though it still cannot be lethal. There are two basic types of spell card; bomb-type and true-type. A bomb spell card is a one-time activation without a timer. It activates instantly and can usually destroy any type of danmaku it comes into contact with. They usually last a couple seconds. There's also augmentation bomb-types, which provide temporary buffs for the duration of combat.

"A true spell card usually requires a hexagram inscription to cast. The size of the hexagram signifies the amount of time the spell card can be active before timing out, or how much energy the caster has left to work with during the spell card's effect. Are you following so far?" Nod. "Okay.

"A true spell card breaks when it either times out on its own or the opponent breaks the caster's concentration. Also, all spell cards and powers cannot be simply used to cheat into victory. For instance, Yukari can't just drop a giant machine on someone and declare victory. The mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion can't tell fate that she won and win the match. All powers are instead manifested in the form of danmaku patterns."

She stopped for a moment to take a breath. "I believe your power was of light?"

"Not exactly." Darius frowned as he tried to remember Cirno's words. "Cirno-san said that my power was manipulation yin-yang, but she also said that I probably wouldn't become strong enough to manipulate balance; just the basic light and darkness."

"Sounds a little like Yukari-san's border manipulation." Byakuren hummed thoughtfully as she mulled it over. "Well, I guess for now we'll just focus on your basic light and shadow danmaku, then."

"Um, I don't know how to fire danmaku…" Darius muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Byakuren giggled and smiled at him. "You don't remember how you did it last time?"

"I was just going with what felt right at the time." A shade of embarrassed pink began to appear on his cheeks.

Byakuren laughed outright, much to Darius' indignation. "Hey! Stop laughing at me!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Alright, Darius-san. Ready?" A nod. Byakuren, having calmed down, decided to simply jump right into training Darius in the fine art of bullet hell. "Okay, this is what you need to do; first, concentrate your mind."

Darius closed his eyes, thinking of trying to fire out the same bullet he'd used to disable Cirno's spell card. Once more, he felt a tiny amount of energy leave him, flowing instead into the revolver gripped in his two hands. Byakuren nodded in approval as she watched the muzzle glow with energy. "Good work. Next, mutter your spell into the gun tenderly."

The monk watched as Darius began to mouth something silently. As he did, his revolver began to glow even more violently, pulses of shadows and light running up and down its surface. "Quickly! Aim at the dummy!" Darius' eyes snapped open as he whirled, bringing down the gun in a blurred arc and black and white.

"Now unleash your annihilation of love!" whooped another voice. Darius fired, a black danmaku bullet three feet wide bursting forth from the revolver as it shook in his hands, threatening to knock him over with the recoil. The straw dummy they were using for the testing was blasted into the air, little bits of straw and wood raining from the sky.

"See? I told you my universal danmaku guide works, ze!" Byakuren sighed as she heard the rambunctious witch touch down behind her, already feeling the starts of a headache. "Marisa…"

"And look how it turned out!" Marisa slapped Darius on the back and gestured towards what little remained of the dummy. "Good on you, da ze~!"

"Marisa," Byakuren sighed, "Put back my scrolls."

"What are you talking about? Ahahaha~" It was at that moment a mouse decided to scamper out from under her hat, causing a small avalanche of scrolls coming from a single hat that shouldn't have been able to hold even one scroll.

"Thank you, Nazrin-san." The small mouse youkai popped out from behind a tree. "You're welcome, Hijiri-san!"

She blinked and noticed the funny man next to the owner of the temple while ignoring the broken Marisa, who was sobbing and lamenting the loss of her precious 'borrowed' scrolls as Byakuren picked them back up. "Byakuren-san, who's that?"

"Nazrin-san, don't be rude. That's Darius-san; he'll be staying with us."

"Hello, Nazrin-san. Nice to meet you."

"Hiiii~!"

"Urk!" Darius grimaced and looked away. Damned cuteness levels were off the scales… one day, he was going to catch diabetes here.


	6. Lunchbox-For-Brains

**Another update! Happy Nineball Day, people!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Alright, I'm heading out now, Byakuren-san!" Darius waved to the owner of the Myouren Temple as he walked off to the Human Village.

"Take care, Darius-san!" The monk waved back cheerily, then turned and went back into the temple, humming a tune to herself as she went.

Darius checked the bag at his side to ensure he had everything he needed. A week's worth of food, a water canteen, a basic guide on Master Sparks (by Marisa Kirisame) and a simplified how-to manual on danmaku (also by Marisa Kirisame), his revolver, and a Yukkuri Byakuren the Great Sealed Magician insisted he take with him. When he asked why, she just smiled mysteriously. "You'll see," she giggled before wandering off to do who-knows-what.

"Crazy, every last one of us…" Darius trudged down the path that would take him to the Human Village for an hour. Eventually, he got caught up simply admiring the nature around him, something he'd long ignored in the Outside World. Unfortunately, he also found himself wandering off the beaten path, and past a sign that had been mostly grown over by plants. A breeze blew by, revealing the sign.

_Forest of Magic_

_Very high youkai population – please turn back!_

**– TOUHOU –**

"Aw, a doll!" Darius jogged over to it, picking it up and examining it. It had amazing lifelike quality and texture, looking for all the world as if it were simply a sleepy dwarf. "I wonder who would throw away something of such high quality…"

Just then, he saw the doll flail about. It flew into the air, its face having contorted into an angry expression as it somehow pulled out a lance three times larger than itself and flew at Darius. He ducked the jab and backpedaled away, drawing his gun as he went. "Whoa! What!?"

"You seem to be lost." Stepping out into the small clearing, the speaker revealed herself to be a short-haired, blonde girl in a blue dress. Tucked under one arm was a thick book bound with a leather strap. Flanking her was a small battalion of dolls. "What business do you have here?"

Darius answered automatically as he glanced over her body. Not in that way, mind you. No, he was checking for the faint scars that signified regeneration, and the inhuman aura that represented all youkai…

Oh, _balls_.

"I'm going to the Human Village. If you'll excuse me…"

"You are over a mile away from the path to the Human Village," Alice said curtly. "I'm afraid I can't bring myself to believe you." With a flick of her hand, five dolls began to orbit her, some drawing swords, others revealing axes and spears as they glared down at Darius. "What are you _really_ here for?"

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," groaned Darius as he unslung his revolver.

Alice flung out a hand, sending her swarm of dolls to the attack. _"Blue Sign – Benevolent French Dolls!"_

A wave of danmaku spread out from her dolls, but rebounded away just before they reached Darius, changing colours as they did so. Again, they changed colour and direction, growing in numbers. Eyes widening, Darius blasted out a bolt of black energy, clearing a small path through the danmaku. Running forward, he flipped over the bullets as another set of danmaku flew forth from the dolls. Lining up the shot carefully, he aimed for Alice and pulled the trigger.

An extremely fast white bullet zipped across the clearing like a thunderbolt, blasting Alice into the air. Using this to her advantage, Alice continued her use of the French Doll spell, casting down a wave of danmaku onto the earth from her lofty perch.

"Okay, really!?" Darius rolled behind a tree as a bullet brushed past his leg. Sadly, he'd never quite learned how to fly; it seemed to be the one thing he just couldn't do. He rifled through his spell cards, looking for the one that could break Alice's spell. "Aha!"

Leaping out from behind cover, he blasted another series of danmaku out of the way as he declared his spell card.

_"Neutron Sign – Light of a Reborn Star!"_

The revolver's supposedly useless six chambers expanded and locked outwards, each forming into an individual barrel, effectively turning the pistol into a shotgun. Each one fired simultaneously, combining into a single massive orb of energy. Cancelling her own spell by force, Alice grabbed a doll from seemingly nowhere and flung it at the amalgamation of danmaku. The doll exploded on impact, shattering the false sun as it did. However, an extremely dense cluster of danmaku revealed itself to be hidden within the outer shell, the 'sun' having branched out into an intricate pattern of danmaku on impact.

"Clever use of spell cards…" Alice commented to herself as she realized the design of the danmaku was to box her in as the neutron star contained at the core of Darius' spell began to fly towards her, rebounding danmaku trailing from it as it did.

_"Curse – Execution of Shanghai Dolls!"_

Alice summoned forth a single Shanghai Doll, which promptly fired out a burst of danmaku along with its own laser beam to combat the neutron star Darius had summoned. The two forces clashed, Alice's experience in danmaku ultimately winning over and striking Darius, sending him careening into a tree. He got back on his feet quickly, much to Alice's surprise. "How'd you endure my Shanghai Laser so easily?"

Darius frowned at the charred Yukkuri Byakuren in his hands. He'd probably need to feed it later, but he put it away, wincing at the thought of what the real Byakuren would do to him when she found out what had happened to the precious little manjuu.

"Of course…" Alice fluttered to the ground, calling off her dolls as she did. "So, you're from the Myouren Temple?"

Darius nodded.

"My apologies then," said Alice. "I am Alice Margatroid. I've heard of you, Loyhrs-san."

"My last name, it burns~" Alice blinked as the man writhed on the floor in agony. She made a mental note to remember that psychological warfare tends to do more damage than danmaku…

**– TOUHOU –**

"I'm sorry about earlier, Darius-san. I thought you might be one of Marisa's accomplices…"

"Oh, no problem at all. Just so long as you don't use my surname again... It actually hurts." Darius chuckled at himself as he tasted the tea Alice had made. It was actually exceptionally good.

Apparently, Alice was on good terms with Byakuren, having both followed a similar path. The monk had also sent the puppeteer a letter previously telling her to keep on the lookout for the human with a Yukkuri Byakuren. Really, Alice sometimes wondered if something had happened to Byakuren while she was sealed away to make her so… _weird_.

Though, one way or another, it all explained why Darius and Alice were now sitting in the latter's home, drinking tea and making small talk. While surrounded by dolls. Who wouldn't… stop… _staring_.

Alice probably should've remembered that note on psychological warfare and the 'creepiness' potential of her dolls. In hindsight, she really ought to have put two and two together and done something about it.

"So, you're one of Marisa-san's friends?" Darius put down his mostly-empty teacup and refilled it.

"I wouldn't say friends _per se_, though I suppose it's close enough of a word. Really, we only ever did the Imperishable Night incident together, though I suppose we also–" Alice cleared her throat and looked away, blushing.

"Alice-san~ what did you do with Marisa~"

"It's not like that! Gah! Why does everyone think we're t-t-together!?" Alice threw her hands up in frustration, accidentally summoning a doll to blast down her door, revealing a very surprised Marisa standing awkwardly in the doorframe, her broom and a basket of mushrooms in hand. "Oh, M-Marisa! I didn't see you there…"

"No problem, ze!" Marisa sauntered right on in, completely ignoring the fact that had she opened the door a second earlier, she'd probably need to pick up some important bodily pieces off the ground. "Anyways, I found a new set of mushrooms. Watch this, da ze~"

To Darius' shock, she promptly plucked a particularly bright red mushroom from the basket and threw it in her mouth, chewing on it happily. Her mouth still full, Marisa said "An' 'ive ich a shec, and…"

A spout of fire flew from her mouth, reminiscent of a certain drunken loli oni as the gout of flame shot out over seven feet, torching a dozen dolls and Alice's polished cabinets. Several plates clattered to the floor, shattering as they did.

"Whoops, my bad, ze." Marisa downed a blue mushroom to cool off the effects of the previous mushroom she'd eaten and saw the damage. "I should probably work on the dosage."

"Gee, ya think?" Darius said sarcastically. Just then, the two of them felt a presence that radiated pure killing intent slowly rising behind them.

_"Marisssssaaaaaaaaa…"_ Alice slammed a foot down on her table, the other on her chair as she tore off the binding strap on her book, the mysterious tome raising itself into the air and glowing as a wind whipped its pages about wildly. "_What did I tell you about using those mushrooms in my house~?"_

The witch took a step back, her basket of precious mushrooms falling to the ground. "T-that they're dangerous… and I should experiment in my own house and not someone else's, da ze?"

"_So I have no reason to not kill you, don't I, if you went ahead and wrecked my dolls anyway._" Far, _far_ more dolls than should have been physically possible to hide in one house began to crawl out from their hiding spaces, each one armed to the teeth with instruments of death.

"Darius, please help me," Marisa squeaked.

A sound of creaking wood answered her. The black-white magician turned and picked up the note on the floor where Darius had been mere seconds ago.

_Dear Marisa and Alice,_

_I'm sorry, but I remembered I still have to go to the Human Village. Also, I need to go back to the Myouren Temple before sundown, and if I dally about too long, then I might get eaten~ so I've left while you weren't looking. You're on your own now, Marisa. Sorry! Please don't steal my precious thing._

_From,_

_Darius Loyhrs_

_PS: Sorry if I caused you any trouble._

_PPS: I still know what you two did the other night~_

"That stupid little – when I get my hands on him, I'm gonna–"

"Whatever you plan to do to Darius-san will be nothing compared to what's about to happen to you. After all, _I haven't forgiven you_~" A sound of metal rasping against metal. Marisa felt hundreds of pointy objects poking her in the back of her head. As the spell card and book in Alice's hands powered up, Marisa's face fell and she flatly uttered exactly eight words.

"My Lord, forgive me, for I have sinned."

_"Blessing of Makai – The Grimoire of Alice."_

Then the forest exploded.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Whew, just barely escaped." Darius wiped the sweat off his brow as he came to a stop outside the Human Village. Behind him, he could still hear the faint screams of Marisa and Alice's howls of bloody murder. As he prepared to walk in, however, a silver-haired woman wearing a bento for a hat stepped out.

"Sheesh, what's all this noise?" Keine Kamishirasawa scratched her head as she watched a colossal doll taller than all of the Human Village's buildings rampaging through the forest chasing after Marisa, who was apologizing endlessly as she fled in terror. "Oh, it's just those two girls again." She looked at Darius, who was looking at her strangely. "Who are you? I've never seen you around here before."

"Your hat… I think it's, um…" Darius was at a loss for words.

"Please, no laughing at Bento-chan." Keine smiled and offered a hand. "I'm Keine Kamishirasawa. It's nice to meet you."

"Oh! Er – I'm Darius Loyhrs. The pleasure is mine, Kamishikaranara... Kamikekasenko… Kamishersanoweko… um… help."

Keine laughed. "I realize my last name is a mouthful to say. Just Keine will do."

"In that case, the pleasure is mine, Keine-san," Darius said, visibly relieved.

"So, are you the new outsider with power of light and shadow?"

Darius rolled his eyes. "Aya's newspaper?"

"I read it every once in a while when I'm done grading." The half-youkai looked distinctly embarrassed. "Here's a copy."

"You have got to be kidding me. Since when did I become 'The Looming Spectre of Balance'? Okay, that Nineball Incident part's true, but how'd she even get there in the first place? I thought Cirno-san would've noticed her…" Sighing in defeat, he handed back the paper. "One way or another, do you run a school in the Village, Keine-san? You said something about grading papers."

"I do, actually. Come, I'll show you." As she began to walk away, she noticed he wasn't following. "Is something the matter, Loyhrs-san?"

"Ow, please – no more surnames…" Darius begged from the heavens under his breath. Then again, if anyone was listening, it was probably that damnable gap youkai. "Anyways, I'm here to see Karin Muyoka."

Keine raised an eyebrow. A faint menacing feeling began to emanate from her. "How'd you know Karin-san's here?"

Darius caught the look in her eyes and he backed away, hands up. "Keine-san, please don't. Yukari told me that Karin's here, and I've known her for years from the Outside World."

"Oh. Well, alright." Keine gave him an odd look. "Also, please try not to attract attention in the village; the natives don't quite trust outsiders; they see them as bad omens."

"Superstitious lot, aren't they?"

"Well, actually, they're very good people, but they can be… overprotective at times."

"You mean paranoid."

"… Yes."

"Ah."

As they walked through the village, Darius attracted quite a bit of attention, if only his clothes were so outlandish (seriously? A coat and jeans count as outlandish compared to people like Yukari and Reimu?). Thankfully, the humans kept their distance, though he easily heard them talking about him as he walked past. Whispering, he said to Keine, "Are they always like this?"

"Sadly, yes." Keine sighed. "They're a very xenophobic bunch. At the very least, the newer generations seem to be more open to youkai and their kind."

"That's the problem?"

"Indeed. Even though youkai have long since stopped eating humans thanks to the Hakurei clan, they still think youkai are devious backstabbers, waiting for a chance to break the treaty and feast on the village."

"So, in other words, it's youkai racism."

"Not how I would put it, but yes."

"And how would you put it?"

"Youkai discrimination."

"Tsk. Touché."

"One way or another, it seems we're here. Oh, any by the way – hmm? There's a note nailed to the door."

"What? Let me see…" Plucking it off the nail hammered into the wood, Darius skimmed over the note silently before handing it to Keine to read.

_If anyone's looking for me (hi Darius), I've gone to Kourindou to talk to Rinnosuke about a new shipment (read: gap-ment) of outside electronics. I'll be back by sundown. If you need to see me, go to Kourindou! That means you, Loyhrs._

_-Karin_

_PS: The ambient magic in Gensokyo gave me a really cool power! Come to Kourindou and I'll show you. What is it? Well, I can't tell you, or I can't make a surprise out of it, silly~_

"That girl," fumed Keine. "She knows Kourindou is at the outskirts of the village and youkai live around it, but does she listen? No~ she just wanders off on her own and doesn't even care that there's a bunch of hungry youkai just waiting for a snack to come along! When I see her, she's getting a world-class headbutt… Right, Darius-san? Um, hello? Darius~"

The man had slammed his head as hard as possible against the wall, crying softly. "It's even worse when my name gets written down…"

Keine stared at the crater in the wall as Darius continued to mourn his last name. It might've been the first time she wondered what kind of physics were applying to this man that allowed him to do that, but it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Then again, with a certain gap youkai floating around (to whom the laws of reality were more of a suggestion), you never knew for certain.

"Darn it, Yukari," Keine muttered.

**– TOUHOU –**

**Infinity cookies for anyone who can figure out the first ****_major_**** arc in this story.  
Hint: 8-Up from below, 15-Over sentence structure.**

**Also, Yukkuris will play an important role later on. There's another reason behind Darius carrying around a tiny Youchrist...**


	7. Take it Easy, Please!

"Whee! Flying's fun, Kourin-chan! Come on, try it~" A girl with semi-wavy blonde hair reaching down to her waist gestured to the owner of Kourindou as she floated upside-down outside his shop. Thankfully, her purple blouse and skirt and the ankle-length dark yellow dress over both of them were also kindly ignoring gravity, preventing any potential nosebleeds that may lead to a horrible death.

"Karin, I keep telling you," sighed the blue-clad man as he watched her flutter about from a chair on the ground. "Even if I'm a half-youkai, doesn't mean I have any special powers."

"You just never tried~" Karin Muyoka fell up to Rinnosuke Morichika, offering her arm. "Now, hold on tight, Kourin-chan. It wouldn't do well to have you falling into space."

"This is a terrible ideAAUUUUGH!" Rinnosuke's protests were abruptly cut off as the girl seized his wrist and used her powers, not quite flying so much as falling into the sky. Again, upside-down. Completely ignoring all laws of gravity.

Then again, we really shouldn't let ourselves be held back by common sense.

"Karin, you lunatic!" Rinnosuke's hand began to grow sweaty, slowly slipping from Karin's grip. Just then, she dropped him up to outer space. _"Kaaaaaaariiiiiiiiiiiin_…!"

"Whoops, my bad. Guess I should fix that." Holding a hand up to the panicking shopkeeper, she concentrated. Just then, his movement suddenly stopped. For the briefest of instants, he looked around, soaking up the view as he admired the natural beauty of Gensokyo. As a small smile formed on his lips, he murmured, "Maybe flying isn't such a bad idea…"

Then gravity decided to reassert itself.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Karin? Karin Muyoka?" Darius looked on in shock. Yukari hadn't been lying after all. "Is that really you?"

"Hey, Dari-chan!" The girl waved energetically. "I heard you came here from outside from Yukari." She held out her arms in what seemed to be an offer for a hug. Not sure what to do, Darius let himself into her arms…

… And immediately regretted everything he'd done in his entire life.

"Do you have any idea how hectic it's been outside!?" Karin demanded as she locked her arms even tighter around Darius' chest, threatening to shatter every last one of his ribs in a lethal bear hug if he didn't think of a way out, _fast_. "Everyone's turning the university upside-down looking for you, and then two days later they act like nothing ever happened! It's like you were just… _erased!_"

Unable to think of anything else, Darius panicked and stuffed his gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. Just as he did, time seemed to slow down, just long enough for him to mentally write a Last Will and Testament. Also reserve his seat of eternal torture in Makai.

_Phut!_

Karin was knocked off of Darius, giving him a chance to catch his breath and check if any bones were broken. Deciding none were broken, he gently turned over Karin. Silently cursing himself, he felt at her wrist and neck for a pulse. Nothing.

Well, shit.

"Yukari is going to gut me…" Darius looked around, trying to find something that could save both their skins. Eintei? No, it was too far away. The Village? No, the youkai would eat them both. Whatever's in the shop? No, it only sold electronics and trinkets. Every time he came up with an option, he gunned it down again. In his terror, he didn't even register Karin stirring in his hands, drawing something from the linings of her dress.

A certain, card-shaped something.

_"Graviton Sign – Polaris Crush!"_

Darius was promptly sent flying into a tree, cracking it as he slammed into it. He thought sourly to himself, _Two things. One, that's the second time in a month I've been tossed into a tree. Two, _how the hell is she still alive_!?_

"Ufufufu~ why, the spell card rules, of course~" Darius didn't even need to look up to know who it was.

"Dammit, Yukari."

"Now, don't go mouthing off to me like that." She pouted sadly. "If you _actually_ killed her, then I'd have to make you into another Sukima Eye~"

Darius thought about what she could've possibly meant. Sukima meant gap, eye was… eye; so was she talking about those _eyes in her fucking gaps!?_

"All those people used to be alive!?" He sprang upright, scrabbling for purchase as he backed himself into another tree as he sought to distance himself from the seemingly terrifying woman before him. "Every last one of those eyes?"

"Yup."

"Yukarin~ don't break Dari-chan! That's my job!"

Was it Darius' imagination, or did Yukari wince at his friend's words? "Oh, fine…"

As the youkai of boundaries retreated, Karin frowned at Darius. "Really, you tried to shoot me? With what you know perfectly well to be a normally _lethal weapon?_"

"… I plead the Fifth."

"The Fifth won't save you now!" crowed Karin as she plunged a hand into the inside of her dress. As she raised it over her head, a cold wind began to blow over them both. Darius raised his gun warily again in one hand and drew a spell card with the other. A ring of energy began to form behind Karin, a six-pointed hexagram inscribing itself as her powers began to activate. "Since we both know I don't have to worry about deaths, I'm not going to hold back!

_"Black Hole of Eternity – The Last Man STANDI–"_

_SPLAT!_

Then she got squished by a meteor known as Rinnosuke.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Karin, I thought I told you no danmaku on the premises. Even the wild youkai adhere to it."

"Only because Yukari drops by every other day… I wonder what you two get up to when no one's looking~?"

_"…So much as _think_ that again and I will eviscerate you."_

"Ah! M-my deepest apologies, Rinnosuke-sama! Please forgive me~"

Darius watched on in disbelief as his friend of four years prostrated herself at the shopkeeper's feet. "You're terrible, Kourin-san."

"Thank you." A brief spell of silence as the two sipped their tea, broken only by Yukari's stifled giggles and Karin's continued near-worship. "Would you like to know how this came to be?"

"So long as it's not something life-scarring."

"Oh, it'll only scar you for eternity. Anyways, I'd decided it'd be a good idea to let Yukari bait me into a drinking contest, then got me so smashed I wouldn't notice when she swapped out with Suika after secretly running me through about twenty borders of illusion, or so she says. Well, after I was nearly comatose, she swapped back in, gapped away Suika and told me we should play strip poker." He winced. "Needless to say, she wound up only removing her parasol, whereas I barely wear three articles of clothing. One border of sanity and madness later, I start jumping around my shop butt-naked and barfing playing cards everywhere just as Karin walks in. You can probably guess her reaction."

"Sorry, were you saying something?" Darius looked oddly cheery as he contemplated how easy it would be to off himself with a danmaku revolver. "I can't hear you over the sound of my rational brain telling me to commit seppuku before it gets worse."

"Ahaha… sorry, act like I never said anything…"

"Plus, I have it on recording~" Yukari waved out a Camcorder, cackling all the while as she threw up a barrier to stop the enraged Rinnosuke from tearing her open and feeding the gap youkai her own liver.

… It's happened before. Granted, she regenerated within the hour and wandered off genderbending while casting a lust spell to get revenge on Rinnosuke. It went about as well as you'd expect, what with several thousand lolis-turned-bishonens and (mostly) innocent shopkeeper-turned-loli.

It ended terribly, with one forever-scarred/molested Rinnosuke and countless girls acting as if it were to be a thing between them, though whether it was or wasn't depends on who you ask…

Hence the reason Eirin found herself drowned under a tidal wave of horribly mangled patients who'd tried their hand at stalking the store owner. Also why Rinnosuke himself had moved his shop so far from the center of the village.

No, you do not want to ever enrage the seemingly harmless Morichika, as the literal skeletons in his closet can attest to. From six feet under, that is.

Rinnosuke sat back down, muttering sourly from under his breath. "I'll get you back, Yukari. Someday…"

"Well, I wish you good luck with that~" Yukari and Karin blinked and looked at each other. "Did we just…"

"Say the same thing?" They stared at each other. At the same time, they both yelled, "Caved by an EX-Hakutaku! Yukkuri Yuuka! Rinnosuke in nothing but a loincloth! Stage 6 Lunatic is a cakewalk! Ehhhh!? EASY MODO!?"

"How lame!"

"Only kids play in easy mode!"

"KYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh God, there's two of them now…" Rinnosuke dropped his face into his hands, shaking softly. Darius patted him on the back, a sympathetic look on his face. "Lord, preserve us all…"

"Amen."

"Don't let Byakuren-san catch you saying that, or she might kick you out."

Darius looked at him. "How'd you know?"

"You have a Yukkuri Byakuren still in your bag, Darius."

"Take it easy, please!"

"I will never understand her obsession over living pastries."

"It's in her nature to take care of them, seeing as they're living things and all. But…" Rinnosuke glared at Darius as he spotted the charred spots on the manjuu. "Darius, _did you use this Yukkuri to deflect danmaku?_"

"Um, maybe?" Darius tried as he scooted several inches away.

"You might want to hide." Rinnosuke looked around edgily. "She's practically got a mental link with her Yukkuri. If you hide in a closet, maybe she can't find you and you won't die..."

"Silly Kourin-san, I won't kill him. Maybe punish him just a _tiny_ bit, but not kill~"

At that moment, Darius visibly paled as an ice-cold hand clamped down on his shoulder and a purple-yellow lock of hair drifted into his peripheral vision. He began to sweat. "Byakuren-san, it's not what you think…"

"Actually, it's _exactly_ what I think it is." A single-pronged vajra flared to life. "Enjoy~"

That was when Darius noticed that everyone present had backed away hastily; Karin was peeking out from behind a cabinet, Rinnosuke remained huddled under a chair, and Yukari was nowhere to be found.

"Before I go comatose, can I ask a question, Byakuren-san?"

"Go right ahead, _Da-ri-chan._" The emphasis on every syllable made it clear he only had seconds to spare.

"How'd you get here so quickly?"

"I don't think you want to know~ _Saintly Demon – Sealed Visage of Makai._"

**– TOUHOU –**

It was another peaceful day in the Human Village. Regardless of its standing in the midst of a vast expanse of youkai lands, it was carefully guarded and watched over for many generations, by even more protectors. The sun shone down gently on the sloped roofs of the buildings in the village as the various men and women wandered about, chatting idly as they shopped. Even if a youkai did enter the village, they would almost never dare to attack in broad daylight.

Just then, the rather spotty Kourindou erupted in a massive pillar of light, danmaku, and unbridled rage.

The villagers paid it no heed. Such things happened on a weekly basis at least, after all.

**– TOUHOU –**

"At this rate, I'm thinking I should just shove a Hourai Elixir down your throat and send you off. It'd be more efficient than any other medicine I could find."

"…"

"Of course, considering your position, I'll probably have to use one just to keep you from turning into a vegetable."

"…"

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm talking to myself."

"…"

"Oh, right. I guess I am."

"…"

"How is he?"

"Doing well. He'll probably be up again in the hour. Blame the spell card rules for keeping him alive in the first place."

"…"

"I'd rather not~ after all; it's what lets us settle our little disputes so easily."

"That reminds me; I thought you weren't the kind to throw around danmaku like this."

"Well…"

"Out of all the people at your temple, I expected you to be the _last_ to break the rules."

"Can I blame Yukari? It's always easier to blame Yukari first, after all~"

"Only if you don't know who the actual culprit is…"

"…"

"Darn."

"Quite. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few other patients to deal with as well. Today has actually quite a busy day. Really, you'd think those two would learn to kill each other _without_ burning down half the forest every time."

A shuffling sound and the quiet creaking noise of wood as someone walked over it. A light click as the door shut. The lone remaining person in the room sighed at the unconscious figure on the bed.

"I'm starting to think she's right. Maybe we _do_ need to make you immortal, if only to see you last one month without being hospitalized again."

"…"

"That'd be funny, wouldn't it?"

"…"

"Alright, I'll leave you to your own devices now. By the way, I think I mangled your coat by accident… I probably shouldn't default to Lunatic difficulty all the time…"

"…"

"Good point, we could send it to Alice and have her repair it. I should probably do that now."

A sound of rustling cloth.

"Oh, good news. Your spell cards weren't torn up, though that might be because of the spell card rules. I don't know. Also – ooh, my little Byakurri! You're okay~"

"Can you take it easy, if you don't mind?"

"Aw, so cute~ anyways, I'll see you around. Eirin will notify me when you wake up, so I'll be back."

Footsteps. The sound of a door opening. However, the footsteps stopped for a brief moment, as if their owner were contemplating saying something. Deciding against it, she walked away, locking the door behind her.

"Goddammit, Yukari…" Darius opened his eyes, revealing he was feigning sleep. Looking around, he saw his revolver, shiny as ever, looking back at him accusingly from his nightstand, as if to say, _Why didn't you use me? It would've been fun!_

"No, Lexa-san. Then Byakuren would've gotten serious and we'd actually be in a coma right now."

_You're boring, Darius-sama._

"Do you mind? Even if I'm not in a coma, I still have a headache stronger than Suika's sake."

_Ouch. I feel for you._

"You're a gun. You don't even have feelings."

_In this Fanfic, I do!_

"Be quiet you." He groaned and slammed his head back against his pillow. "And now I'm arguing with my own damn gun. I'm starting to think insanity really is contagious."

_I'd offer therapy, but I don't think that's going to help._

"Lexa-san, that's like a serial killer shooting someone and then bringing to the hospital."

_Exactly why I'm _not_ offering therapy._

"How are you even alive? I thought you're just a gun!"

_I am just a gun, Darius-sama. As to why I'm alive, go ask Yukari-san._

"And you sound like a loli because…?"

_Again, ask Yukari-san._

"I just realized I'm still talking to a sentient gun."

_You don't say._

"Can anyone else hear you?"

_Only in a certain range, and only if you want them to. Well, except Yukari-san, of course._

"Dammit, Yukari."

_Then again, if it exists, there's a border for it, and if there's a border for it, Yukari will gap-hax it. No exceptions._

"What are you talking about?"

_Rule 17 of the Universe._

"You're just making this up as you go along."

_No, really! Ask Yukari-san!_

"Yeah, sure, because she's totally about to give me a straight answer."

_Hey, you know what'd be a great idea?_

"Geez, your ADHD is worse than I was when I was a kid."

_Well, technically, I'm you, so…_

"How'd Yukari even do that?"

_Rule 17._

"… Well said."

_Anyways, we should take some of Eirin's medicines and slip them to Byakuren when no one's looking. It'll be hilarious if she suddenly turns into a man! O-or gets ripped with bulging muscles!_

"… I continue to fear for my sanity."

_Ah, quiet, you, just get up and get those meds._

"No way! Byakuren will have my head on a spike!"

_Religion._

"Yeesh! Lexa-san, you are an evil, evil person. Gun. Whatever."

_So will you do it?_

"…"

_…_

"… Why the hell not."

_Aw yeah! I knew you couldn't win an argument with yourself!_

"But if you're me, how did you win that argument?"

_Did I just make a paradox?_

"I think you did."

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!_

"What was that?"

_Oh, just the space-time continuum falling apart because of what we just did. We should probably get to fixing it._

"How do we fix it?"

_How else? End the chapter; we'll do it behind the scenes._

"What are you talking about?"

_Hey, gap hag! Get out here, we need a hand!_

"NO! Don't call her a–"

"Did someone call for me? Or rather, _call me a hag?_"

_Oi, Yukari-san! Down here!_

"Oh, hello again, Lexie-chan."

_Don't call me that! Anyways, I think we have a universe to repair, so if we could just do that, I'm sure everybody would appreciate it._

"Eh, I'm tired. I think I'll do it in two chapters. I just… wanna… nap… zzz…"

_Well, crap._

"Now what?"

_Give a couple seconds. Three, two…_

_Bye!_

"Hey, wha–"

**– TOUHOU –**

**I realize I only hinted at Karin's power, though rather obviously. In case you don't understand it, I'll just outright tell you in a chapter or two. Also, Lexa-chan~**

**Also, Yukari, once you're done with fixing that paradox, can you help me repair the fourth wall? It's such a hassle, and expensive to boot...**

**And to my precious reviewer~ I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm sorry, but I'll try and guess it. Yes, I still remembered we needed to find her (As this chapter hopefully showed you), and it was first mentioned a chapter and a little bit before Chapter 6. Hopefully, that answers your question...**

**Final Note: Yes. As a matter of fact, I do very much love my slice of life in-between arcs. Granted, we'll be getting back on track soon, but oh well...**


	8. Birth of MANLINESS!

**Surprise~! Kogasa came by today, asked me to make a double-length chapter to surprise you guys. Hopefully she'll have enough food to not bug me again.**

**Anyways, we're getting back to our regularly scheduled arc! Unlike the Nineball Arc, this one will span more than one incident. Yes, there's a difference between the two. Oh, and the plot begins to thicken, too...**

**– TOUHOU –**

"I wonder how Dari-chan's doi – ehhhhh!? Y-y-you're awake!"

"Good afternoon, Byakuren-san." Darius yawned as he stretched in the bed. "Could you find Eirin-san, please? I'd like to leave, but I don't think I can go without her permission…"

Byakuren giggled at his words. Really, it sounded like he was a little kid~

"… Also, when'd you start calling me _Dari-chan_?"

The monk suddenly dropped her bag of groceries and whipped around, almost smacking Darius in the face with her dress as she tried to hide her reddening face. "W-w-w-what are you talking about? I've never heard anything about a Dari-chan, n-nope, nothing to see here." Turning around again, she tossed him the now-repaired trench coat and walked away looking as if she wanted to run. "I-I'll be waiting back at the Myouren Temple for you, Darius-san. Hurry up!"

_SLAM!_

"What's her problem? Lexa-san?"

_Who knows? She's just being herself; isn't she always this weird?_

"Yeah, but not to this extent…"

_Click!_ "I believe this is around the point I lock you in the mental ward." Eirin slipped the key into her dress, sitting down next to Darius. "In all seriousness, how long have you been awake?"

"An hour. Why?"

Eirin was already scribbling down notes furiously. She muttered under her breath, "… seems to show increased regenerative capabilities, possible mental damage, further studies required…" Clearing her throat, she put away the clipboard. "So, how are you feeling, Darius-san?"

"Not too bad, actually."

"You were almost turned into a vegetable and all you have to say is _not too bad._"

Darius winced. "Well, I'm sitting here right now, aren't I?"

"You wouldn't be if I didn't give you a sample of – urk!" Eirin coughed and looked away. Darius leaned closer to her. "What is it?"

"Eirin, _what shady drug did you use on me?_"

"What? I-i-i-it's not like I made a low-level Hourai Elixir that supplies the owner with immunity to old age and disease, but not unnatural death like a Lunarian," Eirin babbled wildly. Then her face fell. "I just gave it away, didn't I?"

_Good on you, doc._ Eirin blinked as she looked for the source of the voice.

"Shush, Lexa-san. Not now," Darius chastised the gun on his bedside, which looked normal as ever.

_But Darius-sama…_

"No."

_Fine, sheesh._

The voice fell silent. Eventually, Eirin decided to speak. "Your weapon is alive now?"

"More or less."

"And how old is it?"

"It's not a tsukukogami, Eirin-san. Yukari decided to start playing around with some borders and decided Lexa-san would be a good test subject."

"Oh, okay." Eirin continued to try and steer the conversation away from the original topic. But as she opened her mouth to speak, Darius beat her to it.

"Oh, and what was that you said earlier about a diluted Hourai Elixir?"

Eirin's head smacked against the wall. "This is going to go over so well…"

"You gave me diluted Hourai Elixir, didn't you?"

"… Yes?"

_"Light and Darkness – Solar Eclipse."_

**"AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"**

**– TOUHOU –**

Five minutes later, Darius stumbled out of Eintei, having thoroughly kicked Eirin up and down the mansion before leaving. Meanwhile, Lexa continued to complain about how she was meant to fire metal rounds, not danmaku, and certainly not spell cards. At the very least, once they had their excuse to beat down Eirin, they were free to raid her medicine cabinet. But don't tell anyone, and_ blame Yukari if anyone asks_.

"Darius-san!" Byakuren rushed over to him. "What in the world did you do? I was outside for barely a minute and things started exploding!"

"Eirin decided to force-feed me Immortality-in-a-Can when I was asleep." Darius stowed away the revolver, a sour look on his face. "So, good news/bad news time, I suppose. Bad news is I'd rather be _human_. Good news, I'll probably regenerate on my own after getting my butt handed to me, so no more crazy doctors."

Byakuren sighed. "I really need to talk to that woman sometime about using people for her experiments, even if it's her 'pet' moon rabbit."

"She keeps a pet moon rabbit?" Darius was baffled.

"Eirin-san and Kaguya-hime came from the Moon and brought a Lunar Rabbit with them."

"… At this point, I've just given up on logic."

"Good choice." Byakuren nodded in approval. "Now, shall we head back?"

"Alright."

"Wait for meeee~!"

Darius and Byakuren both turned to see Karin falling towards them – and right past them. Parallel to the ground. The girl somehow landed effortlessly and silently on a tree trunk and stood up, still sideways and defying all basics laws of physics.

"Whew," she panted as she caught her breath. "For a moment, I thought you two would leave without me…"

"How are you doing that?" Darius demanded in shock as Karin hopped up and down, her own little bubble of gravity firmly rooting her back to the tree every time.

"It's my power, apparently! I can control gravity; watch!" A single flick of her hand, and Byakuren's dress was suddenly trying to fall up.

"No~ put it back!" Byakuren cried as she tried to keep her dress from falling away to reveal an… _unbecoming_ sight. Darius looked away and averted his eyes, hastily wiping away a trickle of blood from his nose. "Karin-san~!"

"Fine," she pouted. She dropped her hand, and so did Byakuren's dress, who sighed with relief.

Darius shot her a dirty glare. "Crazy gravity-warping pervert…"

"That's not nice, you know!" Another flick of her hands, and suddenly, Darius was no longer subject to gravity as he slowly floated away from them. Ever… so… slowly…

"Karin-san, what did you do?" Darius tried to grab onto the nearest tree, but just _barely_ missed its branches as he slowly continued to trail away.

"Simple; I put you in an antigravity bubble!" Karin giggled. "Don't worry, there's still a _little_ gravity to pull you along after us, so you won't fly away into space. Of course, I might forget…"

"Karin-san, don't you dare!"

_Click!_

The gravity girl frowned at the gun pointed menacingly at her face. "Killjoys… "

_Thud!_

"OW!"

"Whoops, I forgot to cushion your landing~ oh, well!"

"You didn't forget, you dropped me on purpose!"

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Karin did a little dance in her protective shield of gravity as every bullet of danmaku that neared her either just barely brushed past her courtesy of a gravity field or just deflected as she held a hand up to it. "Sorry, can't touch this!"

"Karin, your dead body is _going to be my supper tonight!_"

"That's not a very nice thing to say, Darius-san."

The gunslinger's face fell as he found himself staring down the tip of a vajra blade. "Aw, piss. Not again…"

**– TOUHOU –**

Ironically enough, when they found themselves back in the Myouren Temple (Karin was just there to visit), Darius actually wound up stuck in the kitchen with the task of preparing food, alongside Nazrin and her small army of mice. His orders (technically requests, but Byakuren almost certainly wasn't going to take no for an answer this time) were simple: learn to cook from Nazrin, master at least one dish himself, and no replacing the food with dead bodies. Or any meat. For Byakuren, at least.

"How did you even _do_ that!?" Darius stared on incredulously as Nazrin somehow whipped up a small feast in under fifteen minutes with only help from her mice.

The Tiny Clever Commander laughed. "I've had a while to practice. Don't worry, you'll get there eventually. For now, just focus on your… salad…"

She watched as the pile of mush that was supposed to be a salad spontaneously burst into flames and withered away. Darius rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I told you I'm no good at making dishes except instant ramen; and even _that_ I can mess up. Granted, I've never made a salad explode, but still."

"Maybe I should've started you off from square zero, not square one…" The salad came to life, sprouted an eyeball and a set of tentacles, and wandered off, snarling and hissing as it went. "Scratch that. I'm sorry if you take this the wrong way, but…" She took a deep breath. **"HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU EVEN TURN A SALAD INTO A TENTACLE MONSTER!?"**

Darius heard a strange giggle from a cabinet as he tried to answer. Opening it, he found nothing inside but a single left-handed folding fan. Naturally. He muttered, "Dammit Yukari…!"

"Darius-san, I don't think you should be a cook." Nazrin frowned slightly as her mice scampered away to look for the salad monster that was now running unchecked in the temple halls. Predictably, several crashing sounds and panicked squeaks reverberated from the walls. "_Ever_."

"Oh, but this is his punishment~ after all, something as simple as cooking can't be too difficult, right?" Darius turned to see Byakuren framed in the doorway, a smile on her face and a quietly sleeping Yukkuri her arms. "It's not like you turned a salad into a tentacle monster, after all."

"I sort of did…" Darius said sheepishly.

Byakuren's jaw dropped. Pushing it back into place, she quickly said, "You know what? I agree with you, then. _Don't_ make dinner, lest we all get eaten by crazy living salads." She turned to the mouse youkai. "Where is the salad monster, anyways?"

"It ran away," confirmed Nazrin. Then she sobbed slightly. "Four perfectly good mice, eaten up by that monstrosity… they were all good mice, had a family and children; one of them was even supposed to retire tomorrow…" She broke down, crying quietly as Byakuren tried to console her. The monk shot a dirty look at Darius, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable. Then Nazrin cheered up and said, "Kidding~!"

Darius and Byakuren fell to the ground. Getting up, the gunslinger screamed indignantly, "What was that for!?"

"You had me so worried!" Byakuren protested.

Nazrin laughed, rolling on the floor all the while. "I really had you going, didn't I? They're all safe, but the salad monster did run away."

"Nazrin, don't scare me like that!" Byakuren let out the breath she'd been subconsciously holding. "It's not nice."

"Sowy, Hijiwi-chan…" Nazrin scuffed the floor with her shoe, looking as overwhelmingly cute as possible as she did. And just like that, Byakuren had swept up the little youkai in a crushing hug, squealing "So cuuuuuute~!"

"Wow, Nazrin's really channeling Chen right now," laughed a voice from right behind Darius. Not even bothering to be surprised, he simply growled, "Yukari… what do you want?"

Pulling out her fan and hiding her mischievous smile behind it, she spoke. "Why, only checking how my latest project was going. You remember that you're here to seduce Reimu, right?"

"Again with that?" Darius sighed. "Yukari, I already told you, I'm not here to sedu – _you brought me here to seduce Reimu!?_"

"Well, how else is the Hakurei clan to continue?" Yukari's eyes took on a hint of melancholy. "The Hakurei bloodline is one of those precious few things whose borders I can't manipulate."

"Really?" The yin-yang sharpshooter was intrigued. "What do you mean?"

Yukari giggled again, that devious glint back in her eyes. "Maybe I'll tell you another time, when you're being a good boy." As she vanished back into her gap, she called out. "Oh, and remember; seduce Reimu and stop trying to get in Byakuren's bed! You know she won't allow it~"

"Y-Y-Y-YUKARRRIIIIIIIIII!" Picking up the nearest object, which happened to be a glob of lettuce, he threw with all his might into the gap just as it vanished. With a small popping sound, half of the lettuce fell to the ground, cleanly sliced in half by the gap as it sealed shut. Wait, if only half of it was here, then that meant…!

Right on cue, a gap opened above Darius, dumping several _hundred_ globs of lettuce on _him_. As he struggled to climb out, Yukari popped out from the gap. Upside-down, as per usual. Also covered in gravity-defying lettuce, but that's not important. "See? Don't throw lettuce at me. There's a reason I'm in the best snowball fighter in Gensokyo~"

With that, she disappeared again, leaving the trio to try and clean up the mountain of lettuce. Granted, it was really only Nazrin and Byakuren after Darius somehow created _another_ salad monster and it ran away, too. What happened to the other one anyways?

And now that he thought about it, didn't he put Eirin's shady drugs in that first salad?

**– TOUHOU –**

"Hmm? And what might you be, little one?"

Rinnosuke Morichika held the angry salad monster at arm's length as it fought to try and strangle him. Easily holding it off, he noticed something about the salad monster. If you made it a point to ignore the eye, the tentacles, and the fact it wanted to kill you, it actually looked… _edible_.

"I wonder how it tastes…" Raising the other hand, Rinnosuke easily snapped off part of the salad and munched on it. Slowly, his eyes grew wide with wonder. "This is delicious!"

He fixed the salad with an evil glare as it slowly realized that the tables had turned. With a small squeak, it ran away on its tentacles, with the shopkeeper sprinting after it madly. "_Get back here, delicious salad!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

_Eh, forget about it, Darius-sama. It's probably not important_.

Darius hissed just quietly enough so that the others wouldn't notice. "If someone thinks it's a good idea to eat that thing, we're all doomed!"

_It can't be that bad. I mean, what could a few drugs do?_

"Oh, nothing special," Darius said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Just, I don't know, give us another repeat of the _Nineball Seraph Incident?_"

_… I did not think of that. Question is, how do we track it down?_

"Darius-san, who are you talking to?" Byakuren glanced over at him. "You've been talking to yourself for a while now."

_Please don't tell them I'm alive,_ the gun begged her owner.

"What are you talking about?" Darius raised an eyebrow as casually as he could. "I heard something creak in the wind – maybe you heard that."

Byakuren stared at him a moment longer, but nodded nonetheless. "Well, if you say so…"

_Smash!_

"What was that!?" Darius looked around wildly.

"I will feast on your yummy salad leaves! Stop running!"

_"HISSSSSS!"_

Just then, Rinnosuke sprinted past them in hot pursuit of a salad monster with tentacles. Barely noticing them, he sped right on by, chasing after the unfortunate salad. The living food dish stopped for only a second to bash down another door before running again, narrowly escaping Rinnosuke's hungry clutches. As it slammed the door behind it, Rinnosuke was unfortunate enough to smack face-first into the hardened wood. Shaking it off (and a not-insignificant amount of blood too), he shouted, "I will tear through your every trick, salad! YOU WILL BE MINE!"

And without another word, he tore the door out of its frame, leaving it on the floor as he ran down the halls of the Myouren Temple.

Behind Nazrin, a small pot slowly began to blacken and burn, but no one paid it any heed, instead opting to stare on in shock as the shopkeeper skid around a corner and charged off. "Was that…?"

"I think it was," Byakuren gulped. "Wait, where's Darius-san?"

**– TOUHOU –**

"I have you now! Hahahahaaaaa!" Rinnosuke bore down on the cornered salad, plucking a tentacle out of the way easily and nibbling another bite from the salad as it tried to squirm free. Darius slowed down to a stop behind him, Lexa already being drawn from her holster. Rinnosuke glanced over his shoulder. "What do you want? You're interrupting my meal!"

_Maybe he hasn't started eating it yet. Darius-sama, get the salad back!_

"Rinnosuke-san… put down the salad and nobody gets hurt." Darius raised the gun a little higher. "And whatever you do, do _not_ eat that salad."

"What was that?" Rinnosuke said with a mouthful of lettuce. "I couldn't hear you over the sounds of me eating this delicious salad."

"You think my salad's delicious?" Darius was taken aback. "Wow, thanks Rinno – this isn't that time for that!"

The shopkeeper kept looking at him funny as the gunslinger advanced. "Rinnosuke-san, that salad was spiked with one of Eirin's shady drugs! You need to get it out of your system right now!"

"Oh." Rinnosuke's eyes went wide. "_Oh._"

Slowly, he began to hunch over, his bangs falling over his eyes as he shook on all fours. Darius said to his sentient weapon, "Lexa, _what was in that salad?_"

The revolver remained silent a moment longer as she deciphered its contents before responding. _An unhealthy dose of steroids, a healthy dose of manliness... and a lethal dose of testosterone poisoning._

"… Crap."

Rinnosuke's clothes began to tear as his new iron muscles ripped through them easily. The ground beneath him cracked; the wooden planks shattering as they failed to support his increased weight. Bulging muscles doubled in size, then doubled _again_ as a low laugh began to rumble from his throat.

_CRACKKKKK!_

The floor underneath his foot splintered as he stepped on it, slowly rising as he towered to a height of eight feet. In an extremely deep, masculine voice, he looked himself over and spoke. "Disgusting. Clothes are for hippies!"

And without another word, he tore away what little remained of his robes, revealing his hulking form in all its glory. Except for the 'glory' hidden under the loincloth he'd chosen to keep on, much to Darius' and Lexa's relief.

"And we…?"

_Yes, Darius-sama,_ confirmed the gun in his shaking hand. _If we didn't turn that salad into a tentacle monster, this is what would've happened to Byakuren-san._

"Suddenly, I am_ very_ glad I suck so pathetically at cooking." Both wielder and weapon shuddered as they thought of what Byakuren would turn into under the effects of… _this_.

"Now, I'll be seeing you around," boomed Rinnosuke. "Thanks to you, I can now spread my manliness through all of Gensokyo!" He fixed them with a very unsettling look in his eyes. "In more ways than one."

"Darius-san." The gunslinger stiffened as he heard his name.

"Y-y-yes, Byakuren-san?"

"Kindly remind me that you need to be sealed in Makai for a month after this," Byakuren said as she activated her vajra, looking as if it took all her willpower just to stay close to Rinnosuke. "And what happened to you, Rinnosuke-san!?"

"_MANLINESS_ happened!" Rinnosuke roared with laughter. "And that's not all… I'm not Rinnosuke; I'm **Mannosuke.**" He began to eye the monk lecherously. "Someone I'm sure you'll come to… _enjoy_ after a while...!"

As a colossal hand reached out for her, Darius seized the back of her dress and tore off down the hallway, screaming "NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!"

Mannosuke frowned as they ran. "No, this won't do at all." A spell card materialized in his hands and he activated it. _"Manly Sign – SEXY BEAM!"_

His loincloth fell off, a massive drill of danmaku at least five feet long jutting out from between his legs as he began to chase Byakuren and Darius around the temple. "Come back, my love!"

"Oh gawd what did I do to deserve this!?" sobbed Darius as he ducked another salvo of danmaku from Mannosuke's 'drill'. "AIEEEEEEE!"

He burst through the doors leading to the main entrance of the Myouren Temple, skidded around the building, and leapt into a nearby river, swimming under the waterfall and up onto the rocks hidden behind it and praying to anything that was listening to save his and Byakuren's sorry butts.

Speaking of the monk, she smacked him again. "Ow, what was that one for!?"

"For making _that_," Byakuren shuddered as she said it. "And for dragging me all over the temple! Really, that is no way to treat a lady! Darius-san, you should… know… better…"

She came to the highly embarrassing conclusion that Darius had stopped paying attention to her face. You see, when Darius had jumped into the river, he'd dragged Byakuren in, and while her dress was already sopping wet and clinging to her figure, her white dress on top of it…

"Y-Y-Y-Y-YOUUUUUUUU!"

_Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!_

"No, I'm sorry! I'm sorryyyyy~!"

"You disgusting pervert! Looking at my… my…"

_BOOM!_

Both Byakuren and Darius were sent reeling as a fist blasted_ through_ the waterfall, punching away the water in a perfect radiating wave and revealing their location.

Mannosuke grinned as he began to slowly stalk closer to them. "Knock-knock…!"

"Seriously!? You found us _behind a waterfall?_" Darius whipped out another spell card. "I hate life…"

His revolver clicked open eagerly, the bullet chamber having modified itself to allow the insertion of spell cards. Driving the card into the slot, he aimed it at Mannosuke. _"Light and Darkness – Solar Eclipse!"_

_You don't even realize how hard it is to fire off spell cards…_ complained Lexa, but began channeling the danmaku nonetheless. A single white danmaku bullet fired from the muzzle with a _'Pop!'_ and expanded into a gigantic bullet shining so brightly that Darius had to shield his own eyes before it was coated in a second layer of black danmaku and rocketed at Mannosuke, the black danmaku rolling off of it and rebounding in the confines of the cave.

"Pathetic," growled Mannosuke. Reaching into his loincloth, he pulled out a spell card and activated it. _"Awesome Sign – DUAL NIPPLE SPARK!"_

"Wait what." Darius felt his eye twitch at the bizarre name of the spell card.

Then two colossal lasers blasted out of Mannosuke's nipples and horribly mangled every single bullet that was heading for him except for the solar danmaku, which was instead whittled down to a single ordinary bullet. It pinged harmlessly off of his chest.

Byakuren only watched on in shock. Recovering from her stupor, she realized Mannosuke was running at Darius, a single fist drawn back in what would almost certainly be a killing blow. He ducked under it, a wave of danmaku showering from the manly man's fist. Even though he dodged both the blow and the danmaku, Darius found himself knocked to the ground anyways, batted aside simply by the force of Mannosuke's passage. As he fumbled for Lexa, Mannosuke was rising over him, both hands drawn back over his head.

"Oh, _balls_–" Darius threw himself out of the way as Mannosuke crashed down on the wall behind him instead, shaking the cave and sending small boulders flying every which way. Recovering from his roll, Darius snapped up his gun, firing danmaku even as he ran, waves of bullets slamming into Mannosuke in alternating showers of black and white.

"You call that danmaku!?" Mannosuke roared as the bullets bounced off of him harmlessly. "I'll show you _real_ danmaku! _Execution Sign – CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE!"_

Charging in at incredible speeds, Mannosuke closed the twenty-meter gap between him and Darius in only a split-second, already lifting a foot into the air and swinging it around.

_Darius-sama, there's no time to dodge!_ Lexa warned him. Gritting his teeth, he prepared himself for another hospitalizing blow.

_CLANG!_

Byakuren held the vajra tightly in both hands as she stood in front of Darius, the blade of energy raking back and forth against Mannosuke's leg to no avail. Her arms shaking with the force, she shouted to the sharpshooter behind her, "Go! Use a spell card!"

Darius nodded as Mannosuke lowered his leg and swung around the other one with a roar of fury. Byakuren swapped sides with her vajra, the roundhouse kick having been blocked again. An unhealthy crackling came from her wrist as she continued to hold the berserker at bay. "_HURRY!_"

"Move it, girl!" Mannosuke shouted. "I'd rather have an intact prize after this…!"

"You mindless pervert!" Byakuren pushed back harder with the vajra, remaining on par with his overwhelming strength. "You have no right… to defile anyone!"

"I am the king of this world!" Mannosuke retreated again, this time instead leaping into the air and bouncing himself back down with the cave's ceiling in a drop kick that dug Byakuren into a foot-deep crater as Darius knelt next to her, silently chanting a spell card.

_Darius-sama, this might not even work…_ Lexa's voice was on the verge of outright panic. _If you keep this up, you might overload yourself and –_

"Zip it, Lexa!" Darius gritted his teeth as he continued furiously focusing his energy into the revolver. Drawing out a new spell card, he slammed it home into the chamber and pointed at both Byakuren and Mannosuke. "MOVE, HIJIRI!"

Byakuren heard him and forced Mannosuke back into the air before rolling away to safety. Mannosuke dropped to the ground next to Darius and ran in for another decapitating blow. This time, however, he was prepared. Raising the revolver, he muttered, "Ready, Lexa?"

_Ready, Darius-sama! Fire at will!_

**_"Absent World without Yin nor Yang!"_** Darius raised his own arm to block Mannosuke's roundhouse, his arm snapping and cracking even as he forced it to stay in place. With a massive effort, he levelled the revolver at Mannosuke, but not at his face.

No, it was aimed at the source of all of Mannosuke's manliness.

The manliest of men realized Darius' plan all too late. He lowered his leg and began to back away, Darius' mangled arm dropping to his side. Even so, he held the revolver steady and completed his declaration.

**_"Great Wuji Storm of Oblivion!"_**

A thin laser lanced out, etching itself across the cave and up Mannosuke's body, his face frozen in shock. For the briefest of instances, that was all. But then, black-white explosions raced along the laser's path, erupting and tearing all in its way to nothingness as it carved a trench in the earth on its nonstop charge towards Mannosuke. At incredible speed, the world-rending spell card reached him.

Mannosuke was sent flying out of the cave at terrifying speed, his toughened body slamming through countless trees as he flew all the way to the foot of Youkai Mountain, and even then only stopping halfway up, his momentum finally having bled out. A massive swath of uprooted trees and trenches of dirt marked his passage as his screams faded into the distance.

At the base of the trail of destruction, Darius lowered his gun, dropping the revolver to the ground as it glowed red-hot, the very air around it hazy and steaming. The smoke began to clear from the cave, revealing that was indeed nothing left where the spell card had struck – literally _nothing_. Instead of leaving behind a few mere pits or the likes, the overwhelming spell card had simply _erased_ them from existence, leaving behind a perfect silhouette of darkness where the many spires and rocks that littered the cave had been. No, not even darkness; it was simply nothing, simply a pit devoid of anything and everything.

The gunslinger responsible for the destruction fell backwards, only to be caught in the surprisingly strong grip of Byakuren. Darius glanced up. The Great Sealed Magician sighed as she looked at him. "For the amount of recoil you got from that spell, it was still certainly impressive." A smile flickered at the edges of her lips as she gestured around them. It was then that Darius noticed how the earth itself had been lifted and torn away from behind where he had first used the Wuji Storm.

"Guess I went a little overboard, didn't I…?" Darius was carefully lifted up by Byakuren, who helped him out of the cave, taking care to not brush either of their broken arms against anything.

She smiled. "You most certainly did, I daresay."

"Where'd… where's Rinnosuke?"

"Blasted away by your spell card. If he knows what's good for him, he'll lay low for a bit, so we'll have time to recover." She frowned at him. "I believe this was your fault, wasn't it?"

"What, tearing apart the fabric of the universe and blasting the manliest man in existence into the mountainside at the expense of breaking my arm wasn't punishment enough?"

Byakuren laughed at that statement. "Alright, I'll let you off the hook… this time."

"Heh, thanks, Byakuren."

She raised an eyebrow at the sudden lack of honorifics, but decided against saying anything.

"Oh my goodness! Are you two alright?" Nazrin ran up to them, closely followed by a collection of mice. "I wasn't able to keep up with you, but I heard fighting from the waterfall, so I went to check and – and what happened to you two?"

"Shush," Byakuren said quietly. "We just had a… disagreement with Rinnosuke-san. That was all."

She smiled a little as she looked over her shoulder at the again-sleeping Darius. Nazrin peeked at him with concern. "Will he be alright?"

Byakuren nodded. "Of course he will. We just need to let him rest a little." _And he better not have lied about the Hourai Elixir_, she thought to herself. "Nazrin, be a dear and bring Darius to his room. I'm very tired after that due – argument…"

"Okay, Byakuren-sama!"

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius slowly blinked open his eyes. Funny, he didn't remember sleeping on a white ocean in the middle of the night…

Wait a second.

He groggily got to his feet and looked around him. True, he was standing on the surface of a glowing white ocean (the power of Youkai Jesus compels you), but the water seemed eerily tranquil, only rippling when he tried to step anywhere. Above him, there seemed to be no sky; just an empty darkness that was almost palpable to him. Several yin-yang orbs the size of basketballs floated about in the air, softly humming and glowing as they slowly hovered around. He reached out to touch one as it floated by…

_"I wouldn't do that if I were you,"_ a girl's voice said from behind him. Her tone seemed familiar, but the voice seemed to echo, despite not having anything to echo off of.

"Who are you?" Darius turned. "Where am I?"

_"This is your dream world."_ She gestured around them and frowned as she pushed a lock of red-orange hair out of her eyes. _"As for me, call me Alexa. We've met, haven't we… Darius-sama?"_

"You… Lexa?"

_"The one and only."_ Alexa was dressed similarly to Darius, albeit with a different colour motif. Where Darius wore a black trench coat, she instead wore a light grey jacket that reached to just above her knees, buttoned neatly over a sky-blue shirt. They wore the same type of jeans, and she had scuffed brown boots on. Her eyes the same blue shade as her shirt, she frowned slightly and raised a hand. _"Are you done checking me out?"_

Ignoring her jab, Darius added, "What do you mean by dream world?"

_"Exactly what it sounds like."_ Conjuring up a chair and table from the ocean, she sat down and regarded Darius over her interlocked fingers. _"Everyone has their own little dream world; their happy place, I suppose."_ She giggled. _"And while I can't base this off of someone else's dream world, this seems rather… bland."_

"Gee, nice to know." Sarcasm galore. "And why'd you tell me not to touch that yin-yang?"

_"Because God alone knows what'd happen if you touched it. Your power is manipulation of balance. Yin-yang. Whatever. The point is, had you broken that yin-yang, you'd have completely ruined the balance of someone's life."_

"What are you talking about?"

_"The only interesting part of your dream world."_ Darius frowned at her. _"I'm just calling it as it is; don't judge me. Anyways, the point is, each of those yin-yang orbs represent the balance of someone's life. I'm pretty sure it only extends to those you're close to, but if your power grows (which it probably will), you'll likely gain access to the entire world's balance."_

Darius raised a hand to his face, flexing it. "That's… one hell of a power."

_"But like Cirno-san said; you might never reach your full potential in your lifetime."_ Her eyes sharpened. _"Or should I say, your _human_ lifetime."_

"Alexa, if you're going where I think you're going…"

_"I am. After Eirin gave you that replicate Hourai Elixir, it made you Lunarian, in a way. Now, you'll never succumb to old age or illness, and never die by any natural causes. However, things like being thrown off a cliff by someone, having your head sliced off… those don't count, so they'll still kill you."_

"Huh…"

Alexa smirked. _"A lot to take in at once, huh?"_

"Not really; I'd had a sneaking suspicion of this since I talked to Cirno-san."

_"Go figure."_

"But still, assuming I _do_ reach my highest level of manipulation, how long would it take…?"

"Oh, probably three or four centuries~"

_"Aw, crap… Sukima-san's back."_ Alexa groaned.

With a tearing sound, Yukari opened a gap beside the living weapon and popped out so she could sit on her gap like it was a chair. "Hello, Lexie-chan. Nice to see you doing so well. And you too, Dari-chan~"

"Stuff it, Yukari." Darius sighed before actually getting to the question he really wanted answered. "What did you mean by three or four centuries?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Yukari was fanning herself again. Why didn't she just dress lighter? "Assuming you live that long, you can probably become a master of your art in that amount of time, give or take ten or twenty years."

_"And you know this how?"_

"Silly little gun, that's how long it took me to master border manipulation~"

_"So you just admitted you're at least three hundred years old."_

"Well, that – I didn't – when did I – dammit!" With that, Yukari fell back into her gap, but popped out again from Alexa's desk. "But in all seriousness, would it be possible for you to teach me how to use my powers?"

"Nope." The gap youkai giggled. "Your little gun should be able to teach you all on her own. Right… Cagnes?"

The revolver growled as she manifested a perfect replica of her gun form in her hand. _"I dropped that name years ago, Yakumo-san."_

"Oh, don't be so stuffy. Heaven knows you could do with a little _calming down_."

_"Shut up!"_ The gun was now pointed at Yukari's forehead. _"I told you already, I… I…"_

"Fine, I'll just take my leave now~" Yukari began to sink back into her gap. "Oh, and don't forget, Dari-chan; stop making moves on Byakuren, it won't get you anywhere! Go work on getting Reimu in your futon instead!"

_"Dammit, Yukari!"_ Two voices called at once. A bullet – a _real_ bullet, made of metal – and an orb of danmaku flew at her, just barely skimming over her mob cap as she disappeared.

"Stupid…!" Calming down, Darius turned to face Alexa. "Also, Alexa, what was Yukari talking about?"

_"I – nothing, Darius-sama."_ Alexa dropped her revolver into the water, watching it slowly disappear into its depths. _"Don't worry about it. It's nothing important."_

"Alexa, tell me."

She looked back at him, a single tear in her eye. _"Please, Darius-sama. Sometimes… sometimes people's worst sides are brought into the light, even when they don't want to."_

"… What are you talking about?"

The sentient weapon looked away again. In a curt tone, she spoke. _"We've talked enough. I'll send your consciousness back to Gensokyo."_

"Hey, wait, that's not–"

_"I'll see you back in here, Darius-sama,"_ she whispered.

"Alexa!" Darius suddenly found his arms tangled in inky-black tendrils, his feet glued to the surface of the ocean. "Alexa, _speak to me!_"

She turned away. _"Goodbye for now."_

"ALEXA!"

As he disappeared in a flash of light, Alexa sighed and shook her head. _"I can't believe I've become this weak…" _She flinched, staggering across the surface of the water as black bolts of thunder raced up and down her frame. _"Dammit, get down, you sorry excuse for a…!"_

Feeling it recede, she sat down on the surface of the water, watching it gurgle and try to wrap around her. She smiled a little at its actions. _"Thank you, but not now."_ Alexa turned her head to the black sky, her smile fading as she stared into the darkness. She stared and stared, until she felt a presence begin to stare back.

Her face a grim mask, Alexa Cagnes breathed, _"Darius-sama, take good care of her…_

_"Or she might find herself going down my path next…"_

**– TOUHOU –**

**Whoever could Alexa be talking about? That's for me to know, and for you to find out...**

**Oh, and in case you didn't know, the concept of Wuji is based around the absence of both Yin and Yang. Make of that what you will. Honestly though, my knowledge on Wuji is very limited, so if you notice something wrong with it, feel free to point it out.**

**I also realize there was quite a bit of drama in that last part. I regret nothiiiiing!**

**In other news, I am horribly, horribly sorry for introducing Mannosuke into this. Just kidding, of course.**


	9. Subterranean Aggravation

**Sorry about this chapter being a little shorter than the others... Please forgive me.**

**– TOUHOU –**

Soft. That was the first thing that came to his mind. Slowly opening his eyes, he noticed that after his little duel of Mannosuke, he'd apparently been brought back to his bed. Getting up, he stretched a little, arms raised above his head –

Wait.

Wasn't this arm supposed to be broken?

He lowered it again and flexed it carefully. Nothing. That crazy doctor actually did something helpful for once…

"Hey, Lexa, you there?" Darius rubbed his eyes as he got up. The gun remained silent. The gunslinger frowned as he recalled his dream. "Don't wanna talk to me… alright. I get it."

He holstered the revolver and looked around for his coat. Apparently, someone had taken it off for him. But where did they wash their clothes, anyway? He should probably ask Byakuren. Darius glanced outside, noting the position of the sun – something he'd learned a long time ago. It was… seven or eight. They were probably cleaning up dinner now. His stomach growled a little. The gunslinger frowned and decided the kitchen would be his best bet.

"Oh, hello." Darius brushed past Shou Toramaru as he walked down the halls. "How are you – oooookay then…" He pressed his back against the wall as a tiny pagoda was suddenly waved in his face, glowing menacingly. "What's this about?"

"Stop flirting with Byakuren-sama, wench." Shou growled in a manner rather disturbingly like a real tiger. "I know what you've been up to, and if you lay a single hand on her, I will personally see you cast into the pits of Makai."

"Whoa, really? That's what you're going on about!?"

_Click!_

The hammer locked back as Darius brought Alexa to bear in the woman's face. "Look here, Toramaru. There is _nothing_ between me and Byakuren-san. Out of all the people in this temple, I expected you to be the last person to think that. I thought you knew her well!"

"Oh, I do." Her nails extended and sharpened into very nasty-looking claws. "And I'll say it again; keep _away_ from Byakuren-sama, or I will kill you, spell cards be _damned_. That is your last warning."

"Dammit, Shou! Go talk to Yukari about this whole 'love' deal! I haven't eaten since breakfast and I still have a crazed Chuck Norris wannabe on the loose to catch." His finger began to tighten on the trigger. "If you think standing in the hallway's gonna somehow keep me from _defiling_ Byakuren-san or whatever garbage you're spouting, it's not working. Now _move._"

Making a disgusted noise, Shou clipped the pagoda to her waist and spun around. As she walked away, she threw a last glance at Darius. No words were said, but the meaning was clear: _Remember my words or die._

"The crazy tiger-lady…" Darius sighed and rounded a corner – and smacked into Byakuren. Lost in thought, the magician toppled backwards, Darius falling immediately after her. As he fell, he quickly looked at his trajectory and realized his face was on a collision course with _her_ face. He could really only think of one logical explanation.

Dammit, Yukari.

Reacting as fast as possible, he threw out his arms, stopping his face a mere inch from hers. From their reddening faces, it was clear that Darius was in a rather… _compromising_ position, considering he'd fallen on top of Byakuren.

"B-Byakuren…"

The Great Sealed Magician raised an eyebrow. "Darius… Please get off of me. This is a very uncomfortable position."

"Oh! R-right. Sorry, Byaku–"

_"Darrriiiiiiussssssss…!"_

"Uh-oh." Darius didn't even need to look to know that one _exceptionally_ pissed Shou was looming over him. "Shou-san, I promise you this isn't what it looks like."

"I think it's exactly what it looks like. I leave you alone for _ten seconds_ and you try to take Byakuren-sama for your own in the _middle of the hallway!_ What is wrong with you!?"

"Um, you two remember I'm still here… right?" Byakuren was lost as Darius sprang back to his feet and going nose-to-nose with Shou. "Hello?"

"You were planning to stalk me until a made a move on her? _That's_ way creepier than anything you could've possibly thought I was doing!"

"_Lies!_ I was only watching you to make sure you didn't try anything funny! And sure enough, as soon as I turn my back, you jump on Byakuren-sama and try to… and try to…!"

"I keep telling you again and again, _I am not hitting on Byakuren!_"

"And you expect me to believe that after shoving a danmaku machine in my face? As if!"

"Give it a _rest!_"

"Never! _Jeweled Pagoda – Radiant Treasure Gun!_"

_"Neutron Sign – Light of a Reborn Star!"_

"ENOUGH!"

Both Shou and Darius skidded to a halt before tripping and landed on their faces, their respective spell cards fizzling out harmlessly. Byakuren had finally put her foot down.

"Shou-san, you know better than to simply accuse someone out of the blue! I understand you're only looking out for my safety, but please! The people I do and don't like are my own information, and I want you to keep out of it. Before you say anything, we are certainly not a couple, so enough of that!"

The tiger youkai nodded solemnly. "My apologies, Byakuren-sama."

Byakuren nodded before turning to Darius. "And you! I know you certainly didn't mean to bump into me in the hallway, but really! From what I've heard, even if Shou called you something terrible, it is no excuse to point a gun at her! Next time, please solve it calmly and without spell cards."

"Understood, Byakuren-san."

The monk sighed as she massaged a temple. She wasn't used to being so hard on people; it wasn't in her nature! And besides, after the whole Mannosuke thing had blown over, she'd already been drop-dead tired. "Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to hit the futon. If _either_ of you sparks another fight, then it won't matter who started it or who ended it – _I'll_ end it. Understand?"

"Yes, Byakuren-sama."

"It won't happen again, Byakuren-san."

She nodded curtly. "Good night, you two."

For thirty seconds, both Darius and Shou remained silent before turning to each other simultaneously. Shou offered, "Danmaku outside?"

"… Bring it."

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren pulled her head back from around the corner and giggled. It was so easy to get that to happen. A rumour here, a few 'white lies' there, and Shou was off to kill Darius. At the very least, it was better to get that to happen while she was around to make sure nothing terrible happened. Hopefully, they'd just be rivals now, and not on the warpath over her.

"I really do need to lie down, though…" The Great Sealed Magician sighed. As much as the acting was necessary, it didn't change the fact she needed to make it genuine. Hence, her headache was still very much a thing.

"Byakuren-sama, was that really necessary?" Murasa Minamitsu poked her sailor-cap-clad head out of her doorway, looking concerned. "I mean, those two might just off and actually kill each other when you're not looking."

"I find that doubtful, Murasa-san." She smiled and ruffled the ghost girl's hair like a parent would for a child.

"Ha! Oh _man_, Byakuren. That was probably the best heist you ever pulled!" Nue Houjuu fell from the ceiling, dropping to the ground expertly. Her trident safely strapped to her back, Nue's pet snake was coiled happily around the middle prong of it, resting.

"Nue, I already know what you're planning. No telling Shou or Darius to get them to chase after me." Byakuren rubbed her head. "It's all for a good cause, after all."

"What are you talking about?" Nue challenged. "All I saw was you messing with Shou's head to get her to kill Darius."

"She would've gone off to attack him if I didn't start it myself. Better they fight here than, say, on the battlefield."

"Good point." Murasa yawned, smacking her lips slightly. "I'm sleepy… Byakuren-sama, would you mind if I went to bed early?"

"Not at all. Go on."

"Thank you!" Murasa closed the door behind her, and both Nue and Byakuren heard the ear-piercing sound of the little ghost captain dragging an anchor in front of her door to keep unwanted visitors out. Really, why couldn't she just use a lock like a normal person…?

"Well, I'm off to see if I can get Kogasa to help me scare a straggler or something." Nue began to fly off with her mismatched wings, but Byakuren stopped her. "What?"

"If you're going to prank someone, please don't prank the visitors here. It makes youkai-human relationship forging a lot harder when everyone gets scared off by you two."

"Geh, fine…"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Really, now? You think you can drink an _oni_ under the table? How crazy are you?"

"Oh, I don't think I can drink you under, Yuugi! I _will_ drink you under!"

"Come at me!"

Satori Komeiji watched on in slight disbelief from one of Chireiden's balconies as Rinnosuke and Yuugi got into another drinking contest. Didn't that man have anything better to do? Or at least, some semblance of sanity so that she could feel slightly safe about reading his mind?

"Satori-sama? Is something wrong?" Rin Kaenbyou stopped by for a moment as she walked by with a cart full of corpses. _I'll bet it's probably something to do with that newcomer again,_ she thought.

"You're right, Orin." The mind reader sighed. "It's been two weeks since he first showed up after crashing into the Youkai Mountain and he hasn't bothered to leave. I think he's looking to sleep with Yuugi down there..."

_Wouldn't surprise me._ "Should we send Okuu to flush him out?"

"No." Satori walked back inside, closing the doors leading to the balcony as she went. "She'd probably burn down everything before chasing him out." _Maybe me or Koishi can chase him away?_ "Terrible idea, Orin. I doubt anyone except Okuu could possibly oust him, and Yuugi likes having a drinking partner around too much anyways."

_Have you ever bothered to read his mind?_ Satori shuddered. "Just the one time when he came here. I tuned him out after that…"

"Alrighty then." The kasha lifted up her cart again. "Well, I'm gonna dump off this load and then go visit Okuu-chan. Bye, Satori-sama!"

"No, Orin." Satori turned to face her pet. "Don't try and convince Okuu into scaring off Rinnosuke; it'd only end badly."

"Sorry…" With that, Rin took her leave, humming cheerfully as she went. The mistress of Chireiden shook her head as she tried to decide on what to do.

"Perhaps I'll ask Byakuren-san… or Reimu. Maybe even both." Yes, that seemed to be the best course of action. She pulled up a chair and spent the next twenty minutes scribbling down a letter to the Hakurei Shrine and to the Myouren Temple. Calling one of her hell ravens to her, she rubbed its head gently as she gave it the letters. "Deliver these to the recipients, please. Yes, as quickly as possible. Bring back their responses if you can. No, you may not peck them or ask for food. And no bugging Koishi, either."

The raven cawed once and took to the air, flapping its wings as it flew through the stagnant air of the Former Hell. Satori turned to the domed window next to her bed, scrutinizing the oni and… abomination down another five rounds of sake. She will never understand how that sake doesn't even drop when Yuugi fights…

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius finished the small bowl of rice he'd prepared for himself. With a helping hand from Byakuren, he'd thankfully managed to make at least the simplest of dishes without spawning another salad monster (how do you even turn a chicken into a salad monster, anyways!?). Getting up, he washed the bowl in the surprisingly high-tech kitchen (Thanks, Yukari), but noticed a light tapping on the window as he put it away. Opening it, he saw a small raven holding a letter in its beak. It hopped in, dropped the letter at his feet, and cawed.

"You want me to bring this to Byakuren?"

"Caw!"

"Is it very important?"

"Caw!"

"Who's it from?"

"Caw! Caw! Caw!"

"Are you a raven or a crow?"

"Caw!"

"… Okay then. Well, tell your owner thanks." Picking up the bird, he plopped it down outside the windowsill, but it promptly hopped back in and sat on his shoulder while pecking at the letter in his hands, as if trying to open it. "Caw!"

Darius raised an eyebrow. "You want me to read it?"

"Caw! Caw!"

"Alright." Digging a finger into the envelope, the gunslinger opened the letter and read it, his eyebrows slowly disappearing into his hair.

_Byakuren,_

_I believe it has already come to your attention that Rinnosuke Morichika has undergone a transformation that has left him extremely muscled and extremely annoying. I also happen to know from the split-second I read his mind that you and Loyhrs fought him off after his transformation in your temple. After having been blasted into the side of the Youkai Mountain, he has chosen to enter the Former Hell of Blazing Fires and is currently residing with one of the four Devas, Yuugi Hoshiguma. He stubbornly refuses to leave and has defeated all challengers in danmaku, myself included. Seeing as you and Loyhrs have already previously disabled him, I am asking you for assistance in removing him from the Former Hell. Know that Reimu Hakurei and (likely) Yukari Yakumo will be joining you in extracting Rinnosuke because I have sent them a letter too. Kindly send back your response as soon as possible._

_Thank you._

_Satori Komeiji_

_PS: We've already tried letting out Okuu. She screamed and ran away babbling something about cooties when she saw Rinnosuke. Orin wasn't much better._

"So…" Darius turned to the right and noticed Byakuren peeking over his shoulder. "We're going on a trip to Hell?"

"Caw!"

Darius stared at the letter for a moment longer. Silently, he sealed the envelope back up and gave it to the raven. In a flat voice, he spoke. "Byakuren, correct me if I'm wrong, but we're going into the pits of Hell to beat the crap out of_ the manliest man since Chuck Norris _who fought a nuclear-powered god-eating Hell-residing corpse-loving nuke-raven-lady and _won._"

Byakuren counted ten seconds off her fingers before responding. "Yup!"

"Someone help me…"

**– TOUHOU –**

Yukari smiled as she sealed shut the grape-sized gap she'd been using to spy on them. It seemed like her gambit was paying off, if rather slowly. Humming a tune under her breath, the Phantasm of Gensokyo reclined in her soft chair, a parasol propped up against it as she drifted about in her pocket dimension, countless Sukima Eyes blinking and staring around her. Bringing in that psycho really was a good idea, after all. As for the other one…

The youkai's eyes sharpened, many of the eyes surrounding her rolling about in their sockets as if they were trying to escape. _She_ was too much like Yukari herself. Almost like little Mary had been. Hopefully, drastic measures wouldn't have to be taken. And regarding his sentient weaponry... well.

Yukari hadn't even been responsible for that one.

Was it a tsukukogami? No, that was impossible – the revolver was definitely less than a hundred years old. It seemed like good old-fashioned possession was the explanation here.

"But why did it have to be that spirit…?" Yukari breathed. The pieces were lining up, and they were lining up all too well. A second force was at work here, one on par with herself _at least_. If it turned out to be who she thought it was, which it probably was, then her time was approaching. She'd have to leave that girl in her stead, maybe teach her what she _really_ is and let her assume the role of Phantasm Border. The same way Yukari herself had taken her role.

No, it wouldn't do well to muck around in her self-loathing. The youkai would have to save that for another time. Perhaps once everything had blown over. Speaking of that, she also probably needed to be making her appearance in the Hakurei Shrine. When?

She giggled maliciously, the small laugh echoing in the infinite expanse of her personal dimension. If she remembered Reimu's schedule properly, the little miko was probably replacing her sarashi already. Opening a gap, Yukari snatched up her parasol and drew out her fan, ready to bring upon the unfortunate shrine maiden another several sleepless nights with one eye open.

**– TOUHOU –**

**Oh, Yukari, whatever are you planning this time?**

**EDIT: [REDACTED DUE TO FIXING CHAPTER 10]**


	10. Ooh, Sunflowers

**Again, I'd like to take a moment to be a heartless monster and ask for reviews again. Please, over a thousand people have been enjoying my fanfic on this site, but only three of them have been posting reviews (Thanks, guys). The praise and constructive criticism is always welcomed, so please review if you have the time~**

**Thank you!**

**EDIT: Yay! The freaky internet problem resolved itself and my precious chapters can now be arranged properly~**

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren and Darius opened the sliding door behind the Hakurei Shrine in the morning to see a rather… interesting sight.

"Y-Y-Yukarin~! Stop that~"

"But you like it _so_ much, don't you~"

"Noooo~"

Darius glanced away, his face slowly reddening, a small nosebleed forming as he watched Yukari continue actively molesting the little miko while trying to remove her half-wrapped sarashi. The gap youkai had somehow pushed the shrine maiden to the ground as was currently crawling all over her, the white dress she usually wore now scuffed and dirty from rolling around on the floor, loosened by the fight and now only hanging loosely off her shoulder. Reimu herself was… in a state of undress, to say the least, though there was thankfully (mostly) secure covering on her more personal areas. If Yukari weren't intentionally trying to remove it, at least.

"Yukari-san, kindly stop trying to defile Reimu-san," Byakuren sighed.

The Phantasm of Gensokyo looked up, only noticing the duo for the first time. "Oh! Dari-chan, how nice to see you! You can swap places with me now; go on, don't be shy!"

Unfortunately, her hands were still roving every inch of Reimu's body, and were at the moment in a very… _affectionate_ grip with the miko. Ignoring her pants and pleas, Yukari raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

That was when both Darius and Byakuren grabbed her by the arm and unceremoniously tossed her down the mountain.

**– TOUHOU –**

A vein was pulsing in Reimu's forehead as she drank a cup of tea, glaring over it at the youkai who was innocently looking around and whistling. "You…"

"Oh, stop being such a tsundere." Yukari pouted. "You can't honestly say you didn't like it, you know~"

Reimu blushed and hid her face behind her cup, gulping down a bit too much tea. Coughing, she choked out, "W-w-who said anything about liking what you did to me? I-idiot!"

"Reimu-san, you are not helping your own case right now." Darius leaned on the table easily. "But really, Yukari; do you honestly show up out of nowhere while she's undressing and try raping her on a daily basis?"

"Ufufufu~ It's not rape if she likes it~" Darius slammed his head against the table in frustration, Byakuren opted for a facepalm, and Reimu gagged. Yukari looked at them all innocently. "What?"

Her eyes sharpening, she quickly spoke before anyone could say a word. "Now, I believe we were her to discuss Rinnosuke's current state of being in Former Hell?"

"This isn't over," Reimu seethed. "But yes, I got the letter. I'm assuming you two did, too." She nodded at Byakuren and Darius, who nodded back in response.

"Oh, it most certainly isn't over~" Yukari fixed the miko with a lecherous stare as she continued. "Nonetheless, I've tried spying on Rinnosuke, but he seems to be capable of blocking my gaps somehow, so we'll have to duel him right out of the underground."

"Enough of your sex life." Darius still had his face planted firmly against the table. "Can we just get going and seal that abomination against nature already?"

"Not quite yet." Yukari turned to face him, twirling her parasol idly. "You see, our letter contained a note saying a third team will be joining us."

"Another team?" Byakuren raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't on _our_ letter."

"Dari-chan~!"

_Whump!_

Darius found himself bowled over as Karin slammed into him for a flying tackle hug. Forcing the girl off of him, he got up and saw the second member of the gravity manipulator's team. "Hey, Cirno-san."

"Hello." Cirno stepped into the room, the temperature dropping several degrees from her mere presence. "I happened to receive a letter explaining what had happened with Rinnosuke-san. Care to explain why it stated you as the perpetrator, Darius-kun?"

"Um…" Darius began to back away as five murderous glares began to bear down on him. "The voices in my head made me do it?"

As they drew in even closer, he flailed about a little before breaking down. "Alright, alright! I was trying to steal some of Eirin-san's shady new drugs and use it to prank Byakuren, but the salad I put it into turned into a tentacle monster and ran away and Rinnosuke ate it! Gaaaaaah!"

_"YOU WHAT!?"_

From around the table, similar explosions of indignation followed Karin's outburst.

"Are you kidding me!?" Reimu jumped onto the table, gohei already in her hand.

"You're almost as crazy as I am!" Yukari slipped off her gap and fell to the ground with a crash.

"You tried to feed me shady drugs that would've turned me into what Rinnosuke is now!?" Byakuren raised a spell card into the air. _"Superhuman Sign – Byakuren Hijiri!"_

Darius' eye was twitching as he looked at the smirking Cirno leaning against the doorway. "Yeah, screw you too, Miss Seraph…"

Then he was immolated by four exceptionally angry girls.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Ow…" Darius rubbed his arm gingerly as he limped along next to the others. "Okay, you four I can understand, but why'd you join in too, Cirno!?"

"I felt like it," the ice fairy shrugged.

"For all your posturing, you're still a nineball, aren't you…?"

"Oh, be quiet."

"What are we all doing in this giant flower field anyways?"

"Satori-san felt the need to recruit one last solo member for our little extraction team." Cirno glanced over her shoulder and grinned evilly. "I do trust you two will be fast friends. You should offer her one of those sunflowers, you know."

"Darius, no!" The gunslinger's hands were stopped less than an inch away from the nearest sunflower. Byakuren glared at the ice fairy. "Cirno, you crazed little fairy!"

The Seraph of Ice smiled genuinely. "I'm sorry; I can't help but indulge myself a little from time to time."

"What's going on here?" Darius was completely lost.

Byakuren shook her head and explained. "This is Yuuka Kazami's Garden of the Sun. Plucking any flower in these fields means signing your own death warrant for her."

"It's a sunflower. What's the big deal?"

"… She's a flower youkai, Darius."

"Oh…"

"Some people call her the Ultimate Sadistic Creature, and with good reason." Reimu looked at the sunflower Darius had tried to grab. "Good, you didn't harm the flower. We're safe for now."

"Wait, we're not allowed to touch flowers?" Karin looked up innocently, her hands full with a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Oh, crap." Yukari visibly paled. Grabbing Reimu, she jumped into a gap that appeared directly in front of her. "RUUUUUU~UUUUN!"

"This is going to end horribly," Cirno muttered. Generating an icicle sword, she raised it in a defensive stance. "Darius-kun! Byakuren-san! Draw your weapons and stay alert."

She tried to look deeper into the dense maze of sunflowers. "Yuuka's on the prowl."

"What?" Karin was confused.

"Keep your voice down!" Three voices hissed at her, but it was too late. A palpable aura of killing intent radiated from in front of them as a snapping, crackling sound echoed through the Garden of the Sun. A boot slammed into the ground, leaving behind a crater as its owner revealed herself.

"Oh, dear." Yuuka rubbed her eyes with one hand, her parasol clutched in her other. Her nightcap bobbed on her head as she walked; apparently, she'd just been woken up. "I'm simply enjoying my daily noontime nap and what happens? Someone goes around, killing my innocent little children." She glared directly at Karin through her sleepy haze. "It was you, wasn't it~?"

Karin stowed the bouquet behind her back. "Um, no…?"

"Nice try." Yuuka closed her parasol and pointed it at them. A ball of light began to form on its tip. "Now, you have ten seconds to pray to your deity of choice and decide which organ you want removed first, little girl."

"Wait! Yuuka-san!" Byakuren slid in front of Karin, vajra in hand. "Didn't you receive your letter as well? From Satori-san!"

"Hmm…" Yuuka yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "No, I can't say I did, Hijiri. Elly must've forgotten again. Oh, well." Her parasol began to glow brighter, along with the sunflowers around her. "Now please move, Hijiri. I'll just take the girl and you lot can be on your way~"

"We either all walk away or none of us do," Darius said calmly as he readied Alexa. The revolver had been unusually quiet since his first dream encounter, only ever speaking in his dream world, and even then only just enough to tell him how to hone his manipulation skills.

"It doesn't matter if you all attack me at once; I can still easily rip you all to shreds. In my Garden of the Sun, my sunflowers provide me with unlimited magical power, after all." The youkai moe giggled a little.

"We'll see about that." Darius dug into his pocket for a spell card, but before he could, Yuuka simply dispersed the energy around her parasol and slammed it into his side with extreme force, sending him flying through the sunflower field. Completely ignoring Cirno's attempts to distract her with danmaku, the Ultimate Sadistic Creature walked at a leisurely pace after Darius, frowning at the way his passage had ripped up quite a few sunflowers.

"No, no," she muttered to herself. "This won't do at all."

Darius gently pressed a hand to his side to try and stop the bleeding. Seriously, how was it even possible to swing a parasol like that and _not_ instantly shatter it? Looking up, he found that Yuuka had come face-to-face with him, a cruel smile flickering on her lips. "Look at what you've done, boy. You've torn up all my precious little flowers! I hope you realize I have to _punish_ you now."

_"Darkness Sign – Endless Absence of Light!"_

The beam of darkness erupted from the barrel of his gun, a laser on par with Marisa's infamous Master Spark. However, it was merely an annoyance to Yuuka, who did nothing but open her parasol slowly and prop it up in front of her. To the gunslinger's complete surprise, the beam struck the parasol and was _deflected_, several smaller lasers shooting past the flower youkai and instead burning down more of her precious flowers.

"You…!" Yuuka snapped her parasol shut and took one, two, three decisive steps forward at the recovering Darius, her parasol hand drawn back for a crushing blow. _"Die!"_

The parasol slammed into Darius' stomach and saw him flying into the air, trailed by countless bullets of flower danmaku as Yuuka pointed the parasol at the gunslinger as he fell. Her voice was cold with fury and hate as she declared her spell card.

_"Sun Sign – Solar Spark."_

Three times larger than Marisa's own Master Spark, Yuuka's most iconic spell card sent a colossal wave of energy blasting away at Darius. Finally, Darius heard Alexa speak up. _Well, we're screwed._

"Of all the last words you could've chosen…" Darius watched the laser approach.

_Just kidding, of course. While you weren't looking, I slapped together a new spell card for you. Fire at will, Darius-sama._

"Gotcha." Darius holstered the revolver and held his hands out in front of him, staring down the vast beam. In each hand, a monotone ball of energy began to form; crackling black and white as they throw off sparks in the air.

Alexa muttered, _Yakumo Arcana…_

_"Phantasmal Triple Barrier,"_ Darius finished.

Sweeping his hands out in a wide arc, two black-white lines formed an X shape for a split-second and expanded, swirling around each other and Darius in a perfect representation of yin-yang, the Solar Spark slammed into it at full force. Yuuka narrowed her eyes as she watched her Solar Spark grate across the surface of Darius' bootlegged border spell, the extreme force of her laser assault keeping him suspended in the air. For a stolen spell, it certainly was quite strong. Rather like a certain other black-white kleptomaniac magician…

Yuuka's Solar Spark canceled out, dispersing into several slow-moving orbs of danmaku. Without a support, Darius fell to the ground, easily turning his fall into a roll. Recovering at extremely rapid speeds, he flung himself headlong at Yuuka, the border spell around him coalescing into a single extremely dense amalgamation of magic in his hand.

The flower youkai gritted her teeth as the gunslinger neared, fist drawn back for a punishing blow. Swinging back her parasol, Yuuka brought it around for a decapitating strike –

Darius _slid_ under the metallic death, barely saving his face from a brutal rearrangement as his momentum brought him that last crucial meter closer. With one last burst of strength, he shot forward like a bullet…

Yuuka brought up her parasol, recovering far quicker than Darius anticipated. For several seconds, both parties stood in a stalemate with each other. The Ultimate Sadistic Creature smiled terribly. "Nice try, boy."

Holding up her hand, Darius finally saw the hidden orb of magic concealed in her hand. _"Flower Sign – Giga Spark."_

Just as the massive blitzkrieg of death emanated from Yuuka's palm, Darius drew his fist back and twisted, bringing Alexa to bear on his opponent.

**_"Absent World without Yin nor Yang – Great Wuji Storm of_**** Oblivion."**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Owowowowow! Byakuren, that hurts more than taking a point-blank Giga Spark!"

"That's your punishment for running off and challenging _Yuuka_ of all people!"

"Stop that! I get it, already!" Darius finally pulled himself free of Byakuren's vice-like grip, nursing his many bruises. After having beaten down Yuuka and nearly killing himself to do it, they had (as per usual Gensokyan customs) been graciously invited into the youkai's mansion for tea and biscuits. Thankfully, the youkai moe had indeed listened to Cirno's explanation of what had happened to Rinnosuke, and after pulling the letter off of her stubborn guard (who had been locked in the 'dungeon' for future 'punishment'), agreed to assist them.

Yukari and Reimu also showed back up after a while, with the gap youkai looking _suspiciously_ cheerful, and the miko looking distinctly beaten-up, her shrine maiden getup having been torn up, albeit not in any revealing locations. Nonetheless, it made Darius idly wonder about what kind of depraved sex life Yukari had, and probably Yuuka, too…

Until the Phantasm of Gensokyo promptly tried running him over with a train for daring to copy her Charming Quadruple Barrier.

The youkai moe stretched her arms over her head, yawning and smacking her lips. "Certainly, I'll be joining you in solving this little incident. However, I need to take my midday nap, which you rather rudely interrupted. Good night, everyone." Nodding curtly to Darius, she left the room, but poked it back in for the briefest moment. "Oh, and please leave within the next ten minutes; I have a nasty habit of sleepwalking~"

With those last words, she closed the door behind her and sauntered off to her bedroom. Cirno sighed as she swapped out the ice pack she'd earlier plopped on Darius' head with a fresh one. Tossing away the melted ice, the ice seraph looked to the others. "So, I believe that's everyone who will be joining us on our next incident?"

Reimu and Yukari nodded their consent. Darius said, "I believe so", and Byakuren was too busy playing with a Yukkuri she'd snuck out of Yuuka's torture chambers to notice.

"Good. Now, with that out of the way, I'll be waiting for you all at Youkai Mountain. Come along, Karin-san."

"Okay, Cirno-nee!"

"If you please, arrive before sundown, as I'd rather not see you all incapacitated by feral youkai before even reaching your destination," Cirno concluded and flew off, followed closely by Karin.

"What should we do about Yuuka?" Darius looked to Byakuren.

The monk shook her head. "She'll show up when we need her; trust me. As for us… you could probably use these few hours to recuperate."

Darius nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Byakuren."

Her face reddened a little. "N-no problem, Darius…"

"Aw, look at the two little lovebirds~ aren't they cute, Reimu-chan?" The moment was instantly shattered by one remorseless Yukari as she poked her head between them.

"Dammit, Yukari." Reimu slumped against the wall and sighed. Darius and Byakuren reacted in a slightly more pronounced way.

_"I will see you burnt to a crisp in Makai, Yukariiiiiiii!"_ Darius sprang up and chased after the gap youkai, who shrieked and ran, closely followed by Byakuren, who almost tripped over her own feet as she got up. "Y-Yukari, we're not l-l-lovers, darn it all!"

"Your denial only makes me try harder~" Yukari cackled as she burst through the doors of Yuuka's mansion and flew off.

_"Light and Darkness – Solar Eclipse!"_

_"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"_

_"Shikigami – Cheeeeeeeen~!"_ Plucking the unfortunate nekomata out of a gap, she hurled the little shikigami at Darius, bowling him over. Turning to Byakuren, she drew another shikigami spell card. _"Shikigami – Exhibitio – _er, I mean_ – Ran!"_ From another gap, she seized her loyal and rather miffed kitsune shikigami and flung her at Byakuren, batting her out of the air. "SorryIgotthingstodowishIcouldstayaroundlongerohwe llBYE~!"

And with that, Yukari disappeared into a third gap, sealing off her shikigamis' escape route. Apologizing, Ran hauled Byakuren and Darius back to their feet, just as a massive gap opened up behind her and Yukari's voice echoed out. _"Obsolete Line – Trip to the Abandoned Station!"_

Right on cue, _another_ train came blasting out of the tunnel, running over all four of the unlucky targets. The gap closed once more, this time for good as everyone shakily got back to their feet. Readjusting her hat, Ran called out, "Is everyone okay? Byakuren-san? Darius-san? _Cheeeeeeeeen~!"_

_"Ran-shamaaaaaa~!"_ The two flew into each other's arms, Ran spouting yet another nosebleed as she hugged the little nekomata tight. Byakuren sighed and shook her head, whereas Darius groaned and smacked his head against the mansion wall. "Dammit, Yukari…!"

**– TOUHOU –**

**I also happen to realize I've been leaning on the border between T-rating and M-rating. Don't worry, I won't post anything explicit...**

_**Yet.**_

**Mwahahaha!**

**(srsly tho no smut sry)**


	11. Into the Underground

**Thanks to the power of witchcraft, Chapter 10 has been PROPERLY repaired! Booyah!**

**Also, to my dedicated reviewer~ I realize Yuuka comes off as ****_very_**** sadistic, but that's because attacking her sunflowers is an extreme trigger fuse for her. Just don't pick them. Really, she's a bit like Yukari; mild, a little hard to read sometimes, calling her a hag/destroying her sunflowers leads to a terrible death. But when her flowers are safe, she's really quite amiable. However, she's still a terrifying force on the battlefield.**

**– TOUHOU –**

"So, if we go by typical logic, Yuuka probably counted as our Stage 1 Boss, so we've got another four bosses to beat up before we get to fight Rinnosuke." Yukari paced back and forth outside the entrance to Former Hell on the top of Youkai Mountain. "Knowing our path, Yamame's going to be our Stage 2 and Parsee will likely be the Stage 3 boss. Hmm, no minibosses, I guess… As for the other bosses…" She winked at the others. "Sorry, I can't reveal the others because those templates would be forbidden~"

"Reimu-san, what is she talking about?" Darius whispered to the miko as they watched the gap youkai resume her pacing.

The shrine maiden rolled her eyes. "She always gets like this when she gets involved in an incident and rants on and on about some sort of Seven-Stage Rule or something. I gave up on figuring it out a long time ago."

Beside them, dressed properly in her usual plaid shirt and skirt, Yuuka mumbled something about being demoted to a Stage 1 boss under her breath sourly.

"Alright!" Yukari pounded a fist into her palm, looking ready to fight. "Let's go into this underground hellhole (Pun _completely_ intended! See what I did there?) and wreck that damned muscle-bound freak! Let's _go~!_"

As the gap youkai leaped down the tunnel, Karin vaulted after her. "Wait up~!"

Reimu muttered curses under her breath as she climbed over the lip of the tunnel and fell in as well, closely followed by Cirno. Byakuren raised an eyebrow. "Well, that was certainly fast." She turned to her partner. "Shall we follow them?"

_Well, not like we have anything else to do,_ Alexa's voice piped up from inside the revolver. _Get going!_

"Whatever." Darius grudgingly followed Byakuren down the vertical descent, but just as he let go of the lip, he suddenly remembered something. "Wait! Byakuren, I can't flyyyyyyy…"

_Whoops, my bad,_ Alexa laughed sheepishly as her voice quickly faded away as well.

Yuuka shook her head and sighed. Easily hopping over the edge, she opened her parasol and fluttered down slowly after the others. As she fell, she said to herself, "I better get something out of all this for myself…"

As she floated away quietly, a single slip of paper fell out of her pocket, a torn piece of the letter she'd pulled off of her unconscious guard before leaving her mansion landing softly on the grass. A small gust of wind flipped it back over, as a certain reporter snatched it before it could fly away. "Ayayaya~ What's this?"

_Satori Komeiji_

_PS: I have arranged the teams as follows. Please follow this assembly._

_Border Team – Reimu Hakurei, Yukari Yakumo  
Myouren Team – Byakuren Hijiri, Darius Loyhrs  
Polar Team – Cirno 'Seraph', Karin Muyoka  
Flower Team – Yuuka Kaz–_

"Huh, the page is ripped. Oh well, a scoop's a scoop!"

**– TOUHOU –**

The spider youkai glanced up from her latest weaving invention, a fine artwork made entirely of spider silk, as some of her detection threads began to vibrate slightly. Stowing it safely in the safety of her massive expanse of webs, she crawled over the complex network and waited for her visitors, taking care to not step on the particularly sticky threads.

"… aaaAAAAIIIIEE_EEEEEEE!_"

_SPLAT!_

Yamame winced as the strange black-clad human flailed about in her webs, tangling himself as he tried to get out. She murmured, "What a strange specimen. Whatever, at least I have another meal." Scuttling over to the now-firmly entangled human, she introduced herself. "Hello, human. I'm Yamame Kurodani, youkai of disease. Thank you for letting yourself into my web – that red-white miko said I'm only allowed to eat anything that jumps on my web on its own, so I've been starving for quite a while."

Darius stopped squirming and raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

The youkai giggled. "A brave little dinner; I almost feel a little bad for eating you. Most people would've started screaming by now."

"A man's hands can kill just as easily as any youkai's powers, but you do not fear every man that crosses your path." Yamame and Darius looked up to see Byakuren flying down to them, landing softly on the non-sticky portions of Yamame's web. The monk smiled as she elaborated. "Just a classic passage I've come to live by."

"Have we met before?" The spider youkai was mildly confused by the situation. However, before either the gunslinger or the magician could speak, two voices began to resound from overhead. "Y-Yukarin~ if you want to do _that_, at least do it somewhere that's not in the open!"

"There's no one around, and anyone who falls by won't notice us; there's no problem~"

"Stop~!"

Reimu crashed down onto one of the few rocky ledges that jutted out from the circumference of the tunnel. Rubbing her head, the miko got up and looked around. "Hey, you're…!"

"Red-white!" Without hesitation, the spider youkai whipped out a concealed spell card, the threads around her unraveling and floating into the air. _"Spider Sign – Cave Spider's Nest!"_

Reimu leaned back easily as a rope of danmaku slammed into the wall behind her, brushing a mere inch past her face. "Somehow, I don't think so!" A handful of amulets already in hand, she threw them and they expanded, homing in on Yamame and blasting her into the wall. However, her spell remained active as she got back up. More and more threads began to shoot about the cavern, several narrowly passing by Darius and Byakuren, the latter having been busily working on hacking free the former. Carefully positioning herself, Byakuren grabbed Darius just as he fell free, hauling him onto her back.

Yamame glanced over at them as they began to descend away from her. "No! If you get away, I won't have food for weeks!" An interlocking web of danmaku formed under them, cutting off their escape route. Muttering something about how much he hated piggyback rides, Darius pulled out his revolver and fired a large ball of darkness, clearing a path for a split-second as they shot past. Yamame cursed, her mind taken off of the duel for the briefest instant.

When she turned back, her face was suddenly subject to an exquisitely painful serving of gap train as the Yukarin Express rammed her into a nearby wall, instantly turning the tunnel into a road wreck as far, _far_ more train than the tunnel should have been able to accommodate continued to fill it up. As the spider youkai tried to get out, countless gaps opened up directly in front of her and drove her twenty feet deep into the tunnel's side with a hail of danmaku.

Yukari popped out of a gap next to Reimu, pulling her in without a word, not even bothering to close the gap. Eventually Cirno and Karin flew past the gap, the seraph clapping a hand across the girl's ears and shooting by as quickly as possible as rather _passionate_ sounds began to bubble out of the gap.

Ten minutes later, Yuuka floated by on her parasol, humming thoughtfully to herself as she looked around at the carnage Yukari had wreaked. The old hag must've _really_ been in a hurry to have Reimu to herself…

**– TOUHOU –**

"Paruparuparu~" Parsee Mizuhashi flopped around on the bridge she'd been bound to. "I'm stuck on this darn bridge while Yuugi-chan gets to go have fun and party in Hell… I'm so jealous~"

Darius watched the girl from afar as she ranted to thin air. Thankfully, they'd finally gotten out of the 'plummet fifty thousand feet into the heart of the earth' part of their. But really, for whoever thought a mere three meters of water would break his fall, he'd have to find them and punch their lights out. "That's Princess Jealousy?"

Cirno pulled a face. "Yeah. She used to actually take care of the bridge and the people crossing over it, but now she fights them because of how jealous she is of the way they can walk around and she can't. Someone get the girl a therapist…" Byakuren opened her mouth, but Cirno cut her off before she even spoke. "No."

"I thought you needed a counselor for the girl," Byakuren pouted.

"No," Cirno insisted. "It would only end horribly."

"Then why'd you say she needed a counselor?" Karin whispered to her new friend.

"It was _sarcasm_."

"Aw, you guys get to have friends; I'm so jealous!" Parsee wailed from right next to them. As one, all four of them scattered and watched Parsee in disbelief. Noticing their looks at her, she spoke again. "You even get to be surprised by people! I'm jealous~"

Somewhere in the Myouren Temple, a certain karakasa sneezed, rubbing her nose as she looked around. "Someone's talking about me," she sniffled.

"Don't say or do anything," Cirno hissed in Darius' ear, just loud enough to hear, but not enough for Parsee's sharp ears to pick up on.

"You guys are ignoring me!" Parsee wailed. "I wanna ignore someone too!" Turning away in a huff, she folded her arms and looked away. Ten minutes slowly ticked by as they continued to stare at her back. Byakuren and Cirno floated in place, Darius was sitting on the ground, and Karin watched from the ceiling. Slowly unfolding her arms, Parsee walked back up to the gunslinger, who didn't so much as blink as she waved a hand in front of his eyes. "You're so good at not doing anything… I wanna do nothing!"

Sitting down, Parsee stared intently at Darius, who continued gazing into the distance with a thousand-yard stare. She pulled out a spell card and rubbed it all over his face. No response. Crawling behind him, she tried tickling him. Still nothing. More than a little upset, Parsee tossed a ball of danmaku at him. It bounced off of his chest and disappeared. Blinking slightly, the Jealousy beneath the Earth's Crust frowned. "Um, are you okay?"

_SMASH!_

Byakuren and Cirno dropped to the ground like flies, Karin crashed to the ceiling as she tripped, and Darius finally moved, choking slightly. All four of them looked up in shock. _"DID PARSEE JUST SHOW CONCERN FOR SOMEONE!?"_

"You guys are so good at being synchronized," Parsee began. "I wanna be synchroni–"

_Fwoom!_

Suddenly, every last one of them had blown by Parsee, leaving her in the dust as she tried to recover. Stumbling to her feet hastily, she ran after them. "You run so fast! I'm so jealous~"

Drawing a spell card, she sped up. _"Tongue-Cut Sparrow – Large Box and Small Box!"_

As she continued to run, she yelled one last jab at them. "My spell card's name is so long~ I'll bet yours have really short names! I'm jealous!"

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius stopped to catch his breath, heaving slightly as he recovered. "Is she always that weird?"

"More or less." Byakuren was only doing slightly better. "She only gets along with Yuugi-san, and even she has trouble with that girl."

"Yuugi… that oni girl?"

"Yes. She's one of the four Devas, the strongest onis around," explained Cirno. "Also, good work on making Parsee do something besides be jealous." She chuckled at the memory of Parsee's concerned face; that was definitely not something you saw every day!

As they walked down the path through the Former Capital of Hell, Darius noticed the mood was rather light and cheery. Then again, it _was_ a village that was run by onis, so that was to be expected. Quite a few youkai glanced at them from the sides of the streets, but none confronted them. Maybe it was Byakuren's presence that kept them at bay. For once, Darius was glad Reimu wasn't around or they'd probably attack on sight.

"Kuh," Cirno froze another one of her wings back into place. "Sheesh, it's hot down here. My wings haven't stopped melting since we came here." Wiping a bead of crystallized sweat off, she looked to the others. "So, where are we going to find Rinnosuke?"

"Well," Byakuren consulted the letter she'd brought with her. "Satori said he'd been living with Yuugi-san, so we should probably go look for her." She fidgeted a little. "I, uh… I don't know where Yuugi-san lives, though."

"Well, there's an easy solution to that," Darius said. He raised a _very_ strong dish of sake to his lips and downed it all.

The monk frowned at him. "Darius, if you do what I think you're going to do…"

"Hey! You there!" Darius pointed at a random passing oni. "Wanna have a bet?"

"You're on!" The one-horned oni challenged back immediately. "What's the bet?"

"Ahaha…" Darius tipped for a second before regaining his balance. "I'll bet you I can wreck you in a danmaku duel! Three cards each! Loser does whatever the winner wants!"

_"Come at me!"_ whooped the oni and rushed at him. Darius laughed and ran forward as well, revolver in hand. Byakuren groaned and slapped a hand to her face.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Yeah, that's where she lives," confirmed the oni. After having beaten Darius up and down the block, and then getting his butt served to him on a silver platter by the gunslinger in retaliation, he'd laughed it off and conceded defeat. "Oh, and nice fight earlier."

"Ehehe…" Darius leaned against Byakuren, slurring slightly as he tried to talk. "T-thankz."

The oni gave him a pitiable look. Idiot didn't know how to hold his drink… Pulling out two bottles, one large and one small, he gave them both to Darius. "Know what? You fought real well, so I'd like to throw in a little extra for ya. Drink the small bottle; you'll sober up in no time."

"Thank you," Byakuren said sincerely as she crammed the bottle down Darius' throat, who spluttered and coughed as he tried to regurgitate the glass. "What's in the larger bottle?"

"Some damn fine sake," laughed the oni. Catching Byakuren's glare, he faltered. "Right, sorry, Byakuren-san. You don't drink, do you?"

"No, I can't say I do."

"Tell ya what; bring it with ya to your next meeting! Get a few new faces at your temple." With that, the oni sauntered off. "I'll see ya around!"

"Was that a miniboss or a boss?" Karin asked as she watched Darius collapse in the most comical way possible.

"Probably just a miniboss," shrugged Yukari. "You know, the author will probably throw him into the next incident and give him a name then."

"Eh? W-when'd you show up, Yukari?" Karin backed away from the youkai, who had a sleeping Reimu tucked under her arm as she sat on a gap.

"Oh, about five minutes ago. I just got back from… _enjoying_ Reimu." Yukari licked her lips as she looked at the sleeping miko. Everyone took a step back from her. "Oh, I'm messing with you. Loosen up a bit!"

_Freaky hag…_ Alexa muttered sourly.

"Oh, don't be that way, Lexie-chan!"

_Stop calling me that!_ The revolver protested sadly.

"Would you rather I called you as you are?"

_… You know what? Fine, I don't care, then._ Alexa fell silent again. The others blinked and looked at each other and Yukari, who seemed to be babbling to nothing.

"Heh. I win again, as always~" The gap youkai looked at them all. "What?"

Cirno shook her head and muttered something under her breath, Karin facepalmed, and Byakuren simply shot a dirty look at the Phantasm of Gensokyo. In her arms, Darius began to stir again. "Wha…? Where am I?"

"Oh, you're awake." Byakuren smiled down on him. "Don't you remember? You fought that oni and got him to show us where Yuugi-san was."

"Oh yeah…" Darius looked blearily up at the monk. Lowering his voice, he whispered "You realize Yukari's going to make an innuendo about us if you don't let me up soon? We're in a rather suggestive position."

Byakuren realized that she was in fact holding Darius in _quite_ a position. Not that she'd meant to, of course, because that'd be silly, right?

… Right?

"Silly little Dari-chan," cooed Yukari. "You know you're not fooling anyone!"

"Yukari, I am going to kill you!" Leaping up, Darius drew his revolver, the chamber clicking eagerly as Alexa focused her attention on Yukari in the gunslinger's dream world. But something drew her attention.

Specifically, a certain, love-coloured something.

_Darius-sama, duck!_ Without hesitating, Darius rolled to the ground as a thin laser pierced where his head was moments ago, instead blasting Yukari off her gap-chair.

"Oh, you guys!" Swooping down past them too fast to be seen, a black-white blur zipped past. "You didn't think I'd let you run off to go solve an incident without me, did you, da ze?"

Whipping about in a full one-eighty, the black-white magician jumped off her broom in mid-air, letting the momentum of her broomstick slam it into the recovering Yukari's gut, making her drop Reimu as its rider skidded to a stop less than ten feet away from the others.

Mini-Hakkero primed and ready to fire, Marisa Kirisame grinned at them cockily as she let loose.

_"Magicannon – Final Spark!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

**Things are heating up now! What, you expected Marisa to ****_not_**** feature at least somewhere in this arc? Come on now!**


	12. Of Love and Hate

**Ready yourselves up for Stage 4, people! Before you read, now would be a good time to pull up dBu's remix of Marisa's GFW Theme: Magus Night! Prepare yourself, and don't look into the operational end of the Mini-Hakkero!**

**In other news, we have surpassed the 40 000 word mark! Yay me!**

**– TOUHOU –**

Marisa narrowed her eyes as she aimed the Mini-Hakkero, already fueling it with the love magic needed. Pointing the small reactor at the particular person she didn't like in the group, she unleashed her annihilation of love.

_"Magicannon – Final Spark!"_

"SCATTER!" Cirno barked at the others, though the order was unnecessary, considering most people would never dare to try and stare down a Final Spark. Flitting out of the way just in time, she hissed in pain as part of her wings melted off as she barely grazed it. Forming an icicle sword, she leapt at the witch. _"Underworld Sign – Sword of Hades!"_

Marisa smiled arrogantly as the massive sword exploded from Cirno's regular sword and arced down towards her. Reaching behind her, the witch's eyes lit up as she tossed the bomb at the seraph. _"Magic Waste – Deep Ecological Bomb!"_

Unable to stop her swing in time, Cirno cursed as the explosion rang out, blasting her into the ground. Shaking off the dirt, she looked up just in time to see Marisa winding up for another attack. _"Black Magic – Event Hori–" _

_"Black Hole – Unbreakable Grip on Reality!"_ Karin leapt in front of the seraph, spell card in hand. Flinging out her empty hand and snapping it open, a singularity formed in her palm, every bullet of danmaku that approached instead being sucked into the ravenous void, the light itself twisting and warping around it. Marisa held onto her hat to keep it from being eaten as well. _This_ was what Yukari meant when she said Yuyuko had a black hole for a stomach!?

… Actually, considering the things that ghost ate, it wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Whoa! I'm not taking part in _that_, ze!" Marisa turned tail and ran.

Canceling her spell card, Karin pulled Cirno to her feet and leapt after the black-white witch. The Seraph of Ice looked exceptionally angry as she flew after the magician. "Get back here, you stealer of precious things!"

Yukari pulled the still-unconscious Reimu onto her back and jumped into a gap, sinking out of sight. She called out to the last remaining team, "Don't worry, I'll just cut off Marisa! I'm not going to do anything with Reimu! _Yet._"

Byakuren sighed. "That Yukari…"

Darius pointedly ignored her. Instead watching the three girls begin their aerial dogfight, he murmured to Alexa, "Is the spell card ready?"

_As ready as it'll ever be,_ came the response. Alexa's voice began to grow worried. _The problem is I couldn't test it in your dream world, so I don't know if there'll be any side effects until we actually cast it._

"Alright then." The new spell ejected from the chamber in the revolver's side. Darius grabbed it and held it up to the air. _"Adjudicator – Commissar of the Noble Skies!"_

Two massive wings of light and darkness erupted from his back. One angelic feathered wing, made with layer upon layer of danmaku, and one demonic bat wing, formed from an extremely dense single layer. Flapping his wings experimentally, the gunslinger gestured to Byakuren. "Hurry up! They're getting away!"

Coming out of her shock at seeing him suddenly sprout wings and fly, the monk nodded. "Let's go!"

**– TOUHOU –**

_"Graviton Sign – Polaris Crush!"_

_Fwoom!_

"Glad that didn't hit me, ze…" Marisa straightened her witch's hat as she looked at where the cave walls had sunk in from the extreme pressure applied on them. She turned back to her opponent. "So, how've you been doing, baka?"

"Enough baka jokes, Marisa," Cirno said coldly as her sword clashed with the magician's broomstick. That thing was _damn_ strong to withstand this amount of force. The seraph flapped her wings, icicle danmaku flying from them and forcing Marisa into a retreat – exactly what Cirno needed. _"Freeze Sign – Perfect Freeze!"_

The many-coloured danmaku shot forth from Cirno's palms, scattering about the air as Marisa weaved in and out. As one, every bullet in the air froze and began moving again in a circular pattern.

"Ha! Is that all you got?" Marisa barked as she strafed around Cirno, standing on her broom in perfect balance. She stuck out her tongue and chanted, "Baka, baka! Baka, baka! Baka, Baka!"

"Welcome to the trap, Marisa." Cirno sneered as she melted into a puddle of cold water. Instantly reforming on the ground, she yelled at Karin. "_Now!_"

"Gotcha, Cirno-nee!" Karin felt the force of Earth's gravity give way to her own power. _"Supernova – Collapsing Star!"_

Again, the singularity formed behind her, absorbing all of Cirno's danmaku. Flinging it forward, Marisa barely got out of the way of the black hole, narrowly avoiding being sucked into the death trap. Her Mini-Hakkero, however, was not so lucky.

Marisa watched time slow down as the reactor slipped free of her grasp and fall into the black hole, which promptly exploded under Karin's command, scattering Cirno's danmaku everywhere. The Mini-Hakkero was sent flying by the force, the magically reinforced reactor spiraling away into the darkness of the cave. Marisa turned to Karin, who was preparing another black hole, Cirno generating danmaku at her side. _"YOU…!"_

Tossing aside her broom, Marisa ripped off her witch hat and reached into its depths, drawing a spell card and crumpling up the hat in one hand. She wouldn't need her Mini-Hakkero to fuel this one – not a spell that was powered by the complete antithesis of love. The black-white magician glared down at Karin and Cirno as her hands were suffused with an eerie red-black glow.

_"Drown the World – __**Midnight Spark.**__"_

Her former master's trump card activating, Marisa let loose with a wild storm of energy, the resulting laser taking up the entire cave as it streaked out at the speed of sound. Her eyes blazing with fury, Marisa felt the backlash sending tendrils of runoff magic flying past her, smashing apart the domed ceiling above the Former Hell Capital. The enhanced version of the Evil Spirit Mima's already disgustingly overpowered Spark Series laser, it carved a trench countless thousand feet deep under Former Hell, a rush of magma bursting out as Marisa smashed apart the mantle of the Earth itself, pumping more and more energy into it until she could no longer support it. Her scalded hands falling uselessly to her sides, Marisa fell to the ground, barely even standing.

"Fuck you, ze…" Marisa spat as she stared down the colossal pit she'd formed. Far, _far_ below her, she could see the faint glow of magma as it bubbled up. Taking exactly one step back, Marisa watched as the geyser of magma spouted into the air, raining fiery death all around her. A single drop landed by her boot, which she promptly ground into the earth. The witch smiled ruefully. "Mima-sama would've been proud of that if she were here to see it."

Some might call it overkill. Marisa tended to stuff her Mini-Hakkero down their throats and ask them if they still thought it was overkill. With a crumbling noise, said Mini-Hakkero had been dislodged by Marisa's ferocious attack, plummeting from the ceiling and landing softly in Marisa's hand. She stared at it for a moment before scoffing and pocketing it, flexing her hand as she felt the dark energy her master had always used arcing through them. "Damn, Mima-sama… You always told me hate was a better fuel than love. Guess I should've listened, da ze."

Darius and Byakuren flew down to where they'd last seen the witch, and promptly plummeted to the ground in shock, having seen Marisa unleash her Midnight Spark. Byakuren was at a complete loss for words, whereas Darius decided to throw caution to the winds and declare what they were both screaming silently in their heads.

"Holy shit."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Foreign contaminant detected! Immediate extermination of contaminant required!"

"Do you even know what that means?" Cirno rolled her eyes as she hefted Karin onto her back. Being a fairy had its perks, one of which was resurrecting after death, and her recent power boost effectively revived her instantly, hence the reason she'd chosen to take Marisa's improved Spark attack head-on and shield Karin in the process. While it was enough to prevent fatal injury to the gravity manipulator, it would probably leave her unconscious for at least another hour, and at most a whole day. As for who she was talking to…

Well, let's just say that Utsuho's fusion reactor is really, _really_ big.

The ditzy hell raven scratched her head as she thought about Cirno's words. "No… but Satori-sama told me to say it if any strangers came down here and to chase them off. So; foreign contaminant detected! Immediate extermination of conta–"

"I'll give you a pack of boiled eggs if you don't."

"Ooh! Eggs? Where?" Cirno rolled her eyes at the nuclear girl as she flew about her fusion reactor, struggling futilely to find hidden eggs that didn't exist. "I want eggs!"

"If you let us go, I promise I'll come back with a full basket of eggs for you in a week."

"Okay!" Utsuho chirped as she flew off.

Cirno shook her head. Now that she actually understood exactly _how_ much of Utsuho's brain capacity had been taken up by nuclear physics (she understands _nuclear physics_ but doesn't understand metaphors?), it made sense why people called her a sixball…

Hefting the unconscious Karin over her shoulder, Cirno flapped her wings, flying up to the surface of the reactor while taking care to avoid the rain of tiny suns from above.

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren couldn't even be bothered to point out Darius' swearing. "Marisa… did… all of that…?"

The gunslinger gulped. "I think so…"

The black-white magician turned, a red glint shining in her only visible eye. "… You wanna be next, ze?"

Marisa raised a hand and let it crackle away with the starts of another Spark attack. "You get five seconds to say your last words."

"Now what?" Darius whispered to Byakuren.

"I don't think any of our magic could hold up against Mima-sama's magic series," Byakuren whispered back.

"Lexa, any ideas?" Darius murmured to his revolver.

_Nothing. Just pray that Marisa holds back just enough to keep us alive._

"We're screwed."

"I've just given up on your language, Darius."

"Sorry…"

"Done yet?" Marisa raised an eyebrow. "If you are, good. If you're not, I don't care, ze."

Raising her hand a little higher, she opened her clenched fist, releasing the contained spell. _"Bewitched Weapon – Dark Spark."_

_"Solar Sign – Master Spark."_

A golden beam of light clashed with a red beam of light, the two lasers cancelling each other out. Marisa turned around fully in shock as Yuuka Kazami slowly fluttered to the ground, closing her parasol. "Hello, thief. I'd been wondering if you'd even last long enough for me to gut you personally."

"Put a lid on it, Kazami," snarled Marisa. "You're not even a part of this fight, da ze!"

"Oh, I'm not?" Yuuka exclaimed in mock surprise. "How terribly rude of me! _Flower Sign – Gensokyan Blossoms."_

Waves and waves of danmaku emanated from the flower youkai in the shape of countless petals and flowers. Sneering, Marisa tore through it all with a swipe of her hand. "You call that a spell card!?" The witch taunted her. "I've _crapped_ spells stronger than that! _Daemon Sign – Nightfall Spark."_

"It doesn't matter if you're using any of Mima's Sparks." Yuuka opened her parasol and deflected the laser with ease. "You're merely copying her copy. It cannot surpass _my_ Sparks. _Flower Sign – Giga Spark!"_

The colossal laser blasted forth from the tip of Yuuka's parasol. Marisa held her hands out in front of her, crackling with energy once more. One hand gripped the Mini-Hakkero, the other glowing with sheer energy. **_"Kirisame Arcanum – Magus Night!"_**

Simultaneously, a Final Master Spark and a Nightfall Spark blasted from each of her hands, gold and red whipping around each other and crashing into Yuuka's Giga Spark, easily overwhelming it. Eyes widening, Yuuka drove her parasol into the ground and used it as leverage to swing her way to safety, both Sparks blasting past her at incredible speed.

Marisa slammed her hands into the ground, a pillar of danmaku exploding from her point of contact and racing towards Yuuka, who sidestepped it. As she brought her parasol to bear on the magician, Marisa had already closed the gap between them, her broomstick in hand once more, the Mini-Hakkero jammed into it and spouting streams of danmaku as Marisa slammed it across Yuuka's face with such force as to send her spiraling into the nearest wall, burying her under a pile of rocks.

Not even giving the flower youkai a chance to recover, Marisa tore out her Mini-Hakkero again and, completely ignoring the way it was originally configured, fueled it as if she were empowering a Midnight Spark. The Mini-Hakkero reacted immediately, shaking uncontrollably in her hands and steaming as red light seeped from its cracks. Quickly pointing the reactor at Yuuka, Marisa blasted a fused Spark formed from both a Master Spark and Dark Spark, the raging storm of love and hate instantly blasting Yuuka high into the air. Leaping back into the air after her, Marisa grabbed her broom again and brought it down in an overhead blow that could've split rock, catapulting Yuuka back down to earth before she even had a chance to recover.

_Pichuun~_

The almost chirp-like sound signified Yuuka's defeat as Marisa touched down, limping slightly. Barely sparing the astounded Myouren Team a glance, she immediately grabbed her broom and jumped down into the pit her initial Midnight Spark had made.

Rushing to Yuuka's side, Byakuren leaned down and ran a hand across Yuuka's temple. Sighing with relief, she said, "Yuuka-san's alright… just unconscious. Marisa's gotten so much stronger…"

Darius nodded grimly. He hadn't seen much of the precious thing thief, but even he could tell that the witch was far, _far_ stronger than she should've ever been…

"Oh, dear. This won't do at all." With a popping sound, Yukari poked her head out of a rather small gap and looked at the two. "On one hand, we've got our Stage 4 _and_ Stage 5 miniboss down there. On the other hand, we've got our Stage 5 and 6 bosses up here. Whatever shall we do?"

"What are you talking about?" Byakuren raised an eyebrow.

"Where were you the last twenty minutes!? You were supposed to be helping us defeat Marisa!" Darius pointed Alexa into her face.

"Whoops, my bad~" Yukari giggled. "I just got a little distracted with Reimu-chan is all~"

"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder how you two ever solved the Imperishable Night incident," Byakuren sighed.

"So, our options come down to this." Darius hummed thoughtfully. "One of us has to go down and face Marisa. The other has to face Rinnosuke _and_ his stage 5 boss. Cirno and Karin are missing, and Yuuka's… incapacitated. What to do…?"

"Isn't it obvious? You two chase after Marisa, because Reimu probably wouldn't have the will to beat down her best friend _again_, and you two probably aren't armed for the stage 5 boss. So Reimu and I will fight the stage 5 boss and stall Rinnosuke while you catch Marisa and come to us." Darius and Byakuren stared at the gap youkai in shock. "What? Just because I act stupid a lot doesn't mean I _am_ stupid."

"The scary part is that plan would probably work."

"Oh, get going."

As Yukari sank back into her gap, Byakuren frowned slightly. "Something's not right with Marisa-san. There's something off about the way she fought."

"What do you mean?" Darius looked at the monk as they began carefully descending the steep slope.

"Marisa is usually never that aggressive. It's possible something is manipulating her, or even playing us all…" Byakuren looked him full in the eyes. "Darius, we have another incident."

**– TOUHOU –**

**Yo dawg, I heard you like incidents, so I put an incident in your incident, so you can solve it while you solve it.**

**IN(CIDENT)CEPTION**

**But seriously, I'll be trying on a new 'divergence path' for a change. Next 2 chapters will be based around the Border and Myouren Teams' halves of this double incident!**

**In other news, I know that Mima's infamous Twilight Spark is probably one of the most hands-down broken powers in existence. But really...**

**Twilight. Spark.**

**Vampire Pony?**

**I'm sorry, I just couldn't settle with it (no offense to you, kinder half of the brony fandom). Also, I like breaking down the rules of logic and trampling them into the ground.**

**More recently, I happened to go down with a very nasty case of the flu (on Friday 13... the irony is delicious), so the next chapters may be delayed. Sorry!**


	13. Playing Mind Games

**I'm sorry for having taken such an extra-long time to post this. Nonetheless, it's out now, and I think my cold's clearing up! But sheesh, catching a cold in September? I actually feel a little embarrassed...**

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius and Byakuren finally emerged from the seemingly bottomless 'cave' formed by Marisa's Midnight Spark after half an hour. Having tired of walking the whole way, the gunslinger simply forced out a chunk of rock, whittled it down into a flat bowl shape and rode it like a snowboard the whole way. Twisting his MacGyver'd snowboard and bringing it to a halt, Darius winced as a wave of heat blasted out from mere feet below him, the magma hissing and bubbling up at him threateningly as it flowed by. Damn, those movies were dead wrong about exactly how hot lava was – he was at least thirty feet above it and it still felt like his clothes were melting off his back!

He got off his rock-board and propped it against the wall, watching as Byakuren tripped over her own board and nearly fell into the magma river beneath them. A few pebbles tumbled over the edge as the monk scrabbled back to her feet, a fair distance away from the seething lake of lava deep below. Panting for breath, she gasped, "Is that what they do in the outside world for _fun?_"

"It's usually done on a snowy mountain, but yeah." Thankfully, Darius was at least fairly proficient in snowboarding, so the trip down wasn't too bad.

"Crazy…" Byakuren and Darius both looked around as they got their bearings. It seemed Marisa's Midnight Spark was more than enough to reach through the bedrock of the Earth's crust, only giving way to the mantle itself – the infinite river of fire below them. Several rocky outcroppings kept the two of them from plummeting to a horrible searing death, thankfully. Some jutted out from the walls of the natural cave at bizarre angles, warped and twisted over millions of years of pressure and heat to form an elaborate labyrinth of smooth, glassy stone with rivulets of magma trickling down a quite significant number of them. It was dense enough to inhibit any attempts at flying severely, but not enough to make regular navigation impossible. "Now, where could a magician have hidden in a place like this?"

"Wherever she is, she's likely a ways off from here." Darius pulled himself up onto a rock spire that extended from one end of the cave to the other at a forty-five degree angle, taking care to remained balance on the surface of it. "We'd best get moving."

"Darius, watch out!" Byakuren leapt forward, seizing the gunslinger by the collar and using her momentum to propel them both to the next platform, a geyser of magma exploding from under them and melting away the toughened rock easily. Panting, Byakuren watched the geyser bubble away. "Marisa's smarter than she let on…"

"Traps?" Darius snatched up a nearby pebble and tossed it at another outcrop. As soon as it touched down, a spurt of lava burst out from the wall, sweeping away the pebble into the endless lake beneath it. "Hey, Byakuren, can't we just blast our way through all these rocks?" He tapped a knuckle against one. It was solid, certainly, but if the clinking was any indicator, it was also quite brittle. "It can't be that difficult."

_Bad idea, Darius-sama. I'm picking up magic signatures off of _everything_ in this area. Trying to force your way through would likely kill us all._ Alexa reported.

Next to them, Byakuren blinked. "Who said that?"

_I did. The name's Alexa; nice to meet you, Byakuren-san._

"That's Lexa. She's my gun that somehow came to life…"

"How is this even possible?" Byakuren drew the revolver and examined it from every angle. "The kappa would kill to get their hands on this!"

"Blame Yukari for fooling around again."

_Well, actually…_ Alexa hesitated.

"What?"

_No; it's nothing. Forget it._

Byakuren tried to protest. "But you just–"

_Drop it._

"She's not going to respond," sighed Darius. Taking back the revolver, he shot a fast-moving bolt of white danmaku at his next intended platform. When nothing responded, he hopped to and fro amongst the many thin layered rock branches that crisscrossed across the cave, landing safely on the next rock as a quick burst of magma tried to melt his path. "Geez, that witch is getting serious if she sets up traps like these. Doesn't she just usually fight head-on all the time?"

"Usually." Byakuren jumped back and forth with expert skill, easily dancing out of the way of every fountain of lava that tried to blast her away. Landing next to the gunslinger, she continued. "The only other time I'd seen anything like this was in Makai, but…"

"But what?"

Byakuren narrowed her eyes as she ran a hand along the smooth surface of the rocks. "No; it's impossible. There's no way Marisa could've gotten access to _her_, unless – unless _Mima!_" She slapped a hand against her forehead in realization. "Darius, do you know who Mima is?"

"Evil Spirit who usually lives under the Hakurei Shrine under lock and key? Marisa's former mentor?" Darius nodded. "I've heard of her in passing."

"It all makes sense! Marisa must've caught wind of it and tried to release her." Byakuren wrung her hands as she thought. "Obviously, Mima-san's not freed yet, or we'd know by now. But Marisa must've at least weakened the seal to communicate with her, and she's plenty powerful enough to shatter Reimu-san's seals if she tried hard enough. We need to get back to the surface!"

As the magician tried to fly off, a hand gripped her wrist and pulled it back down. "Byakuren, you realize Marisa's still on the loose, right?" Darius had gotten serious. "Besides, if Mima's really that powerful, I'd bet only Reimu could stop her. Plus, Rinnosuke's still running rampant. What do you think we should do?"

The monk hesitated. "I… alright. We'll stay here to calm down Marisa and get whatever happened to Rinnosuke reverted. But what about Mima?"

"We solve this incident as quickly as possible and tell Reimu as soon as we find her." Darius climbed over another spike of rock and slipped around a near-vertical spire of stone carefully before leaping to another 'safe' rock. Ten minutes passed in silence, broken only by the periodic gouts of lava and the bubbling magma deep below them. As Darius leapt to the other end of the horrendously long cave, he raised an eyebrow at the reinforced steel double-doors that impeded their progress. "Radioactive symbols? What…?"

"We're at Utsuho's nuclear fusion reactor, I think." Byakuren landed softly next to Darius. Catching the gunslinger's astounded look, she shrugged. "It was a Moriya Shrine conspiracy."

"I'm pretty sure that template is forbidden…" Darius raised a hand to knock, the sound echoing through the spacious cavern. From the other side of the door, a pneumatic hissing sound was heard, along with several clicks and the hum of computers. With a final rasping click, the doors disengaged and opened, revealing…

"Ah, good. I was wondering if you'd ever arrive." Satori Komeiji nodded to the duo, Utsuho at her side, playing with a ball of nuclear energy. The eye floating above her heart blinked. She smiled ever so slightly as she raised a plate with small cups and a teapot on it. "Tea?"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Thank you for the tea, Satori-san." Byakuren smiled as she placed her teacup back down. Having made sure to keep her hell raven from incinerating the two of them, the mind reader had invited them in and brought them to the top floor of the reactor, where they watched the nuclear raven flit about under the reinforced glass as she maintained the subterranean sun. The lengthy elevator trip up had been mostly silent, save for Satori, who simply answered every mental question aimed at her. "But–"

"I haven't seen the witch around here." Satori's eyes were almost sleepy as she watched the reactor pulse below her, much like a certain asthmatic squishy wizard. "Knowing her, Marisa is likely raiding my bookshelves right now. And yes, Darius-san, I also realize that having a glass floor means that people can see my panties, but Okuu isn't interested in that. Weirdo." Darius blushed a little and muttered an apology. "No problem. Yes, I called you Darius-san because I can tell how much you… dislike your surname. No, I will not attempt to hold that against you. No, I do not blackmail. Or play this 'Twenty Questions' game you speak of. However, I would be very good at both if I so desired."

Byakuren opened her mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off by Satori. "I do realize you're here on a mission. No, I'm not trying to stall you. That'd be silly. I cut people off because I already know what they plan to say, and because it's humorous to watch their reactions. We are in fact back on the main floor of Chireiden. Darius-san, the reason the reactor travels down so deep is because the magma is perfect for Okuu's runoff energy. I know that there's no reason to keep all this fancy technological equipment around, considering my hell raven can maintain it all much more easily. However, the kappa installed it anyways so that she could have the freedom to leave the reactor without worrying about burning down all of Gensokyo. Yes, Cirno-san and Muyoka-san passed through earlier. They said they were looking for Morichika. No, I have not taken a single breath during this one-sided conversation. I should probably do that."

Taking advantage of Satori's need for air, Darius looked at Byakuren. "Is her power always on?"

"She can't turn it off, no matter how much she wants to." Byakuren looked at the mind reader with a strange look in her eyes.

"Please, I don't need pity." Satori got up and gestured for them to follow her. "Now, if you hurry, you might be able to cut off Marisa before she leaves Chireiden. I'm afraid I cannot help you, as I have other matters to attend to. Yes, I will make a note to tell Hakurei-san about Mima-san's return. I realize I am being quite liberal with my honorifics. I simply don't care. Yes, you may come back again. No, I do not gamble, and especially not strip poker. I'd win every time. Kindly keep those thoughts of your head, Darius-san. Pervert."

"Darius, what were you thinking about?" Byakuren seethed, a vajra sparking to life in her hands.

"I-I was just thinking of what it'd be like if Satori ever gambled, and I just thought it'd be funny if she… played… help."

"Hijiri-san, please put away the vajra." Satori opened the main doors of her mansion. "Wait out here for Marisa to come by, and try to keep my books intact while you do it. No, I will not face Marisa myself because she is too strong for me to defeat. No, I am not using you for my dirty work. This simply ends well for all parties involved – except Marisa, I suppose. Thank you, Darius-san. Hijiri-san." As she closed the doors behind her, Satori poked her head out one last time. "Two more things, Darius-san. One, stop calling me 'the most moe thing you've ever seen' in your head, and two, if you check your coat, you'll find a few incenses you should light when you sleep to keep your more… _lucid_ dreams at bay. Creep. Think of it as a favour in exchange for getting my books back. No, I am not Patchouli. No, they will not interfere with your dream world lessons. Yes, I know all about that and then some. Also, you'll probably want to make the first move; you know what I'm talking about. Farewell."

She closed the door behind her and locked it, wandering off. Outside Chireiden, Byakuren frowned at Darius. "What was she talking about?"

Darius coughed and turned away. "N-nothing important…"

**– TOUHOU –**

They hid behind one of the many colossal pillars outside of Chireiden as they waited for Marisa to come out. For half an hour, nothing happened, so eventually they tired of watching the door so intently and instead began to simply look around them. For a place called the Former Hell of Blazing Fires, it was certainly a lot less fire-and-brimstone-hell and a lot more giant-underground-cave-that-goes-on-forever-hell. Granted, there was still just enough magma trickling down the sides of the caves in tiny waterfalls to light up the area by a sufficient amount.

A small creaking sound warned them to look back at the doors. Sure enough, one of the doors slid open just enough for a certain suspiciously charred black-white to slip out. A large black sack was thrown over shoulder, obviously filled to the brim with whatever Marisa had seen fit to 'borrow'. Closing the door silently, she began to sneak away quietly. "So many pets to Spark, so little time…"

"Going somewhere?" Darius slid down the side of the pillar effortlessly and landed less than four feet away from Marisa. Instantly, both sides had their respective hand cannons raised, Darius with his revolver, Marisa with her reactor.

"Sorry, not in the mood to play, ze." Marisa immediately cut to the chase. "I have places to go, so I'll just have to blast you now. _Love Sign – Master Spark!"_

_"Distortion Sign – Sliding Scale of Balance!"_

As the love-coloured magic blasted out from the Mini-Hakkero, Darius pointed his living weapon carefully at the rather ironic yin-yang sigil in the middle of the reactor and fired. At first, it seemed nothing had happened, but the Mini-Hakkero suddenly smoked and sparked in Marisa's hands, forcing her to drop it with a curse as it burnt her hands, automatically canceling her Master Spark as she did. It dropped to the floor, clattering as it rolled away. Diving under the gunslinger's volley of danmaku, Marisa hit the ground rolling and seized up the reactor, pointing it at him once again. _"Love Sign – Master Spark!"_

Once again the Mini-Hakkero sparked in her hands, but refused to fire at all. Pocketing the reactor as she dodged another bullet, Marisa swung out, danmaku trailing her movement. "What the hell did you do to my Mini-Hakkero, da ze!?"

"Nothing much." Darius zipped around the danmaku, taking care to not get cocky and try grazing. "I just played around a little with something a friend taught me. I hope you like not having your Spark attacks for a while!"

"You…!" Marisa drew a spell card. "I have moves other than Master Spark, you know! _Stellar Sign – Andromeda Spiral!"_

Marisa flew into the air as several massive star danmaku generated from the ground, floating slowly upwards at varying paces as Darius did a wild dance to avoid being impaled in the rising stars. The witch flew a mere foot away from him, danmaku instantly forming in her wake and scattering outwards. Beginning to understand the pattern, the gunslinger ducked low under the new wave of smaller stars and backed away as Marisa came around for another pass. Hovering in her original position, Marisa grinned. "Let's see how you like _this_, ze!"

All of the danmaku in the air began to swirl around her as four thin lasers shot from her hands, trapping Darius between them and restricting his movement as the danmaku swept in from both sides and from Marisa herself, who was firing off streams of star danmaku in elaborate swirls. In the back of his mind, Darius thought of how much it looked like the spell cards of a certain nosebleed-inducing nekomata and a formerly-unintelligent ice fairy. Clearly, Marisa stole everything, from books to precious things to spell cards…

The lasers dissipated as Marisa shot off again, trying to ram Darius as the star field faded, more danmaku bubbling up from the ground in its place. Cursing as a stray bullet tore up his precious coat, Darius called out to Byakuren. "Byakuren! A little help here?"

Nothing but silence answered him.

"… Byakuren?"

"You might want to pay more attention to what you're currently doing," Marisa hissed in his ear a split-second before she slammed her broom into his back and forced him to eat dirt.

Spitting it out and wiping his face, Darius glared at the laughing witch. "Marisa, I'm gonna make you pay for that!"

"Good luck!" The black-white magician turned and sped off as the danmaku in the air began to spin dizzyingly once again.

_"Get back here!"_ Scrambling over the star danmaku, Darius ran after the retreating witch. _"Adjudicator – Commissar of the Noble Skies!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

"Yukari?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you do me a favour and tell me to never follow your plans ever again?"

"I don't know about that favour, but I'd gladly do you~"

"Your pick-up lines are terrible." Reimu sighed as she stared at their opponent.

"No, Hakurei-san, I am not here to fight you. I am here to deliver a message from Hijiri-san and Darius-san. Yes, they're alive. They're busy fighting off that kleptomaniacal witch." Satori rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not lying. Why would I? Yes, I can read Yakumo's mind; I just choose to tune her out. I don't read her mind because the things she thinks up are horrifically scarring at best and mind-destroying at worst. This shouldn't surprise you."

"Well, we sort of need a scapegoat stage 5 boss, so…" Yukari made a small gesture with her hands.

Satori sighed. "Again with this whole 'stage rules' thing? Well, considering you'd just waste more time trying to find a different person to fill in the slot, fine. I did not come here with any intention of starting a fight, Hakurei-san. I will tell you the message they wanted me to give you afterwards. _Yakumo Recollection – Flying Glow Worm's Nest."_

Yukari pouted as the laser danmaku formed behind Satori. "Get moving, Reimu-chan. _Fantasy Nest – Nest of Fireflies."_

Reimu nodded and dived out of the way as the identical spell cards clashed, each bullet smashing into its opposite and experiencing mutual annihilation. Satori frowned as a stray amulet brushed past her arm. It looked like she'd need to move right… about…

_Now._

Reimu tripped as Satori moved deceptively quickly, kicking the miko's legs out from under her and dodging around the charms that flew from her hands as she fell. Both youkai cancelled their spell cards, Satori having done so to regain mobility, Yukari having done so to avoid getting Reimu caught in the crossfire. Feeling the shrine maiden's thoughts as she got back up, the mind reader easily leaned back, avoiding both of Reimu's jabs with her gohei. A spell card forming in her hands after picking through the miko's memories at leisure, Satori turned–

_SLAM!_

And was sent hurtling back as a parasol smashed into her face. Damn it all! Satori remembered she had conditioned herself to be incapable of hearing the gap youkai's thoughts. Perhaps she shouldn't have done that, but no matter.

Yukari flicked the dirt off her trusty parasol and tossed it back into a gap. "So, you still can't read my mind?"

"I choose not to whenever I have the option." Satori dusted herself off as she got up, noting the faint indent in the cave wall. She felt the spike of Reimu's thoughts and jumped to the side, avoiding the hailstorm of charms that would've otherwise battered her even deeper into the rocks. Drawing the spell card again, Satori said, _"Hakurei Recollection – Fantasy Seal."_

Generating the five dense orbs of danmaku, Satori swept out an extra set of danmaku rings for good measure and tossed everything at the recovering miko. She watched as the trained shrine maiden slipped through every available gap in her assault and closed the distance between them. In the back of her mind, Satori idly noted that Yukari had disappeared again – no doubt to launch a surprise attack. Sweeping a new tentacle out of her 'heart', Satori hardened it into a spike the same way her sister had once done and blocked Reimu's bid for melee combat with it. "Did you already forget you haven't broken my spell card yet?"

"Not at all." Reimu slammed a foot into the ground and jumped over Satori's head, twisting out of the way of another of the mind reader's spikes and weaving in and out of the multicolored danmaku. Too late, Satori realized the hidden intent in Reimu's plan and was struck with her own barrage, bouncing out of the smoke. Getting back to her feet, Satori took a step back to avoid Reimu's downwards assault with her gohei. Reading every preparation for assault accurately and efficiently, Satori bounced out of the way of every attempt to strike her.

A hand lashed out to arrest the miko's next blow, twisting it to the side and jabbing Reimu's weapon into the dirt. Moving quickly, Satori used her youkai strength to slam an elbow into Reimu's gut with incredible force, folding the miko as she instinctively reeled. Narrowing her eyes, the mind reader wrapped the same arm around Reimu's legs and pulled, bringing the shrine maiden down to the ground once more. Spell card in hand, she felt a faint reverberation behind her–

_Clang!_

Satori carved a trench in the earth as she arrested her momentum, recovering from Yukari's surprise attack. Lowering her crossed arms, Satori frowned. If she'd been half a second slower, she'd likely be defeated by now…

_"Magic Eye – Laplace's Demon!"_

Hundreds of eyes formed around Yukari and Satori, gazing down at the latter with an unblinking stare. Shrugging off the unsettling nature of the eyes, Satori recognized the spell card's design quickly – wait for Yukari to bring her down and immediately summon a hailstorm of danmaku to increase the effectiveness. Before Satori could make another move, however, Yukari summoned yet another spell card.

_"Shikigami – Cheeeeeeen~!"_

Reaching into another gap, Yukari grabbed the nekomata by the collar and tossed her at Satori, wrapped in a layer of danmaku. Satori wondered about Chen's state of mind if she thought being thrown around by her master's master was fun…

"Spacing out~?" Yukari teased Satori. Turning around again, Satori produced another set of spikes and shot them out to block Yukari's attacks. "You know, that's not a good thing to do in battle; it might _cost you~_"

Satori narrowed her eyes. What did she mean by…?

As Chen bounced back around and slammed her face-first into the ground, she groaned to herself. Typical gap hag, pulling tricks like that; distracting her opponent, then distracting them from the distraction, _then_ letting the distraction come back around when they were distracted…

Yukari was a strange, _strange_ youkai.

Sure enough, as soon as Satori began to get back up, the Eyes of Laplace blinked as one and fired, grinding her back into the earth again and fading away into their respective gaps. For several seconds, Satori stayed down as she felt Reimu approach, wondering if the mind reader was alright. "I appreciate your concern, but worry a bit about yourself, Hakurei-san."

Not even getting up from the ground, Satori lunged for Yukari, who was caught off guard by the sudden attack. Pulling the gap youkai to the ground, Satori got up and swung Yukari in front of her to block Reimu's flurry of amulets. "_Ow!_ Reimu-chan, watch it~"

"Sorry!" Reimu gasped. Satori seized her moment of distraction and tossed the youkai at her, sending both to the ground in a messy heap. She could hear the muffled voice of Yukari trying to flirt with Reimu again. Didn't she ever give up…?

Satori stepped back as they got to their feet again, silently drawing another spell card as Reimu sprang up, blushing furiously. "N-no! Definitely not in front of _her!_ There's a reason it's called shrine _maiden!_ M-A-I-D-E-N!"

"You're no fun…" Yukari faked a sad sniffle.

"Are you two quite done?" Satori raised an eyebrow. Sighing, the miko and youkai nodded. "Thank you. _Kirisame Recollection – Master Spark."_

"Oh, _fu–"_ Yukari generated a large gap in front of them to absorb the fabricated Spark attack. As soon as it faded, she closed off the new gap, Yukari's eyes widening as she realized there was nothing but rock. But that meant Satori was…!

_"Scarlet Recollection – Spear the Gungnir."_

Right on cue, a massive beam of light slammed into Yukari's back and sent her head-over-heels through the air, embedding her into the ceiling. As she began to fall, Satori skated under her, skidding to a halt with another replicated Gungnir in hand. Throwing it straight up, Satori aimed it beautifully, bouncing Yukari straight off the roof and slamming her to the ground so hard she bounced back into the air. Leaping over to the winded Yukari, Satori dropped her heel onto her back hard enough to leave a crater in the ground on the gap youkai's impact. Turning back to Reimu, Satori flinched as she realized exactly what the miko had in her hands now.

_"Fantasy Heaven."_

Satori muttered one thing and one thing only in a quiet and subdued tone as Reimu stalked towards her menacingly. "I am surrounded by the dense and the tsundere…"

The next ten minutes were filled with screaming and maniacal laughter.

**– TOUHOU –**

As Reimu continued to mercilessly beat the downed satori, two blurs streaked overhead at high speed, the cave shaking slightly in the wake of their passage. One of the blurs resolved itself to be Marisa, stopping for an instant to lob one of her iconic bombs at the ceiling, collapsing part of the roof and sending a landslide crashing down on her pursuer. Slowing down, Darius flew under the first rocks and blasted his way through several more, making use of his danmaku wings to shoot them open. The gunslinger cursed as a boulder clipped one of his wings, sending him down several feet as he tried to remain airborne.

"Stop running, dammit!" Aiming his revolver carefully at the rocks that continued to fall, Darius gritted his teeth. _"Curse Sign – Acerbatus!"_

A skull-like miasma of dirty gold energy expanded from the muzzle, as wide as he was tall. It smashed apart every boulder in its path effortlessly, electricity crackling as it faded away. Seizing his opportunity, the gunslinger swept forward. Yelping in surprise, Marisa ducked, holding tight onto the bag tied to her broom as Darius tried to clothesline her with his wing.

"I'd stop running if you'd stop chasing, ze!" Untying the bag quickly, Marisa slung it over her back with one hand and used the other to drive her broomstick into his gut, jabbing him out of the air and sending him careening into the wall, a dust cloud tumbling out as he impacted. Hopping back on her broom, Marisa shot off. "I've had it with these crazy people! I'm out, da ze…"

Shaking himself off, Darius kicked aside a small rock and watched it tumble to the floor below him. His wings seemed to have faded away after he'd used them to shield himself from the worst of the impact. Note to self: reinforce wings later…

"What's this?" Carefully sliding down the steep incline, Darius landed on the floor again. Completely ignoring Reimu's attempts to twist Satori's arms backwards to the point of turning inside-out, he pulled loose the string tying up Marisa's infamous thieving sack and opened it. He plunged a hand into its cavernous depths and grabbed one of the heavier books and tossed it at the miko, who tumbled off the mind reader with a small cry.

Satori got to her feet, looking quite battered as she picked up the book Darius had thrown. She nodded in approval. "Thank you. It seems you've got my books back, and in quite good condition, too." She looked over the book she was currently holding, which had become rather dusty after being used as a projectile weapon. "Well, except this one. It's alright; at least I have the book and not that witch. No, neither of us is currently indebted to each other anymore. Yes, I let Reimu beat me. It was either that or taste a _fully powered_ Fantasy Heaven. I've never been the subject of one, no. I have seen what little remained of the last time, however. It was not pretty. My skirt is not ripped, so don't even finish that thought. If you must know, they're white. Pervert."

"Auuu~" Yukari stumbled woozily to her feet, a hand against her temple. "Wuz happen…?"

"Oh! Yukarin~" Reimu got up and ran over to the gap youkai's side, carefully lifting her up. Satori and Darius shared a knowing glance and a sweatdrop as they watched. "Are you okay?"

"So long as you're here~" Yukari teased the miko before leaning in and murmuring something else in her ear. The shrine maiden immediately blushed as Satori made a face at the thoughts she was forced to listen in on.

"Hakurei-san, please fantasize about what you two are going to do together elsewhere," the mind reader sighed.

Predictably, Reimu blushed an even deeper red and smacked both Yukari and Satori on the head. "What!? I-it's not like I like her or anything… idiot!"

"Stock lines, stock lines everywhere…" Satori rubbed her head. "I better get a good treat from the author when all this blows over…"

"What are you going on about?" Darius looked at her with a strange look on his face.

"Nothing, Darius-san. Don't worry about it."

"Alright, so now we've got our stage 5 boss down…" Yukari reclined on a gap as she thought to herself, ignoring the others once more. "I guess we just need to find Rinnosuke and kick him out, then. But who's the EX Boss…?" She came out of her reverie as a though occurred to her. "And now that I think about it, where'd Karin-chan go?"

"Oh yeah!" Darius snapped his fingers. "Byakuren disappeared a while back too!"

Satori's third eye glanced over at him as she spoke. "I don't know where she is, nor does Hakurei-san. I wouldn't trust Yukari further than I could throw her, and even that's pushing it. Knowing Hijiri-san, it's possible she–"

At that exact moment, the halls of Chireiden, far in the distance, lit up with an astounding gold and blue light. The entire mansion sank several feet into the ground under the enhanced forces of gravity as icicles flew out of the windows, a colossal iceberg smashing open the roof and crashing to the ground, shattering as it did. A storm of a lasers splintered the walls to bits as they lanced out, looking as if the mansion had been impaled on countless gold chains. Carrying on the underground wind, they could faintly hear a certain manly man's declarations of excessive ham in the distance and several other voices that sounded rather harassed.

"… Went to help Muyoka-san," Satori finished. She began to walk at a brisk pace. "Come on, we need to hurry or Morichika will destroy my mansion." Suddenly, she stopped and glared at Darius. "I refuse to fly because then you could take a peek at me. Creep."

"Wha – Okay, that time I didn't even think of that. You're just making this up as you go along!" Darius protested as he began to jog after her.

A smile played at the edges of her mouth. "I was starting to wonder if you'd ever figure it out. You know, I've already painted the picture of you being a creepy pervert to the readers, so my mission is accomplished here. Plus, you said 'that time', so they'll still think you're about as bad as Morichika. Ha."

_"YOOOOUUUUUUU!"_

"Good luck catching me, Darius-san." Satori floated barely an inch off the ground. "You know I can easily outrun or outfly you if the need arose."

"You wanna bet!? I'll _eviscerate_ you!"

"Oh, someone's been talking to Morichika." Satori flew off, chased by the screaming gunslinger.

Reimu sighed and pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. "Everyone is insane here…"

"Not yet, my precious miko~" Yukari purred into her ear. Lowering her voice to a throaty whisper, she murmured, "But I assure you, I can drive you _plenty_ insane tonight…"

"Y-Yukari…"

"Come with me." Without another word, the gap youkai gently picked up the miko around the waist and pulled her into the gap.

**– TOUHOU –**

As the four of them wandered away, a single doll poked its head out from behind a small pile of boxes. Checking to make sure that the coast was clear, it tottered out, wobbling slightly as it walked. Their maker had never been very proficient in the fine art of making things walk. Hopping to one of the craters in the ground, it sat down on poked the dirt with one hand. Nodding slightly, it gestured for someone to come over, the red ribbon on its head bobbing as it moved.

A crate opened, the doll inside looking around. Taking care not to squish itself, the doll climbed out and shut the box silently and flew over to its companion. It tugged at the thin cord tied around its neck like a scarf. The other doll nodded, but abruptly stopped and pointed behind it. Slowly, the hanged doll turned, just in case it was something terrible.

Yet another doll tilted its head questioningly, looking them over. The new doll seemed to be blonde, with a black dress similar to the other doll's, except it also had a ribbon in its hair reminiscent of a certain darkness youkai. Floating barely an inch off the ground, it stared at them, and they stared back. In a flurry of movement, the hanged doll and the cursed doll drew their weapons, but before they could move to strike, the abandoned doll raised its arms, a powerful toxin seeping out of the earth and wrapping around them like a thick fog.

Both dolls stared at each other and promptly collapsed. The poison coalesced into a single ball, which was absorbed by the doll. Making the tiniest of sighs, it sat itself down on the dusty ground and poked the other two dolls with a stick. A shadow fell over all three of them, prompting it to look up.

"Oh, my, my, my… such wonderful specimens~"

"You didn't need to knock them out, you know."

"My apologies, _enslaver_. I didn't realize I was supposed to accommodate your emotions."

"We've been through this; I don't enslave them, I make them."

"Impossible. The only means of such a thing was enscripted in a lost grimoire, one which was burnt away in Makai years ago."

"You mean this one?"

The quiet click of a belt strap opening was heard. A purple glow pervaded the clearing as the shuffling of pages made themselves known. A runic hexagram etched itself under the hanged doll and the cursed doll, lifting them back to their feet.

"N-no way… but if you have such a thing, that means you must be…!"

"Yes, I am… Medicine Melancholy."

**– TOUHOU –**

**Surprise~**

**A cookie for whoever pieces together Yukari's rambling and the hints I've been dropping. And trust me, that cookie is one hell of a cookie. No, I'm not trying to bait my readers into reviewing, Satori! Whatever are you talking abo - yes, I am, I'm terrible...**

**In other news, I'm currently working an extra work because I received a PM the other day. The gist of it was that I kept pointing out strange things that are never elaborated on or simply jabbed at and then forgotten. I am currently writing a child fic to Boundless World of Danmaku (BWD) that will fix this. Chapters of that one will be slightly shorter, most of them will be 2000/4000 words instead of 3000/6000.**

**Keep your eyes peeled and on the update section for BWD: The Noodle Incidents!**

**(If you don't get it, go google noodle incident)**


	14. Wait, Cooties?

**Hey guys! Another update coming out here. Not much to say, really. But to my PM buddy, yes. Yes, rapist Yukari is probably the most terrifying Yukari you'll ever meet. If she's in a _mood,_ you better run.  
**

**Enjoy!**

**– TOUHOU –**

Inside Chireiden, a fierce battle was waged between two sides. Inside the cavernous halls of the mansion, several cats ran by as the wall exploded. Lasers blasting out, followed closely by hailstorm of icicles trailed after Mannosuke as turned his fall into a somersault, coming up crouching. Frowning, he reached out and plunged a hand into the wall behind him. Tearing the entire wall out in a single move, he hefted the twenty-by-twenty over his head and tossed it. As it reached the other end of the hallway, two thin purple lines raced across it, forming a cross. In a split-second, the wall was cleaved in four pieces, each of them flying harmlessly by as an incredible force of gravity was exerted along those thin lines, crushing them out of existence and breaking apart the wall.

"Nice one, Karin-san!" Byakuren dashed past the gravity manipulator and slammed her energy sword across Mannosuke's forearm, stalling him for a brief second. Pushing his arm out of the way, Byakuren ducked under his left hook and kicked his legs out from underneath him. Against a close-combatant like Mannosuke, it wouldn't keep him down for long, but it'd keep him down long enough. Vaulting over Mannosuke's head, Byakuren flipped upside-down in mid-air to face Mannosuke once more, spell card in hand. _"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"_

Righting herself, the magic lotus petal emblazoned itself behind her, four colossal lasers forcing her into the air with the recoil and digging Mannosuke even deeper into the ground. Waves and waves of danmaku began to fire from the lotus petals, but each was either dodged, batted aside, or outright taken and ignored by Mannosuke as he stalked forward. Byakuren shouted, "Cirno-san, now!"

"Nice try," growled Mannosuke. Whipping around, he smashed Cirno across the face with a well-aimed roundhouse kick, batting her through the roof and driving her six feet deep into the cave ceiling. He turned back to Byakuren –

And promptly ate a faceful of laser.

Mannosuke staggered, wiping the scorch marks off irritably. Reaching into his loincloth, he produced a spell card of his own. _"Manly Man – Falcon PAWNCH!"_

The fire-cloaked fist was sent flying at Byakuren, who had no time to block. In an instant, Mannosuke had crossed the distance of fifty feet and sent the magician cartwheeling away. Flames still dancing across his hands, he turned. "Who's next!?"

_"Graviton Sign – Polaris Crush!"_

Once more, the manliest of man took a step back as gravity took a firm hold upon him, the floor around him sinking into a crater. Karin skidded to a halt, hands crackling with purple energy. Mannosuke grinned as he raced to the challenge. "If it's a fistfight you want, it's a fistfight you'll _get!_"

Rearing back, Mannosuke threw a straight punch that could've decapitated in one strike, but Karin slid around the fist, a lock of hair cutting free from the enormous strength put behind the blow. Triggering her powers over gravity, Karin slammed a palm against Mannosuke's chest and fired.

The ground peeled away as Mannosuke was sent flying by the brief instant of antigravity, pushing him away with extraordinary force. Wringing her hand out, Karin clapped her hands together and drew them apart, violet energy blasting back and forth between her claw-like hands. _"Escaping Orbit – Terminal Velocity!"_

Her hands flashed and she flung herself headlong at Mannosuke. In a mere instant, her powers sent her skittering around behind Mannosuke, and she began fiercely assaulting him, each strike producing another wave of danmaku. _"Wheeeee~!"_

She stopped attacking for a split-second, drawing back and away from Mannosuke as her fist glowed with power. As he took a single step forward, Karin released the pent-up energy as she leapt forward.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Holy – is that Kourin?" Marisa watched from a distance as the manly man smashed out of the twelve-foot tall walls surrounding Chireiden, the gates crumbling behind him as he flew – straight into Utsuho's nuclear reactor. Almost immediately, the titanium walls built around the ground (which doubled as the top) floor lit up with a savage orange glow and a hell raven's terrified shrieks echoed out. Marisa hummed thoughtfully to herself. "I should probably take a look at this, ze…"

Far below her, and blissfully unaware of the witch's presence, Darius ground to a halt as he stared at the ruins of Chireiden. Satori carefully sidestepped him and stopped beside him. However, Yukari and Reimu bounced off his back; the former having been trying once more to get in the latter's skirt, the miko simply trying to hold her off long enough for her to lose interest. Ignoring them, the gunslinger continued staring at what little remained of Chireiden. "I thought that was a full mansion half an hour ago…"

"It was." Satori easily kicked aside the splintered doors and walked in. "No, it seems Morichika left moments ago – we were just barely too late. On the other hand, Byakuren and the Polar Team are still here. Yes, I can read minds from one end of Chireiden to another."

"Where are they?" Yukari stopped molesting Reimu for the briefest moment to ask her question, though her hands refused to stop, sometimes tickling the miko into submission, sometimes using more _intimate_ tactics to keep her off guard.

"A-ah! W-watch what you're touching…"

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you, Reimu-chan. Could you say it again?"

"I _said_, watch what you're – eek! Ah…"

"Ufufufu~"

Ignoring the two's continued quarrel, Satori answered Yukari's question, though it was more aimed at Darius. "They're still in Chireiden. It seems Muyoka-san overexerted herself trying to fight Morichika."

"Really? Is she alright?" To everyone's surprise, _Yukari_ had asked the question, even getting off of a half-dressed and all-flustered miko, who was hastily trying to rewrap her sarashi without being too obvious about it.

"Mostly – just tired, or so I assume – oh, she's knocked out now…" Satori continued her blind commentary on the gravity manipulator. "Well, she's fine. Hijiri-san is there to take care of her."

Yukari sighed in relief and then started as she realized the others were looking at her. "What? I-I'm not worried about – look, I'm raping Reimu! _What more do you people want!?_"

Sure enough, she had once more jumped Reimu, much to the miko's surprise and not at all to anyone else's. The two of them tumbled away, right into a carefully placed gap. "No, _no! Yukari, stop_ – mmm… don't… _Yukarin~…_"

Darius coughed rather loudly. Right away, the gap closed, shutting off the sight of Yukari and Reimu doing – well, it's not important…

"… Shall we move on?" Satori looked completely unperturbed.

Darius nodded gratefully. "Yes, definitely."

Five minutes later, the two of them had found the three they were looking for. Cirno had Karin slung over her back in a fireman's carry with Byakuren standing by, silently casting healing spells. Catching sight of Darius, she left the scroll running on auto mode and sighed. "Healing spells take so long to cast… But anyways, where have you been?"

"Chasing Marisa up and down Hell. And after that, she got away and I stopped to get the books she dropped. Oh, I suppose I met Satori-san again, too." Darius rubbed his temples. "_And_ I got treated to the sight of Yukari trying to… you know." He made an explicit gesture with his hands.

Satori grimaced and Byakuren cringed. Next to them, Cirno piped up. "Are you all done yet? In case you didn't know, Karin-san's last attack sent Morichika into Okuu's reactor. You'd best stop her before she melts down everything again."

_We'd better stop her? Well, what are you going to do?_ Alexa's voice was somewhat muffled from Darius' holster.

Not even showing surprise, Cirno glared daggers at the revolver. "I'm going to get Karin-san back above ground. My diagnosis is too inaccurate, and the materials down here are no good for an impromptu medicine. I'll be bringing her to Eirin-san's."

"So much for MacGyvering our way out…" Satori muttered sourly. Recovering quickly, she cleared her throat and went on. "Now, you said Morichika is in the reactor?"

"He is," confirmed the seraph. She was already floating into the air and beginning to drift away. "It seems Karin-san is still using her power unconsciously, so I have to hurry or we might all get sucked into a black hole. Good luck to you all. Oh, and Darius-kun…"

The sharpshooter raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Borrow this." Snapping off a section of her six wings, it extended and sharpened into a wickedly sharp double-edged claymore made of the same unbreakable ice Cirno had once used before. The seraph tossed it casually at Darius and smiled a little. "You can't be a proper Touhou OC without a sword, if only for a little bit."

"What are you talking about?" The sword was actually rather light when he caught it. So that's how Cirno swung them around so easily…

"Nothing you need to worry about," Satori and Cirno declared at the same time. They looked at each other and rolled their eyes. In unison, they muttered something about "Stupid author and his wall-breaking shout outs…"

A gap opened next to them, and Yukari appeared with a pout on her face, though it was slightly ruined by her panting and the rather musky smell hanging about her. The fact Reimu was chained up behind her wasn't helping. "Again, I'd like to ask you stop leaning on the fourth wall. It's very touchy with these kinds of things."

Her piece done, Yukari disappeared once more. The last they saw of her was drawing a whip from another gap and the heartless smile on her face.

"Hey, wait! Cirno, _where do I keep this thing when I'm not using it?_"

"Good-bye, Darius-kun!" Cirno called as she flew away at impressive speeds. Within seconds, she was a blue speck in the distance.

"I don't care how smart she is, she's still a nineball." Darius dug the tip of his new sword into the floor next to him. "So what now?"

"Simple." Byakuren smiled as she revealed a spell card. Then flicked it to reveal another four behind it. "We beat Morichika."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Nooo! Get away from me, you big meanie~"

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_BZZZZZZZZZZT!_

"Goddammit all!" Mannosuke jumped away from yet another series of miniature suns. He'd already learned the hard way that nuclear fallout was _not_ something you could punch out of the way, much to his displeasure. The fact that his mere presence seemed to drive Okuu into a frenzied cooties-based panic didn't help matters. "Enough spam!"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Darius burst through the doors of the reactor, Satori and Byakuren right behind him. The glass floor beneath them was cracked and dented and covered in scorch marks. In the center of the spacious room, Okuu bounced back and forth between the walls, randomly blasting out danmaku. "What."

"Okuu's terrified of Morichika; Orin told her something she shouldn't have." Satori placed a hand against her face and sighed. "I need to have a talk with that kasha later." She pulled her hand away and watched Mannosuke slam his heel against the floor, easily smashing the glass and dropping to the lower sections of the reactor. Byakuren made to follow, but Satori blocked her. "_Duck._"

All three of them hit the floor just as a blazing beam of energy blasted above their heads, singing their hair. Lowering the control rod, Okuu's eyes were a manic red as she screamed again, whirling in a red-hot vortex that spat nuclear death, colossal nuclear danmaku bouncing off the walls violently.

"She's gone berserk," Satori sidestepped as a nuclear bullet rocketed by her, singing the front of her shirt. "We'll have to calm her down, or else she might lose control of the react–" Her words were cut off as the subterranean sun deep below them rumbled, tendrils of energy lashing out from it and swiping at the walls, shaking the entire facility. "I take that back. Okuu already lost control of the reactor." Drawing a series of spell cards, Satori continued. "We likely only have five minutes to defeat Okuu before the backup control rods overload and we all die."

"I thought spell card rules prohibited death." Byakuren shot a look at the mind reader. "What's going on?"

"The reactor isn't danmaku. If it explodes, we'll be in a perfectly lethal position," explained Satori.

"Five minutes… is that even possible!?" Darius demanded as he shot down another nuclear bullet; not enough to destroy it, but enough to slow it down so he could move out of its way. "Look at her!"

On cue, the hell raven lashed out with the control rod strapped to her arm, swinging a beam of nuclear energy as if it were the world's largest sword. Everyone either jumped or flew out of the way and then broke off to either side as she swung the arm cannon around and down in an arc of destruction.

"It's entirely possible." Satori slid to a halt behind Okuu and delivered a solid palm strike in the small of her back, staggering her. "If it was impossible, I'd have told you to all run to the next galaxy. Besides, if one miko could do it, then we can probably do it, too. And Okuu's not even using her full power."

"That's not her full power? _How is it not her full power!?_" Darius screamed. A bolt of danmaku blasted him in the chest, slamming him against the walls. Breathing heavily, he got up shakily and slid a spell card into his gun's chamber. _"Darkness Sign – Endless Absence of Light!"_

The black beam of energy exploded from the muzzle of his revolver. Okuu barely even registered it, letting herself be batted out of the air, the glass cracking under her. Getting up, she ignored the bloody cuts on her hands from where the shattered glass shards and touched them and instead reached up to lay a hand on her control rod.

_Click._

The arm cannon crashed to the ground as Okuu flexed her right hand, encased in a metallic glove that reached up to her elbow as it glowed menacingly.

"_That's_ her full power." Satori began to back away. "This isn't good – she's barely holding back at this point."

The air began to shimmer around Okuu as a heat wave began to emanate from her. Rearing back, she slammed the gauntlet against the floor, glowing lines of energy racing up and down the floor in a complex interlocking pattern. The cracks surged – and the floor _exploded_, splintering to hundreds of pieces as Okuu sank her power into it, shattering the glass and sending all of them into a free fall. Throwing aside the cape slung over her back, Okuu extended her wings and hovered in place, a spell card in her hands.

_"Explosion Sign – Giga Flare!"_

_"Adjudicator – Commissar of the Noble Skies!"_ Initiating his flight spell card, Darius barely grazed past the colossal firestorm that took up nearly the entire reactor. "Crap, now what?"

Cancelling the colossal beam, Okuu flew down to directly in front of him, gauntlet drawn back. _"Light Energy – High-Tension Blade!"_

Unable to react in time, Darius was struck with the full force of condensed nuclear energy, catapulting him into the depths of the reactor at terminal velocity. The titanium walls behind him dented as he slammed against it, gritting his teeth. Wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth, he flipped the claymore Cirno had given him in his hands and leapt back up. Okuu flapped her wings once, bringing herself to the roof in an instant. A half-second later, Darius found himself in a defensive stance, the colossal sword grinding against Okuu's nuclear blade as she tried to slice him in half.

Twitching the grip ever so slightly, Darius changed the balance of the claymore, sending Okuu skittering along the flat of it as the gunslinger dived out of the way. So, fake-outs still worked. Good to know. However, his second of amusement cost him, Okuu having recovered far faster than expected. Blasting away the danmaku launched by Byakuren and Satori, she generated another Tension Blade and lunged at Darius, releasing her hold on the energy blade just as she came within range.

The gunslinger was smacked into the wall once more by the point-blank explosion generated by the hell raven. Okuu raced forward to finish him off, but a laser lanced across her field of vision, forcing her away as Byakuren flew into her. Two quick jabs, followed by a kick and a quick blast of danmaku saw Okuu sent reeling through the air. Chasing after the recovering hell raven, Byakuren flew over the beam of energy she fired and whirled, using a drop kick to bat Okuu even deeper into the reactor. Righting herself, Okuu growled and shot off even deeper into the reactor.

Byakuren flew back up to Darius and helped him to his feet. "You okay?"

"Not really…" Darius coughed up something that looked suspiciously important in a working human body. "I'll be fine."

"He's just winded, Hijiri-san. He'll be fine in a few minutes." Satori reported her diagnosis of the gunslinger as she stopped next to them. "I'll go on ahead and stall Okuu. You two had best hurry." Without another word, she too flew into the yawning maw of the reactor.

"Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"Please don't worry about me too much." Darius forced himself to his feet. "You should follow Satori-san too. I'll join you in a little bit."

With one last worried glance, Byakuren nodded and hopped away, letting herself fall into the reactor.

Darius leaned against the wall, panting slightly. Pulling the claymore out of the slanted 'ground' of his impact crater, he also drew his revolver and looked at it. "Ready yet?"

_Spell card systems operating at 80% maximum capacity,_ reported Alexa. Inside the sharpshooter's dream world, she stood upon the white sea, a vast window before her showing the living weapon what her wielder saw. On either side of her, countless streams of black-white data fountained down into the ocean below her, reminding her irresistibly of the Matrix. _This probably won't work, Darius-sama…_

"It'll have to…"

A sigh reverberated from the revolver. The chamber clicked open, exposing another new spell card. _This is extremely risky, you know. The odds lie in favour of seeing it explode in our faces. This body wasn't designed to conduct energy in the way you planned it._

"You'll never know until you try, huh?" Darius carefully held the claymore out before him. Lining up Alexa along its hilt, he muttered, _"Judgment Sign – Righteous Blade of Vengeance."_

The revolver in his hand warped, the metal melting away and reconfiguring itself in a cylindrical shape. The ice claymore flickered and melted, pooling away as a new blade sprang to life in its place.

"Holy hell, it looks like a lightsaber." Darius regarded the new weapon in his hands. In fact, it did look _remarkably_ like a lightsaber – the hilt that used to be a revolver, at least. The double-edged blade was of a similar concept, however – energy condensed into a cutting edge. The left side of the sword was pitch-black, purple waves of energy running along the edge. On the right side, it was a fierce white glow, yellow outlining it. Between the two halves, a gradient myriad of colours ran up and down, constantly shifting colours between black and white, purple and yellow, dark red and light red as it pulsed.

_Good thing you didn't use this in the middle of a fight._ Alexa's voice was strained, but it calmed down as she brought the blade under control. _It would've probably overloaded if you tried this earlier._

"Told you it'd work."

_Next time you come up with another spell card idea, please don't pick something this dangerous._

"It worked out, didn't it?"

_I've got a gift horse here; you wanna look in its mouth?_

"… Point. Why does it even look like a lightsaber anyways?"

_I have access to your memories, Darius-sama. I thought it'd be interesting if I borrowed the concept._

"…"

_…_

"… Dammit, Alexa."

**– TOUHOU –**

"…"

"…"

_Clink!_

"Damn it all."

"You can't possibly think that'd work, do you?"

"Of course I didn't. How could it? At the very least, it proves that girl is certainly getting better."

"Yes. _Her…_"

"Bad history, I assume?"

"You were_ there_. For the love of – you helped!"

"My bad, it's simply been too many years since she first set foot in there."

"A pity her ancestor performs so poorly."

"Indeed."

_Ding._

"Who's this?"

"Someone I think you might know. Are you familiar with… this?"

"So she's found him?"

"I think so. Shall we begin?"

"Not yet. The puzzle is not yet completed. Lifting a jigsaw before it is completed will only serve to collapse it."

"You're one to talk. Really, trying to set up my homeland as a _tourist attraction?_"

"Ehehe… Sorry?"

"Well, seeing as I can't gut you, it'll have to do."

"Friendly as ever, Maseriki."

"When I get out of here, I swear…"

"Too bad you're not going anywh – what?"

"What's wrong?"

"That's not – I don't – how could she have possibly – we have a problem."

"What _is_ it?"

"The rook has begun to follow his own path."

"Bad. Very, very bad. The pieces are unraveling."

"Not yet. A carefully placed knight of our own should stop him."

"And where shall this knight of ours go?"

"In a week's time, send her to the Garden of the Sun. Tell the Sleeping Terror...

_Crack!_

"The Demon Goddess seeks alliance."

**– TOUHOU –**

**Yes, Satori and Cirno are going to get along well. They're also going to be breaking lots and lots of walls.**

**As for the lightsaber, _I DO WHAT I WANT!_**

**Also, when it comes to the mystery two... well, one of them should be obvious. The other, not so much. If you piece together the hints, however, that's a different story. Tell me what you think of the mystery duo!**


	15. EX Stage: Mission Start!

**OH GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER I FOUND A TOUHOU MINECRAFT SERVER I REGRET EVERYTHING**

**Also, this chapter is pathetically short compared to my other chapters. Please find it in your heart to forgive me...**

**– TOUHOU –**

_Welcome to the bottom level of the reactor, Darius-sama._

"Honestly, I can't tell what the hell I'm looking at."

_… Oh, right. Too many explosions._

"…"

_Michael Bay would be proud of her._

"Oh, shut up…"

Ironically, it was true. They were in fact at the deepest heart of Utsuho's Nuclear Reactor, where her infamous Subterranean Sun dwelled, floating mere feet above the lava lake below it. Countless glyphs and wires ran along the walls, though many were dented or broken due to the raven's rampage. Interestingly, Mannosuke was nowhere to be seen. Cursing, Darius jumped to the side as a stray laser blasted by him. Eyes glowing a furious crimson, Okuu stood atop the glowing sun, one hand raised as if to seize the sky, danmaku flying wildly as her other hand moved on its own, the nuclear gauntlet covering it glowing and firing as she sought to strike her opponents out of the sky.

"Oh, good, you're here." Satori held a barrier before herself as she tried to restrain Okuu's raw power. "It's not like we needed you here any earlier or anything."

"Let me guess; beat some sense into the flying nuke up there." Darius flicked his sword's trigger, the black-white blade manifesting itself.

"Not how I'd put it, but yes." Byakuren touched down next to him as Okuu flailed about high above them, almost all of her bullets missing entirely in her berserk state. "I see you have an actual sword now."

Darius shrugged. "A random idea I came up with."

"Mm-hmm." Satori dissipated her barrier and shot a quick wave of bullets at the hell raven, distracting her. "Because you clearly didn't copy both Hijiri-san and this 'Star Wars' thing you're thinking of. And in all seriousness, _stop calling me a moe blob_."

As Darius tried to speak, the reactor shook violently, staggering everyone in it. Okuu sank onto the surface of her subterranean sun, which had begun to react even more violently. Its shape twisting and blurring, solar flares began to surge out, breaking themselves apart on the walls as the carefully engineered reactor began to overload. Lining the perimeter of the reactor, level with the sun in their midst, several glass tubes large enough to store a man inside began to glow bright orange, many of them shattering.

Satori winced as a piece of glass nicked her skin. "Okuu's almost completely lost control; we have about two minutes to finish this before we all die."

"Dammit all…" Darius winced as the heat waves began to reverberate within the cavernous reactor, raising the temperature to the point of feeling like the world's worst sauna. "Guess we better hurry this up then."

Byakuren nodded. "Let's go."

In a quick movement, Byakuren dashed to one side, Satori paralleling her on the opposite side. The gunslinger ran forward towards Okuu, dropping to the ground and rolling as a surge of nuclear energy blasted over him. Getting up, he leapt into the air, wings manifesting behind him as he spun, sword swinging with him. Okuu growled and plunged a hand into the surface of the sun. Her hand dripping with magma, her gauntlet warped, twisting into a slimmer version of her original control rod. A blade blasted forth from its depths, which the hell raven used to parry Darius' strike.

_A rapier…?_ Alexa chuckled as her wielder broke off and swung the sword once, an arc of danmaku splitting from the blade and flying towards Okuu.

"Looks like it." Darius leapt back as Okuu pointed a finger into the air, several magma geysers following her movement as they tried to melt away the gunslinger. As he retreated, Byakuren jumped up towards the hell raven and brought her crashing off the surface of her sun with a powerful knee strike. Shaking off the dust, Okuu flapped her wings, bringing her into the air. In a lightning quick move, she flew forward and dug her gauntlet into the surprised magician's stomach. It glowed white for a split-second before the palm of it _exploded_, blasting Byakuren away. Okuu flew forward to finish the attack –

_"Muyoka Recollection – Polaris Crush."_

Okuu staggered, dropping several feet closer to the surface of the lava lake below them. At Byakuren's side, Satori floated, spell card in hand. Her third eye blinked and widened, the hell raven dropping a few more feet as she struggled to remain in the air. With a quick word of thanks to the mind reader, Byakuren got up and drew a spell card from her sleeves. A whoosh of air, and Darius looked over to her, raising Alexa questioningly, once more in gun form with a spell card in the chamber. She nodded.

"Alright then." Darius pointed the revolver at the still-reeling nuclear raven. "Here goes nothing…"

_Danmaku protocol fully calibrated._ Alexa informed him. _Ready for deployment._

_"Absent World without Yin nor Yang – Great Wuji Storm of Oblivion."_

Once more, the pencil-thin laser shot out, focused dead center on Okuu. Eyes widening in panic, she began to fly sideways to evade it, Darius tracking her movements like a homing missile. Within seconds, the laser petered out, fading away. Okuu blinked in confusion.

Half a second later, the world exploded.

Smoke filled the entire reactor, the spell card blowing apart everything as a wave of force blasted out, knocking all three of them back. As they watched intensively, a figure stirred in the smoke. The gauntlet in her hand hissed, steam emitting from numerous vents as it collapsed, melting away to nothing as it crumbled from being used to block the spell.

Okuu raised her hand, a spell card in her grip. As it began to burn in the extreme heat, the hell raven declared its name.

**_"Last Word – Abyssal Supernova."_**

Immediately, the subterranean sun above them pulsed, a network of nuclear danmaku blasting out from it, restraining the trio from escape as the interlocking chains bounced wildly about the reactor. They condensed around Utsuho, protecting her with a solid web of danmaku.

"This is bad." Satori took a step back as the cracks in the raven's web began to glow a furious orange. "Get higher up – _now_."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Darius gestured around them as even more danmaku began to fly. "Look at all these bullets!"

With a sound like tearing paper, a gap formed next to them, dropping Reimu and Yukari, who (for once) looked ready for action. Closing her fan and stowing it away, Yukari spoke, a smile playing on the edges of her mouth. "Darius, have you ever seen a Last Word?"

"No…?"

She smiled grimly. "Well then, prepare yourself."

Two gaps opened on either side of her, Ran and Chen hopping out. A spell card in her hands, Yukari said. "Draw your spells, everyone."

"You don't need to tell us." Reimu frowned.

Winking at the gunslinger, Yukari held her spell card out in front of her. "Get ready for the largest amount of spam you'll ever see."

_ "Shikigami – Chen!"_ A sweeping gesture with one hand, and Chen flew to the attack. _"Shikigami – Ran!"_ A dramatic flourish with the other, and Ran was plucked up by the border youkai literally tossed at the hell raven. With one last movement, Yukari drew a third spell card. _"Obsolete Line – Trip to the Abandoned Station!"_ A single massive horn, and the gap opened, Yukari's signature train blasting out.

_ "Divine Spirits – Fantasy Seal!"_ The ever-iconic spell of the red-white miko, Reimu sent forth the deluge of homing danmaku.

_"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"_ Byakuren's lotus sigil formed behind her, four lasers blasting out at speed, spinning bolts of bullets following after them.

_"Kirisame Recollection – Final Spark."_ Drawing from Reimu's pool of memories, Satori flung out a hand, the black-white's laser firing from her palm.

_Oh god what the hell,_ deadpanned Alexa as the colossal storm of danmaku flew forth.

In Utsuho's mind, the timer ticked to zero.

Her eyes shining a blazing crimson red, the entire reactor splintered apart as everything was flooded with a savage flow of raw energy. The sun above them pulsed again, growing even larger as the walls cracked and shattered, frayed wires letting off sparks as they fell. Utsuho's defensive danmaku spread out, spilling away as the temperature skyrocketed. Throwing her arms out to both sides, the hell raven let out a wordless scream as the reactor _exploded_, the magma below racing upwards as if a volcano were erupting, the sun above shattering, wild danmaku storms flowing every which way as it fell apart at the seams.

Holding up an arm to try and shield himself from the spell, Darius cursed fluently in every language he could think of as he watched. In his dream world, Alexa wasn't doing much better.

When suddenly, just as quickly as it had started, it stopped.

The sun above them bulged and fell apart, automatically turning into a rain of nuclear danmaku. Below them, the lava lake surged and bubbled as Okuu was blasted out of the air by the combined assault and fell into it. Her spell card went out of control, circuits overloading around them as the walls blew out, giant slabs of steel falling into the magma with an almighty crash. The hell raven's interlocking web of danmaku high above them also fell, expanding and shrinking into a rain of death high above them. Rocks and glass fell from high above them, the very earth itself shaking.

Satori narrowed her eyes. "Everyone, we have to get out."

"But what about her?" Byakuren gestured to where Okuu had fallen. "What about what you brought us down here to do?"

"There's no time. Besides, if it's Okuu we're talking about, I'm sure she can handle herself." Satori looked up at the descending metallic death above them. "Morichika has likely hightailed it out of my home, so thank you for that. However, we still have a nuclear meltdown to deal with."

"Well, how are we supposed to fix that?" Darius blasted another steel beam out of the way as it fell. "In case you didn't notice, the rest of us are more interested in getting out alive than learning nuclear physics!"

"And therein lays the good news of the situation." Satori smiled slightly. "Okuu will recover quickly, and it would take weeks before this reactor was unsalvageable. In case you didn't notice, this reactor was designed differently from whatever you call Chernobyl. We have kappa; the outside world doesn't."

"You lot realize we lost our easy ticket out of here while you were arguing, right?" Reimu put up a barrier above herself, the nuclear danmaku bouncing off of it harmlessly. "Yukarin's gone."

Everyone stopped abruptly and looked around. Apparently, Yukari _had_ left them, taking Ran and Chen with her. Eventually, Alexa spoke up.

_Well, crap._

**– TOUHOU –**

"What took you so long? I was starting to wonder if you'd ever show up."

"If _we'd_ show up? Where were you this whole time!?" Darius had to be restrained by Byakuren to keep him from trying to gut the flower youkai standing before them.

Yuuka twirled her parasol idly and frowned. "I was waiting for you all to show up. Just so you know, that… _thing_ passed through a couple minutes ago."

"Rinnosuke? Why didn't you stop him?" Compared to the gunslinger she was currently holding face-first against the ground, Byakuren was a lot calmer.

"Hmm… why _didn't_ I?" Yuuka snapped her fingers. "Ah, yes. I believe Yukari called it an Extra Stage."

"… Extra Stage?" Reimu paled. "Oh no…"

Satori rolled her eyes. "Not again…"

"What's an Extra Stage?"

"They are." Yuuka pointed over her back. Looking past the youkai moe, the others saw…

A single discarded doll.

Satori muttered a subdued "Oh…"

"Satori-san, what did you do?" Byakuren picked up the doll and examined it curiously.

"Looks like the fifth team was late," murmured Satori.

Darius looked up. "What are you talking about? There were only four teams!"

"No, there were five," confirmed Yuuka.

"Well, why didn't you tell us?"

Yuuka shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."

Facepalming, Darius turned to the mind reader. "Who was the fifth team?"

"Magic Team…" Satori looked over at Yuuka. "You never saw your second team member, did you? No, of course you didn't. However, I'm sure you all saw the first half of the fifth team. Yes; it was Kirisame."

"Wait, what?" Reimu started. "Why did you keep changing the teams?"

"I decided we needed more firepower. Sadly, it seems it didn't quite so well." Satori pulled out a somewhat burnt piece of paper. "Let me recite the teams in full:

"The Border Team: Reimu Hakurei, Yukari Yakumo.  
The Myouren Team: Byakuren Hijiri, Darius Loyhrs – oh, get over your last name, _please_ –  
The Polar Team: Cirno 'Seraph', Karin Muyoka.  
The Flower Team: Yuuka Kazami, Medicine Melancholy.  
The Magic Team: Marisa Kirisame, Alice Margatroid."

She rolled up the piece of paper and threw it down the pit, watching it burn far below them. "And there you have it."

"That doesn't quite explain why we saw Marisa, but not Alice," pointed out Reimu.

Satori sighed. "Kirisame likely decided she wanted to go loot my home and left Margatroid behind. I doubt Yuuka-san here was able to convince Melancholy-san to show up, though she came here on her own later."

"That was oddly accurate. How'd you know?" Byakuren raised an eyebrow.

Satori pointed above them. "I've been reading their minds for the past ten minutes."

A small tinkling sound, and Alice Margatroid descended, supported by her signature dolls, Shanghai and Hourai. "I was starting to wonder if you'd ever notice."

"Indeed." Beside her, a cloud of toxic mist descended, coalescing into the shape of a doll and a young girl. Nodding to Yuuka, Medicine said, "Hello, flower youkai."

"You know, it'd be nice if you didn't stay in a toxic field all the time," Yuuka complained. "It'd make trying to talk to you a lot easier."

Medicine shrugged. "And what about thieves like _her?_"

"I don't steal, da ze, I_ borrow!_" Marisa heeled sharply next to them. "I keep telling you, you can have your things back when I die. You're a tsukukogami, so you'll definitely live longer than me!"

"Well, I guess I'll get my things back earlier, rather than later." The threat was clear as the doll orbiting Medicine stopped and sat on her shoulder, pouting at the witch.

Marisa flinched as Alice glanced at the others. "Yes?"

"You know what you came here for, right?" Byakuren's tone was carefully controlled.

"Yes?"

"And you also realize you arrived too late?"

"Yes?"

"_And_ you also stopped Kazami-san from catching our target?"

"… Yes?"

Everyone simultaneously crashed to the ground, weeping.

**– TOUHOU –**

"… You have _got_ to be kidding me."

A sigh. "What now?"

Several faint clicking noises echoed in the room. "Those two fools went ahead and stopped that monster from being captured."

"And how is this a problem? It'll serve to distract them longer."

"How is this – we barely controlled that thing in the first place! If I hadn't infiltrated Eintei, it would've been impossible to–"

"_Quiet!"_

"…"

"…"

"What is it?"

"We've been had. Likely that damnable hag playing around again."

"_Her?_" A shadowed figure spat disdainfully. "How did she even know?"

"It doesn't matter; we need to cut off all connections. _Now._"

"… Understood, Shinki-san."


	16. Infernal Arena

**Behold, yet another chapter! The plot marches on... or does it? You'll have to find out.**

**Now, to my most recent reviewer... Thank you so much, Core-X, for all the reviews. Now, to my other reviewers, please don't feel bad. I love you too!**

**But to answer your questions in chronological order; no. No, I am not kidding you. I refuse. As for the... confusion between Yukari(n~) and Reimu, well. It all fits into my master plan... which is practically nonexistent. Worry not, I knew what I was doing when I put that together! Mostly! Not really! Barely! Besides, it's Yukari. What did you expect? As for the server I was talking about, it was YukkuriCraft. I don't know if you've heard of it.**

**And finally, thank you for the reviews, all of you! They encourage me to keep writing and help me make the story better.**

**But for everyone reading this (yes, everyone), you'd best prepare yourself. This plot line is going on a roller-coaster ride, and no one's getting off. Hahahaha...**

**– TOUHOU –**

"I don't quite understand why you saw the reason to block us." Byakuren's hand tightened around her scroll.

"When in doubt, blame _her_." Alice waved it off as she pointed at Yukari.

Yukari pointed back, an equally flat expression on her face. "You. That template. Forbidden. Stop it."

"It's true, isn't it?" Satori stared at the gap youkai, who stubbornly cross her arms and glared back.

"I'm not speaking." Yukari watched Satori slowly drift closer, her face not changing at all. She wasn't even breathing.

"Stop it! It wasn't me!" The mind reader inexorably moved closer, ever so slowly…

_SNAP!_

"Alright! It was me! I just needed someone to play the role of our Extra Boss!" Yukari broke down as Satori hovered barely an inch from her face. The gap youkai sobbed and slashed open the air, hurling herself into the gap and closing it.

Satori smirked as Yukari disappeared. "Easier to play with than wet clay."

"You'd think the biggest manipulator in Gensokyo would be a tougher nut to crack…" Reimu muttered.

"Look, can we just cut to the chase and kill each other?" Darius rapped a knuckle against the barrier around them. "Somehow, I don't think we're leaving until Yukari gets her show."

Satori flinched. "He didn't mean it _that_ way."

Marisa rubbed the back of her head and blushed. Darius smacked his head against the barrier.

Recovering, he pulled out Alexa, raising the revolver and pointing it tiredly. "Can we start?"

Above them, a gap opened up, and Yukari reappeared in a referee's outfit. At least, that's what Darius saw. Everyone else was probably lost in the joke. Blowing her whistle, Yukari spoke in a commanding voice. "Alright, everyone! I want a clean, fair fight! Hands off, no lethal danmaku, no power abuse – oh, who am I kidding? Standard spell card rules! Kill each other dead in three…!"

Everyone present made eye contact with someone else and shook their heads, sighing.

"Two…!"

"This is probably going to end terribly." Alice lifted a few glittering strings, a dozen explosive dolls following her command.

_"One…!"_

Everyone tensed as Yukari raised an arm straight up.

_"GO!"_

Her arm fell and the bound arena exploded into motion.

Alice lashed out in a sweeping gesture, magic strings hanging from her fingers as five dolls drew their lances and charged, following her hand's arc perfectly. Her targets scattered every which way to dodge the swarm. Coming up crouched, Darius pointed his gun and fired, a thin white laser zipping out at speed. Half a second later, a colossal danmaku bullet formed on the muzzle of his revolver and blasted forward. Summoning her loyal Shanghai doll, a quick laser blast saw the bullet shifted off course, allowing Alice to skim its surface as she flew into the air.

Above the two, Marisa laughed gleefully as she rode her broom like a surfboard, easily gliding around waves of danmaku. Her hands glowing with magic, she spun in mid-air, a spiral of danmaku following her movement. Coming out of her spin, Marisa tossed a black object into the air and shot a blue laser at her opponent.

Behind the witch, Yuuka continued to fly at her own pace as the lasers shot at her. In a burst of wild speed, she _vanished_, disappearing just the lasers intersected. A flicker in the air, and Yuuka swung her parasol around like a baseball bat, sending Marisa careening into the barrier on the opposite side of the arena.

Dropping to the ground expertly, the flower youkai slammed a hand to the ground, several colossal sunflowers instantly blooming to shield her from the witch's retaliation of star danmaku. Pulling away the sunflowers, they withered for a split second and fell to the ground. Withdrawing her hand, Yuuka instead tapped a single foot on the ground. With a yelp, Marisa jumped a couple feet upwards as a vine shot out of the ground, the tip embedding itself firmly in the barrier locking off the arena.

"C'mon, Yuuka!" Marisa whooped as she shot off, vines landing less than in inch behind her. "Try something harder! Heck, a nineball could dodge this!"

In Eintei, an ice fairy sneezed.

"If you insist," said Yuuka. Levelling her parasol tip-down, she drove it into the ground. Immediately, over a dozen vines thicker than pillars exploded out, the earth shattering as they grew. A curse barely forming on her lips, Marisa hit the brakes as one of them lanced out a mere foot in front of her. Her eyes widened as she realized the design Yuuka had used while chasing her with the vines.

"A jail!" Marisa guessed correctly. The extremely thick vines were all but impenetrable, and had landed all around her, effectively boxing her in as smaller vines shot out from each one to the next, turning the pillars into a living prison, several tendrils of plants having connected the pillars in an interlocking web, many of the vines having even reached across the small clearing in their midst. Flowers bloomed on each vine, growing out slightly to glare out Marisa as their petals opened, a familiar golden light in their depths.

_"Dissolve Sign – Venus Flytrap."_ Yuuka's voice was cool and refined as her hands tightened around the handle of her parasol. The ground cracking, she withdrew it, opening it and balancing it against her back once more. High above her, the flowers exploded simultaneously, bright yellow danmaku bouncing madly in their confines.

"And Marisa is _down!_" Yukari's gap floated by, the youkai of boundaries inexplicably providing a commentary as if it were a sports channel. "Seems like Yuuka is free to lend a hand someplace else. But wait! What's this?"

"Put a lid on it, you old hag! _Love Sign – Master Spark!"_

Right on cue, Yuuka's Flytrap erupted in a multicoloured shower of danmaku as Marisa exploded from the top of it, her Mini-Hakkero throwing her skywards with the force. The spell card quickly bleeding out, Marisa landed back on her broom and flew off, rapidly circling Yuuka as several magic bombs flew into the air, hovering above the two before falling again. A mad laugh, and Marisa shot upwards, a dozen bombs exploding in her wake, kicking up a massive dust cloud that took up over half the battlefield.

"Watch what you do with those, thief!" Medicine ground to a halt next to the precious-thing-collector.

Marisa laughed again. "Well, I either fight my best, or I don't fight at all!"

"You…" The living doll glanced over at her for a brief second – just as a flying knee strike folded her double and slammed her into the ceiling.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt…" Yukari winced as the doll glanced off the side of her gap.. "There goes Byakuren, seizing her opportunity! Quickly! Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B!"

True enough, the Great Sealed Magician flew out of the dust cloud, brushing off her dress irritably. Drawing her scroll, she muttered a lightning-quick incantation and drew her vajra, the golden blade forming itself once more. Coughing, Medicine glanced up and dove away as the magician swung, an uppercut blow carving a deep gash into the earth. Leaning against the barrier, Medicine propelled herself off of it, swinging a right hook across her face, light purple mist trailing her movement.

"Nice throw, Medicine!" Yukari cheered. "How's Byakuren going to handle a low-level neurotoxin?"

"Low-level _what_?" Byakuren forced herself up as the poison rapidly took effect, feeling as if she were weighed down by several hundred pounds.

"Nothing special," Medicine strolled up to Byakuren and sent her flying again with a point-blank blast of danmaku. "I just hope you don't mind choking on paralysis." Raising her hand once more, Medicine swung –

And was deflected to the side by a pinpoint burst of danmaku. Thrown off balance, she bit the dirt _hard_ as Satori landed. Rushing forward, the mind reader's eyes flickered for a brief instant as she watched her opponent get to her feet. Drawing her right hand back, Medicine prepared to guard against Satori's next strike – and was sorely mistaken as Satori rushed right by her, digging her heel in and spinning, instead slamming an elbow against the back of her head. The living doll staggered briefly before spinning, spell card in hand. _"Toxicity – Cursed Abandonment!"_

The black haze of poison generated, immediately enveloping all three of them. Rushing forward, Medicine danced around Satori, danmaku constantly leaving her hands as she laughed. "What's wrong? Can't go mind-reading?"

"And Medicine deploys some sneaky tactics~" The gap sailed by. "Using a power-disabling toxin, well done!"

"I might not have my usual power, but I still have my Recollections," muttered Satori. Kicking Medicine out of another spin, she raised a spell card. _"Recollection – Giga Flare."_

The storm of nuclear energy reverberated through the entire arena, shaking the ground. Some ways off, Marisa staggered. Recovering quickly, she rolled out of the way as the ground tore, Yuuka slicing the earth to ribbons in her wake. Grinding to a halt, Yuuka grinned as she locked eyes with the witch.

"Dammit all!" Marisa exulted as she dodged another slew of bullets. "'Yuuka's slow' my _ass!_ You're running faster than frickin' lightning!"

The flower youkai chuckled to herself as she thrust her parasol like a rapier, Marisa narrowly dodging it by crumpling to the ground and coming up in a swift uppercut with her broom, clipping Yuuka's cheek. Back in the air, Marisa raised her miniature reactor – and wrung her hand out, a stream of curses fountaining from her mouth. Below her, Yuuka smirked as the vine she summoned withered away almost immediately. With a small thud, the Mini-Hakkero lay at her feet. She scooped it up and primed it, pointing at Marisa. In her hands, the reactor began to smoke and spark, energy surging through it.

_"Hakkero Sign – Omega Spark."_

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," was Marisa's flat reaction as the laser streamed out, twice the size of Yuuka's Giga Spark. Something soft bumped into her side. Marisa turned – and was promptly blasted across the clearing as Alice's gunpowder-stuffed doll exploded, launching her out of the much more lethal Omega Spark's way. Brushing herself off, Marisa gave the puppeteer a brief grin and a thumbs-up. Alice responded in kind with a quick nod and backpedaled wildly, several craters forming in the ground before her.

"Get back here and face me, you crazy Hell-taught girl!" Darius landed deftly on the ground, the muzzle of his revolver glowing with a black-white light. Bringing it up, he shouted, _"Curse Sign – Acerbatus!"_

As the dusty skull manifested, Alice quickly summoned her two dolls to her side. Fingers dancing skillfully, a crimson magic prism formed before her, the colossal storm of energy grating across its surface, electricity arcing up and down the shield. In seconds, a small cloud of smoke formed and Hourai bounced out of it, streams of smoke still trailing from her. The skull flickered out of existence and Alice stepped forward – and immediately met Darius' crushing overhead strike with a point-blank explosive doll. Both combatants were sent flying. Getting up quickly, Alice swiped with her hands, ten dolls forming around her. Rushing at the winded gunslinger, he narrowly blocked the first strike with his sword and dodged around the next series of attacks. Closing the distance quickly, Darius sliced open an offending doll and slammed the sword across Alice's side.

Slamming against the barrier, she got up quickly and sent out a jabbing collection of dolls, forcing back the gunslinger. From her grimoire, the puppeteer drew a spell card placed in the tome as if it were a bookmark. She held it out before her and declared, _"Dolls – Lemmings' Parade!"_

The hexagram formed instantly and a small army of explosive dolls barreled out, running madly after the gunslinger, who swore and turned tail, chased in circles by the dolls. He flicked a switch on his sword's hilt, deactivating the blade and reforming it into its original revolver form. Spinning quickly, he slammed the muzzle into the ground and fired.

A white plume exploded out of the ground, directly underneath Alice's parade, knocking all of them into the air, some detonating from the force. Inside the Dream World, Alexa's eyes narrowed as she watched them fall. _On my count, Darius-sama…_

The gunslinger heeded her words and raised the living gun, carefully lining up a shot.

_And… fire!_

Instantly, Darius' finger pulled the trigger rapidly. A burst of black and white danmaku flew through the air, impacting the dolls and exploding, flinging the angry mob back down on Alice. As she got up, Darius pointed Alexa at the dog pile and fired.

Reimu staggered as the blast blew past her. Recovering quickly, she drew a set of homing amulets and flung them into the air, where they expanded and flew towards her opposite. Sneering condescendingly, Medicine slammed a hand to the ground, the compacted rock and earth cracking and softening under her toxic grip. Digging her fingers in, she lifted the entire chunk as if it weighed no more than a feather – which it didn't, under the influence of her poison. Leaning back, she tossed it forward at ludicrous speed, the rock instantly regaining its weight as it left her hands. Reimu saw the oncoming projectile and crossed her arms, taking one step backwards and fading, stepping across dimensions for a split-second.

The air wavered, and Reimu appeared, foot swinging around to connect soundly with Medicine's skull, slamming the doll to the ground. Gritting her teeth, Medicine got into a crouching position and slammed both hands against the ground, trails of green and purple tearing through the rocks. _"Unbearable Poison – Earthshaking Geyser!"_

Slow-moving bullets began to form along the paths as they moved in a crisscrossing pattern towards Reimu. The green trails converged quickly, an extremely fast plume of danmaku bursting from below as the miko leapt over it, barely avoiding being struck by the bullets. The purple trails continued to move under the earth, that slow series of bullets still rising. Twitching, Medicine clenched her right hand and watched as another set of purple and green stripes formed. Above them both, the many bullets sent skyward began to fall.

Reimu deftly slipped in and out of the barrage like an expert, slowly drifting closer to Medicine with each pass. Without warning, the miko stepped across dimensions once more, reappearing behind Medicine. The living doll swore fervently and called back the ground-bound poisons. _Too little, too late,_ Reimu thought. Seizing a handful of amulets, she tossed them directly at the living doll at point-blank range, staggering Medicine. Reimu immediately stepped forward and in two decisive steps sent her skyward with her Ascension Kick.

"Hmm…" Yukari raised hand to her chin and stroked an invisible beard as she thought. Watching leisurely from her gap, she was treated to the sight of Reimu brutally drop kicking Medicine back down to Earth. "It seems they're outnumbered. This was getting boring anyways. What to do, what to do…"

Near the edge of the barrier, she caught a flicker of movement.

An evil grin formed on her face, slowly reaching from ear to ear as her plan unfolded. "Of course…"

Before the gap youkai, countless crisscrossing lines formed, an immeasurable amount of runes running along them. As they overlapped, they formed an intricate decagram – a ten-sided star. Reaching a hand into the middle, the boundary manifest began to glow electric blue. The gap youkai's narrowed eyes fell on Reimu as she willed the borders to change.

Borders of Enemies and Allies.

Yukari drew her hand back for a moment and snapped both arms forward. The ten-pointed star followed her movement, fading away invisibly as it left her. Maybe this would make things more fun…

On the ground, Reimu reeled as if struck. Yukari's border manipulation rapidly took effect, but just slowly enough for Reimu to shoot a rude hand gesture at the youkai she knew was responsible. "Dammit, Yukari."

Everyone abruptly stopped as the barriers that made up the walls of their arena fragmented, crumbling away. Looking around, they simultaneously came to a highly distressing conclusion. But not for what was there…

But what _wasn't._

_Sukima-san's missing…_ Alexa murmured. In her master's dream world, the screen before her flickered and blurred with static repeatedly. Something was interfering, certainly, but what was it?

In the physical world, Darius felt a weight pressing down on him. The pained looks on the faces of the others told him that they felt that same foreboding. The battlefield had fallen silent as everyone readied their weapons, trying to find the source of this primal fear. Yuuka's face was a grim mask as Marisa hovered nearby, Mini-Hakkero in hand, but not pointed at anyone in particular. Byakuren gripped her vajra in both hands, ready to leap away at the slightest movement. Alice reached up to the buckle of her grimoire, hands shaking slightly as they rested on the belt sealing it shut. Alexa drank it in through the blurry haze. _Something's not right here, Darius-sama._

"You don't say," murmured Darius as he raised the revolver, sweeping it about. "Anything that scares off _Yukari_ of all people can't be good."

A shaky gasp formed behind him. As one, the group turned to see Medicine slowly stepping back in shock, eyes fixed on the spectre before her. Barely breathing, the living doll whispered, "I-impossible. Something poisoned her mind…!"

Reimu's eyes were hidden as her head tilted, her bangs hiding them from view. The grip around her gohei was loose, but the amulet-crushing grip of her other hand spoke volumes. This wasn't the miko they knew. Opening her hand, Reimu's amulets fluttered to the ground, forgotten as the miko drew a spell card from her detached sleeves. An eerie wind began to blow around them all, chilling them to the bone.

Alexa's eyes widened as she recognized the source of her interference. Surrounding the weapon in a full circle was a Matrix-esque cascade of information, unintelligible to everyone but herself. However, some tells were obvious…

Such as the red string now glaring accusingly at her.

_Darius-sama._ Alexa's voice was calm as she reported her findings. _Run. Now._

"What's going on here?" Darius hissed.

_Yukari's messed up again, and when she really messes up, she __**really messes up.**__'_

"… What do you mean?"

A sigh. Alexa prepared herself for the looming battle.

_Reimu's berserk._

And the miko struck.

**– TOUHOU –**

A darkened room. Barely large enough to hold Reimu's table at her shrine, and even that might be pushing it. A single long-burnt-out candle was mounted on the wall, only faint embers illuminating the room. The only other sources of light were the glowing wings of its occupant and the literal hundreds of charms pasted to the walls. Despite the cramped space, two figures sat opposite each other. It seemed as if one were staring at the wall, almost as if in prayer. The other occupant of the room stretched a little, six purple wings subtly flickering as they moved. Then, the figure facing the wall laughed. Nothing special; just a quiet, almost nonexistent laugh. But it was still there. "She – I? – has figured it out."

Shinki stirred, eyes flickering with distrust. Sensing one coming, she added, "And?"

"And she has set the movement of Gensokyo in motion." On the walls, several brightly glowing moons appeared, each one in a different phase. "The moon will smother the earth, drowning every last trace of our impurity."

"You can't possibly do that…"

The figure facing the wall turned halfway, a glint of madness behind her one visible eye. "I foresee it, Shinki-san. I do not bring it to fruition, nor do I prevent it."

The Goddess of Makai sighed. "Enough playing around with your enigmatic air… Cagnes."

The one she was talking to raised a hand to her own face, flexing it slowly. "Who am I? Am I Cagnes? Am I Maseriki? Or am I…?"

"Enough." Shinki's tone declared it final.

Settling back against the wall, she watched the slowly moving moon as it continued its course, blissfully unaware of its future. "At the very least, Yakumo has set down the pieces we need. I doubt even she knew it. The fate I have seen _will_ come to pass."

"…" Shinki narrowed her eyes at the navy blue-clad figure before her.

"But we have dawdled long enough." Calmly, she laid a hand flat against the wall, the many charms pasted to it stirring as if they were alive. Around the duo, the moons began to spin. "… I cannot decide. How ironic. Would you like the say in Gensokyo's fate, Shinki-san?"

The Demon Goddess frowned. "Delay it if you can. There is no need to bring upon them the end so early before their time."

A faint rumble echoed through the tiny room. "The miko is… You have begun to overstay your welcome, Shinki-san. Leave us."

For a moment, the creator of Makai wanted to argue, but a glance around her dissuaded her. Nodding respectfully to the mysterious figure, she stepped through the countless charms on the wall as if she did not even exist. As she left, the star field around the lone figure began to slow. It seemed the false moons had disappeared, leaving behind only one. The stars converged on it, extending away from it as she reached out a hand.

Her eyes shining with purpose, she smiled in the darkness. A hand reached out.

"I will deliver the end unto this world. Perhaps not now, but when the dust settles, only one will stand at the end of it…

_"Maybe even two."_

The crescent moon staff swung into the air.


	17. The Unbound Miko

**PSYCH! THERE IS NO MIKO HERE! AHAHAHAHA!**

***shot***

**Fine, I'll get back on track...**

**Alrighty guys, second-to-last chapter of this little incident! Mr. PM told me earlier today that I should clarify between Last Words and Arcanums. It goes like this:**

**An Arcanum is about equivalent to the final spell card used by Stage 6 Bosses in a regular Touhou game. For instance, Scarlet Gensokyo, Subterranean Sun, ****_maybe_**** fighting game Fantasy Heaven all classify as Arcanums. The only exceptions to this are Darius' "stolen" Arcanums, which are definitely not on the same level, and a certain future visitor... who will it be?**

**On the other hand, a Last Word is... well, a Last Word. To clarify, Last Words are only used as an absolute final attack, a take-you-with-me style attack. Imperishable Night Fantasy Heaven, Saigyouji Reflowering, (augmented) Abyss Nova, those are Last Words. Simply put, an Arcanum is a final spell card, a Last Word is a last-resort suicide attack.**

**Hope that clears things up a bit. Enjoy the chapter!**

**(Also, 60 000 word threshold breached! 100k words, here we come!)**

**– TOUHOU –**

"First Kourin, then Okuu, now Reimu! Is everyone going crazy today?" Darius complained. Next to him, Byakuren thought his words over. Interestingly, he was _right._ Unfortunately, both were cut off from their despairing reverie as Reimu soared overhead, her eyes a sinister pupil-less flat brown.

The miko stepped across dimensions, fading from view and reforming behind Marisa, sending the witch crashing to the ground with a bone-cracking kick. Reaching into a sleeve, she produced dozens of amulets and opened fire. A blur of movement saw Yuuka standing over Marisa, parasol extended to deflect the storm. "Tsk-tsk-tsk. Not a nice thing to do, miko, shooting her while she's down." Everyone around her bit their tongue to avoid pointing out the blatant hypocrisy of her statement. "Perhaps you will learn with _punishment._"

Reimu narrowed her eyes silently as the plants grew around her, vines whipping out to ram her. Pulling her legs in, she jumped over the first vine and brought out an arm to swing around the second. Landing on top of it, Reimu pushed off, gohei drawn back. Yuuka drew her parasol shut and swung it, batting aside the shrine maiden's attack. The sheer force of the strike threw Reimu off balance, allowing Yuuka to stroll forward and plant a single foot on her chest, slamming her to the ground with enough force to crack the rock. Reimu's eye slid open and rolled down at the flower youkai. A twitch of her fingers, and…

_"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal."_

Yuuka was flung off of the miko as she stood, hammered by the powerful spell card. Reimu didn't even hesitate to vault into the air after her. But as she prepared for a finishing blow, she found her strike deflected to the side instead. The shrine maiden easily recovered and floated in place, identifying her assailant.

"_Yareyare, da ze…_" Marisa pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and sat back on her broom. "Can't believe we gotta fight each other again… oh, well…" The black-white shrugged helplessly and wound up her Mini-Hakkero for a Master Spark. "Sorry, ze."

Reimu said nothing as the laser fired. She did not move until the last possible instant, reality blurring once more as she stepped off of its plane of existence. Overpowered, some people called it. A challenge, others would say. Reimu simply considered it par for the course, considering the powers of others in Gensokyo. Marisa's Master Spark faded and Reimu appeared again, a storm of amulets leaving her hands at frightening speed. Tugging her hat on tight, Marisa flew, avoiding the homing amulets as they landed mere inches behind her. Reimu frowned. This wouldn't do, would it…?

She reached into a pocket. Yes, these would do nicely.

Marisa stopped, watching Reimu inexplicably seize fire and sit down. "What the…?"

That was when the needles started flying.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity screamed as literally hundreds of needles filled the air, Reimu looking as if she were having a seizure; her manner of tossing various pointy objects unrefined, brutal – and _efficient_. All around her, the others scattered, some blasting the needles out of the way, others trying to dodge it. Judging from the yelps of pain, many of the needles had found their targets. Lowering her arms, the miko looked around.

"What just happened?" Darius peeked out from behind a boulder.

Yuuka closed her parasol. "I believe Reimu's getting serious."

"What, she wasn't serious enough?" Alice glanced out from behind her protective shield of dolls, many of whom were little more than pincushions. If that hit her…

A derisive snort from overhead. Marisa joined her on the ground. "What, you kidding me, ze? That's barely even her warm-up."

Reimu pulled at her detached sleeves, countless amulets, needles and charms falling from concealed pockets within them.

Marisa's voice quickly turned to a deadpan. "_This_ is when she's serious."

Charging at the witch, Reimu skirted around Marisa's swipe, the broomstick sailing just over her head as she dropped the floor in a slide tackle. Stumbling her, Reimu slammed a hand against Marisa's stomach, knocking the wind out of her. A flash of light, and the black-white magician was sent flying, chased mercilessly by a hailstorm of homing amulets. The miko instantaneously switched targets, blocking Satori's neck chop with her arm. Twisting the mind reader's own arm around, she quickly put Satori into an excruciating hold again, except this time without holding back as she rammed two fingers into Satori's back, making full use of pressure points to knock her out. The youkai slumped to the ground, the miko jumping back into the air immediately after.

"She just took out two of us that quickly?" Darius was dumbfounded at Reimu's skill.

"Now you know why she's the best incident resolver in the whole of her bloodline." Byakuren dodged around a kick from the miko in question, grabbing her ankle in both hands and swinging it around, pulling the shrine maiden along for the ride. Suddenly, Reimu lashed out, pulling her leg free as a needle embedded itself in the monk's arm. She winced as she pulled it out, but showed no other signs of discomfort as she leapt back into the fray. Throwing her arms out to the sides, Reimu generated a barrier around herself, Byakuren's decapitating blow instead bouncing off of the shield harmlessly. The miko dispelled the barrier as Byakuren stumbled and jabbed her gohei into her gut, forcing her back. _"Treasure Sign – Yin-Yang Orb!"_

A blazing light of orange erupted from Reimu's palm as she activated the spell card. Byakuren barely managed to form a shield in time, and even then it was barely effective enough to keep her standing. The bomb-type spell card faded and Reimu leapt through the smoke, slamming two feet into the surprised magician's chest and pushing off furiously. Byakuren fell to the ground as Reimu was propelled back into the air. Not letting up for even a second, the shrine maiden let loose with a wild storm of charms and needles, driving Byakuren several feet deep into the earth. Reimu landed once more and raised her gohei, ready to plunge down. Before she could, a pair of dolls intercepted her attack on the incapacitated magician.

Reimu turned – and was promptly sent skidding, her feet carving trenches in the earth to arrest her momentum. Lowering her crossed arms, she watched Alice procure several more dolls, forming an intricate web around the both of them. A quick downwards movement from the puppeteer, and her dolls began to spin, slowly homing in on Reimu.

A horrible screeching noise of metal rasping against metal made everyone back away and clutch at their ears as Reimu seized the nearest dolls and forced them to defend her from Alice's other dolls, the clashing swords and lances mangling each other horribly. Dropping the two dolls, Reimu wrung out her arm irritably, ignoring the specks of blood on her sleeves. Stomping towards Alice, the miko brushed past her, a hand snapping up to collide with the girl's forehead, knocking her unconscious. The puppeteer fell, one of the shrine maiden's charms draining her power even as she lay on the ground.

Behind Reimu, there was a hissing noise, as if someone had turned a valve and released a high-pressure gas. She turned slowly, effortlessly sliding around Medicine's danmaku. Barely even reacting as the doll's poison aura bit into her, Reimu retaliated with several quick bursts of charms, literally running circles around Medicine. The living doll flinched as another salvo struck her, briefly halting her counterattack. As she recovered, Reimu flickered out of existence. Medicine's eyes widened as she felt the air shift behind her, Reimu rearing up behind her, sealing amulet in hand. There wasn't any time to dodge –

_Smash!_

Yuuka lowered her parasol, once more having used it as an impromptu club. She raised an arm and opened her hand, gold energy forming in her palm. _"Flower Sign – Giga Spark."_

_"Barrier Sign – Expanding Barrier."_

Reimu unleashed yet another spell card, countless overlapping barriers forming around her and spreading out, Yuuka's Giga Spark clashing with it. Both spell cards were briefly held in place by the other's strength, until Reimu gave, allowing the magic laser through, her barrier continuing unimpeded. Both combatants were struck by their opposite's spell, the Giga Spark having struck at Reimu's feet before she could move, just as the Expanding Barrier collided with Yuuka, unable to block as she channeled her Spark attack.

A plume of smoke filled the clearing. Darius struggled to peer into the smoke as it dispersed all too slowly. With the sound of crumbling rocks, a shaded figure straightened in the wreckage, dislodging herself from the crater in the wall.

Yuuka pointed her parasol's tip into the center of Reimu's chest, one hand holding the handle, the other gripping the very base of it. A brief sadistic smile crossed her face as the weapon plunged –

Digging into the rocks, splitting them with the flower youkai's force. Reimu had seized the parasol faster than anyone could register, not able to block it, but perfectly capable of pushing its force sideways, tearing apart the earth instead of the miko. Before Yuuka could recover her parasol, Reimu jumped, spell card ready to cast. _"Divine Arts – Sky-Conquering Wind God Kick!"_

One Ascension Kick. Yuuka dodged around it with ease.

Two kicks. She couldn't dodge it, instead having to block it.

Three. Yuuka stumbled, her guard faltering.

Four. The youkai was kicked into the air, Reimu following up directly behind her.

_Five._ She was flung head over heels into the air, struggling to regain control. Before she could, the miko mercilessly continued following her, gohei raised overhead in a mockery of Yuuka's intended method of disposing of the shrine maiden. Not even realizing what was happening in time, Yuuka was buried under a small mountain of rocks as she collided with the wall. Reimu landed in front of her, and instantly pushed off backwards, twisting in mid-air to headbutt Medicine, who had been trying to sneak up on her. Ignoring the scalding agony her own head was in from direct contact with such a toxic body, Reimu furiously kneed her and dropped an elbow. She went limp in Reimu's grasp, who dropped her without hesitation.

Alexa's jaw dropped, splintering the desk beneath her. Pushing her jaw back into place, she realized Reimu was now stalking towards them. _Darius-sama, __**move!**_

Snapping out of his shock, the sharpshooter rolled to the side as a hail of needles shredded the boulder behind him. Drawing the revolver, he took no chances. _"Curse Sign – Acerbatus!"_

As expected, Reimu tossed out four charms, a blue barrier forming before her to block the spell card. As it faded, Darius leapt through his own colossal bullet, smoke clinging to his coat as he swung, catching Reimu off guard and sending her sprawling. In three quick steps, he retreated, flicking the lever on his gun to switch it into its sword state.

"Crap, she's durable!" Darius barely managed to swing Alexa into a defensive position, the shrine maiden recovering far too quickly. "What is this woman made of?"

The sword in his grip flashed, the white turning to yellow, black to purple as he pushed. A flare of purple-yellow danmaku formed before him, forcing back the miko as the sword returned to normal rapidly. A brief feeling of moving air behind him, and the gunslinger suddenly saw himself eating dirt as Reimu slammed a foot against the back of his head. Voice muffled by the ground, he brought up a hand crackling with white light and slammed it against the ground, a blast of energy knocking Reimu skyward and allowing Darius to jump back to his feet. Two spell cards appeared in his hand, one of them held into the air immediately. _"Adjudicator – Commissar of the Noble Skies!"_

The two wings manifested behind him as he immediately cast his next spell, sliding the card into the hidden recess of his blade's hilt. _"Solar Sign – Light Speed Lock-On!"_

Both wings glowed for an instant and he rocketed forward at inhuman speed. Reimu just barely dodged the black-white arrow as it blasted across the battlefield. Darius slammed into the ceiling, boulders splitting and falling from his impact. Shaking himself off, he flapped his wings once and felt the energy build up again, leaping at the shrine maiden, sword extended and ready to impale her.

_"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal: Blink."_

Reimu's image blurred, but not from crossing between worlds. Fuelled by magic, the miko deftly leapt out of the gunslinger's way, the extreme speed of her passage leaving afterimages in her wake. Stopping briefly, a burst of charms and a series of crackling diamond-shaped barriers formed around her and spread out rapidly. Unable to cancel his momentum, Darius was forced to take the attack head-on, breaking his spell card and flinging him to the ground. Getting up quickly, he began to leap back and forth, trying to find the cracks in Reimu's defense. He muttered, "Alexa, got any ideas?"

_Hitting her while she's on the move would be impossible,_ Alexa mused as she watched the miko flit back and forth. _Obviously, the best time to strike would be when she stops to cast the barriers, but then the barriers themselves protect her..._

"Guess there's nothing for it, then…" Darius took several deep breaths. "Looks like we've got to time it out.

The next several minutes were filled with frantic dodging, the sharpshooter focused entirely on avoiding the attacks. Eventually, Reimu's card timed out, and she dropped to the ground. Not even hesitating for a split second, she ran forward, dropping into a slide kick as she neared Darius. With a surprised expression, he fell, Reimu immediately turning her dive into an Ascension Kick and tossing him upwards. She made to follow, but abruptly backed off as Darius turned his fall into a lethal strike, sword poised to run Reimu through if she tried to chase him. However, it did not prevent her from using any other attacks, throwing six amulets into the air, which quickly expanded and gave chase.

Darius fell, barely twisting out of the way of the amulets. Landing on the ground heavily, he jumped up – and was immediately tossed back. Reimu lowered her hand, several charms falling to the ground after being expended at point-blank range. The gunslinger got up and tossed his sword into the air with one hand, catching it in revolver form with the other. Aiming it, he slammed a spell card into the chamber and shouted, _"Absent World without Yin nor Yang – Great Wuji Storm of Oblivion!"_

The thin laser generated, stalking Reimu as her eyes widened. She began to fly, weaving erratically, but the laser continued to track her almost mechanically. Darius grinned as the revolver's muzzle flashed once.

"Checkmate."

The wild track the gun had traced exploded violently, shaking the entire cavern itself with the sheer force. As it rapidly chased after Reimu, her eyes sharpened. It looked like she'd need this, after all.

_"Fantasy Heaven."_

**– TOUHOU –**

Reimu strolled through the wreckage idly. Ignoring the silent bodies of the others strewn about and tossed around by her most infamous spell card, the miko flipped over the gunslinger with a single foot. His eyes were closed, revolver lying silent and forgotten by his side, almost as if he were merely sleeping. Unconscious, obviously.

The battlefield was littered with boulders, shaken loose from the walls and ceiling. Many of them were simply part of the ceiling and chiseled out by the bullet hell. A nearby stream of lava revealed by the loosened rocks brought blistering heat out, ignored by the shrine maiden as she sat on a boulder, rifling through her sleeves at leisure. How she stored so many things in there? Reimu would always laugh them off and warn them they didn't want to know.

Finally, she found what she was looking for. Getting up, she pasted six sealing charms around the others. No point in letting them run free, her addled mind had said. And Reimu agreed.

The seals set up, the miko silently raised both hands into the air, sleeves flaring dramatically as a slight wind began to blow through the silent battlefield. The many sealing amulets started glowing, tracking a hexagram as the magic contained in them spread. Reimu began to bring her arms down –

_Bang! Bang!_

The miko backed off, rubbing her forearm as the sleeve smoked. The seals all burst into flame, shriveling away to ashes, which were cast off into the depths of the caves. Reimu narrowed her eyes at her attacker.

"It seems I underestimated you." Yukari lowered her fan, the edges of it still steaming from the barrage. Her eyes were unusually cold and calculating, a far cry from the mask she always wore. The chilling wind blew again as hundreds of gaps manifested, some pulling the fallen ones to safety. Most of them blinked lazily, looking around and locking onto Reimu. Yukari closer her parasol, stowing it away in a gap. "I didn't expect you to put up a barrier that could possibly shield you from my powers; well done, Reimu. Well done."

"…" The miko remained silent as she got into a fighting stance, raising her gohei warily.

The action made Yukari shake with silent laughter. "Both you and I know that wouldn't help."

Reimu still refused to say a word. Yukari raised an eyebrow. "You locked yourself into _incident mode_, I see. Clever…"

The many gaps around them blinked again, the countless eyes within them shining with an ominous light. Yukari raised her arms, slowly lifting herself into the air as the wind intensified. Her eyes colder than the deepest reaches of outer space, she uttered three emotionless words. And somehow… somehow, it sounded like more than one voice was speaking them…

**"Let us begin."**

**– TOUHOU –**

**Dayum. Serious Yukari is a dangerous Yukari.**

**Anyways, here's a taste of just ****_how_**** extreme Reimu gets during full-fledged incidents (I'm looking at you, PCB...). Also an example of why so few people pick fights with Reimu. When she gets serious, she flat-out curb-stomps just about everyone. Don't steal her donations, kids. And yes, Reimu is in fact capable of negating Yukari's gap hax. She's broken that way.**

**In case you didn't know, "Yareyare, da ze" is said by Marisa during Imperishable Night after beating Wriggle. It translates roughly to "Jeez, give me a break" though I don't understand how the "da ze" became a verbal tic, ze.**

**Next Chapter: Yukari vs (Crazy) Reimu! What will happen? No, I'm not telling you.**

**Boys are writing, please wait warmly until it is ready...**


	18. Failing Boundaries

**Yet another chapter! With this ends what I'll call the Berserker Incident. No prizes for guessing why. :/**

**Anyways, for my reviews... To Getter B. Rabbit, I suppose you're right. It's just that Mr PM (who expressly asked me to not tell others who he was) and myself tend to be rather trappy about our personal information, no matter how vague. My apologies. As for where Yuuka wandered off to, you might've played PoFV. If you haven't, she has pitiful speed in it, focused or not. Hence, fandom took it and ran with it. Besides, she's so powerful she doesn't need to bother with picking up the pace... except when she does.**

**Fluff? Heh. All in due course... And you'll get to see a much more amiable Yuuka in the next few chapters. I prefer to let things cool off a little between incidents.**

**But I've ranted long enough. Onwards to the story!**

**– TOUHOU –**

Yukari charged, fan drawn and thrown out to the side. Reimu stepped forward to meet her and brought up a hand to arrest Yukari's initial kick. A flick of her hand, and the miko backed off, her opponent wiping the blood off her fan. Reimu irritably ran a finger along the cut across her cheek. Her eyes tightened.

"Yes, yes." Yukari stepped backwards into a gap in the nick of time, avoiding a barrage of needles with minimal effort. "I'm certainly getting serious, though I'd much rather not."

A gap opened under Reimu's feet, and the youkai of boundaries leapt into the air, catching Reimu and knocking her airborne with her. As their momentum slowed, Yukari slashed with her hand, kunai danmaku generating and trailing her movement. Ignoring the nicks and scratches on her skin, Reimu forced her way through the storm, hand drawn back. Yukari fumbled, a gap opening behind her –

An iron grip seized her collar as she tried to escape. Reimu yanked back the youkai, slamming her palm against her forehead. A crackle of electricity, and the air between them _exploded_, catapulting Yukari into the ground. She brushed a patch of dust off her otherwise immaculate dress and reached up to her own face. With a small hiss of pain, Yukari tore free the sealing charm, crumpling it up in her hand.

"You're not holding back, either?" Yukari had the strangest feeling she was talking to herself, the way Reimu didn't respond. She'd have to fine-tune that later. "Fine by me." The hexagram blazed to life under her, the ground itself trembling with power. A brief grin flashed across her face, disappearing as her spell card was announced.

_"Abandoned Line – Aimless Journey to the Ancient Station."_

The 'true' form of her infamous train spell flared to life. The hundreds of gaps blinked, danmaku forming within their sockets as over a dozen extremely large gaps generated around the both of them. Reimu drew a set of charms and amulets and waited.

From within the depths of the youkai's gaps, a train whistle began to blow.

Without hesitating, Yukari raised her arms, one of her trains erupting from the ground with an almighty crash, plucking her up with it and into a gap. The many, many eyes around Reimu rolled, danmaku following their movements and gestures. A split-second flash of light was all the warning Reimu got, and she vaulted over a gap just as the train shot out of it, Yukari cackling as she rode by. The train blinked away into another gap, only to reappear moments later, trying to trample Reimu into the ground.

The miko, for her part, was doing surprisingly well. Between the train that constantly threatened to squish her, the limitless numbers of places it could appear, and the regular danmaku flying about, she was hard pressed to avoid the many things that tried to kill her. Despite this, she diligently flung homing amulets whenever she had the chance, though the damage they dealt to the ancient youkai was all but nothing.

Yukari's laugh tapered off as she watched the shrine maiden _still_ dodge every last menace around her. She stood up, _still on a train moving at literal breakneck speeds,_ and slashed with her fan. A ripple of energy darted across the battlefield, eyes forming where it landed and firing at the miko. Meanwhile, as she struggled to avoid the danmaku, Yukari sailed into yet another gap – and disappeared, every single gap in the area vanishing. There would be no more employable technique to predict her path.

The very world itself flashed for the briefest moment, and Reimu leapt back as a gap generated in the floor, letting through Yukari, still comfortably seated perpendicular to the ground. During that split-second of the youkai's presence in the real world, Reimu caught a glimpse of Yukari's mocking smile before she vanished through yet another gap. The miko remained silent, opting to throw up a barrier around herself as hundreds of gaps blinked in and out of the battlefield, just long enough to fire a bullet and then disappearing.

The rush of displaced air behind her told the miko that another gap had generated behind her. But as she turned, another gap materialized above her, Yukari speeding by without even attempting to assault her. More and more gaps appeared, just in time for the train to blast through each, eventually seeing a whole network of the train's body smothering almost all the room in the cave, as if it were a colossal snake. Slowly, the entire train ground to a halt, still jutting about the cave through the countless portals littered throughout it. It chugged forward slightly, allowing Yukari out through a final gap before slowing to a complete stop. The gap youkai's eyes flickered, blurring from their usual coy yellow to a swirling violet.

The world blazed once more, and the train's body… _shattered_. There was no better way to explain it. It simply collapsed on itself, fragmenting into countless orbs of danmaku as the many rapidly blinking gaps continued to fire. For several minutes, smoke blew through the arena, the only sound of the relentless blitzkrieg of danmaku. Finally, Yukari raised a hand. The gaps heeded her, and stopped, silence descending upon the battlefield. She lowered her arm slowly as she floated to the ground.

The smoke dissipated, revealing to Yukari…

Nothing.

Her eyes widened in shock. If Reimu wasn't there, then that meant…!

A brief sound of ripping, as if reality were falling apart at the seams. From behind the stunned Yukari, Reimu leapt out, spell card in hand. _"Holy Relic – Yin-Yang Demon God Orb."_

Yukari whirled, fan in hand, ready to block – but too late. Reimu slammed a palm against the youkai's gut, flinching her for a split second. The spell card promptly took effect, the colossal ball of energy enveloping Yukari and trapping her in the violent maelstrom. With a tremendous heave, the shrine maiden pushed off, blasting the yin-yang orb into the wall. Rushing after the battered youkai, Reimu revealed a sealing charm and brought it down.

Blasting through the pile of rocks above her, Yukari's hand lashed out, coated in an inky-black substance and looking as if it were a massive claw. She latched onto the miko's wrist, preventing the seal from reaching her. Loose pebbles tumbled off her figure as she rose, hair falling over her face. She lifted her head, a single mad red eye visible. And with a single swiping movement, the gap youkai tossed Reimu aside like a discarded toy, sending her tumbling to the ground. Her dress was torn in several places, revealing not skin underneath, but a constantly shifting miasma of darkness, as if she were nothing more than a sentient void. As if it were a living thing, her dress repaired its own cuts, hiding away her true form. "Well done, Reimu. I didn't expect you to move out of my spell so quickly. However..." The earth shook again as she began to stalk forward, fan discarded on the ground.

_"If you will not fall to danmaku, I will simply strike you down another way."_

Stomping towards the miko, Yukari batted aside the needles thrown at her, the sharpened points bouncing off her toughened body harmlessly. Snatching up Reimu by the ankle, the youkai lifted her into the air, whipping her about like a lasso before rearing back and tossing the shrine maiden with terrifying strength. Barely aware, Reimu was only able to put up a barrier just in time to soften her impact with the walls. Dispelling the barrier, she scrambled for a spell card even as Yukari charged towards her. A single well-placed kunai knocked the spell card out of Reimu's hands and to the floor as Yukari leapt into the air, legs drawn back. She slammed both feet into the shrine maiden's chest and pushed.

The wall instantly turned into a crater a dozen feet wide on either side, Yukari's tempered youkai strength more than enough to shatter it. As it was, she manifested another dark claw and stepped into the crater, ready for an assault. Reimu's eyes flung open, and she fell through reality to reappear above Yukari, turning her fall into a powerful overhead strike, flipping Yukari into the air as she bounced off the ground. Ignoring the winded youkai, the miko leapt for the spell card on the floor, only for a blast of danmaku to send it skittering away once more. Yukari lowered her hand and backed away into a gap, a hand reaching out to snatch Reimu's spell card as it went.

The shrine maiden looked about as Yukari's sinister giggle echoed through the cavernous battlefield. Every shifting shadow looked like an opening gap, every slight movement a lethal strike… Too much interference, the miko thought. If she wanted to strike Yukari, she'd have to rely on something else. Reimu closed her eyes and cast a different spell card instead. _"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal."_

The ten homing orbs generated, swirling around her as she waited for the gap youkai to resurface. A glint of red light in the shadows signified Yukari's appearance. Reacting immediately, Reimu spun around, her Fantasy Seal instantly moving onto the offensive. Yukari slammed a hand against the ground, gaps generating throughout the walls, the floor, even the ceiling as her spell card was declared. _"Fantasy Nest – Nest of Fireflies."_

The bursts of laser danmaku formed, battering Reimu as she struggled to maintain focus. Despite the spell casting, Yukari was still struck by the Fantasy Seal, unable to gap away due to using her own spell, which broke as all ten of the homing orbs slammed into her. Immediately recovering, a hand snapped up to arrest Reimu's blow, preventing Yukari from being incapacitated. With a violent spin, the gap youkai brought the miko behind her, twisting her arm into a painful position above her. Forcing her elbow to face down against her shoulder, Yukari brought down the arm, snapping the elbow joint.

To her extreme surprise, Reimu barely reacted, save for a faint tightening of her eyes. Ignoring the searing pain of her arm, Reimu dropped to the floor, kicking Yukari's legs out from under her. Snatching up her gohei with her good arm, Reimu brought it up and drove it into the youkai's gut. Gasping in pain, Yukari pushed off, leaping into the air, her gaps providing cover fire as she backed off. _"Shikigami – Chen! Shikigami – Ran!"_

Reaching into the two gaps on either side of her, Yukari pulled out her two shikigamis and tossed them, Chen bouncing about wildly, Ran calmly bemoaning her services to the youkai. Reimu sidestepped as Chen bounced by, grabbing her by the collar and spinning, using the nekomata like a flail to bash Ran down. The kitsune fell to the ground, and was slammed to the ground again as Reimu dropped Chen on her carelessly. Ignoring the two, Reimu stepped forward, eager to pay back Yukari in kind. Leaning back, the miko dodged the youkai's high kick, a hand clasped around her ankle as she tried to pull it back. In a twisting motion, Reimu spun, Yukari slamming to the ground behind her. As the gap youkai tried to recover, Reimu locked the stolen limb in position and broke it with a decisive strike.

Seizing her advantage, Reimu jumped over Yukari, slipping a hand into the folds of her dress and reclaiming her spell card. Rolling and coming up in a crouching position, Reimu threw caution to the wind and cast the spell card.

**_"Last Word – Fantasy Heaven."_**

As Reimu entered a meditative position and closed her eyes, several dozens of sky-blue barriers generated around the both of them, appearing haphazardly throughout the air and across the ground, restricting Yukari's movement to almost none. She opened a gap – or at least, tried to. A burst of holy energy reverberated throughout the air, throwing her off-balance and negating her ability to manipulate boundaries for the length of Reimu's Last Word. The seven yin-yang orbs appeared, each following its own rebounding course around the battlefield, spitting spiral patterns of danmaku as they slowly moved, converging on Reimu. Yukari knew what would happen if they reached her. At the very least…

_"Barrier Sign – Charming Quadruple Barrier!"_

Her hands flung out before her, Yukari smiled as she felt the rush of power… which was instantly extinguished as Reimu stomped once, a blast of holy energy cutting off Yukari once more, staggering her. Now, the many barriers surrounding them began to fire as well, slow-moving but extremely large danmaku bullets interspersed with the danmaku already flying. Reimu's eyes opened slightly as a yin-yang orb came to meet her, her brown eyes now glowing a shining golden colour as it orbited her, no longer firing.

Two orbs. The bursts of holy energy were now a constant wave, sapping away Yukari's strength.

Three. Four. She fell to a knee, barely avoiding the horrendously dense danmaku in her area of movement.

Five. Six. It was almost ready. The gap youkai cursed and flung herself at the final yin-yang orb as it moved to join its brethren with Reimu. A blur of movement, and Yukari's second fan was drawn, a barrier thrown up before herself as she kept the orb from reaching Reimu's side. It shrieked, spinning faster and faster as she continued to resist it, throwing bullets about wildly. She ignored the danmaku as it scorched her, black energy seeping from the cuts and scrapes in her skin.

Reimu had enough. Throwing both arms down in a crossed position, the yin-yang orb broke past Yukari's barrier, finally at Reimu's side. Together, the seven began to swirl at extreme speed, glowing so brightly it was almost impossible to look at. For the first time since the battle began, Reimu properly spoke, a barely audible whisper over the screeching whine of the yin-yang orbs.

"You lose."

Rising to her feet, Reimu splayed out both arms, a nonstop hurricane of danmaku surrounding her as she released the spell card's full power. Yukari watched the infinite storm grow closer and closer…

_No, wait for it…_ she chided herself as she prepared for the colossal barrage. _One more second…_

_Almost…_

_Almost…!_

**_NOW!_**

A ring of energy surrounded Yukari, flinging back the danmaku for a split-second as the world faded to black for the briefest instant. Her eyes blinked in that one instant, the red eyes replaced by an endless, pitiless void. Thousands upon thousands of blank eyes stared from within the depths of her pupils, all focused with the same task. And as she uttered her spell, there was no means of counting how many beings truly spoke those words…

**_"Last Word – Gensokyan Revelation."_**

**– TOUHOU –**

"... Hello?"

Silence greeted Shinki as she looked about the sealing chambers. Her six wings flapped in discontent as she lifted the table in the center of the room to reveal a colossal gaping hole in the solid wall of charms.

"She already left. Naturally." A sigh. "She'd better be careful, or _they_ might catch on. Good luck out there...

"Mima-san."


	19. Quieting Down

"…"

**…**

"… Did I show her too much, I wonder…?"

**The girl needed to learn a lesson.**

Yukari frowned at the seemingly empty gap beside her. "Against her own will. We both realize that was my mistake."

**This situation was unavoidable. Better she learned now than when there might be repercussions.**

The gap youkai shot a concerned look at the unconscious miko. "Even so… wasn't there any other way besides–"

**Enough.** The entity's tone made it clear that its decision was final. **If this girl concerns you so, take comfort in the fact that she does not know everything. Not yet.**

"… Understood." Yukari nodded politely to it.

**The universe moves ever onwards. My time runs short.** The gap flickered, before fading. Not sealing itself shut; simply disappearing from existence.** Until we meet again, Yakumo-san.**

The enigmatic Phantasm remained silent. Beside her, she felt _its_ presence fading away, but not entirely. A single, tiny gap appeared next to her. One red eye glowed to life in it, staring at Yukari. She stared back. After several seconds of consideration, she waved her fan across it. When she took away the fan, the gap had vanished. "There is no need to try and keep tabs on me. You and I both know there is no point… nothing to hide, after all."

The being's omniscience made that impossible. However, it at least receded, allowing her some precious breathing space. Sighing quietly to herself, the youkai gently scooped up Reimu in her arms, cradling her softly. A gap opened before her and she stepped in. For but five seconds, there was darkness, until another gap formed, letting her out. Immediately, Yukari's faithful shikigami, Ran, stepped forward in their hidden home, several rolls' worth of gauze strewn over her form, as if a certain nekomata had refused treatment all too energetically. "Welcome back, Yukari-sama."

Yukari noted the way her shikigami's eyes glanced over the way Yukari held Reimu close to her. She knew. Not that it made much difference, but if… _the other_ had leverage…

"Not a word to either of them," Yukari murmured as she deposited Reimu onto one of the beds. True, the lunar doctor could treat them much more efficiently, but for _some odd reason,_ that might be a bad idea.

The mental image alone of what Eirin occasionally did to her 'patients' was bad enough.

Yukari ran a finger along Reimu's face without thought, tracing both the miko's form and the boundaries that defined her. Should she… or should she not?

Her _mentor_ would likely be disappointed if she simply threw around boundaries to cobble them back into fighting condition. Let the child grow on her own, it'd almost certainly say. Smother her and she would never learn to cope when her time came. And Yukari grudgingly agreed – somewhat. She rested a hand on Reimu's forehead, easing the boundaries of pain. She could at least do that for her. Now, for the others…

Hmm. The gunslinger was holding another dream meeting. Perhaps she should pop in.

… Maybe after a quick change of clothes.

**– TOUHOU –**

_"…ke up. Oi! Get _up_, Darius-sama!"_

_KICK!_

"Ow…" Darius got into a sitting position, rubbing his side. "You didn't need to kick me!"

_"Well, you weren't getting up,"_ Alexa huffed. _"We need to discuss things."_

"What do you mean?" Darius fished around in the glowing ocean below them and procured a soft chair the same way Alexa did. It was nice, having your own little dream dimension to control.

_"This."_ With a small gesture, the living weapon brought the screen before them to life, showing footage of Yukari's fight with Reimu. _"I recorded this subconsciously for you."_

"What in the…?" Darius narrowed his eyes as he watched the battle unfold. "That youkai. What is she?"

Alexa leaned back in her chair, pushing a lock of red-orange hair out of her eyes. Again. Maybe she should cut it. Should probably dye that weird strand of hair, too…

"Lexa? What's up with your hair?"

The being in question played around with her hair a little, turning over the one strand that had begun to change colour. Up until mere hours ago, her hair was the same as always. Now, however, it seemed that one bang she never got around to managing was complaining.

Namely, it was a stark, contrasting green.

Alexa's face darkened for an instant. Of course _she'd_ be the reason behind it… Damn it! Damn this wretched cycle!

"Are you alright?"

She started as her wielder asked that. She quickly returned to her normal self. _"Nothing of concern. Now, I've run a few scans on Sukima in here, and the results were… strange, to say the least."_

Darius raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about the sudden change of topics. "How'd you scan her?"

_"This is still your dream world, Darius-sama,"_ she said with a small smile. _"Whatever you wish can become reality here. You just need the right mental image. Now, as for what I was talking about…_

_"Take a good look at this."_

The screen flickered and blurred, turning from Yukari's battle to the results of Alexa's analysis. Most of the lines of code made no sense to Darius, but the one thing he could understand was a very distressing fact.

Yukari wasn't a youkai.

Yukari was an honest-to-god _abomination._

"You're kidding me." Darius' voice was flat as he stared at the screen in disbelief. "You're _kidding_ me."

_"I'm afraid not."_ Alexa glanced back at the screen. _"Yukari isn't a single entity. She's a rainbow cocktail of some several thousand youkai, clumped together in the freakiest possible clusterfuck of a living being. If nothing else, it explains her raw power. All the experience, powers, and years of those youkai, merged together…"_

"What do you mean?"

_"If there were ten youkai, each of whom lived for ten years, they would have an equivalent hundred years of life to their name, right?"_ Alexa tried to explain the mysterious youkai to the gunslinger. _"Then Sukima, made of thousands of youkai, each of which had lived their own millennia…"_

"Has knowledge equivalent to over a million-year old youkai," finished Darius. Now he understood that. But… "What went wrong with this? How'd a bundle of youkai go We-Are-Legion like that?"

_"That's one thing I can't figure out,"_ confessed Alexa. _"However, I at least have a plausible theory on the source of her horrifyingly powerful manipulation."_ Darius gestured for her to go on. _"If you have thousands of youkai, you're bound to have at least some of them with conflicting powers. And with so many youkai, there is so much potential for a power cocktail that has a paradoxical effect on the universe equivalent to dividing it by zero and then multiplying by Chuck Norris. In a way, Yukari's creation _alone_ forced the universe to bend to her will and grant her boundary manipulation."_

"You say it like the universe is a living thing." Darius was doubtful about the theory.

_"You remember the concept of Gaia, right?"_ Alexa remained steadfast in her belief. _"I'm positive the universe itself works like that, on a much grander scale. The world itself is _alive_, Darius-sama. That's how youkai came into being – living representations of nature's might."_

Darius bit his tongue. She got him that time. He looked back at the screen. Something was off. This seemed all too easy. Someone like Yukari would probably be all over this information… so why would it be so easy to nab with a simple scan? Something wasn't lining up. It was as if… as if she didn't care about people finding this information. But then that meant…

There was something _even worse_ about her.

"Ufufufu~ so you've figured it out?" Yukari murmured over his shoulder.

The gunslinger's mind went blank. He felt the blood draining from his face as he tried to come up with a logical explanation. But before he could even begin to think of something, the youkai cut him off. "Save it; you're right. I _don't_ care about people learning about this. Preferably, I'd like it to be kept a secret. It'd make me very unhappy otherwise…"

The gap… youkai (?) stared at him, dead in the eye. "_And you won't like it when I'm unhappy._"

The barely veiled threat was blatant enough. Both Darius and Alexa nodded. They didn't know what would happen if they were to die in a dream. They weren't interested in finding out.

Yukari nodded, satisfied. She knew they wouldn't go against their word – not with a threat like that hanging over them. "Thank you. I'll leave you to your own devices. But remember; if you try digging deeper into my secrets, I'll tear out your guts and force-feed them to you~"

_Am I talking to Yukari or Yuuka?_ Weapon and wielder were thinking the same thing. Even so, they nodded again.

Without hesitation, the foreboding aura looming over them vanished, as if it had never been. "Good, good~ well, I'm looking forward to seeing you in reality, then! Bye~"

As Yukari left, Alexa let out a huge breath and slumped over her desk. _"I could've sworn we were dead…"_

Darius was just as shaken, though he remained sitting normally, quietly trying to ignore the urge to run to the next dimension screaming. "Y-yeah…"

_"Now… I think I've wasted enough of your time."_ Alexa was slowly recovering. _"I'm still working on what you requested earlier. It should be done soon, so no worries on that end."_

Darius nodded. Alexa laid a hand against the surface of the ocean and brought it straight up, tearing open a gap similarly to how Yukari might've done. The inside was a simple soft gold light, bordered with dark silver. She gestured for him to step on through. _"See you later, Darius-sama."_

"You too." Darius easily waltzed through the gap as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Once he was fully inside it, Alexa brought her hand back down, sealing the rift shut. Instantly, her face warped into an exhausted expression. She slumped down in her chair, craning her neck to look at the screen opposite her. With a wave of her hand, it turned to static. The gunslinger was taking his precious time waking up. Oh, well.

Alexa felt the green bang brush against her face. Gently tucking it behind an ear, she brought up a mirror and looked at her reflection in it. No… this wasn't right… How was that even possible…? Of course. Of all the times, it had to be now. She sighed and began silently casting spells.

It was almost time to refresh her reincarnation cycle.

**– TOUHOU –**

"I can't believe it's been a month since that… _thing,_" Darius shuddered as he slowly drank his favorite chai tea, "showed up."

Byakuren smiled across the table at him. "At least we haven't heard about him in that time."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" The gunslinger couldn't help but feel suspicious about the whole thing. "If we don't hear about him, we don't know what he's been doing."

The magician thought on that. "I suppose," she conceded. "Even so, don't go beating yourself up about it!"

"I guess you're right." Darius looked up from his breakfast as a certain god's avatar walked by, a piece of toast in her hands. "Hello, Shou-san."

"Darius-san." She nodded curtly to him. True to her predictions, Byakuren had been able to calm down the both of them, at least enough to make them little more than danmaku sparring partners. Much of an improvement over what might've happened otherwise. "Good morning. Byakuren-sama, have you seen Nazrin anywhere?"

"Please say you didn't lose the pagoda again…"

Shou frowned. "I only lost it the one time!" She sighed. "Anyways, Nazrin said she was interested in going treasure hunting. Never mind our powers are geared specifically around finding treasure…" The tiger youkai caught the looks on their faces. She shrugged helplessly. "She thinks we might've missed something. Would you like to come with us, Darius-san?"

"No, thank you," he declined politely. Still rather formal with each other, Byakuren thought. Maybe they'd solve that on their own later. "Byakuren here said we needed to do danmaku practice again." He shot the monk a look. "I mean, come on! I'm perfectly capable of defending myself now!"

"How many times have you won a sparring match with me?" Byakuren calmly took another small sip of her jasmine tea. _Delicious._

"… Zero," Darius admitted under his breath. "But really? You're nigh-impossible for most everyone to even _reach_ on Lunatic, let alone _beat!_"

The magician shrugged. Finishing her tea, she placed it in the sink and grabbed a piece of toast as she walked out. "Well, I need to prepare the protection wards so the temple doesn't get destroyed… again. Don't forget, we're sparring at noon, Darius. And don't be late this time~"

"Oh, for – _Yukari_ dragged me off! _How do you counter a nigh-omnipotent youkai!?"_

Byakuren simply giggled and left, closing the door quietly behind her as she went. Darius groaned and bumped his head against the table. He looked to Shou for guidance, but she shook her head. "I don't understand her either. If you ask me, she spent a _little_ too much time locked up, but don't tell her I said that."

With those words, Shou also walked away. Darius rolled his eyes and went back to eating his breakfast at a leisurely pace.

_Darius-sama._ Alexa's tone was dead serious as she spoke up. _You are a horribly slow eater._

"I eat however fast I want," snapped the gunslinger.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Welcome one, and welcome _all_ to Boun – er, welcome to Saint-Sanctioned Shootout! My name is Karin Muyoka, and I'll be your announcer for today!"

And indeed, it was time for the Byakuren (but mostly Kogasa)-named daily event of watching Darius get beaten to a bloody pu – train under the magician's watchful eye. For whatever reason, she had (or rather, Nue bugged her into) installed a Roman Coliseum-esque arena onboard the Palanquin. Miniaturized, of course. Even so, the event usually drew a decent amount of people to it. Yukari gapping advertisements for it didn't help matters. One way or another, it had started with Darius simply learning danmaku with Byakuren, into a gauntlet-based arena where people watched him try to fight his way up to Byakuren and fail miserably. The few times he _had_ bested the gauntlet, however, he promptly found himself being used by Murasa to scrub the deck. With his face. Numerous times.

Nonetheless, it had ultimately grown to the point that Karin had found out and decided she was interested in being the announcer for it. Sadly, only she, Darius, and Yukari got the joke.

"In one corner, we have the Zodiac's Libra – the Scales of Balance – the Duke of the Darkness, the Lord of the Light – _Darius Loyhrs!_"

As he stepped into the ring, he already felt a headache coming on. "Please… enough of my last name…"

"And his opponent today…" Karin trailed off as a pink cloud handed her a note, Byakuren's signature clearly visible on the bottom. "Well, this is unexpected! It seems Hijiri-san _herself_ has declared that today's event will be special. As it stands, the ones our gunslinger must fight are… Murasa Minamitsu!"

"It's _Captain!_ Captain Murasa Minamitsu! _There should be a 'Captain' in there somewhere!"_ Even so, the ghost captain herself stepped into the ring, earning herself a rousing cheer from the audience as she drew three colossal anchors and juggled them anyways. As they landed with a mighty crash around her, she dramatically pointed a finger at the sharpshooter opposite her. _"Darius!_ This shall be known as the day you will fight me and _fall_, with these crowds as my witness! Ahahahaha!"

"And by her side, the Great Gear that Guards and is Guard! The Blooming Flower of the Sky! And her companion, the… the… the big pink… cloud… thing! Ichirin Kumoi… and _Unzan _(please don't kill me)_!_"

"He's not going to kill you, but he doesn't appreciate being called a 'big pink cloud thing'." Ichirin shook her head as she readied her iron rings, Unzan looming over her in the same stance.

"Really? Whew, thanks, Unzan." Karin flipped over a few times in the air. "Now, both sides prepare yourselves!"

Darius raised his gun, the chamber spinning once and clicking, Alexa ready for action.

"Ready!"

Ichirin sighed and took a quick breath to calm herself.

"Set!"

Murasa grinned cockily and tugged her hat on tight before pocketing her dipper and seizing a colossal anchor, slamming it on the boards of the ship, the magically enhanced wood still cracking under the strength.

_"GO!"_

_"Capsize Sign – Sinking Anchor!"_

Murasa immediately opened up with a powerful spell card. Reaching into one of her many hidden pockets, she drew a length of chain that she effortlessly strung through the anchor's top. Tossing it into the air, she spun it above her head with the chain and let it swing around at Darius. "Come on!"

Darius rolled out of the way and instantly aimed for a headshot – and was quickly forced back as Ichirin cut him off, Unzan's colossal fist following her. Switching targets immediately, he grit his teeth and prepared for pain as he dropped to one knee and fired the revolver at his own feet.

"And there goes Darius with… a _rocket jump!?_" Alexa's tone was incredulous as she watched him fly into the air. "That's a new one!"

"That's not enough to stop me!" Murasa reeled her anchor back in with a mighty tug on the chain. Grabbing it with one hand, she carefully lined up the shot and tossed it into the air after the sharpshooter.

"Oh, what?" Darius barely twisted out of the way of the anchor as it hurtled past. "That's just not right!"

Pointing the gun below him again, Darius fired off three rapid shots and spun the revolver in his hands, metal melting away into the shape of his sword's hilt. The black-white blade formed, and he spun, bringing it crashing down on Murasa's head. The strike landed, an explosion forming on the point of contact and sending Murasa to the ground. As she tried to get up, she felt a tug on her foot, pulling her back down. "Wha – _dammit!"_

Her foot was tangled with her own chain.

"Uh oh! Captain Murasa seems to have failed to account for her own anchor chain!" Karin laughed aloud – and promptly got a faceful of anchor for her effort.

"Shove off, you." Murasa held the length of snapped chain in her hand, glaring the gravity manipulator. "Or do you want another taste of anchor?"

"You should pay more attention to what you're doing right now, Murasa." Darius hissed. As the ghost captain turned, her hand plunged into her pocket, the dipper coming out and unleashing a wild splatter of danmaku. Darius leapt back and heard footsteps on the Palanquin's boards behind him. Whirling, his sword collided with Unzan's fist, Ichirin trying to push past his guard.

"Do you mind?" Darius twirled the sword expertly, bleeding off most of Unzan's power and letting the fist's force push him down, allowing the actual punch to fly over his face.

_"Iron Fist – Unarguable Youkai Punch!"_

Darius danced across the arena floor wildly, chased relentlessly by Ichirin as Murasa stayed back, content with providing cover fire. The gunslinger rolled out of the way of another colossal fist. "Enough… damn… _punches!"_

Getting up, Darius ran forward, twisting to the side and allowing Unzan's strike to sail by a mere inch from him, though the ripping sound told him his coat was damaged. _Again._ Oh, well; sacrifices needed to be made. He smiled grimly as the next punch approached him. This was either going to work beautifully or instantly doom him. The gunslinger charged to meet Unzan – and jumped _over_ the giant fist, pushing off of the top of his hand and closing that last stretch of distance between the two of them. Unzan condensed to a smaller size, allowing for close combat as Ichirin moved to strike.

Two straight jabs and a left hook. Darius read the oncoming attacks carefully. Drawing his sword, he brought up Alexa to hack at Ichirin's wrist, throwing off her aim, sidestepping the next jab, and grabbing her hand as she overreached and lost her balance on the hook. Bracing himself, he brought down his arm, slamming both their hands against the toughened wood. A quick cracking sound told him he'd been successful as he raised his sword overhead, bringing it down in a executioner's strike. _"Curse Sign – Acerbatus!"_

_"Harbour Sign – Eternally Anchored Ghost Ship!"_

Darius felt an anchor slam against his sword, flinging it out of his hands with its weight and momentum. Immediately after, another anchor forced him to step back, and another, and another, followed by a last fastball toss that saw it colliding directly with his face. As he slammed against the walls of the arena, Murasa swept forward. "_I win, Darius! GAME! OVE–_"

"Two on one… tsk, tsk. How _rude_ of you."

Murasa stumbled back as a black trident lanced down from the sky into the deck of the Palanquin, danmaku spewing from its point of contact. A black figure rocketed past, delivering a solid kick to Murasa's head as it passed by. As she struggled to recover, it came around for a second pass, this time reclaiming its trident as it did. It shot up into the sky, a green figure dropping from it. The snake reared up and hissed menacingly as its owner shot back to the ground, the floorboards cracking under her.

Nue Houjuu stood, trident poised for a killing blow. "Yo. What'd I miss?"

**– TOUHOU –**

**I had fun writing this chapter. Especially that last bit. Hey, just because there's no incident doesn't mean there's no fights to be had!**

**Yeah, that's right, you lazy miko. I'm looking at you.**

**But who is Yukari's mysterious benefactor? The clues are there; you just have to piece them together. Similarly can be said for the connection between these four people? Maseriki? Cagnes? Mima? Alexa? Who's who? What's their connection? Or, are they really all...?**


	20. Namusan?

**And we're back with another episode of BWD!**

**Earlier, I talked to Mr PM again. He pointed out an interesting inconsistency: why would I make it a point that Darius couldn't fly, only to up and give it to him later with Adjudicator?**

**Simple: it's a _spell card._ Or a system card. One way or another, it can only be used in a _danmaku duel._ So he still doesn't get flight normally. Now, you might say that he can simply use the spell card in day-to-day life. But do you see Yukari running over beehives with trains, or Reimu casting Fantasy Heaven on some ant that was eating her food?**

**... Don't answer that.**

**Well one way or another, this flight loophole will also become crucial later. Look carefully at my wording and you'll understand.**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Ow! Watch it!"

"So ghosts can feel pain? Interesting…"

"I'm right here, stop acting like I'm not!"

"Did you hear something?"

"Hmm… no, I can't say I did. Must've been the wind."

"If I could, I would reach up and strangle you both."

Nue and Karin laughed at the bound Murasa in the captain's quarters of her own ship. After the UFO-loving youkai and Darius had royally stomped their opponents into the dirt (granted, it was mostly Nue fighting, but that was also mostly Nue committing extreme mental trauma), the gunslinger had been told to ready up, seeing as Nazrin and Shou were out, and Kogasa was... missing. And seeing as three members of the temple had just fought, that really only left one person to duel with – namely, the one person he dreaded facing in combat.

No prizes for guessing.

... The endless cries of "Namusan~" still echo in his nightmares.

"I wonder how he's doing." Karin glanced out the door that led back to the small arena.

"Eh, he's probably fine." Nue went back to poking Murasa with a stick. "Wow! Ghosts even bleed!"

"Do you mind? I'd rather not die of blood loss… again. What is this, Ghost Anatomy 101? "

"… _Yes._" Nue's expression was becoming dangerously close to a certain Lunarian doctor's whenever she got a new testing subje – _patient_. That's what she meant. She didn't know if Eirin figured out how to read minds. She wasn't going to take the risk.

"O~kay, this is starting to get a little creepy." Karin slowly got up and backed away towards the door. "I'll be going right about... now. Bye!"

_SLAM!_

"What? No! Don't leave me tied up here with _her!_" Murasa struggled against her bonds as the rasping sound of metal on metal started up behind her.

"Guess what time it is~"

"Um… a-adventure time?"

"_Wrong answer._" Nue slowly slid a scalpel along the table up to Murasa, effortlessly cleaving the wooden surface. "We're in Science class! And today's lesson is dissecting ghosts~"

Murasa squirmed even more. "Help! Someone! Anyone? Karin-san? Byakuren-sama?"

"Where to start… here? No, that won't do… this would be painful! Wait, Byakuren would have my head for it… Of course! How silly of me." The scalpel came to rest just above Murasa's neck. Nue giggled demonically. "Now you can be just like that funny redhead who uses her head as a bowling ball!"

"Seki…? Oh. _Ooh..._"

"Let's start!"

"Stop! No! _GYYYAAAAAAAA_AAAAAAAaaaaaa…"

"So noisy…"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Well; I'm screwed."

"Yes, yes you are."

"Not a single word of encouragement… just like you."

"Ufufufu~ We try."

Darius sighed at the mysterious legion opposite him. "Did you at least do what I asked, Yukari?"

"Of course we did. Who the hell do you think we are?"

"Don't say that out there. No one's going to get the reference."

"Not even Karin-chan?" Yukari pouted.

"Probably not; she hasn't even watched Gurren Lagann in years."

"Fine. Well, good luck in getting brutally destroyed!"

"You're still not helping."

Yukari laughed properly this time, opening a gap and stepping into it. Almost instantly, another gap appeared above Darius, Yukari poking her head out through it. "Oh, that reminds us. We need to have a… _meeting_ tonight. Midnight, here."

"On this ship?"

"No, on the _Black Pearl_ – _yes, this ship!_" Yukari reined herself in. "This is _crucial_, Darius. Don't miss it."

"Why can't we just hold a dream meeting?"

"We're not going to be the only ones there, Darius." Yukari pulled her head back in with that cryptic message and sealed the gap behind her.

Darius remained silent for a moment longer. Letting out a breath, he drew Alexa, in her inactive sword form. "Any tips?"

_Don't go crazy,_ advised Alexa. _I'll be helping from your subconscious as best as I can, as always._

"You're not going to tweak my instincts and make me jump into another laser, are you?"

_Hahaha – maybe. In all seriousness, good luck out there. Work to the best of your ability and we should be able to scrape our first win._

"Against her?" Darius scoffed. "As if."

_You know the saying: the less it happens, the more likely it is to happen. A first time for everything, you might say._

Darius nodded. "Thanks." And placing the sword in its modified second holster, he stepped back onto the field.

**– TOUHOU –**

"And he's back, ladies and gentlemen!" Karin declared as the gunslinger stepped out. "Looks like he's fully rested for another round. Good, because he's going to need all the strength he has for this fight! This time, his opponent–"

"Is the leader of the Myouren Temple herself!" Yukari burst out of her gap, clad once more in her referee's uniform, earning herself a glare from Karin. "The Great Sealed Magician! The Legendary Youkai Jesus! _Namusan~!_ It's Byakuren Hijiri!"

A clinking sound, and her scroll rolled out onto the battlefield. Sparking, it glowed with power and rose into the air, rapidly unfurling as its contents swirled and glowed in a rainbow myriad of colours, rays of light shooting from it. A sudden flash of light, and Byakuren stood before them in the ring. In her hands, the scroll continued to glow, rapidly casting spells to prepare her for the fight.

_"O, the world of dharma is filled with light._" Byakuren grinned as she finished her earlier prayers. The scroll began to float behind her, still casting its own spells and giving the effect of a radiant halo. A quick flash of movement, and her golden blade sprang to life in her hands, casting its glow across her face as she readied herself. "Prepare yourself, Darius. You know I don't take it easy when it comes to our matches."

"I know that all too well." Darius launched his sword into the air, the blade exploding into existence it flipped through the air, landing point-first at his feet. Pulling it out, he spun it in one hand and slammed the blade against the floor, effortlessly shredding the enchantments around it. "But I've got a few new tricks, too. Don't be sad if you lose this."

Byakuren smiled at the challenge. "And _you_ don't go into shock the next time I say 'Namusan~'."

"Bring it." Darius smirked as the black-white blade surged, eager for the battle.

"The rules of this fight!" Yukari began as she stepped into the ring between them, blowing her whistle for good measure. "Swords _only!_ Melee combat and basic danmaku are permitted, and you may have _one_ non-melee spell card! All other spells must be used in melee-oriented form! You are permitted a maximum of three spell cards! I am not trying to tip this in Byakuren's favour whose entire repertoire of magic is based around close combat!"

Karin smacked her over the head. "Dammit, Yukari, get on with it!"

"I'll pay you back for that…" Recovering, Yukari went on. "Are both sides clear?"

The two of them faced each other, a similar look of understanding passing between them. They turned back to the gap youkai and nodded.

"Excellent. On my mark!" Yukari raised her arms. "Ready!"

Byakuren drew a spell card. "Good luck, but I'm not holding back."

"Set!"

"I'd say likewise." Darius delved into his pocket and retrieved a new spell card made specifically to counter Byakuren. A twitch of his fingers, and the spell was ready to go, instantly calibrated into the sword and ready for casting at a moment's notice.

Inside his mind, Alexa leaned back and grinned, a bag of popcorn and a drink in her hands. _I'm going to enjoy watching this._

Yukari's arms dropped.

_"GO!"_

Byakuren's outline blurred, jumping forward with enough force to dent the floor beneath her where she jumped. Darius reached out and grabbed the blade, ignoring the searing pain in his hands, and forced it to the side, preventing the magician from landing a proper blow. Bringing around his own sword, the gunslinger found it deflected – not that expected any less. Taking a step forward, his pivoted on his heel, forcing Byakuren to drop her vajra and striking her in the stomach with a kick. The magician barely flinched and responded in kind by letting her arm snap out, colliding soundly with Darius' temple.

To him, it seemed as if the world had suddenly gone from straight to sideways as he instantly dropped under the impact. Shaking it off, he realized Byakuren was already coming in with a finishing blow. Reacting instinctively, he brought his sword to his side, ramming it into the floor and letting Byakuren's vajra collide with it, surprising her and making her hesitate for a brief moment. Pulling it back out, Darius put a second spell card into the hilt of his blade and swung. _"Curse Sign – Acerbatus!"_

Unlike the slow-moving electric bullet formed by his revolver, instead, a crescent-shaped, rapidly spinning arc of dark thunder formed. In another quick slashing movement, it blasted out, instantly ramming into Byakuren and batting her back, exploding as they impacted the wall. Getting up quickly, she pocketed her vajra, instead drawing two more. Darius narrowed his eyes. _What is she…?_

Then the two blades formed on either end of both vajras.

"Oh, _balls._"

"Language, Darius," chided Byakuren. A flash of light, and the gunslinger ducked, glancing behind him to watch the solid stone walls of the arena slowly slide along the cut, falling off.

"Okay, I am _not_ getting hit with that."

His resolve strengthened by the normally-mortifying sight, he leapt back at Byakuren. Raising his own sword, he blocked both of his opponent's. _Good._ Alexa watched the fight unfold. _Remember that even if she has two weapons, she can only wield both with an individual hand – it lends itself to more versatility and maneuverability, but becomes poor in standard attack/defense tactics._

"Good to know," murmured Darius. He pushed back with his sword, forcing away the magician and immediately ducking down for a thrust at her exposed chest. An explosion bloomed at the point of contact, throwing Byakuren to the ground and making Darius skid several feet. Recovering his footing, he charged at the downed magician. A quick move, and suddenly, the sharpshooter found himself upside-down and embedded in the wall as Byakuren struck back with terrifying force. Flipping the vajras once in her hands, Byakuren tossed them at him, one after another. As he parried and blocked the projectile swords, she once more drew her single-bladed vajra and drew her scroll along with a spell card. _"Superhuman Sign – Byakuren Hijiri!"_

"Son of a – she's fast!" Darius barely moved out of her strike path in time, the magician moving at preternatural speed across the battlefield. Despite technically missing, her attack still drew blood in a small cut. Darius brushed it off and called another spell card of his own. "If it's a speed match you want, it's a speed match you'll get! _Solar Sign – Light Speed Lock-On!"_

In a dramatic flaring motion, his wings formed, extended out behind him and folding in as he prepared for his own rush. Then, he took off, a whoosh of displaced air following his movement. Smiling slightly at the challenge, Byakuren got up and charged forward to meet him. Both swords collided in a massive blast of energy, ringing out over the arena as they clashed time and again, faster than the eye could see.

"What in the world's going on down there!?" Karin leaned over her announcer's stand in shock. "They're whipping up a storm!"

That was one way of putting it. They were, in fact, moving so quickly that a small-scale tornado was generating between them, growing every time they crossed swords and backed away again, circling each other at that same impossible speed.

Alexa grit her teeth as she stared intensively at the screen, hands curled around twin joysticks. Around her, several lines of code flickered back and forth as they blinked white, turned to black, then became a blazing red for a split second and settling back to white. _That'll teach me to think of danmaku as a video game…_

As it was, Darius was barely keeping up with his own speed. Only his reflexes, honed by this same relentless training, and Alexa's diligent input prevented him from suffering an instant knockout. The gunslinger caught a glimpse of Byakuren on the opposite side of the whirlwind. Jumping into the tornado to meet her strike, he arrested the sideways slash by bracing his own sword against his side. As it was, her excessive strength still caused him pain as he tried to distribute the weight across his body evenly. Something was sprained _again._ He followed up her strike with a quick roundhouse before she could recover, not enough force to injure, but enough to at least stagger. She reeled for the best part of a half-second and rose – to the sight of a sword being shoved forward to make sound contact with her face. Reaching up, she used Darius' original tactic against him, grabbing the blade and driving it into the ground next to her. Using Darius' arm like a ladder, she pushed off over him, landing a solid kick in his face as she went. Landing deftly behind the stunned sharpshooter, she drew another spell card.

_"Hijiri Arcanum – Angirasa Veda!"_

Darius felt a crushing blow to his gut as Byakuren rammed into him headlong, dragging him along with her mad charge. As she reached the edge of the arena, she leapt back, her iconic lotus petal sigil forming behind her. Stopping in place, she drew her scroll and raised it to the sky above her, chanting rapidly. With the final word, four lasers blasted from the smaller lotuses of her inscription, digging Darius even deeper into the walls.

"Oh, you are _so going to get it!_" The rocks trapping him erupted, flying away as he lowered his revolver, the muzzle red-hot and steaming. Ignoring this, he reverted to sword form and unleashed his hidden ace.

_"Law and Order – Execution Edge!"_

The sword erupted, the black half retreating to the very edge of the blade. The white half shined brightly, turning from pure white to a stained rusty gold. Holding it skywards, it doubled and then _tripled_ in size, becoming little more a colossal ray of light, barely contained in his hands. He leapt into the air, black and white wings still active as he flapped them slowly, swinging around the colossal beam of light as if it weighed no more than a feather.

**"FALL!"**

Far below him, Byakuren paled as she watched the compressed energy release, a golden light washing over the arena as he rocketed down like an avenging angel. Without a single word, she silently crossed herself, watching the infinite light erupt once more.

The ensuing explosion could be seen from one end of Gensokyo to another.

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius collapsed to his knees, panting as he struggled to remain conscious. "_How?_" He looked up, blood trickling down one eye. "How'd you possibly force your way through that?"

Byakuren sat down in front of the dazed gunslinger, patting him on the head. "Every lady has her secrets~" She showed him a spell card – specifically, one that was most certainly not stolen off of a certain demon goddess.

"… Typical." Darius keeled over. "_Tasukete, E~rin…_"

"Oh, you'll be fine in a moment," snapped Yukari as she floated down to the ring. "And the winner is Byakuren!"

_Well, we almost got there._ Alexa tried to comfort her master, though it wasn't quite working. _We whittled her down to her last spell card! That's worth something, right?_

_… Right?_

"Don't remind me." Darius muttered as he stared off into the distance.

Byakuren looked back at him. "But really, you actually did quite well. Even if you had to practically kill yourself get there." She plucked up the gunslinger, heaved him over her shoulder, and walked off, Darius too tired to complain about being tossed around like a sandbag. "Come on; you should probably rest for a bit."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Where's your ghost tail?" Shinki surveyed her rival across the table over interlaced fingers. Around them, various demons hustled and bustled about.

"It was always easier to float than walk like this…" Mima glanced up and offered her a dish. Her crescent moon staff was leaned on the table idly. "Tempura?"

"No, thanks. I should ask Yumeko how she made that, anyways. Actually, why do you even eat? I thought you fed yourself with–"

"I eat the same reason a lot of the others do," shrugged the spirit. "Not out of necessity, just habit." She raised the plate a little higher.

"Geh. Fine." Shinki took a small piece of the shrimp and nibbled on it. "Still doesn't compare to my usual favourite."

"You know getting human flesh is rare enough. Yakumo would have both our hides."

"_Yours,_ probably." Mima glared daggers at the demon goddess.

"Now that's just uncalled for." Mima bit into her dish with ferocity. "If it wasn't for that damned Hakurei, we both know who would've won."

"Hmph." Shinki leaned back haughtily. "All banter aside… how's _she_?"

"Doing as well as you'd expect; maybe even better." Mima stared off into the distance. "They came real close to scraping through. She might actually be growing too quickly."

Shinki gave the spirit a long, hard stare. "You're not going to extinguish her, are you?"

Mima laughed. "How could I? She's the perfect specimen… a fine example."

The demon goddess nodded and got up, staring out the arched windows of her castle. "A barren wasteland, they called it. After bringing out so much good and evil… which one is my precious Makai?" She looked at the distant lights.

"… I wonder how Alice is doing…"


	21. Final Boss for Dummies

Darius stumbled over the rocks, tripping as he ran under the light of the moon. "Why? Why'd this have to happen?"

He took a spill as his foot got caught on a root, pushing himself back up. Behind him, he could still hear _it_ moving through the undergrowth, searching… for _him._ Breathing heavily, he stopped moving entirely, heavy pants suddenly becoming dead silent as its terrifying figure stopped on the opposite side of the tree he'd hidden behind. Slowly, he could hear its neck creaking as it turned. For several seconds, they both remained still. With a disdainful grunt, it began to move away.

Darius let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness…"

_"Urameshiya!"_

"AH!" Darius jumped a mile into the air as Kogasa popped out. "Kogasa, you idiot! Don't be so loud or that thing might – urk!"

He swiftly clapped a hand over the surprised karakasa's face as he heard the footsteps return. _Please don't notice us, please don't notice us, please don't notice us, please don't notice us…_

**"Found you~"**

Yukari Yakumo towered over him, the youkai legion clapping a hand around his shoulders and lifting him up. "It's about time we had our meeting, don't you think?"

"What… what's going on?" Darius fell into a gap that spat him out onboard the Palanquin again. This time, there was no one in the arena. There was simple silence – save for Murasa's snores below deck. Yukari glanced at the door to her quarters.

"Good, she's asleep. But what if she wakes up? Oh, of course – let's see, a boundary of hearing here, boundaries of sleep and waking there… done." She looked back to the gunslinger. "Now, this is why I needed you to come to our little meeting. Come out, girls."

Five gaps appeared silently, unceremoniously dropping their cargo and vanishing afterwards.

Yuyuko looked around blearily; she'd just woken up, it seemed. "… Food?"

Remilia got up and dusted herself off as elegantly as possible. "It's times like these I'm glad vampires are nocturnal. Oh, hello, Darius-san."

A blue-haired girl with peaches on her hat stumbled to her feet. "What the – Yukari? You… _you!_"

"Hello, Tenko-chan~"

"Ah, give it a rest," mumbled Suika. She tried to take another swig from her gourd and promptly fell over instead. "Whuzza… what hit me?"

"Unyuu?"

"Yukari-san, please give us a warning next time." Eirin tried to restrain Kaguya with only her bare hands as the princess rapidly went crazy.

"No! I was on floor 254! One more minute and I could've cleared the impossible dungeon! _WHY!?_" Kaguya broke down in Eirin's arms.

"Good, everyone's here." Yukari nodded to herself, satisfied.

"Yukari, what is going on here?" Darius hissed at the gap youkai.

"You participated in two official incidents and one unofficial one: Nineball Seraph, Berserker, and… _Mannosuke._" Yukari's eye twitched. Waving it off, she continued. "I decided it'd be in your best interests to properly enjoy the full incident experience."

"… Answer the question." The gunslinger began to finger his holster edgily.

"Gah, fine. Look around you; what does everyone here (you and I excluded) have in common?"

Darius glanced at them. Yuyuko, Remilia, Suika, Tenshi, Okuu, Eirin, Kaguya – "They're all final bosses…" He stared at her. "I swear on all that's holy, if you're going where I think you're going with this–"

"I am~" Yukari pulled out her fan and eyed Darius over the top of it. "We – well, Yuyuko and I – have thought about it, and we've decided. _You're_ the next incident. Ufufufu~"

_Piss._ Alexa banged her head on her desk.

"Not so eloquent, but that's how I expected you to react." Yukari giggled again.

"That explains you two. What are the other four here for?"

Yukari thought on that for a second. "Why did I…? Oh! Right! We need to show you how to be a _proper_ final boss!"

Remilia looked at the youkai of boundaries. "I did not agree to this."

"I'm here because Suika dragged me here," huffed Tenshi.

"... I came… for the… the booze?" Suika continued flopping on the ground like a fish out of water.

"Unyuu?" Utsuho was still confused, apparently.

"I'll take a wild guess and assume your Elixir is doing you plenty more good than bad." Eirin glanced at Darius while still patting the quietly sobbing princess' head.

"We'll never get anywhere like this." Yukari facepalmed. She opened a small gap in Utsuho's forehead and plunged her hand inside. With a few quick movements, the hell raven stiffened and then quickly settled back down. "Much better."

Darius watched Okuu shake her head as if trying to clear it of some pesky insects. "Um… you okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine." Okuu glanced at the others. "Now, Yukari said we're here to teach Darius-san about being a final boss, right? Well–"

"Okay, what the _hell_ did you do to Okuu-san?" Darius whipped around and glared at Yukari.

The youkai legion shrugged. "Just cleared up a few borders in her mind. We need her to have proper mental functions for this." She looked at Suika. "I'd do the same to her, but something tells me she'd kill me for making her sober."

"I really want to kill you right now." This time, Okuu said those words, running a hand along her reattached control rod menacingly.

"Oh, do it afterwards." Yukari looked at Darius. "Now, I'll send you between them to pick up some tips on how to make a good final boss. Try not to listen to Remi too long, though, or you'll have too much charisma."

"I... I don't… what?" Darius was baffled.

_She wants us to start an incident, Darius-sama,_ clarified Alexa.

For several seconds, no one moved. Then Darius crashed to the ground, weeping softly. Ignoring her wielder's mental breakdown, Alexa looked back at Yukari through her dimensional screen. _But why isn't Byakuren here? Isn't she a stage 6 boss too?_

"She wouldn't agree to this." Yukari rolled her eyes. "What did you expect?"

The final bosses gathered there shot a look at each other. They knew _exactly_ why she hadn't told the monk…

"Well, time to start! Get up, Darius!" Pulling the gunslinger back to his feet, she pushed him at Yuyuko first. Without missing a beat, the ghost princess caught him, pulled up two cushions, and sat on hers, somehow producing a cake in the process.

"The first thing you need to know is that if you must be a supervillain, then you must also be overly dramatic no matter what!" To emphasize her point, Yuyuko struck an epic pose. Darius facepalmed. "It's true!" She cleared her throat, calming down a little. "But really, you have to be dramatic and in general spectacularly evil awesome."

"Aren't those different?"

"Not the way you're going to use them." Yuyuko swallowed half her cake in one bite. "If you're going to be one, you have to be the other. And if you're going to be evil…!"

"Alright, I get it! I get it!" Darius jumped up and pulled Yuyuko down before she could make another epic pose.

"Okay~" The ghost princess giggled. "Now, the next thing you must master; some sort of bullet-firing backdrop of any kind."

"What?" The gunslinger raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I have my Ayakashi Fan. You know; the big one I use for my spell cards."

"Oh, that… right."

"Even Byakuren does it! You've seen her crazy lotus spells!"

"Huh. Well, what do I use?"

Yuyuko leaned in and whispered something into his ear. Over the next several seconds, his eyes widened. "That's a _terrible_ idea. Brilliant, but terrible."

"Are you going to use it?"

"Well, yeah, I guess…"

"Good! My job's done! Food time~" With that, Yuyuko floated away into another gap.

Yukari closed it behind her and sighed. "Always about food…" She caught Darius' look at her. "Don't be like that! Come, come, the others are waiting."

Remilia had apparently taken to Byakuren's chair in the arena, and was now sitting on it in a refined slouch. How she made relaxing on a throne charismatic, no one else would quite understand. Her glass of blood, procured from seemingly nowhere, sloshed in her hands as she watched Darius over it. "Power and speed are excellent and vital parts of warfare," she began. "However, bear in mind that not every fight must end with casualties."

"Um, most fights aren't even letha–"

_"Silence!"_ Remilia stomped a foot on the ground. "Petulant humans… nonetheless, after defeating – no, maybe even before you fight – an opponent, it is always possible to sway them to your side. There are many ways you could do this, Darius-san; charisma and elegance, a silver tongue and natural persuasion, quick charm and wit, blackmail and torture… there are many ways you could go about this."

"Did you really have to point out the last two?"

"They are underhanded, but efficient methods." Remilia finished her glass and set it on the armrest of her chair. "Sadly, I cannot educate you on the finer details of my techniques – you'll have to discover them on your own."

"Wow, that was helpful…" Sarcasm galore.

"Be grateful I wasted my time on you, mortal." Remilia sniffed. "Move on."

"She's not very nice for a little girl," muttered Darius as he left.

"I heard that! And I'll have you know I'm well over 500 years old!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, _Grandma Remi!_"

"Auu~ don't call me that!" Remilia suddenly had tears in her eyes for some reason as she ran off into a gap. "Sakuya~ he's bullying me!"

"… _What?_"

"Ignore her," laughed Yukari. "She has charisma breaks every now and then."

"Everything all the others might teach you is good and all, but I can show you the most important of them all!" Tenshi rose to her feet, the skies crackling as the legendary Hisou no Tsurugi formed in her hands. Lightning flashed, the ground shook, and thunder rolled across the earth at her command.

_"Dramatic weather timing!"_

"How the hell do I do that?" Darius deadpanned.

"I… have no idea." Tenshi stowed away her sword. "Wait, yes I do! Here, have a keystone." She pushed the small rope-bound rock into his hands.

The gunslinger held the fist-sized rock and examined it. "I don't get it."

"Place that wherever you're going to fight and I'll see what I can do to give you a bit of fancy weather. Temperaments are my specialty!" Tenshi thumped a proud fist against her chest at the boast.

"She's just showing off, Iku's the one who was throwing around the lightning." Suika flipped off Tenshi silently as she went back to her gourd.

"_Suika!_" Tenshi was scandalized. "Don't tell him that! I almost managed to make a good impression, too!"

The little oni laughed. "Well, I ain't got any advice. Maybe another time!" And, beating Tenshi into the dirt, she picked up the barely conscious Celestial and wandered off into a gap. As Tenshi tried complaining, Suika gave her another solid punch. "I thought you liked this stuff!"

"I _don't_ like it!" Tenshi protested. "I'm just… trying to get better at withstanding pain!"

Suika snorted. "Suuuuuure you are…"

Darius watched in slight disbelief. "That was a Celestial?"

"A masochistic one who got into Bhava-Agra by tagging along with her parents, but yes. That was Tenshi Hinanawi." Eirin gently set down her sleeping princess. "Now, if you're going to start an incident, you need to make it something spectacular so that others actually notice."

"But what would attract their attention?"

"Anything really big. Or really small, to be honest. That miko has low standards." Eirin thought on it for a moment. "Really, anything would probably do. Stealing the moon was what I did. Yuyuko-san over there stole the spring. The Celestial threw around earthquakes as an excuse to fight."

"Hmm…" Darius pondered his options. "Sorry, I can't come up with anything."

"Perhaps if you used your natural manipulation powers," prompted the doctor. "If you can alter balance… well, think of it in as abstract a way as possible."

"Abstract?"

"Vague concepts, metaphors, similar things. They all have a root in solid fact. It's how a power as meaningless as manipulating borders suddenly becomes so powerful. Your power is already powerful enough when taken at face value. If you expanded on it…"

Darius suddenly had a stroke of inspiration. Eirin nodded in satisfaction. "It seems you have an idea for your incident."

"I do. Except I'm probably going to need a helping hand with it…"

"What's your plan?"

"Well…" Darius wrote his plan on a slip of paper and handed it to Eirin, who read it over quickly and shredded the pieces.

"Brilliant." She grinned. "Granted, it's likely that Yukari-san and Tenshi-san will be able to boost the efficiency, too."

"I have a plan for getting both of them." Darius fingered the keystone in the pocket of his repaired coat.

"Then my work here is done." Beside her, Kaguya whimpered in her sleep and held her arms out slightly. Eirin chuckled. "It seems Kaguya-hime will be waking up soon, and she'll be _very_ hungry for her games. I will take my leave now."

"Ah, geez…" Darius sighed and rubbed his temple as the Lunarians disappeared. "All this just to start a simple incident…"

"They forgot something crucial." Utsuho floated down next to him and tucked in her wings.

Darius flinched as he felt the heat rising from the hell raven. "Sorry about what happened a month ago…"

She shrugged. "Sweep it under the rug and hope it doesn't kill you with radiation poisoning." Okuu caught the terrified look on Darius' face. "I'm kidding – if I was actually radioactive, everyone I've ever met would be dead already." She gathered herself. "Now, as for what I was talking about, you should think about your spell card deck."

"What do you mean?"

"Final bosses are only permitted six spell cards maximum – usually, at least." Okuu shrugged. "There's exceptions sometimes. Not that often, but it happens. Anyways, one of them has to – _has to_ – be a survival-type Arcanum."

"Okay, Arcanum I get. But survival?"

"It runs purely timer based - you're invincible so long as it's active. Pretty much, the only way for it to break is for it to time out." Okuu tried to recall more details. "Oh, right! It has to start off simple, but become more and more complex as your health or timer depletes."

"An example of this being…?"

"Two examples, both from Yukari-san here." Okuu looked at the gap youkai. "Boundary of Life/Death and Danmaku Bound Field, right?"

"Correct."

"Can you show him the video?"

Yukari shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

And, gapping out a small laptop, she tapped off a few buttons and gave it to Darius.

"Holy f – _what_?" Darius stared. "What sorcery is this?"

"Yukari fooling around." Okuu cut off the gap youkai before she could speak. "It's true, so the template isn't forbidden!"

Yukari pouted. "Fine~"

"So, you understand what you need to do?"

Darius hesitated. "Well, yeah, I guess…"

"Relax. You got time." The hell raven frowned. "At least, I'm assuming if Yukari doesn't decide to jump the ball."

"I won't," she promised.

"Oh yeah, one last thing: Last Words. Learn to use one." With that message, Okuu stepped through a gap and staggered as Yukari ran a quick border over her. "Unyuu?"

"Why'd you do that?" Darius watched the once-more confused hell raven fly around in a circle and bonk her head on a wall.

"Cirno," was her curt reply.

"… Oh…"

Yukari pocketed her fan. "Now, I believe you have everything you need for this." Her eyes hardened, changing from yellow to violet. "Remember; do _not_ let this slip. Do not tell anyone but myself or Cagnes. Prepare everything in secret. And whatever you do, _don't simply walk into Mordor._"

Her cryptic message delivered, Yukari returned to her normal self, eyes dulling again. "Well, it's getting late. You'd best get to sleep, or Byakuren might think you were doing naughty things with Reimu-chan."

"Oh, oka – _where the hell did you draw that conclusion?_"

Yukari giggled. "Good night, Dari-chan."

_"YUKARI!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

"So… what do you think of the boy?"

**He's adapted well to Gensokyo. I expect this incident will turn out well.**

"Mm-hmm. And what of our beloved little Cagnes?"

**Foolish child. You know as well as I do that she is dabbling in something she can never hope to control.**

"Are you… concerned for them?"

**Mock me and you will regret it, Yakumo. However… I am not interested in seeing your time come early; something that may come to pass if they continue unabated.**

"… Thank you."

**Speak not a word of it. Such words display excessive intimacy, something we do not share.**

"That can be agreed on."

**Indeed. For what purpose does something as fleeting as an emotion have?**

**What dimension could possibly be saved from its demise with ****_love_****?**

"…"

**… Disgusting. Emotions only cause them to act rashly and without thought. And when those in power set free their emotions, nothing but disaster reigns at the end of time. However, I believe you are quite familiar with this concept, aren't you?**

**_'As an eternity falls silent before its end, and no souls tread the world, she with the blessing of the heart of the universe shall stand alone, save for the one who lives his life in the shadows. They will be the Yin and Yang, the good and evil, a truth and a lie…'_**

**You know how it ends.**

"Yes…

"_'As the lone survivors of a wrath mightier than the dimensions themselves, they shall stand in its place. Together and apart, free and imprisoned, order and chaos…_

"_'Bound and Unbound…'_"

**_"Balance."_**


	22. Land Crasher

**Quick Note: Chapter 5 was updated to contain more information about what I feel spell cards should work like (merges fighting games and shooters). If you read this before it was fixed, please check back or some things might not make sense!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Good morning, Darius!"

"Oh, morning, Byakuren."

"You seem tired. Did something go wrong?"

"Aside from you blasting me into next week, no." Darius finished his breakfast and unslung his coat from the corner of his chair, throwing it on.

Byakuren giggled. "Well, I'm going to Kourindou later."

Darius looked up. "Why?"

"I'm not sure." Byakuren laughed as the gunslinger crashed to the floor. "Well, I'm kidding! There might be a clue as to what Rinnosuke-san might be in there. I was interested in giving it a quick check, just in case."

"I guess I'll tag along. It's not like I'd be doing anything today." Darius checked his pockets. Alexa, check (_your pockets are stuffy, Darius-sama!_). Keystone, check. Cash, check (thanks, Nazrin). Spell card deck, check. Other assorted random items… check. "So when are we leaving?"

"Right now!" And, grabbing Darius by the back of his coat, Byakuren dragged off the sharpshooter.

"Wait! What? Do you even know where we're going…!" His voice faded away into the distance as she sprinted at top speed.

"Huh. How'd she notice me?" One of the potted plants disfigured, revealing itself to be a disguised Nue. "I need to work on these disguises. Better talk to Mamizou again…"

**– TOUHOU –**

When they got to Kourindou, they found it in shambles. That was to be expected – no one had lived in it, let alone cleaned it for over a month now. Most of its wares were still in top condition, albeit dusty. The milk had expired. Darius continued throwing things over his shoulder, ranging from half a laptop, to some old phones, to something that looked suspiciously like a Necronomicon. Wait, scratch that last one – he held onto the book for later. Wasn't able to stop it from biting his hand, though.

"I don't understand…" Byakuren ran a hand along the walls, watching mortar crumble away between her fingers. "If it's just a month old, why is it breaking down?"

"Actually, now that you mention it…" Darius got up as well. "Alexa, any ideas?"

_Stress lines in the wall indicate extreme blunt impact. Someone's been playing with danmaku around here and probably hit the shop a few times. Don't worry about it too much, but keep an eye out._ Darius relayed the living weapon's words to Byakuren.

"But we're _inside._ How does a stray bullet fly through one wall, but not the other?" Byakuren hummed thoughtfully. "Something's not adding up. And when we came in, it looked like it was fine. That means someone's been using this as a training ground."

"But who would…?" Darius' eyes widened as he heard Alexa's warning.

_Someone's coming to the shop! I'm picking up three signatures, and one of them is at an extremely high level of what the hell is that; hide NOW._

"We've got visitors," muttered Darius. His eyes quickly fell on a decently large box – enough to hide in, certainly, and it even had a small hole so he could see what was happening outside. Byakuren picked a cabinet/closet, pushing the contents onto the ground and crawling into the cramped space, wrinkling her nose at the pile of Rinnosuke's robes on the ground. Just as she closed the door, the main entrance swung upon with a bang, admitting three strange figures into the shop.

"Renko, I keep telling you this is a terrible place to train!"

"No one's going to notice, Mary. Give it a rest!"

"Calm down, you two."

_Whump._

Darius watched in slight disbelief as his old friend Karin grabbed the two girls by their heads and slammed them into each other. Both Renko and Maribel staggered back, clutching their heads. "Are you calm now? Good. Now, we came here today to refine your spell cards. You've got the danmaku production down, you've got firing it, but you still fight like wild anima – wait." Karin suddenly stiffened. A chill ran through the air as she raised her arms slowly, purple energy dancing at her fingertips. "Step outside."

Darius realized too late what Karin was planning. As he moved to step out of the box, Karin brought her hands down. _"Graviton Sign – Polaris Compression!"_

The entire shop shook, gravity suddenly smashing down on it. The windows cracked as almost everything in the shop tumbled to the ground at speed. Sure enough, Darius' box promptly crumpled under the pressure, spilling him out. Similarly, Byakuren tumbled out of the closet, gaping at the (thankfully clean) loincloths that had fallen out of their boxes. Karin swept over to the winded Darius, snatching him up by the neck and slamming him against a wall, a burst of gravitational energy pinning him to it. "_Who are you and what do you want with_ – oh. Oops."

"Dammit Karin…" Darius coughed as he rubbed his now-sore throat. "Was that really necessary?"

"Sorry." Karin laughed sheepishly as she helped the gunslinger to his feet. "I thought you were another pair of youkai trying to set an ambush for us…"

"Well, no harm done." Byakuren wrung out her dress, expired milk dripping from it. "Except for this, I guess."

The others laughed. Eventually, Maribel poked Karin's side. "Karin-sensei, who's he?"

"Oh, he's Darius Loyh – just Darius. That's an old friend of mine." Karin smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"Hello again, Renko-san. Maribel-san." Byakuren waved from the other end of the shop. "It's been a while."

"You know these two?" Darius looked over at the monk.

"They're outsiders like you. Well, they're slightly different." Byakuren began explaining. "Maribel-san as the power to see boundaries and can cross into Gensokyo in her dreams. Did Yukari finally decide to let you in properly?"

"Hmph." Renko crossed her arms. "Yes, but I have a power too!"

"But it's not really power," teased Maribel. "You just taught yourself to read the sky~"

"_It's a special power to me!_"

Karin ignored the two of them, sitting down next to Darius instead. "So, why have you come here?"

"We were looking for clues on where _that_ might be. You know what I'm talking about." Darius fought the urge to retch. "Well, how about you?"

"Met these two a couple weeks ago." Karin gestured to Renko and Maribel. "Yukari told me to teach them how to not die here, so I brought them here to train. And – well, look at this face! Maribel, go on."

"I can't just do it on command! I'm not a pet!" Maribel complained.

"Come onnn…"

"No!"

"Come onnnnnnnnn~"

"Are you going to keep bugging me if I say no?"

"_Yes._"

"Fine…" Maribel closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again, all teary-eyed and chibi looks and cat features. "Pwease teach us, Karin-shama!"

Everyone else looked away immediately, stifling their moe-induced squeals. Darius coughed out, "I see what you were talking about."

Maribel shook herself roughly, magically restoring herself to her normal appearance. "See? I can't do it right!"

The gunslinger stared. "But you just – I don't – that was so – I give up."

Byakuren laughed as she pulled Darius away from the wall he was using as an ironing board for his face. "He gets like this if you break him."

"Well, you need a hand in looking around?" Karin turned over a broken 3DS in her hands. "Ooh, too bad it's broken…"

"No, not really." Darius waved off her offer. "We're doing fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Karin."

"If you insist… come along, Renko; Maribel!"

"Alright."

"Coming, Karin-sensei!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Darius."

"Hmm?"

"Are you _sure_ you're alright? You've been on edge lately…"

Darius shifted uncomfortably. She couldn't learn about whatever it was Yukari was planning. "I-it's nothing. I'm fine."

"You can tell me – we're friends, right?"

Darius could see Byakuren's concerned face in the corner of his eye. "I… do we really need to do all this?" He gestured around them. "After all, _he_ would probably just show up on his own."

"But if we do this, we might get a clue on his weaknesses."

"Oh. I guess you're right."

Silence fell between them as they continued working. The hours ticked by as they slowly dismantled Rinnosuke's shop and put it back together as they went. Eventually, Byakuren looked up and realized the sun was setting. "Oh dear! We've been at this all day. We should pack up and head back." She looked at whatever it was she was currently holding in her hands. It seemed to be some sort of electronic from the outside world. There was nothing on it. "Did you find anything, Darius?" Several seconds passed by before she noticed she wasn't getting a response. "Darius?"

The gunslinger gazed solemnly at the setting sun, a strangely flat object in his hands. Byakuren sat down next to him. "What did you find…?"

It was a picture of Rinnosuke when he was a child – maybe pre-teens. With him were two siblings – another brother, and a sister. A hand on the shopkeeper's shoulder and frozen laughing in that one shot was a gray-haired gentleman – almost certainly his father. Seated comfortably behind the others, with her daughter on her lap, was who appeared to be Rinnosuke's mother. Something about the picture quietly set both of them on edge.

"Do we have to?" Darius murmured quietly. "You and I both know he's almost certainly too far to be saved. Eirin-san's already said that she can't restore him. He can nullify Yukari's border manipulation – however that's even possible. He can even override spell card rules. As it is…" He trailed off, but the implication was clear.

"But can he really break spell card rules?" Byakuren found it somewhat doubtful. "Not even Remi-san can do that."

"We don't know his powers," explained the gunslinger. "It's entirely possible that he can."

"Don't assume the worst." Byakuren frowned a little.

"I'm not. I've spoken to Yukari personally about him, who consulted Remi-san. And she confirmed it. If things continue on their course, then when we fight him, one side will…"

"Don't believe everything they say." Darius started as he felt Byakuren's hand slide into his own. He finally looked at her, a small smile dancing ever so subtly on her lips. "Not everything follows the set path; if that's how the fight ends on that course, we can simply… make another."

"Byakuren…" Darius looked away again at the sunset. He chuckled quietly. "Not quite the best place."

"Don't tease me," muttered Byakuren, but she playfully reached over and flicked his forehead anyways.

They watched the sun slowly set, its light fading slightly with every minute. As the fireflies began to come out, Darius got up, dusting off his coat and offering a hand to Byakuren. "We've wasted enough time, right? The others will be concerned if we take too long."

The magician smiled and accepted the extended hand. "That they will. But they'll just have to wait, hmm?"

**– TOUHOU –**

Yukari smiled at the two, watching their retreating backs. She noted the way their hands interlocked again. "Oh, so it's that way?"

Karin opened an eye lazily behind her, floating in the gap youkai's pocket dimension. "Don't do it. You probably know how important this is – to both of them."

"Certainly…" Yukari closed the tiny gap, pulling her head back in. She turned to face the gravity manipulator, a brief thought entertaining her; really, looking at that girl was almost like looking into a mirror at times. "But don't you wish for him yourself?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "Please. It was years ago – you know how stupid outside kids act."

Yukari giggled. "That I do. So… no feelings, then?"

"We're friends; no more, no less."

"Ouch… a moment of silence for our brother in the frie–"

"Don't."

"You're a bright ray of sunshine, you know that?"

"At least I take pride in being able to say I _am_ 17."

Yukari clapped a hand to her chest in fake shock. "My word! Are you implying that the high and mighty Yukari Yakumo is _lying_ about her age?"

"Yup." Karin was supremely unconcerned with the youkai's extravagant gestures. "But where did you put my two students?"

"I arranged for them to live next door to you. A few borders here, a little _persuasion_ there…"

"And by persuasion you mean blackmail."

Yukari hid her impish smile behind her fan. "Well, when you're as all-seeing as me, you can't help but indulge yourself in that every once in a while."

"Oh, sure. Because you totally don't indulge yourself in _other_ ways." Karin winked suggestively at the boundary youkai. "I wonder what kinds of things your precious Sukima Eyes have seen?"

"Enough to give you palpitations at the mere thought of me," Yukari shot back.

"So you _have_ been doing those kinds of things using your gaps. Just how many of your 'partners' actually know who they were… _interacting_ with?"

"Most of them." Yukari stretched her arms over her head, a small sigh escaping her lips as she settled back down. "It's getting late. I should head to bed."

"I thought you're a nocturnal youkai."

"I am, but I can switch to diurnal whenever I want. Granted, it means I have to sleep around the clock multiple times to get used to it, but oh well."

"… Hold it, Yukari."

The gap youkai stopped just short of a gap that led to just outside her bedroom. "Yes?"

"When you said Kourin was unsalvageable… did you mean it?"

"Taken a falling for him?" Yukari teased her.

Karin sniffed. "Keep dreaming. No, I'm not interested in him. I want to know if you actually meant it, or if you…"

"Of course I did." Yukari's tone had turned serious. "Whatever else I am, was, and will be, I'm still one of the Gensokyan Phantasms. Its denizens and safety remain my top priority."

As Yukari disappeared, leaving Karin alone in the gap world, she smirked. "Sure you are… Yakumo, you need to remember…" Raising a hand, she brought it down swiftly, a ribbon-bound gap forming before her. "You can't hide your secrets. Not from me – or rather…" Her eyes blinked violet.

"_Not from yourself."_

**– TOUHOU –**

_"Welcome back, Darius-sama."_ Alexa bowed to her wielder as Darius sat down in a chair, a neutral look on his face. _"What seems to be the problem?"_

"Oh… nothing." Darius stared into the horizon idly. "Just… Byakuren. She…"

Alexa smirked knowingly. _"You're… developing feelings for her?"_

The gunslinger scowled. "I wouldn't say it like that. But… yes. I suppose I do."

_"Of course you would."_ Alexa's eyes faded slightly as she thought back. _"Yukari."_

"Excuse me?"

_"She's coming back."_ Alexa sighed quietly. _"It seems you won't get a chance."_

"What are you talking about?"

The living weapon stood. _"Exactly what you think I'm talking about. We're not going to talk for much longer. She's determined to see that incident start."_

"Already!?" He couldn't believe his ears. "It's barely been half a week!"

_"And she thinks you've had enough time."_ Alexa's face darkened. _"Of course she would… damned hag…!"_

"What are you going on about?" Darius watched as Alexa slammed her hands on the desk, lines of indecipherable code moving at ballistic speed. "What are you doing?"

Suddenly, everything froze. For several seconds, there was no movement. A look of hate and disgust on her face, Alexa recovered her hands, allowing the lines to flow again. _"She wouldn't…"_

"What'd she do?"

She shook her head. _"I-I can't say."_

Darius grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "Alexa, _what did she do!?_"

_"Wedge…"_ Alexa whispered. Darius backed away as a dark aura formed around the living weapon. A lock of green hair fell over her eye, but she ignored it. _"Driving a wedge between… no. The truth would crush you."_

She turned away, the white ocean beneath her feet slowly staining black, as if someone were pouring ink into it. Above her, the pitch-black sky began to brighten. _"Darius-sama. Leave."_

"Alexa, what are you doing?"

_"Go!"_ She turned, a manic look in her eyes.

The sky flashed, turning to a blazing white for a split second. Before he awoke, Darius caught one glimpse of what lurked in those depths – what presence had been staring at him from the moment he first set foot in his dream dimension.

"No…!"

Stunned, the gunslinger did nothing as he fell into the white gap, waiting to reawaken. Alexa turned back to the figure in the sky as it slowly descended, two feet landing silently on the surface of the ocean. _"I can't let you meet him. Not in here."_

"I know." It smiled slightly. "So I'll just force my way through."

_"You can't possibly do that."_ Alexa thrust a hand up, the ocean heeding her and cascading around them. A shining revolver generated in one hand, a black-white blade in the other. _"You… shall not pass."_

Karin twirled Yukari's mob cap in her hands as she watched the show of power amusedly. "Actually, I think I will." Thousands of gaps formed, slowly tearing apart the dream world as they formed, even more eyes within the gaps staring down at Alexa. "What hope could you have against us?" The eyes began to glow as she spoke her next words.

**"Against we, Legion?"**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Hey, Yukari?" Darius trudged down the path to their destination, barely seeing where he was going in the moonlight. Again. "Where's your cap?"

"Hm?" Yukari seemed rather distracted by something as she floated along next to the gunslinger, present only in a waist-up gap. She stopped for a moment to make sure the left side of her face was properly covered by her hair before speeding up again. "Oh, I took it off. We're not meeting anyone on the way there, and my mob cap gets stuffy after a while~"

"… If you say so," shrugged the sharpshooter. "Oh, we're here."

They were atop a nearby mountain that would allow them a good view of all of Gensokyo. Drawing the keystone, he placed it in the ground, where it grew in size and began emitting a red smoke. In seconds, Tenshi showed up, dropping from the sky on a much larger keystone. "Hello, Tenshi-san."

"So, we're going to do this?" Darius closed his eyes and concentrated.

Yukari stepped out of her gap. "I suppose so. Tenshi, get ready."

The Celestial nodded and drew the Hisou no Tsurugi again. At the very edge of the overhang jutting from the mountaintop, the gunslinger felt a faint reverberation as he focused. Something was responding to his prods. Concentrating, he furrowed his brow. The ground began to shake slightly as he opened his eyes. All around him, he could see the world broken up into hundreds of pieces, as if laid down on a grid, light purple lines crisscrossing each other at intervals of miles. "So this is what you see, Yukari?"

The gap youkai laughed. "As if! You're barely seeing anything. Everything has billions individual borders, you know."

"Whatever." Darius rolled his eyes and placed a hand on the ground, Tenshi following suit. "Ready?"

The Celestial nodded. As one, they fuelled the earth with their power and watched the grid disfigure and warp. Yukari grinned and brought up a hand, swinging it down like an executioner.

And in that one second, the earth and sky were torn apart.

_Gensokyo has turned to a land of earth and sky.  
Who has broken the balance of the two?_

**– TOUHOU –**

**And so the incident begins! But what of all these twists and turns taken with everyone? Trust me, everything will come together at the end. And the end is in fact closer than you might think...**


	23. Flying Paradise

**Aaaaand another chapter!**

**Anyways, I apologize for the previous chapter for taking such a dark turn. Don't worry, I'll try to keep things light.**

**Karin... what are you planning?**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Byakuren-sama! _Byakuren-sama!_" Shou burst into the monk's bedroom, not even caring that she tore the door off its hinges as she charged in. "This is important! You must wake up at once, Byakuren-sama!"

"Nnn… Five more minutes…" Byakuren rolled over lazily and went back to sleep. Shou sighed and sprinted off. Thirty seconds later, she came back with a bucket of iced water.

"Byakuren-sama, if you do not get up, I will soak you."

"Zzz…"

_SPLASH!_

"Eek!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"What the…?" Byakuren stared at the carnage strewn across the ground – or rather, the carnage that was the ground.

It was as if someone had fed Gensokyo through a cheese shredder, strung everything together, and then lifted it up into the sky. At least half the ground was simply… _missing._ Random crevices, ravines, and flat-out gigantic missing slabs of land ran the length of the ground, more than a few trees missing as the ground below them gave out. Byakuren walked over to a nearby ravine and peeked over the edge. Yup, she was right.

Gensokyo had been straight-up _torn out of the earth._

As it was, the land of illusion was now floating some several hundred miles above the earth's surface, a gigantic crater signifying where Gensokyo used to be. The edges of the crater were blurred and flickering – a clear effect of the thankfully still active Hakurei Barrier. But, as if adding insult to injury (if said injury was currently floating in a place dangerously close to the edges of space), much of the missing ground was currently floating just under Gensokyo, several puffy clouds floating through it, and another smaller layer under that, and a smaller layer under _that_, and so on. Byakuren eventually heard footsteps behind her as Shou returned from her check to make sure everyone was safe and not, you know, a red stain on the landscape far below. Byakuren smiled at the winded tiger youkai. "Good, you're back. I needed some good news."

"Byakuren-sama, I – oh." Shou suddenly shut up. "Well, you see…"

The monk's next words echoed over half of Gensokyo.

**_"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HALF THE TEMPLE'S MISSING!?"_**

"Exactly what it sounds like!" Shou gestured to the crumbling Myouren temple, confirming that, yes literally half of the building had collapsed to come to a rest some several miles below them. Shou sighed and shook her head. "As if that wasn't bad enough, lots of our people are gone, too. Nazrin, Kogasa-san, Ichirin-san, all the visitors… Darius-san."

"Any idea where any of them are?" Byakuren asked as they jogged to the Palanquin, thankfully intact.

Shou shook her head again. "No. They're all missing. Just gone. No hints as to where they are."

"Who's still here?" Byakuren leapt up to the helm of the flying ship and began rapidly untying ropes and tying together others.

"Oi!" Murasa ran out onto the deck, shirt only half-on. "Watch which ropes you're hoisting!"

"Oh! Right." Byakuren let go of the rope in her hands, comically dropping one of Murasa's anchors on the owner.

The ghost captain pulled herself up, a large bump on her head. "Ow… Please, Byakuren-sama, just… just let me get the ship running."

"Sorry…"

"Ah, forget it." Murasa heaved the anchor that kept the Palanquin by the Myouren Temple's side over the top. "By the way, where's Nue?"

"She should be sleeping," Shou started, but before she could continue, one of the barrels on deck popped open, a certain youkai climbing out of it.

"What's this about me?" Nue ran a thumb along the sharp prongs of her trident.

"Nothing," Shou said quickly. Murasa said nothing, running back and forth along the deck as her hands flew, rapidly bringing the Palanquin back to operating condition. She finally came to a stop at the wheel, wiping the sweat off.

"Alright, we're good to go. We shouldn't need the UFO disguise again, Nue, so don't bother," panted Murasa. She made a despairing face at how sweat-drenched her favourite sailor cap was. "So, what happened down there?" She gestured to the ground below them, watching as yet another piece crumbled away, dropping into the distance before suddenly catching itself and floating in place.

"Well, if it's not a totally ballistic incident, I'll eat myself." Nue flew up to the crow's nest and settled in. "Then again, we all knew _that_, but if we headed to the Hakurei Shrine or whatever it's called, we might get a clue from the red-white."

Byakuren turned to Murasa. "You know where to go, right?"

The ghost captain nodded. "Setting a course for the Hakurei Shrine it is!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Mary, come on!" Renko gestured to the sleepy girl behind her. "Check this out! Our very first incident!"

"Ooh." The girl yawned widely. "Wanna check it out?"

"Well, we know what to do, don't we?" Renko began to fly.

"Renko, wait!" Maribel reached out and pulled her friend back to the floating earth. "We need to go look for Karin-sensei!"

"Don't bother," said Renko. "I already checked and she's not there. Odds are she already left to solve the incident."

"Oh…" Maribel's face fell, but brightened up again anyways. "Well then, let's go!"

"Hold up a second!" Renko cried as she chased after the extremely fast purple/yellow bullet. "_We don't even know where to start!_"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Reimu-san! Open up!"

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"Geez, can't a girl take a break without having her door broken down?" The miko got up anyways and opened the door, spilling in a monk, a god's avatar, and a ghost. "What the–"

Byakuren jumped up first. "Reimu-san, there's something wrong with Gensokyo! We're _floating in the sky_ and the ground keeps falling apart–"

"Everyone at the temple's gone missing!" Shou cried. "We woke up this morning and the temple had fallen apart and everyone but us disappeared literally overnig–"

"These two jumped me!" Murasa complained. "They went on and on about Gensokyo falling apart and told me to reactivate the Palanquin and–"

_"SHUT UP!"_ Reimu screamed, her visitors instantly falling silent. Breathing heavily, she stalked off into the depths of her shrine and came back mere seconds later with a tray full of tea. Pushing a cup into everyone's hands, she poured herself a cup of tea as well and sat down. "So, you're telling me some sort of spell sent Gensokyo flying into space?"

"Well, not quite space, but we're really high up and – just come out and see!" Byakuren grabbed Reimu and brought her outside.

Reimu observed the missing ground for several seconds before shrugging. "My shrine's intact, so I don't care."

"What?" Shou crashed to the floor. "You're just going to ignore the fact that all of Gensokyo was torn from the earth and _is currently falling apart as we speak_ so you can go back to your tea!?"

"It doesn't affect me," said an impassive Reimu.

Byakuren sighed and rifled in her pockets. She pulled out several coins and dropped them into the donation box. At the sound of coins hitting the bottom of it, the miko instantly shot up like she'd been electrocuted. "Looks like we've another incident on our hands, girls! Let's _go_~!"

Without another word, the shrine maiden rocketed off at incredible speed in the hopes of getting more cash for solving the incident. Several seconds passed in silence until Byakuren tossed another coin into the donation box. Hopefully, Reimu would work even harder with a little extra incentive.

"I can't believe you actually need to bribe her into solving incidents," muttered Shou.

Byakuren shrugged. "Well, it works!"

**– TOUHOU –**

Marisa tripped over another hole in her house. Muttering curses under her breath, she grabbed her witch's hat from the closet and snatched up her broomstick, slamming the door behind her as she stomped outside. Someone had stopped her from getting her usual 12 hours of sleep, and she was going to make them _pay._

**– TOUHOU –**

"Well, that was a moot visit." Murasa closed up her retractable telescope and put it away. "Now where to?"

"I guess we go looking for whoever started this whole thing." Byakuren thought on it as she watched the land zip by below her. "The underground is probably out of the question. It might not even be connected to Gensokyo anymore, actually! Obviously, finding Yukari is impossible – she'd find us, not the other way around. It might've been that Celestial girl, but she probably would've made it obvious who did it. Maybe… those vampires?"

"Of course!" Nue slammed a fist into her palm. "That vampire who can control fate! She probably made it so that this would happen!" She turned to the others below her. "So what do you think?"

"Well, it's improbable, but sure." As Murasa set a new course for the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Byakuren wondered. "But why would a _vampire_ bring her home closer to the sun…?"

**– TOUHOU –**

"You realize something interesting?"

"What."

"You just bypassed the five bosses I set up. I even had Remi-san tweak fate so you could have a fight-your-friend moment for stage 4!" Darius sighed ruefully. "And here you are, completely ignoring all that."

"Does it look like I care?" Reimu drew a set of homing amulets. "Just let me beat you up so I can solve this incident, go back to my shrine, and get wasted. Okay?"

"Wow, you're in a good mood today." Darius pocketed Alexa. He needed a test subject for his new spell cards anyways. Sure, it might be a crazed money-obsessed Fantasy-Heaven-tossing generally-frickin'-insane miko, but hey! "Well, let's get this over with so I can get back what I was supposed to be doing. I suppose I should thank you for giving me some target practice. I was wondering if I'd ever get to use an Arcanum deck. _Saigyouji Arcanum – Expired Cherry Blossoms of Empty Colours."_

The dark hallway Reimu had challenged him in suddenly went pitch-black, the many torches that lined the halls extinguished by an ice-cold wind. The wind blew around his feet, cherry blossoms forming below him and lifting him into the air. As the infamous tree that lured humans to their deaths formed behind him, Reimu realized. "Just an illusion, huh?"

"Just like the Ayakashi," smirked Darius. "Its beauty is a mere façade for its murderous persona."

As the cherry blossoms began to fly in the wind, Reimu drew her own spell card. "And what might that make you?"

"A little bit of both." Darius smiled as he recalled Yukari's teases, throwing her words out just to spite the hag he knew was listening in. _"Balance."_

Dozens of lasers generated, carving trenches in the earth as they moved, seeking to block Reimu's path. The cherry blossoms of the false Ayakashi began to wither the moment they left its branches, curling up to a shrivelled black and turning to dark orbs of danmaku, barely visible in the dim half-light cast by the tree itself and the lasers it summoned. As Reimu moved, her hands began to fly, throwing up barriers and tossing needles and amulets at the immobilized Darius, rooted in place by his spell card. Most of her attacks merely bounced off of the shield of protective withered cherry blossoms surrounding him, though a fair amount of needles still slipped through.

Reimu heard the gunslinger's voice over the hail of danmaku even as she felt the rush of power. "_Not good enough._"

The cherry blossoms spread out, his shield dissipating as they turned into stationary orbs of light. One by one, they rapidly fired at Reimu, forcing her to constantly move through the rapidly increasing storm as the dead cherry blossoms fell around her. As a laser burnt her wrist, she cursed and cast her spell card. _"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal!"_

Still deftly dodging the bullets aimed at her, Reimu set free the holy energy, hammering Darius and bringing his spell card to a mere inch of its life. Grinning, Reimu crossed the dimensions and appeared right in front of Darius. "Lights out."

_Smash!_

Darius was sent hurtling through the air and back to the ground, the danmaku fading away. Getting up, he smirked. "Well played, Reimu. Too bad you only get so many bombs to play with."

"What are you talking about?"

The gunslinger laughed openly as he rose to his feet again. "If you'd bothered to actually fight your way through the stages, you'd understand. For now, however; congratulations!" He spread his arms out as he backed away, the lights reigniting around them to reveal their location had changed. Instead of a hallway, they were now standing in an underground arena hewn from rock, barely lit by the torches lining the walls. "You have removed my first spell card! Enjoy the gift of _yet another Stolen Arcanum!_"

"Wow, you're as bad as Marisa when it comes to stealing spell cards." Reimu thought on that. "Wait, no. You're way, _way_ worse."

"Why, thank you." Darius held his hands out in a certain darkness youkai's iconic pose, except it actually looked intimidating on him as a red aura formed around him. _"Scarlet Arcanum – Bloody Feast of the Cross."_

The floor beneath them flashed, a hexagram rapidly inscribing itself at ballistic speed as Darius shot into the air, a colossal red cross generating around him. From his hands came the waves of fast-moving spirals of danmaku. Tricky to learn, but easy to avoid when you figured them out. For Reimu, it might as well have been done in bullet time. The hexagram below them pulsed, several crosses forming on the ground and instantly flying upwards before sinking to the ground again and vanishing. Obviously, the ballistic cross shielded Darius from attack, and only a complete idiot would dare to try and jump into it. It seemed it would have to be a timeout.

As the timer ticked by, the spirals began to whirl faster and faster. Unfortunately for the miko, a second hexagram burned itself into the ceiling above her, spinning crosses leaping downwards and falling up into it again. Then, just as Reimu thought she'd beaten the spell card, she felt a cross dig into her side. Reacting instinctively, she declared, _"Divine Spirit – Fantasy Seal!"_

"Oh, so close!" Darius taunted the miko as he slid out of the way of the holy energy. "A little more and you could've aced that spell!"

"You're one to talk," spat Reimu. She drew another spell card, flashing the face of it to Darius for a split second. Even across the cavernous arena, he could see the writing inscribed into it.

FANTASY HEAVEN

"Heh… so that's how it is?" The gunslinger drew yet another spell card. "I guess I'll get serious about this. Brace yourself, miko." The earth shook as his next spell took effect.

_"Yakumo Arcanum – Danmaku Bounded Field."_

Reimu's eyes widened as he stepped backwards, blinking out of existence as the two strange runes began to fly, spewing out elaborate patterns of danmaku. "What!? How the hell did you replicate _this_ kind of spell card?"

Darius' laughter rang out clear as the first swirl of danmaku swept in, Reimu barely brushing past it. "Boundaries and balance aren't all that different, Reimu! True, false? Right, wrong? Life, death!? They are defined by boundaries, and they are governed by _balance!_" His voice fell and his tone darkened. "I think we've dawdled long enough.

"Thank Yukari for showing me this next one."

_Twelve_ runes manifested, spinning around Reimu and firing a solid ball of danmaku. More and more bullets lined up, pointing at her and glowing menacingly. Then, they began to move. Hundreds of bullets, sweeping past her by less than an inch, converged. But just as she grazed her way through the hailstorm, they began to move back out. It looked like she didn't have a choice. _"Fantasy Heaven!"_

The seven orbs generated and immediately initiated, clearing the area around her of bullets. Both her quick-cast Fantasy Heaven and the Bounded Field cancelled out at the same time. A sound of tearing, and Darius stepped out, clapping his hands. "Bravo, bravo! I honestly didn't expect you to survive that last salvo."

"Hmph." Reimu crossed her arms. "Are you done? If you'd just fight me, I could beat you into a pulp without feeling too bad and we could be done."

"Hmm…" Darius tapped his chin in thought. "Nah. Now, I think I'll just skip your Arcanum for now, Reimu." The lights went out once more as he murmured, "Behold the true power of Yin and Yang."

A colossal blast of light blinded Reimu as Darius cast the finishing spell card.

**_"Loyhrs Arcanum – Last Man's Death at the End of the Eons!"_**

**– TOUHOU –**

**Yeah. Reimu's weird that way. Also, I still have even more spell cards for Darius to use. After all, he only used one boss-level spell card in this chapter. Next chapter: What's everyone else doing?**


	24. Fragmented Paradise

**Whew! It took a fair while to write this one. Well, not because it was difficult, but because preliminaries are starting soon, and the homework is slowly trying to drown me. Hopefully, it wasn't too long.**

**To Commander Video: Geez, I did drop the ball on that, didn't I? My apologies. It was originally meant to go in a completely different direction, but I threw the plan out the window and just went wild. I realize there are plenty of more original ways to wind up in Gensokyo, but I'm simply a very lazy man. Shooting Karin was by no means done in lethal intent; he (or was it Alexa?) knew perfectly well that it would be non-lethal. Getting bear hugged to death leads to drastic measures.**

**If you're talking about the human village, he is by no means best buds with them yet. I don't believe I've made that implication, except maybe through Keine, though I've already explained she thinks differently from them. His inexplicable prowess in combat and simply having magic to begin with? Ha... this comes into play shortly. However, if I've been giving off the vibe that he's going insane and/or is ready to gut everyone in his path... I didn't plan that. Could you clarify with me on that later in a PM?**

**And don't worry; no one's going to end up riddled with holes. Okay, maybe one or two or five, but not everyone.**

**Long review... but we've spent long enough on this. Back to BWD!**

"Reimu-san…"

"…"

"You didn't really think you could beat me with that, did you?"

"…"

"How typical of you. My apologies, but there is something I need to do. Until it comes to pass, I'm afraid I can't lose. Not to you, not to anyone." Darius raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it's something like that." He stood up and drew the hilt of Alexa's sword form, the black-white blade forming as he lifted it. "As it is, you can't go back. Not yet. So you'll have to excuse me for this one."

The blade turned completely black in the second it took for it to fall.

**– TOUHOU –**

"So this is the Scarlet Devil Mansion?"

Sakuya bowed to the visitors as she opened the grand doors at the entrance to the mansion. "I wish to apologize for the mansion's current state on the behalf of ojou-sama. We are still in the midst of repairs and an excessive amount of guests might make fixing the mansion even more difficult."

Byakuren waved it off. "It's fine, it's fine. But where is Remilia-san?"

The maid frowned slightly. "If you are here to visit her, then you are too late. She left an hour ago."

The magician narrowed her eyes. "You're lying to me… aren't you?"

Eventually, the maid sighed and shook her head. "She's right. Ojou-sama is in fact still in the mansion. However…" She reached into her uniform and drew her pocket watch. "You cannot meet her."

"What is the vampire planning?" Byakuren stepped forward slightly.

Sakuya smiled as her eyes faded into a dull red. "You'll see – if you defeat me." And as the world blurred, Sakuya's eyes turned to a blazing scarlet. "Come."

A flash of light, and the two sides collided, Sakuya easily holding back Byakuren with but a single knife against all logic. The world turned monochrome around them, and the magician was forced back as dozens of knives rained down. Sakuya laughed quietly as she stepped towards Byakuren.

The look in her eyes hardened, and the maid jumped into the air to dodge her opponent's slash. Leaping after Sakuya, Byakuren leaned to the side, avoiding the knife aimed for her head and batting the maid to the floor with a well-aimed kick. Getting to her feet, Sakuya growled, _" Illusion Existence – Clock Corpse."_

Slamming a hand to the ground, she summoned a blast of widely spread danmaku around her. Wide area, but minimal density. As she watched Byakuren begin to move, Sakuya opened her Lunar Dial. To Byakuren, it was as if she had simply blinked and all those knives had appeared. Thankfully, they were nowhere near the strongest of Sakuya's spells, allowing her through with ease. Deciding on a quick gamble, Byakuren leapt forward, slamming the maid out of another barrage just as it began, the danmaku blinking out harmlessly at her feet. She got up, drawing more and more knives from her uniform. "Clever risk. Keep doing that, however, and you risk some… _superficial_ injuries."

The knives in her hands glowed, bathed in a blue aura as she tossed them behind her, to the sides, straight up and down – really everywhere except Byakuren. Except instead of bouncing off harmlessly, these knives rebounded off the walls, bouncing back and forth in an interlocking pattern. Sakuya smiled grimly as she watched the magician fly, trying not to accidentally impale herself. Reaching behind her, the maid drew another set of knives and tossed them aside in the same rebounding arc. In a single move, Byakuren crossed the distance between them and sent Sakuya sprawling with a palm strike. "What is she doing, Sakuya-san?"

The maid quickly flipped back onto her feet and vanished from sight. Blurring into view behind Byakuren, Sakuya sneered. "Nothing you need concern yourself with." The magician whirled, only for Sakuya to vanish again. "Perhaps if you win."

This time, when Sakuya lunged, Byakuren was ready for it. Using her enhanced speed to her advantage, the magician sidestepped the maid and dropped her to the floor with an elbow strike with enough force to crack the tiles, her Lunar Dial clattering to the floor. Again, Byakuren asked the same question, but much more forcefully. "What is your mistress doing?"

"Heed me, time…_ Stop."_ Sakuya whispered to herself. A sudden movement saw Byakuren's legs swept out from under her with Sakuya's kick.

_"Watch – Lunar Dial!"_ Snatching up her time-stopping pocket watch from beside her, Sakuya flung it directly into Byakuren's face. A glyph formed on the floor, twelve smaller runes symbolizing time as it glowed a bright white. "This will just take a minute."

The glyphs shattered, glass flying into the air and coming to a halt in mid-air. The world turned black and white once more, and the magician's surprised expression froze with her, rendered frozen in time as the mansion rapidly regained its colour – but Byakuren remained in her monochrome state, her outline blurring between colour and no colour as Sakuya got up.

"Hijiri-san," she began, slowly circling Byakuren like a wolf preparing to kill. She walked directly into a glass shard – and watched it crumble away amusedly. "Your prowess in combat is commendable. However, it is nothing in the face of time itself." Turning away from Byakuren, Sakuya cast an arm out to the side, twelve knives manifesting around Byakuren, poised to stab her. Above them, the massive hour hand of the mansion's clock tower hovered, ready to impale the magician. "And… _time marches on._"

The twelve knives flew at extreme speed, opening multiple cuts as they flew. Time quickly reasserted its authority, the magician's fall rapidly speeding up to normal pace – but not before the colossal clock hand fell. As Byakuren screamed in pain, Sakuya extended a hand, palm up. Her Lunar Dial reformed in her hand, and she looked intently at the time with a satisfied smile. Exactly thirteen seconds.

"… Right on time."

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius paced the balcony of his new fortress edgily. "Dammit, Yukari…"

"Oi, kiddo, what's up?"

The gunslinger silently cursed in every language he could think of as he turned to the Celestial. "Her false incident is already falling apart! Yes, we have Reimu now, but haven't you felt it?"

"Felt… what?" Tenshi was confused.

Darius stared at her. "Gensokyo is _massive_, Tenshi-san. Can't you possibly think of how much strain it takes to keep this thing airborne? Sure, all she had to do was play up the borders of earth and sky, but the both of us are going to be seriously under pressure."

"Meh." Tenshi shrugged and went back to trying to mold a clay figure. The softened clay kept sticking to her hands…!

"Yeah, I realize you're not listening," muttered the gunslinger. "I'd just prefer to have _someone_ in the room so I don't wind up going flat-out crazy."

"I thought you'd talk to the voices in your head." Actually, Tenshi was paying _some_ attention, but not much – dammit! She almost finished molding the hat, too…

"Alexa?" Darius pondered it, mentally trying to contact the living weapon. "She's been highly unresponsive to me since we started this. She doesn't respond to anything; lately, I've been wondering if she's even active anymore…" He sighed. "Well anyways, that's why I'm here. Now, Tenshi-san…"

The Celestial looked up again. "What?" Her voice was curt and irritated. "I have something I'm working on." Finally! The little peaches on the hat were done!

"You realize that if either of us tired out from keeping up this giant hunk of land, the strain would fall entirely on the other – unless Yukari steps in, but what are the odds?" Tenshi looked supremely unconcerned at Darius' revelation. He facepalmed and expanded on it. "When I tire out, it'll be all up to you to keep us flying."

The Celestial paled. Not even she could hold an entire landmass afloat – that was in the realm of the gap youkai and her equals. And like the sharpshooter said, she'd almost certainly not lend a hand. The lazy youkai. Hiding her worries behind her rather snobby mask, she said, "Well then what do you think we should do, if you can come up with all that?"

Darius stopped pacing, his face away from Tenshi. A quiet chill came over her as she got up and stepped closer edgily. "… Darius-san?"

He turned, a crazed idea blazing to life in his eyes. "I have a plan."

**– TOUHOU –**

Despite the paradisiac view (Gensokyo, in the clouds during summer? What could possibly be a better view!?), the tall, light brown-haired oni sighed and took a long swig of his rum. A rather unique oni amongst his brethren, he enjoyed alcoholic beverages the world over, often getting the more exotic ones through dealerships with the gap youkai. Putting down the bottle, he sighed and tapped his foot on the ground, making the fairy under his foot cry out in pain. "Well? Any other fairies wanna try their look with me?"

"Aiiiieeee!" He rolled his eyes as he heard the suicidal war cry of another fairy hurtling to its (temporary) death. A single lightning-quick movement, and the fairy was little more than a stain on the tree beside him. His eyes sparked with a hint of manic bloodlust as he dispelled the colossal ivory scythe and watched the others back away. The oni's hand slowly lowered from the tree, blood dripping from it. Granted, it was nothing _too_ bad –at least he'd made sure there weren't any guts all over the place.

… Maybe he ought to meet Yuuka and have a chat about the definition of _too bad_.

"Stand down, ya scrubs." Slightly wobbly, he quickly walked past the cowering fairies, one merciless gold eye sweeping over them as he left. He softly felt the cloth over his right eye. His good eye fell on the distant gray-black castle in the distance, narrowing as he understood the aura. Familiar… yet different. His hidden eye twitched with eagerness to meet the man again. It had been one hell of a fun fight.

Snatching up the nearby fairy before him and dashing its brains out on the rocks as it tried to punch him, he swept off – and stopped abruptly as a danmaku bullet pinged off the back of his head. The fairy responsible celebrated, but it would be very, very, _VERY_ short-lived.

In every sense of the word.

"Alright, sneak attacks I can deal with. But backstabs?" He turned and loosened the strip of cloth tied tight over his eye. It fell, but remained supported by his hand, hiding a true terror behind it. "Five seconds to run or die. Make your choice."

Right away, a third of the fairies backed away, some simply stepping back, the few smart ones flying away. However, most of them took it as a challenge and began to creep forward. The oni closed his eye and sighed. Well, they'd just have to learn the hard way. Opening both his eyes, he grinned sadistically.

"Then behold the eye of Medusa."

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren frowned as she watched Sakuya fall to the ground from the crater in the wall. Hadn't she done something similar to Darius the other day? They thought she was beaten and promptly got stomped into the dirt? Why, she even used the same spell card! She watched Sakuya get to her feet shakily. "Why you…!" Drawing her Lunar Dial, Sakuya pulled at the countless sheathes and pockets in her uniform, countless knives on the floor before her when she finished. "I'll show you the true power of time! _Last Word – Inflation Wo–"_

_"Stand down, Sakuya._"

The maid was staggered as she heard the voice. "But, o-ojou-sama…!"

Remilia Scarlet descended, her bat wings flapping slowly as she softly landed on the ground. Despite it being daytime, and above the clouds at that, her presence still exuded that same power and elegance. In fact, there was a literal red aura bleeding off of her, barely visible against the crimson everything in the mansion, but there nonetheless. "You have done enough, Sakuya. You may rest."

Sakuya shakily nodded and bowed with difficulty. "Thank you, ojou-sama." And then she was gone.

The young vampire grinned toothily at the monk. "Now, what brings you to my mansion on this fine day?"

"Please don't, Remilia-san." Byakuren drew her scroll and threw it into the air, where it came to life and floated behind her, quickly casting spells as she prepared herself for the inevitable fight. "Why did you lift Gensokyo from the earth?"

Remilia stared at her for several seconds in silence. The air crackled with tension, rapidly approaching a critical point as the red aura surrounding her thickened, ready to explode any second. Byakuren drew her vajra as Remilia opened her mouth – and burst out laughing, rolling on the ground. Taking back by Remilia's unorthodox charisma break, Byakuren only watched as the vampire flopped about for several minutes at the absurdity of Byakuren's accusations. Eventually, she calmed down, shoulders still shaking. "Okay, okay, I'm calm, I'm ca – hahahahaha!"

She was not calm. It took another very long, very awkward (for Byakuren, at least) several minutes for her to cool off. Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, Remilia dusted herself off and took several deep breaths. "Alright. I'm _actually_ calm now. But, _really_? You thought _I_, a _vampire_, would do something that would only bring her closer to the sun?"

"So I was right…" Byakuren breathed quietly. So Remilia wasn't the cause of it. But just as she prepared to speak, the Scarlet Devil raised a hand, cutting her off.

_"However."_ Remilia's eyes burned red – a clear sign of readying for a fight. "I most certainly had a hand in it by willing them to succeed."

"Who are 'they'?"

Remilia tapped her chin in thought. "He did tell me to say, right? Ah, yes, he did…" She looked Byakuren in the eye. "It was your precious boyfriend, Darius-san."

Byakuren groaned. "Again, I promise you that we are _not_ in a relationship! But why would he tear up Gensokyo?"

"That was something he chose to withhold. Of course, you could ask him yourself." The vampire bared her fangs. She cleared her throat and continued. "But now! If you wish to learn of his whereabouts, then you must defeat us." As the scarlet aura around her grew larger, a mad grin etched itself into her face. _"FLANDRE!"_

"Onee-sama!" The poor, unfortunate doors of the Scarlet Devil Mansion were once more blown to bits, splinters of wood clattering to the floor as the infamous little destroyer flew in.

"Now, this is hardly fair, of course." Remilia sneered, her thoughts clear; Byakuren wouldn't win this, through and through. "Feel free to call in one of your friends."

Byakuren grit her teeth. "… Shou."

Remilia's grin widened as the tiger youkai appeared in seconds. "Wise choice. It's a pity we still outclass you."

The monk smiled. "We'll see."

_"... Divine Spear - Spear the Gungnir."_


	25. Flawless Death God

**Welcome back! I said updates might slow down, and I'm expecting them to, so please don't get accustomed to a quick cranking-out of a few chapters. Anyways, this chapter will focus on a new OC: Goukei Fukitsunashi! His story will also be explained in this expanded chapter.**

**Theme for Goukei: [Castlevania Judgement] Evil Symphonic Poem**

**Flashback: [Castlevania Judgement] Clockwork**

**Yes, this chapter will be taking a lot of cues from Castlevania's Grim Reaper. Let's begin!**

**– TOUHOU –**

The oni stood before the colossal gates of Darius' new castle. Really, why would he even put these here? Everyone could just fly over it – well, almost everyone. Holy hell, how he hated not flying. He hadn't got to stretch his wings in forever. Oh well; he'd have to wait. His Medusa Eye once more covered and hidden safely behind his makeshift eyepatch, his good eye roved over the gates. Despite being rather useless, they were well-made; tasteful and good at what they did.

Too bad it didn't hold up against an oni's strength, crumpling like matchwood in one ferocious strike and swinging open, even the magic strengthening them falling apart. He narrowed his eye at the looming obsidian-wrought castle. That crazed shooter had really pulled all the stops on this one…

Reaching into his maroon travelling cloak, the oni delved into its bottomless depths, finding his favourite bottle of whisky. Might as well be at least _somewhat_ wasted – why not? Downing half its contents in one go, he smacked his lips and stowed it away again, listening as the sounds of battle preparation began within the impregnable fortress. Unlike those gates, it'd be almost impossible to smash the enhanced walls here.

"Well," he breathed, "If I've gotta fight an army to get ya, then by God am I gonna wreck that army."

His hands reached for the scythe belted to his back, the strap running across his chest. The belt clicked and opened, allowing to grip the long pale handle of his favourite weapon once more. He ran a thumb along the sharp edge, amused at how the black blade shined as his blood trickled on it.

"You're looking forward to it too, eh?" The oni raised the scythe and shattered the locks of the main doors, swinging back as he rushed in. "Well, far be it from me to keep ya waiting!"

**– TOUHOU –**

_Smash!_

Darius sighed as he heard the sounds of countless fairies dying – but twitched as he felt exactly _how_ they were doing. Whipping around as if he could see them through the wall, he muttered to himself. "What the fuck is in this castle…?"

"So you noticed too." Yukari tried to keep it casual, but the beads of sweat were beginning to form on her forehead. Contrary to what the gunslinger and Celestial had believed, the gap youkai had actually stepped forward and offered to take almost the full weight of Gensokyo. _"You'll need all the power you can get,"_ she had said mysteriously.

"Someone's coming in." He narrowed his eyes. "I don't know why, but it feels… familiar."

"It's not anyone I'd planned to show up," frowned Yukari. "We'd best get out there and beat him quickly before he does something to ruin our act."

_"He?"_ Darius raised an eyebrow. "It's not… not Rinnosuke, right?"

"Definitely not." Yukari's eyes flickered between gold and violet. "If it was, I'd be the first to give him a boot to the Sanzu River." She smiled, though it looked more like a grimace. "Actually, you'll see who it is in a couple seconds. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." With a small giggle and a sigh of exhaustion, she vanished into a gap – and not a moment too soon.

Darius turned to see a certain oni he'd met in a previous incident. _"You…!"_

"Yo!" The oni raised a hand and waved casually, apparently oblivious to the blood splattered across the floor behind him and on him. "And how've ya been doin' so far?"

"What was your name again?" The gunslinger tapped his temple in thought.

The oni thought for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Oh, right! I never did introduce myself." Taking out a large bottle of rum, he plonked it firmly on the ground beside him and made an overly dramatic flourishing bow. "Goukei Fukitsunashi!"

_His last name is literally sinister death…_ Darius noted as the oni chugged his bottle and tossed it aside. Drawing the still-silent Alexa, he spoke. "And what business do you have here?"

"Oh gee, I wonder," said Goukei sarcastically. "I think I came to sit down and have a nice cup of tea – _fight me, damn you!_" Slamming his scythe into the floor before him, an ancient rune burned to life over his eyepatch, green energy crackling across it as he grinned. "I know you're the one who started this whole 'floating Gensokyo' business. Who else?"

"Your logic is horribly flawed," pointed out the gunslinger.

"I'm drunk!" The oni wavered slightly. "Ya can't do jack _shit_ when I'm drunk!"

"What was in that rum…?" Darius muttered.

Goukei's scythe ignited, hellfire rippling along the blade of the formerly plain weapon. He ripped it out of the ground, the blast of heat rippling through the throne room and tearing away his cloak, revealing a classic robe similar to Rinnosuke's own, except coloured in bloody red and dark gray. Bare feet pounding craters into the ground, he charged. _"Come on, ya wussy!"_

Darius waited until Goukei had approached close enough to swing the scythe in a move that would have severed his waist and stepped forward, too close for the scythe's effective range, drawing a fist back and charging it with white energy. Swinging it around in almost a full 180 hook, he sent Goukei spinning – once. A foot landing firmly to stop his movement, the oni grinned and ran a hand along the handle of the scythe. _"Cleave the world in twain and reap the souls of the damned,"_ he chanted. _"Shinokama!"_

A _second_ blade erupted from the butt of the scythe, on the opposite side to the regular blade, but just as fiery, just as sharp – and just as deadly. Spinning the reaper's weapon over his head, he laughed maniacally. "Take a good look, gunslinger! This is the Shinokama, the legendary scythe used by Death, _the_ Death, the Grim Reaper himself!" Tossing the scythe, he roared, _"Feast upon his soul!"_

The scythe rolled as if it were a flaming wheel, blowing past Darius as he dodged it by a fraction of an inch, the deadly weapon grating against the far wall. With a violent tugging motion, the Shinokama returned to Goukei as if on a string, who held it in crossed arms, ready to impale his opponent on the back swing.

_Clever._ Darius summoned his black-white sword, bringing it up to block one blade. However, Goukei immediately switched targets and pulled back, the action slipping the other half of the scythe behind Darius and pulling, glancing a heavy blow to his side. _With two blades, it's possible to strike on the back swing, the regular strike, recoil, and the follow-up… Unorthodox, but dangerous in the right hands – in other words, in this oni's hands…_

"It's a pity I don't always use this." Goukei spun the scythe in his hands at terrifying speed, literally slicing apart the bullets that the gunslinger fired to cover his retreat. "But when I do, _well!_"

"Where'd you even get this thing, anyways?" Darius leaned back, nearly overbalancing as the Shinokama whipped out above him, severing multiple hairs off his fringe. "You're not a shinigami; you're an oni!"

"I'm both!" Goukei cackled as he twisted the scythe's handle, both blades facing the same direction and plunging like a beast's jaws snapping shut. Returning the scythe to its normal double-edged state, he reared up and crossed blades with the gunslinger. "I used to be the best damn death god around – so good, I managed to nearly satisfy every shinigami position at once – reaper, collector, ferryman, punisher, and impromptu judge!"

"But if you're so good, why are you living in the underground?" Darius shot back. The oni staggered – maybe he was drunk, maybe it was the question. One way or another, the gunslinger used the opportunity to slip past his guard and deliver a powerful kick to the face, staggering him.

"Heh…" Goukei wiped the blood off his chin. "Well done, kiddo. Not many draw blood on me when I'm serious. Maybe if I gave you a taste of that!" The second blade of the Shinokama glowed and shattered, dispersed by Goukei as he raised the remaining blade above himself. _"Blood and Tears – Jurisdiction of the Devils!"_

He struck the ground and it split open, a ravine large enough to swallow a house whole opening up in the floor. However, it didn't open into the sky – instead, shriveled, deadened hands reached out, clawing at the edges as a terrifying inferno of hellfire blazed forth from its depths, tongues of flame flicking against the arched ceiling, far, far above them. As the Shinokama was withdrawn, the geyser of flames turned into a solid plume of fire, twisting and arcing to follow Goukei's scythe as he flung it once more at Darius in the same wheel-like fashion. As expected, the gunslinger dodged it.

Then it started rebounding.

The Shinokama flew back and forth across the throne room, not losing any momentum as it spun like the wheels of the devil's chariot, tearing open the ground as it moved and revealing more tortured souls reaching out. All the while, Goukei laughed and laughed behind the hellfire. Darius finally stopped and drew a spell card. _"Solar Sign – Light Speed Lock-On!"_

The air cracked as he moved, blowing aside the hellfire and leaving the Shinokama in the dust. Tracing a path of impossible right-angle twists and turns, Darius quickly blasted across the throne room, effortlessly trailing the edges of the hell geyser and tackling Goukei, cancelling his spell card and sending them both rolling across the floor, his scythe slamming into the wall, firmly embedded several feet in it.

Darius leaned to the left as the ex-shinigami's fist flew by, brushing his ear. Grabbing the elbow, he twisted it into an extremely painful position, eyes silently daring Goukei to move. The oni simply smiled and forced his elbow to move, intentionally breaking it. Surprised, Darius did nothing as Goukei's mad gamble paid off, wrenching his shattered arm free and kicking the gunslinger into the air, elbow already realigning and regenerating as he moved.

"Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, _COME ON!"_ Goukei darted across the arena and wrenched his scythe free, jumping onto the wall and bouncing off of it to reach Darius before he even started falling. "Is that all the great Libra can do!? _Put up a fight!"_

He twisted his upper body, scythe swinging around to nearly touch his other shoulder and snapping back around, hellfire tracing its movement. But just before it connected, a flurry of rotted black cherry blossoms flew, blinding him and making his strike go wide. As he recovered, Goukei watched as Darius leapt into the air, supported by those same dead petals. _"Saigyouji Arcanum – Expired Cherry Blossoms of Empty Colours."_

Once more, that cold wind blew, extinguishing the lights around them and revealing the grim visage of the Saigyouji Ayakashi. Its petals began to fall and fire, shooting off at the oni. Sneering, he brought up his scythe before him and forced out the second blade, whirling the Shinokama in his hands and shredding every bullet that dared to near him. "Are you kidding me right now?" The ex-shinigami laughed as he began to advance. "Bullets are a pathetic form of combat! If you want it done right, don't even rely on a bullet…" He leapt into the air and brought it arcing up with him, flames of hell rapidly breaking apart Darius' spell. "Do it yourself, goddammit all!"

Flipping the Shinokama over deftly in his hands, Goukei immediately turned his upper slash into a backswing, ready to bring it back down and end the fight –

_"Not so fast."_

Moving almost too fast to see, Darius grabbed the handle of the scythe just below the blade and forced it out of Goukei's hands, tossing it aside behind him and cracking his knuckles. "I am so going to regret this later."

Goukei snorted. "Pickin' a fistfight with an _oni?_ You suicidal, or are you just that batshit insane?"

"Both," Darius smiled grimly.

"Well then let's start this off right." Goukei drew a spell card and immediately cast it. _"Agony Sign – Crumble to Dust!"_

One hand shot up to block Darius' straight punch, twisting him out of the way and to the side. The other hand reached up and untied the cloth masking his Eye of Medusa. The runic symbol on the cloth faded as its magic instead returned to his eye as Goukei grinned. "Oi! Gunslinger! Ever heard…" The cloth fell. "Of _Medusa!?"_

Instantly, a massive flash of green light blinded Darius as pain wracked his body, forcing him back to the ground. It was like being burnt alive as your skin was slowly peeled away with a rusty knife. Dropping to the ground, he was all but paralyzed by the agony. Goukei snickered as he watched. "This is my power, my curse and my blessing!" In his right eye, the iris was a neon green, several red lines tracing and swirling around it. Where there would be white in any normal eye, it was instead pitch black. "I was given the eye of the fallen gorgon, Medusa! With it, any I look at are tortured to insanity! And for all your powers, you are no different!" Grabbing his scythe, Goukei stalked towards the stunned gunslinger, scythe raised over his head for a killing blow. The flames dissipated, revealing a terrible blade as dark as midnight. His gold eye manic with sadistic glee, his Medusa Eye cold with dispassion and indifference, Goukei whispered, "Good night… sweet prince."

The scythe swung down.

_Whoom!_

Goukei cursed as a dark trench coat was abruptly thrown into his face. At the same time, the gunslinger rolled out of the way of his scythe and stood shakily. "Overrated, don't you think?"

Ripping away the coat with a roar of fury, Goukei fixed his Eye on Darius once more. A flash of green light – and nothing happened, save for a smoldering hole in the wall behind him. The gunslinger's face split into a mad smile as he got up from the ground he'd thrown himself down to. "I knew it." Rushing forward, he traded punches with the oni, allowing himself to be flung back at speed by the incredible force behind Goukei's punch. Turning his backwards momentum into a roll, he came up with his revolver in hand and shot two quick bolts of white danmaku into his face. "It's really just a thin laser – you can only get me if you know where I'm going to be. And so long as I can figure out when you're using it…" True to his word, he leaned out of the way of another blast. "I can dodge it."

The spell card shriveled away in his hands, Goukei forced to tie the cloth back on – it'd just be fighting dirty if he always used it. "Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Now, are we gonna beat each other up or what?" Darius' hands burst into black and white flame as he readied them.

"Oh, you are just _asking_ for me to hand you your ass." Goukei slammed a foot against the floor and lifted a colossal chunk of earth into the air. _"Come on!"_

"Gladly." One hand cloaked in black fire, Darius drew back and launched, sliding under the giant boulder and getting up quickly to deliver a crushing blow to Goukei's face. The oni took a step back – but only one. Throwing his body forward, Goukei leapt up and kneed Darius ferociously. As he folded over his knee in pain, the ex-shinigami simply grinned and slammed his elbow down, letting his leg out from under Darius and slamming him to floor. The gunslinger got up, hissing as he felt his back. "That's gonna be one hell of a back pain later…"

Recovering, he ran forward, sidestepping Goukei's straight punch and wrapping his own arm around it. Quickly spinning, Darius put the oni in a potentially lethal hold, twisting Goukei's arm behind him and forcing him to the ground. "Sorry, but strength's not much if you don't know how to use it."

"And what says I'm not someone who can use it?" Goukei once more broke his own arm, holding back his curses of pain as he reached up and flung Darius off of him, sending the gunslinger tumbling head over heels across the ground to slam into the polished obsidian walls. Holding up a spell card, the oni grinned as his hands ignited, hellfire crackling across them. "Here's a little something I picked up from the phoenix girl! _Crush Sign – Falcon Punch!"_

Darius looked up and had no time to dodge the attack. Instead, his eye twitched as he calmly declared one word.

"Fuck."

Goukei wrung out his hand, feeling the mangled bones regenerating. "Shit, I need to cut back on the recoil." He grinned at the smoking crater five walls through. "At least it's good at what it does, eh?" He kicked back and sat on a small pile of rubble, scythe propped up on the wall beside him. Reaching into his cloak, he pulled out a bottle of vodka – and watched as a black bullet smashed it apart. Grinding his teeth in frustration, he got up and grabbed the Shinokama. "I honestly thought you were beat."

Darius' coat was horribly ripped, several cuts and scrapes on his body. Dark red stains marked where he'd bled. He flinched as he raised the revolver higher. "Don't count me out just yet, Goukei."

The ex-shinigami grinned. "Great! I knew you weren't a squishy."

"But I think it's time I showed you something special." The revolver's chamber opened up, revealing a single spell card. Taking it out, Darius holstered the revolver. "It's a little something Alexa spent an eternity piecing together. Tell me how it works.

**_"Impossibility – Fading Light and Dying Shadows."_**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Oi. Come on, up you get. It wasn't even full power."

Goukei groaned as he dug himself out of the small mountain of rubble that had crushed him after the spell. "Holy shit, man, what was in that thing?"

"I don't think you quite want to know." Darius offered a hand. Goukei smiled and took it, getting up with a small grunt of pain. The gunslinger sighed as he looked around the throne room. "Ah geez, this place is wrecked."

The oni at his side took out a bottle of beer and leaned against the wall. "So, what've you been doing in Gensokyo?"

"I still look like an outsider?"

Goukei laughed. "Yeah, ya kinda do. Blending in, though; you've got that kind of battle air about ya."

Darius shrugged and winced at the pain it set rolling in his shoulders. "Tried to live an ordinary life, fell into a gap, went on all sorts of crazy adventures. Not much else to explain. You?"

"Short version or full version?"

"Why not, full version."

The ex-shinigami sighed and took a long swig. Wiping his mouth afterwards, he sat back down. "Come on, you sit down too. This is gonna take a while…"

**– TOUHOU –**

_So, you already know who I am; Goukei Fukitsunashi, oni and former shinigami. Not too sure what happened in my early years myself, to be honest. I don't even know what kind of youkai I used to be. Heh, really wish I did, but oh well, I can't do anything about it. All I know is that the Ministry of Right and Wrong saw potential in me when I was a little kid, so they took me in and raised me to be a shinigami. Yeah, they do that sometimes, not all shinigami are born like that. Anyways, the Yama decided I should be raised by Death. Yeah, _that_ Death. Grim Reaper, the first shinigami and the best in this world and the next. He used to be my closest friend, a confidant, and a bit of a father figure to me, honestly._

"Wait, you were raised by _Death?_" Darius raised an eyebrow.

Goukei laughed. "Yeah, sounds weird, doesn't it?"

"And… what did you mean by _used to be_?"

The oni's grin wavered slightly. "Well, I'll get to that."

_Nonetheless, I gotta tell you it's one hell of an honour. He taught me everything there was about a death god's job. The Ministry might be in charge of the afterlife, but it _is_ still a corporation of sorts. There are reaper shinigami who collect souls of the dead, collector shinigami that track down souls hiding from death and bring them to the afterlife (by force or by free will), ferryman shinigami who bring the souls across the Sanzu River, and punisher shinigami that regulate Hell. Obviously, with my powers, I was pretty much perfectly suited to the role of punisher. Except it was kinda boring – really, you can only torture someone for so long without breaking them. Eventually, I asked Death if I could have a second role as well, and he let me. He's damn scary when he's out harvesting souls, but also pretty nice when he's off the job._

_That's how I met Komachi, by the way. I don't know if you heard of her, but she's a ferryman; pay her a small fee, she'll float you on to the afterlife. Try to stiff her, however, and she really flips out. I don't think I'll ever forget the one time she chucked a soul off the boat for refusing to pay up. Oh man, it was a new record for how long Shiki-sama yelled at her –_

"Um, can you get on with it?" Darius prompted.

Goukei started. "Oh, right. Sorry…"

_Anyways, Komachi and I were both ferrymen. Pretty boring, but pretty easy. The two of us constantly raced the Sanzu to try and outdo the other. Obviously, Komachi herself was already a seriously good shinigami, able to overflow her boss with work whenever she tried. Of course, since we were racing each other (I realize it sounds cocky, but I like to think I'm a little above her level), Shiki-sama was pretty much drowning in the number of souls she needed to judge. Eventually, she and Death had a talk and agreed to assign me yet another position – the reaper, the most iconic type of shinigami. Except I wound up royally trouncing everyone in that category too. Hey, did you know that sometimes shinigami liked to duel in their off time? It was a thing. Now, most shinigami just learn on their own, maybe the Yama and Death stepped in once in a while, but not much. Obviously, I had a bit of an unfair advantage, what with Death teaching me how to throw around scythes like water balloons._

_Naturally, the time came when I finally convinced Death to let me try and fulfill every shinigami post at once. The only other death god who'd ever done that _in history_ was Death himself, but he wouldn't let me – so I did it anyways. And when he found out… well, we had a falling out, to put it lightly. We parted ways after that. Death sort of turned a blind eye to me after that, so I just went on with following his footsteps._

_That's when things started going sour._

_Remember how I said earlier that the Ministry is still just a company at heart? Well, those companies have job opportunities, but when someone comes along and starts filling up every available post… it doesn't end well. I was actually getting my fellow shinigami laid off by the Ministry of Right and Wrong, strange though it sounds. Eventually, it was just me and Komachi. _

"You seem to have been around that shinigami a lot," noted Darius. "What gives?"

Goukei scratched his cheek semi-awkwardly. "Ahaha… well, what can I say? She was cute, a nice person, and we were kind of in a relationship back then…" He cleared his throat. "But anyways!"

_Things began to escalate. I… I overreached. I decided to try and surpass Death. I tried to become a High Judge of the Dead on top of everything else. And I challenged Shiki-sama to a fight. It came to a point when I, not for the first time, was forced to play dirty to win._

_That was the last straw._

_Death himself came for me. My old friend, my closest friend… we fought. It was a terrible night. I learned for the first time that while shinigami can't die, but can suffer horribly, when… when Komachi took a killing blow meant for me. I managed to fight Death to a draw after that, but surrendered anyways, gladly accepted the exodus from their ranks. Poor Komachi…_

_When I was packing up, she came to see me one last time. Said that we'd see each other again, no matter what. She acts hotheaded, but she's real sappy sometimes. Apparently, Death was moved by the whole thing as I left. He stopped me and offered me his Shinokama, the first scythe he ever used. It's a living weapon, has a physical form in its wielder's dream world. One of the few that exist, and it's almost impossible to forcibly make a living weapon like that. He gave it to me, made me swear to never sink as low as I had again. It was a promise I'd sworn to Komachi, sworn to Death… Sworn to myself._

_After that, I was left to wander the Earth, to simply explore. The stronger youkai can simply sustain themselves with pure power for years on end, though many of us simply eat and sleep because we feel like it, or because of habit. At one point, I went to Greece by the Shinokama's request. He'd said there was a powerful youkai living there, and one that needed to be put down. I went, and it was a terrible idea. I met the Queen of Snakes there…_

_Medusa._

_And let me tell you, those myths were damn wrong. She wasn't even beheaded! Apparently, she was missing an eye and had a colossal scar on her neck when I got there, so that's what that Greek hero used in his shield. Probably slit her throat as she slept and stole the eye. Obviously, I couldn't do anything similar. The good news was that her power was crippled without both eyes, so she couldn't petrify me with a glance. It took a metric ass-ton of effort, but I decked her and ripped out her eye. Even blind, she repaid the favour and tore out mine. Heh. Literally an eye for an eye – except not really. I did kill Medusa in the end, and got her eye as a trophy. Decided it would be a good idea to try and use it to replace my missing eye._

_Fucking terrible idea._

_Now I had to always cover up my eye when I was really anywhere – all the plants I look at with the Medusa Eye instantly withers away, lesser animals die when we make eye contact, and anyone I looked at instantly went mad with pain. On the plus side, my powers were channeled only through the Eye, so no worries about accidentally torturing someone because I got mad. Unless I reach for this cloth. In which case, run._

_I suppose you're right – where did I even get this cloth? It's magic, obviously. No normal cloth could suppress Medusa's powers. For the first time in centuries, that was when I went back to Death. God, now _that_ was awkward – what do you tell the person who might as well be your father after having not seen each other in centuries, with your last sight of each other having been trying to kill each other?_

_Well, we got over it in the end. Like I said, Death is actually a really nice guy. He forgave me, though most of the High Judges didn't. He said Shiki-sama had been forgiving too, though it's still frosty between us. Eventually, she was assigned to Gensokyo, and Death encouraged me to follow her. Only problem was that I was still an exiled shinigami, shunned by the others. Not that I cared, but it wasn't exactly a nice feeling. Then I met a strange oni in a bar one night while drowning my not-exactly-sorrows. Said he saw a future in me, made me an oni – though I can't say exactly what the process is. All I can say is that getting horns hurts._

_Eventually, the day came when youkai were sent underground. I was a double threat to them, or so they thought. An already exiled shinigami that went toe to toe with a Yama and won, not to mention he was an oni? The other onis had already left. I was standing alone. I decided to try and fight for our right to stay._

_It didn't end well._

_I mean, come on! On one hand, you've got a Death-taught shinigami. Sure, that's pretty powerful. But on the other hand, there's a Hakurei Miko, that freaky-ass Yakumo, her two shikigamis, and a small army who wanted me gone! Of course, I didn't dare to throw down dirty – I don't break promises. It was something my mysterious oni friend liked about me, or so he said. After I lost, I conceded and went to the Former Capital. Time passed, you came along…_

_And, well, here we are._


	26. Advent of Death

Remilia crashed to the ground, torn mob cap landing several feet away from her. Eye flickering, she reached into her dress. _"S-scarlet Genso–"_

"Enough." Remilia flinched as the vajra was pointed into her face. "You've lost."

The vampire ground her teeth. "… Flan?"

"Also defeated." Shou gave the ropes binding the younger vampire one last tug.

"Whee!" Flandre swung herself back and forth from the ceiling, still securely bound. "Again, again! Let's do that again!"

Shou rolled her eyes. "Now tell us what's going on, vampire."

Remilia thumped her head on the floor once and sighed. "He's in the castle in the sky. The large black one."

Byakuren raised an eyebrow. "We didn't see anything like that on the way here."

"It's cloaked," explained the Scarlet Devil. She got up and leaned on the wall heavily. "You should be able to find it – look for the storm clouds."

The magician nodded and stowed away her weapon. "Thank you."

As the two left, Remilia waited for several more seconds before speaking. "Sakuya~"

**"Not here."**

Remilia stiffened as she got a response. Was it just her imagination, or did more than one person say that…?

**"Truly, vampire, we must thank you for rearing such a good maid. To think you tamed a member of the legendary vampire hunting clan, the Helsings! Her powers… were delicious."**

"W-what do you mean?" Remilia managed to mutter. Behind her, she heard the rise and fall of feet, a dark yellow dress designed in the vein of a trench coat drifted across her view. Its owner laughed at the question.

**"Don't worry; her powers are only nullified for now. She ****_should_**** regain her powers later – assuming she lives."**

The vampire's eyes widened. "You _dare_ to–"

**"Assault the maid of the Scarlet Devil in such a fashion?"** The mysterious girl grabbed Remilia by the throat and lifted her into the air. **"Why, yes. Yes, we do."**

"You…!"

**"Us."** Karin grinned, revealing two rows of razor-sharp teeth. A thick, black aura hung around her as her eyes constantly shifted through a myriad of colours; yellow to purple, purple to black, black to red, red to yellow. **"We need your powers as well, little vampire."** She raised her other hand, a spearhead formed from darkness materializing around it. **"Now, this'll only hurt a bit – oh, who are we kidding? It burns like fire!"**

Remilia's form went limp.

Karin dropped her disdainfully, feeling the power course through her. **"Another soul, added…"** She raised a hand to her face and flexed it slowly, watching the black aura flicker to red briefly. **"Such power, in the hands of such a petulant child."** She pointed a finger at the unconscious vampire, watching a gap form under her – except it wasn't a gap like Yukari's. Instead, the dimension it led to was an endlessly shifting mass of rolling, bloodshot eyes – not a single speck of space between them. Rather than being bound with ribbons, it was bound with a set of torn stitches, the lining of the gap a disturbing crimson.

She clenched her hand, the gap winking back out of existence. **"Now, for that cute little Flan…"**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Byakuren-sama, there you are!" Murasa ran over to the tired monk. "We tried to follow you in, but that gate guard woke up and wouldn't let us through." With this, she shot a dirty look at the redhead eyeing them from the gates.

Meiling shrugged. "Sorry, it's part of my job."

"So anyways, what happened in there?" Murasa hoisted the anchor back over the edge and set the Palanquin flying once more.

"Fought the vampire and her maid," Byakuren wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead. "She said to find the moving storm clouds."

"We were wondering about that, actually…" Nue pointed to the giant black cloud slowly drifting across the sky, far above them. As they watched, the clouds crackled, lightning running across its bottom. "It's been coming closer ever since you went in."

Shou narrowed her eyes as she watched it. "Too easy," she muttered. "He wouldn't just let us onboard… would he?"

"Only one way to find out!" Murasa spun the wheel in her hands wildly, making the ship almost keel over. "Oh, crap, sorry… but let's face it, girls; the only way to find a trap is to spring it! So let's do thi–"

_BOOM!_

A vibrant red lightning bolt smashed the deck with a deafening clap of thunder, knocking everyone to the floor. As they got up, they saw a charred crater in the deck, smoke still rising from it. As the clouds covered the Palanquin, they cast a shadow over it, dimming its light. Slowly a figure began to rise from the crater left by the lightning, a glowing fiery blade sparking to life at her side…

"_Whoo!_" Tenshi jumped into the air a little. "That was awesome!" Then she remembered there were others on board with her. Recovering, she straightened. "_Ahem._ I am sorry, but I can't let you enter the fortress. If you wish to enter, blah blah blah, fight me and stuff, blah blah blah, come on. Now, _return to the earth!_" And, drawing her sword, she plunged it into the deck of the ship.

Five massive earth spires erupted from far below them, impaling the ship. Bending to the Celestial's will, they curled, wrapping themselves around the Palanquin and pulling it back to the ground. Tenshi tugged her sword free, but the spires remained, firmly attaching them to the ground. "Well? Let's fight, Hijiri!"

The magician sighed as she drew her vajra once more. The number of consecutive fights was slowly getting to her; did Reimu go through this on practically a weekly basis? Activating the golden sword in one hand and drawing her scroll with the other, it once more floated behind her, spells being cast from its depths.

Tenshi grinned. "That's what I thought."

And she leapt to the attack.

The first strike, and the two of them crossed swords, energy blades grating against each other. With a powerful shove, Byakuren broke their stalemate, knocking Tenshi off-balance and immediately following up with a palm strike – only to reel, clutching her hand. "What the…?"

"That's right! The hardened body of a Celestial!" Tenshi seized her opportunity, dashing forward and sliding around Byakuren, keystone materializing. A quick strike sent Byakuren spinning, followed by a powerful blow with her sword. Grabbing another keystone from nowhere, she drove it into the ground, red energy seeping from it as it began to slowly grow.

"Byakuren-sama!" Shou started forward, but stopped as a wall of rock erupted before her.

Tenshi lowered her hand, grinning. "Sorry, no interference allowed."

She turned back to the magician and was immediately delivered a powerful kick to the face. Clutching her face, Tenshi slammed her sword into the ground, the earth instantly tearing up and rippling away from her, staggering Byakuren as the Celestial backed away. "How did you do that?"

The magician said nothing as the scroll behind her continued to crank out enhancement spells. Taking a single step forward, her outline blurred, and she crossed over to Tenshi in that one step, vajra swinging down. The Celestial swore in panic and quickly grabbed a keystone, throwing it out before her. As expected, the keystone shattered, the served its purpose, but it gave Tenshi the opening she needed. _"Keystone – World Creation Press!"_

Sweeping forward, she launched herself into Byakuren, brutally tossing her into the air and immediately leaping after her. Before she could react, Tenshi had generated a colossal keystone and promptly dropped it, driving Byakuren into the ground. Tearing apart the keystone, the Celestial proceeded to take her sword and smash it into Byakuren at full force.

The magician was sent skittering out of the hole, turning her tumble into a controlled roll, and came up standing. The bomb-type spell card flickered and disappeared, Tenshi rolling out the kinks in her shoulders. "Ah, that was a good warm-up. Now, let's really begin, shall we?"

Murasa raised an eyebrow from the sidelines. "Warming up?"

Tenshi ignored her, dispelling the Hisou no Tsurugi and instead placing a hand flat against the earth. Magic laced in her words, she called out, _"Crumble away, and fall into the sky."_ Red lines raced from her hands, drawing an intricate pattern across the ground. _"Tochi ni Oshikakeru!"_

The ground fractured, splitting perfectly along the earthen lines. Many parts of it exploded into the air, other sections began to fall away, no longer supported by the necessary magic keeping them afloat. The entire battlefield _rippled_, the earth itself tearing up and turning into a jagged mountain of razor-edged chaos. Tenshi pulled her hand out of the earth and wiped off the dirt, her sword manifesting once more. "Now, let's try this again!"

The earth bending around her to allow her free movement, Tenshi rushed Byakuren, breaking her guard with a quick shoulder ram. With a quick gesture of her hand, and the earth beneath the magician cracked, a pillar blasting her skywards. Raising herself on another pillar, Tenshi leapt into the air with the propulsion provided by her pillar. "It's over!"

Byakuren raised her arm, the sword running along her skin harmlessly. At her side, the scroll closed itself and returned to her pocket. She muttered, "All spells cast."

Tenshi's eyes widened as she felt Byakuren's vice-like grip slam shut on her wrist. Swinging around the Celestial, Byakuren tossed her back down to earth. Flipping back over as she fell, Tenshi forced the earth to bend under her, turning her crash landing into a much softer touchdown. Reaching into the mangled mountain beside her, Tenshi pulled out a keystone almost bigger than herself – the same keystone she'd driven into the ground earlier. Grabbing a much smaller keystone, she flung it at the magician, knocking her out of the air despite dealing minimal damage. Without even giving her a chance to rise, Tenshi generated her sword and plunged it into the keystone at her feet.

A colossal earthquake initiated, the distorted ground around them falling apart as it shook and burying Byakuren under it. Tenshi grinned and dispelled the sword once again. "Game over." Turning away, she began to rise once more on a keystone – but paled as she heard a voice.

_"Superhuman Sign – Byakuren Hijiri!"_

With a blast of strength, the magician flew out from the mountain, effortlessly tearing through countless layers of rock. Drawing back, she delivered a punishing blow to Tenshi's gut, sending her flying back to earth. Landing lightly, Byakuren immediately blasted across the torn earth. Getting to her feet, Tenshi was barely able to throw up keystones in time to block Byakuren's lightning-quick strikes. Grinding her teeth in frustration, Tenshi shouted, _"Spirit Sign – State of Enlightenment!"_

A blast of red lightning, and Tenshi raised an arm to block Byakuren's high kick, completely ignoring what should have been enough pain to make her crumple. Grabbing a keystone, Tenshi slammed it into Byakuren's gut and fired, sending the magician skidding several feet.

Tenshi ran forward, the Sword of Scarlet Perception held out to the side. She shrugged off Byakuren's knee strike, and instead returned the favour by grabbing the extended leg and swinging Byakuren over her head and around, breaking her preternatural speed and strength. At the same time, she felt her own spell card leave her, and winced as a blast of pain swept through her. Ignoring it, she stomped a foot into the ground, an earth pillar bringing her high into the air. Drawing the Hisou no Tsurugi once more, she also held out a spell card and grinned. _"Scarlet Weather Rapture."_

The sword began to spin before her and she let loose a colossal red beam of light. Byakuren watched it approach and drew her own spell card, raising it above her. _"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"_

The intricate lotus runes formed behind her and she fired, four beams shooting forward alongside countless streams of bullets. The two terrifying forces met, and a burst of light blinded them all.

**– TOUHOU –**

"So this is where he is, huh?" Murasa disembarked the Palanquin, glancing at the black clouds they were somehow standing on. Scuffing her feet, she noticed it was actually just condensed smoke – they were really standing on a chunk of floating earth. "I gotta say, he's got style."

The colossal pitch black fortress could have towered over even the Scarlet Devil Mansion, almost twice its height. The walls were hewn from a volcanic glass – obsidian, gleaming in the sunlight. Running along the outlines of the castle and making up the pillars was tempered steel, giving the whole thing an odd black-white appearance. Several towers lined the fortress, a faint light coming from their windows. Unlit torches lay on either side of the shattered steel gates outside the castle.

Nue poked the mangled steel. "It looks like we weren't the first ones here." Shrugging, she turned to the ship. "Hey, Shou! You coming or what?"

"No. I'll keep an eye on this Celestial." She gave Tenshi an untrusting look. The Celestial had been tied tightly to the mast – though it didn't look like she minded too much…

"Well, if you insist." Stepping over the twisted steel, Nue gestured for the others to follow. "Come on! I need to take a closer look at these doors."

The doors in question were made of steel similar to the gates. Several dents were hammered into it by what looked suspiciously like fist marks, not to mention several bloodstains, but the insignia of yin-yang etched across them remained untouched. Byakuren pressed a hand against it. "But how do we open it…?"

To her surprise the doors glowed briefly before swinging away, admitting them entry into a darkened hallway.

"He knows we're here." Murasa was unusually quiet as she stepped into the spacious chamber with them. Behind the trio, the doors slammed shut with an echoing boom, followed by several clicks and the rasping sound of a key turning in its lock, plunging them into darkness. It seemed they weren't getting out that way.

For several seconds, they held their breath, waiting for something to happen. Then, on the far end of the hallway, a single red light appeared. It danced in a crescent pattern, before the hallway was suddenly filled with light. The ornate chandelier hanging from the ceiling ignited, along with the many torches along the walls. As their light appeared, they allowed the trio a brief glimpse of a dark red cloak flitting out of sight, closing the door behind it as it moved.

"Hey!" Nue started forward. "Who was that? Where is he?"

_"Right behind you,"_ a voice hissed in her ear. With a shriek, Nue jumped a mile into the air, clinging tightly to the chandelier. With a peal of laughter, the strange man, now easily seen to have brown hair and one covered eye, backed away. "Yo!"

"You're that oni…" Byakuren muttered as she stared at him.

The oni nodded. "Yeah, I'm the one who fought with the gunslinger a month ago. Goukei Fukitsunashi, the one and only, at your not-quite-service!" Taking out a half-empty beer bottle, he rapidly downed the contents and tossed them away, ignoring it as it exploded into sharp little bits and pieces a ways off. Reaching over his back, he swung his scythe around, holding it in a combat stance. "Now, I've got a favour or two to pay off to the gunslinger. This'll be part one of it; not letting you into the upper tower."

"So he's in the upper towers?" Byakuren's words made Goukei flinch.

"Damn – wait, no I was supposed to say that. Well, yeah, he is. But you still need to get past me!" He grinned as he ran a hand down the scythe's handle. _"Cleave the world in twain and harvest the souls of the damned! Shinokama!"_ The scythe's second blade formed, both edges exploding into terrifying hellfire. Spinning the Shinokama in one hand, Goukei grinned. "I don't care if I just fought that crazy Loyhrs! _Let's do this!"_

With a thunderous crack of air, his arm snapped forward, tossing the double-edged scythe like a Frisbee. Reacting quickly, Murasa leapt to the side, Nue into the air. Byakuren stepped forward to meet it and drew the golden blade, the two weapons deflecting each other with a shower of light and an explosive bang. A quick tug, and Goukei called back the scythe as he ran. With another step, he jumped up swung out with it, catching Nue's side and hooking her. Swinging around the Shinokama, the ex-shinigami drove the youkai into a wall. Pulling the scythe free, he turned back to the others.

"Let's really get this show on the road." And with that, he drew a spell card from the depths of his cloak. _"Death Sign – Soul Harvesting Sickles!"_

Raising a hand to the air, a small danmaku sickle formed, short-handled and with a large crescent blade. It spun in place for the briefest moment before it began to home in. Quickly, more and more tiny sickles continued to form, effectively choking out all the space in the room like a swarm of locusts. Throwing out an arm, Goukei shouted, _"Feast!"_

The sickles quickly fell back to the walls, turning the obsidian walls into a lethal mess of spinning metal. Sickles rapidly began to bounce back and forth across the chamber, Goukei stepping back as a flurry of sickles concealed him from view. With one last bark of laughter, he dissolved into part of the swarm, quickly dispersing himself into the storm.

_"How will you fight me?"_ The ex-shinigami's voice had distorted, sounding like the rasping of metal against metal. As Byakuren and Murasa turned, trying to dodge the whirling mass around them, they saw Goukei, constantly flitting between humanoid and sickle form. To make it worse, his appearance was completely random, vanishing and reappearing with no set pattern.

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting someone?" A trident sailed across the room, slamming Goukei out of yet another transformation and throwing him to the ground. Nue leapt after it, wings extended and poised to impale. "You really thought I was out of it with one hit?"

Goukei tore free the trident from his chest with a hiss of pain. It seemed the non-lethal rules of spell cards didn't apply to him – he was immortal, in a way. As the hole in his chest rapidly closed up, he raised the bloodied trident Nue had thrown at him. "Oi, heads up, you stupid alien! _Return to sender!"_

Raising a hand, Nue expertly slid under the projectile trident, running a hand along the handle and swinging it around without even slowing down. Before her, Goukei swore loudly and slammed a hand against the floor. Instantly, a rift formed, a fountain of sickle danmaku spewing out of it – catching Nue right in the midst of it.

"Clever girl," he muttered as he grabbed his scythe from the floor beside him. "Too bad it's not doing you much good."

The sickles stopped flying from the ravine, dropping the battered figure of Nue into it. Before she could get up, Goukei leapt in after her, the Shinokama raised for a killing blow. _"Die!"_

The scythe fell – and grated across the surface of a red UFO. It burst, spilling metal parts and strange red tabs, but its purpose had been served. Goukei realized he'd walked right into a trap as six wings impaled him and then tossed him sideways into the wall of the thin ravine. As the dust settled, Nue got up. "So, what do you think of my – _gah!_"

"I'm sorry, your what?" Goukei laughed as he lowered his foot, a single high kick having sent Nue sprawling. "I must be hearing things. Now, accept your fate!" His Shinokama erupted in hellfire, but as he rushed forward, a colossal anchor slammed across his side, driving him into the wall. Pulling himself free, he swore. "Alright, who the _fuck_ is it now!?"

"Look above you!" Murasa brought around another anchor and dropped it on his stunned face, forcing him deeper into the ravine. Grabbing him by the collar, the ghost captain tossed him back into the air. "Byakuren!"

Sure enough, Goukei saw the magician step forward, a massive blade of golden energy erupting from the end of her vajra. Bringing it around, she slashed him into the air with a mighty uppercut strike, leaping after him with enough force to crack the tiles beneath her.

Byakuren swung the vajra one last time – and stared as Goukei grabbed the energy blade with his bare hands, hellfire spreading along the blade. The fires condensed, crushing the blade out of existence, and Goukei raised his head, one hand reaching for the cloth that hid his trump card.

"Sorry, but you're not the only one who can set traps."

Byakuren realized too late what she walked into. With a burst of speed, she tried to distance herself from the madly grinning oni, only to feel metal blades cutting at her back. Looking around them, Byakuren narrowed her eyes as she understood the extent of the trap.

"That's right, Hijiri!" Goukei laughed as the eyepatch fell away, green light seeping from behind the hand that now hid his eye. "My spell card never broke! And now, I will break _you!_" The hand fell away, and the halls were bathed with a terrifying green light. _"FALL!"_

And fall did Byakuren, dropping out of the sky as if swatted by a giant hand. The many airborne sickles followed her down, slamming the magician into the ground at speed. She tried to rise from the crater, but cried out as another wave of pain hit her, crumpling her like paper.

"No amount of defensive wards can protect you from the Eye of Medusa!" Goukei touched down in front of Byakuren and watched her ailing under his relentless torture with an inhuman glee. _"I shall break you!"_

"Put a lid on it, you drunk bastard!"

_WHAM!_

Goukei staggered, actually spinning from the force of the punch. Murasa lowered her fist, wiping off the oni's blood. "I mean, holy crap, that is just going over the top with it! We get it, you're messed up in the head!"

The ex-shinigami wiped away the trickle of blood from the side of his mouth. "Alright, I give. But it looks like the damage is done." Sure enough, it seemed as if Byakuren was having trouble even staying conscious at this point. Closing his eyes, Goukei drew a spell card. "Now, let's end this, _Captain_ Minamitsu. One last spell card."

Murasa grinned as she grabbed another massive anchor. "Fine with me!"

Carelessly, the oni tossed aside his scythe, cracking his knuckles and raising the spell card over his head. As it shone with an unholy green light, his eyes opened. _"Sinister Death – Balore's Most Wretched Curse!"_

The green laser formed from his eye, razing the walls as it lashed out, slicing apart the steel pillars and obsidian walls alike as if they were made of cardboard. Everywhere he looked, explosions formed as he overclocked the eye's power, the sheer tremendous magic energy blowing apart the battlefield. Fragmented obsidian shrapnel flew and steel beams fell from the ceiling as Goukei swept around the terrifying might of his trump card.

Murasa hooked a chain through her anchor as she slid out from cover, Goukei having had to wind up for another beam. Not intending to give him the chance, she flung the anchor at full force. "This ends now!"

"Oh, it most certainly does!" Goukei ran at the anchor and unveiled his eye, _piercing_ the massive metal construct and tearing it to pieces, the explosion blowing it apart, four metal splinters sailing past him harmlessly as he pointed the deadly laser in Murasa's direction. To his surprise, the ghost captain dropped to the floor, the giant laser skimming less than inch over her. Sliding past Goukei, Murasa leapt up and drew back her fist.

_"Shipwreck Sign – Sea-Splitting Strike!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

Shou stopped whacking Tenshi as she heard footsteps. For whatever reason, the first words out of the Celestial's mouth after she'd been ungagged were to be tied tighter. Flabbergasted, the tiger youkai simply went along with it, even beating Tenshi over the head when she insisted she'd been a 'bad girl'.

Freaky masochists.

She turned, a wide smile on her face. "Byakuren-sama! You're back… early…" She drew the jewelled pagoda from her side. "Who are you and what do you want?"

**"Move out of the way."** Karin snapped shut her fan and pointed it at the Celestial behind her. **"We need the girl."**

"Hold on a second. You're… that girl…"

Karin snickered. **"Very descriptive. Now, move or we will make you move."**

Shou drew a set of spell cards from her pocket. "You're cloaked in evil. What… what happened to you!?"

**"We saw the truth."** Karin raised her hands and swung them down. Despite being on the opposite side of the ship from Shou and there being no way she should have been able to strike from such a distance, the tiger youkai was sent flying, cracking a tree in half as she slammed into it.

"What? How?" Shou began to get up, but cried out as a boot slammed down on her, grinding into her chest.

**"We have half a mind to kill you right now, impudent one."** Karin slammed her foot a little harder, hearing the satisfying sound of bones cracking. **"But alas, we have more important things to attend to. Be grateful, tiny youkai." **Her eyes fell on the jewelled pagoda, now lying abandoned next to Tenshi. She picked it up, running a hand along it. **"This, however, I will be taking with me."**

Tenshi's eyes were wide as she struggled against her bonds, desperate to escape as Karin neared her. Finally, the ropes came loose, and she backed away. No thoughts of fighting – just _run._

However, as she turned halfway, she felt a massive, searing pain in her chest.

**"Oh, so close, but so far away,"** crooned Karin. She withdrew her hand from Tenshi's back, watching the blood drip from it. The Celestial collapsed, falling into yet another stitched gap. Looking at the obsidian castle before her, Karin breathed, **"I'll be coming for you next…**

**"Little gunslinger."**


	27. The Castle in the Sky

**And here we go! The final chapter of the Blame Yukari Incident. Please enjoy!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"So…" Darius faced away from his 'visitors', but he knew they were there. "You have come at last."

Byakuren drew her vajra from her pocket. "Yes. I have… Darius."

"Guess it's just you and me. There's a reason no one else may enter the throne room." A cold wind began to blow, the torches going out one by one. "Do you want to know the reason?"

The monk remained silent, but the gunslinger took it as an affirmative. "It was… it was… um. What was my line?"

Byakuren stared as his composure broke, running right past the magician to rifle through the table near the large double doors. "What the…?"

"Dammit, I know Yukari left a copy of the script in here somewhere." Darius continued recklessly tossing aside papers. "Where is it, where is it, where is it – found you! Yes!" He gave the sheet of papers a quick kiss and pressed the button on the fans by the door that had been producing the cold wind. He sprinted past Byakuren, back to where he was before. Clearing his throat, he went on as if nothing had happened. "This is not an incident that really involves others. This is between us."

"Yukari set this up, didn't she," deadpanned Byakuren.

Darius turned and made a hushing noise. "The audience is watching, stick to the script!" Sighing, he nodded anyways, "Yeah, blame Yukari for deciding to stage a fake incident. Never mind the fact we're _actually_ floating around in the sky right now. The things that stupid gap hag will do for entertainment..." A hand reached out from a gap and smacked him upside the head. "Ow! Fine, fine, I'll get on with it, geez."

Byakuren watched in slight disbelief as he stuffed the offending hand back into the gap. "Now, can we finish the damn 'pre-final-boss-battle-scene'?"

"Um, okay…?"

"Thank you. Now, as I was saying: This is between us. It does not concern the others." He turned dramatically, coat blowing in the wind.

**[VS Darius Theme: CROW'S CLAW ~ Holy Butterfly]**

"Byakuren, with the heavens as my witness, I shall cut you down. I have gained the secret of balance. I have seen this world for what it really is." A purple aura began to form around him as he drew his sword. "And now, let the universe behold your defeat. May your emotional skyscraper crumble; your cosmic mind, destroyed. Come!"

Byakuren sighed. "I'm sorry for this." The sword in her hands blazed to life.

Darius simply smiled as the sword in his hands erupted with energy, the black-white blade exploding from it as he swung. Reacting quickly, Byakuren brought up her own sword, the impact sending a wave of energy through the throne room. Rearing back for an instant, Darius brought up a foot and spun, catching the magician with a quick spin kick, followed up with an unrelenting barrage of sword blows.

"What the – how'd you get so fast?" And it was true. The gunslinger was suddenly moving at inhuman speeds – possibly even fast enough to keep up with Byakuren's infamous superhuman spell card.

"Offsetting the balance of speed and slowness. In effect, I am breaking barriers." Darius zipped past the magician, landing a glancing blow, but made an impossible U-turn at the other end of the throne room and darting back around at double his previous speed, converting all that momentum into a devastating strike. "This is truly going quite differently from our last match, isn't it?"

"You could say that." Byakuren swung her vajra, forcing Darius to block it. Pushing back with a sudden burst of strength, she delivered a quick shoulder ram, followed by a strike with the hilt of her vajra and then a proper slash with the blade.

The gunslinger staggered, but managed to jump out of the way of her next barrage of attacks. Rapidly leaping backwards to his throne, it split, propelling him into the air as his wings formed. Beneath them, a massive blazing sigil burned to life in the floor. The symbol of perfect balance, and the source of Darius' power – the yin-yang.

A hexagram materialized, quickly overlaid by the same whirling sigil as Darius called his first spell card. _"Absent World – Wuji Storm!"_

_Low-powered version,_ noted Byakuren as she skirted around the first laser, then leapt out of the way as the explosions rapidly trailed after it. A second laser immediately swept after her as she ran, the explosions tearing at the ground in her wake. _He's conserving his power for something…_

The yin-yang behind him spun faster, and he began to use both hands, lasers sweeping across the arena in seemingly random patterns. However, the magician realized they were slowly closing in. They were _boxing_ her in!

_"Superhuman Sign – Byakuren Hijiri!"_ With an extreme burst of speed, she leapt over the final barrage as it slammed in on her previous position, the final explosion splattering danmaku over the room. Weaving through it, she was barely visible, a black-white blur as she tore at the ground before leaping into the air, a golden trail forming behind her. Swinging the vajra up and around, the golden blade dug into Darius' side, breaking his spell card and throwing him to the ground. The hexagram shattered, yin-yang fading away as he leapt back to his feet, one foot behind him as he waited for Byakuren to approach. With another burst of speed, she closed the distance between them…

_Bang!_

The magician was sent reeling, dusting off her dress irritably. Darius raised the revolver a little higher, muzzle still smoking after his quick draw. _"Acerbatus,"_ he whispered.

Byakuren flipped out of the way as the massive skull-like bullet formed and fired. "You don't even need a spell card for it anymore?"

"Perhaps." Darius swept forward, gun in hand. Ducking under the first slash, he came up with a knee raised, performing a powerful knee strike that sent Byakuren skidding several feet. Before she could recover, he levelled the revolver and fired three times.

Three glowing orbs of white energy burst from the gun, floating in mid-air for a moment before they began to slowly home in, rapidly picking up speed as they moved. The first flew past Byakuren as she sidestepped it, ducked under the second, and deflected the third. However, Darius simply smiled as he flicked his wrist. Their momentum stopped, and they began to home in once more, acting like they were on elastics as they continually flew past Byakuren, slowed down as if stretching their elastics, and then floated back in.

Finally getting her bearings, Byakuren hit the ground rolling as all three light orbs flew over her and slammed into each other, cancelling each other out. Getting up quickly, she brought her fist crashing across the gunslinger's face, sending him reeling. Feeling the bruise on his cheek, he frowned. "Alright, playtime's over." As he lifted his hands, the yin-yang symbol burned to life on the floor.

**_"Impossibility – Fading Light and Dying Shadows."_**

Her vision turned stark black and white, no grey in between – solid black, or solid white. Even the sky was a uniform white, every cloud on it a depressing black. As she watched, the black and the white began to merge, warping and twisting around each other.

_"Balance,"_ Darius whispered over her shoulder. But as she turned, he was gone, a black shadow falling to the ground and melting away. A hand wrapped around her shoulder. _"Such a delicate thing."_

Swinging her around, he flicked his arm upwards, a blast of black and white energy sending her cascading into the arched ceiling high above them. _"So… impossible to achieve. But with this spell card, I can temporarily render this battlefield in full balance. In perfect harmony."_ Byakuren fell from the ceiling, Darius jumping up to meet her. She raised her vajra in defense, but a laser bat the weapon out of her hands. A single palm strike and a small-scale explosion saw the magician tumbling to the ground. _"And, in this perfect balance, I too, become one with it – if only for such a short amount of time."_

Looking up, she realized his words were right. There was no emotion in his face – there was a disquieting calm, a perfect balance on his black-white features. _"And with this balance, I gain full control over those whose balance can be altered. And because everything requires balance…"_

He slammed a hand into the ground, black spires erupting from the ground. Byakuren leapt back and watched as they fell apart, erupting into white danmaku. _"It is a state of silence, a state of perfection… a state of depression."_

"What do you mean?" Byakuren grabbed another vajra from her pockets.

_"In a world of order, in a world of balance, in a world of perfection, would there be excitement? No, because no one would see fit to alter the harmony. No, because all would perceive it to be, in fact, perfect."_ Darius swung with his sword, watched it as it slammed against Byakuren's. _"Do you remember the Celestial? She saw Bhava-Agra. She saw the closest thing our world has to perfection. And what did she think of it?"_

A blast of energy staggered Byakuren. Darius pointed his sword at her, the black clouds firing off laser danmaku behind him. _"That's right; she found it boring. Depressing. Maddening. And yet, everyone else thought it was perfect. They all thought it was the ultimate reward, a state of enlightenment."_ The world's colour slowly began to bleed back, but not entirely. _"The true balance is not a world of perfection. It is not order. It is a balance of order and chaos. Of sins and virtues. Of love and hate. True balance resides in having both. The so-called paradise is a lie. It is hell."_ As his lecture continued, the danmaku continued to fire from every available surface. They stopped shooting, instead a massive ball of black and white energy forming in his hands. _"Gensokyo is believed to be a paradise. It is not 'perfect' in the exact definition. However, it is 'perfect' in the sense that it is balanced. There is peace, and there is war. In that manner, it is balance._

_"May the world return to proper balance. May the impossible remain impossible."_

With those last ominous words, the world's colour returned in full, just as the laser blasted out, catching Byakuren up in it and throwing her through several walls, the volcanic glass crumbling easily. Darius staggered, one hand on the wall. "Shit, that's a tough spell to use…"

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Byakuren limped to her feet, drawing her scroll and rapidly casting healing spells.

Darius smiled grimly. "Not entirely. Balance is difficult to achieve, but not impossible."

"Well," Byakuren got up properly. "I never took you for a philosopher."

"I'm a lot of things," the gunslinger shrugged. "Nice to see you think so highly of my spell card."

"Oh, I most certainly don't."

"Only because I floored you with it."

The magician chuckled. "Alright, you win that one. Now, shall we continue?"

Darius grinned and drew another spell card. "Let's.

_"Solar Sign – Light Speed Lock-On!"_

_"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"_

Both spell cards were declared at the same time. As the wings burst from his back once more, the intricate lotus petal runes formed behind Byakuren, four lasers blasting out, followed by a swarm of danmaku. Rebounding off the walls at near-sonic speed, Darius vaulted over lasers, weaved around the larger bullets, and outright forced his way through the smaller ones. He closed the distance between them –

_BOOM!_

Byakuren retrieved her vajra and leapt away from Darius, lasers blasting her into the air with the recoil. The smoke cleared, and the gunslinger got up from the ground, smiling slightly as he felt the tattered cloth of his abused trench coat. "Nice to see you've still got your edge. Too bad I'll be blunting it now." And again he moved, blasting past everything that tried to hit him with ease, flying around every bullet, every laser as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He muttered under his breath, "Thanks, Lexa." He wondered if she was listening, even though the living weapon had gone silent.

Ramming into Byakuren at full speed, he broke her spell card at sent the both of them tumbling across the floor. Skidding, he came up kneeling with his revolver in his hands. _"Acerbatus!"_

Again the skull-like bullet formed, but this time Byakuren was unable to step out of the way in time. The electrified curse slammed into her and exploded, cannoning her another several feet back. Getting up, she grinned as she drew her own spell card. _"Hijiri Arcanum – Angirasa Veda!"_

"Oh, we're playing it that way, huh?" Darius drew his own Arcanum. "Then let's finish this with style! _Loyhrs Arcanum – Last Man's Death at the End of the Eons!"_

Byakuren's scroll glowed violently, a myriad of colours spiralling across its surface as tendrils of magic began to emanate from it, wreathing the magician in their power. Darius raised an arm to the heavens, a wide grin on his face as he spread his hand, the yin-yang forming beneath him and releasing its black-white magic, fuelling him.

He clenched his fist, and it faded, though he was now wrapped in its black-white magic, the ground around him cracking under the raw power. Opposite to him, Byakuren tossed aside her vajra, the lotus petals still at her back, the very air crackling with power and glowing with its golden light. The two of them took one step forward, the simple gesture throwing a wave of energy out. Another step, and another, and another, and they rapidly picked up speed, before long full-out sprinting out each other.

Byakuren drew her fist back, swinging it around with enough power to tear a mountain in half. Darius' eyes blazed, the iris turning from their usual brown to a black-white, spinning symbol for a brief instant, and he howled, the world turning black and white for the briefest instant as he vanished. Appearing above Byakuren, he leapt down, foot swinging around to slam her into the earth with a devastating drop kick. The magician rolled out of the way as he landed, the floor peeling away from him. The world flickered once more, and he rushed forward. Byakuren brought up a leg and swung it, matching Darius' kick with her own. For several seconds, they remained still, neither side willing to back down, until Byakuren moved, letting Darius' kick flying over her head as she ducked.

Darius' eyes widened as he felt a bone-crushing force ram into his gut. The golden light exploded, and Byakuren rocketed forward, Darius being dragged along with her through countless walls. Suddenly stopping, her feet tore identical trenches into the ground as she slowed to a halt, the gunslinger slamming through one last wall, the obsidian crumbling around him. He raised his head and watched as Byakuren leapt into the air, four lotus petals glowing with power. He shook his head and muttered, "Looks like I dropped the ball on this one…"

The wave of golden light swept over the entire fortress, a second sun hanging in the sky for the briefest of moments.

Byakuren touched down, lotus runes fading away. She eyed the limp figure of Darius warily as she stepped closer to it. A single hand reached out to touch his forehead, and the instant it did, his eyes snapped open.

The mountain burying him _exploded_, obsidian shrapnel flying in every direction and forcing Byakuren to shield her face. When she lowered her arms, she saw the gunslinger back on his feet and held aloft by his two wings in the sky, magic coursing through him for his final assault – his Last Word.

**_"Last Word!"_** Darius roared as the sky behind him blazed with a furious black and white, the yin-yang exploding into existence. **_"Legendary Youkai's Fallen Paradise!"_**

Far below them, purple lines raced across Gensokyo, in the same pattern used to raise it into the sky. With a colossal rumbling, the land of illusion began to fall, descending to the earth once more. Behind him, his fortress began to crumble away, no longer supported by the magic that kept it afloat, but Darius could care less. Raising his arms above his head, a massive orb of black and white magic formed, one that he brutally tossed at Byakuren, too large to escape from in time. Instead, the magician was forced to produce a barrier and hope it held as it brought her to the earth with it.

It faded away, but Byakuren no longer had the magic reserves needed to keep herself airborne. Instead, she fell, interestingly, at the same pace as Gensokyo below her. Wings flapping once, Darius shot down after her, sword blazing into existence and then doubling – no, _tripling_ in size. Swinging the sword out behind him, he brought it around in a swirling arc of destruction.

Byakuren used a burst of magic to throw herself out of the way as he shot past, slamming into Gensokyo far below them. Getting out of the new crater he'd formed, Darius shook it off and leapt back up. For some reason, Byakuren was reminded irresistibly of what Sanae had said about her fight with the native god, Suwako. A final duel as they fell to earth…

Byakuren grabbed her vajra, the golden blade forming as she brought it down to meet Darius' uppercut strike. The two forces met briefly before Darius swung back and let loose again, a blast of energy following him. The two exchanged blows so rapidly, it was almost impossible to see. Bringing around the sword one last time, Darius slammed the blade against Byakuren's gut, opening a deep wound, but she ignored it. Fire burning in her eyes, caught up in the rush of the moment, she used one final blast of energy to shoot herself down to the gunslinger at terminal velocity, sword thrusting forward for the killing blow. Darius met her final attack with a wild laugh on his lips, two incredible forces meeting for the last time there.

The very sky itself ignited in that instant, the explosion that followed drowning out even the sun itself as it blazed.

**– TOUHOU –**

Gensokyo rumbled, meeting once more with the earth with an earthquake that would have made Tenshi shed a tear of joy. Trees fell, the Hakurei shrine crumpled like matchwood once again, but nothing compared to the blazing glory in the sky, a marvelous fireball of gold, black, and white that attracted all eyes to it.

Yukari smiled from within her gap, cradling the fruits of Darius' plan in her hands. It _had_ gone excellently – no, magnificently. It really was a breathtaking battle, not one even she could have hoped to have orchestrated. No, that honour belonged to the ones who had partaken in the battle.

Such a cute couple.

**– TOUHOU –**

"How… did you… even gain such power?"

Darius spat a glob of blood to the side, something he probably wanted to keep inside of him. "Part of… a plan." He coughed, wiping away the blood from his mouth after and feeling the horrible burns and cuts across his front. Reaching under his shirt, he grabbed the hidden necklace and tore it off, throwing it to the ground. Tied to it was a small crystal, glowing faintly. "Three-way… power transferal. That was… Yukari and Tenshi… they were fighting you too. Good job, Byakuren…"

"That explains a lot." Byakuren sighed as she collapsed against a tree. "But you're still in for it… when I recover."

"Good to hear," quipped the gunslinger. A brief chuckle passed between the both of them, before they both heard the same familiar giggle. They shared a glance and rolled their eyes, speaking at the same time. "Yukari."

But to their surprise, the gap youkai was clapping. "Congratulations, the two of you. That was an incredible fight you had."

"You didn't come just to praise us, did you?" Darius thumped his head lightly on the rocks behind him, still seated comfortably in his crash-landing crater.

"Nope~" Yukari giggled. "I also wanted to tell the two of you that–"

**[Karin's Theme: CYTOKINE - Night Falls ~ Evening Star]**

She froze, the smile on her face vanishing. She tried to open her mouth, but instead of words, only a horrible, rasping noise came out, black blood suddenly pouring from her mouth. Stunned, Byakuren and Darius looked closer and realized what had happened.

A silver dagger, coated in black blood, protruded from the front of Yukari's dress.

The blade withdrew, Yukari falling to her knees. Her hands scrabbled weakly at her own chest, that same terrible rasp in her throat as she collapsed.

**"Oh, dear. Such a mess."** Karin ran a finger along the blade of her dagger idly, feeling the youkai's slick blood on her hands.

"K-K-Karin?" Darius reached for his revolver – and screamed in pain as the gun burned red hot.

**"If we were you, we'd just stay silent and listen."** Karin picked up Yukari's fan, turning it over in her hands. With a mocking sneer, it burst into black flame, crumbling away to dust, and even that vanished. **"Would you like us to explain? Of course you do."** She picked up the unconscious gap youkai and tossed her carelessly into a stitched gap. **"Haven't you ever wondered? About Karin, about Yukari, about Maribel? We're the same person, idiot."**

"You need to stop it with the 'we', idiot," Darius spat back.

**"Ooh, we wouldn't be so toxic if we were you,"** murmured Karin as she ran a finger along Darius' cheek, reaching his chin and tilting his head up slightly. **"Besides, why shouldn't we say 'we'? That's who we are. You've heard your precious little living weapon's explanation on who Yukari is. I simply followed the same path – but gained so much more power."**

She raised a hand, watching it crackle with violet energy. **"Yukari's power is dependent on multiple factors. The most important are her age (ironically) and the number of youkai she has consumed. Yes, we said consumed,"** she added at the look on Byakuren's face. **"Didn't you know? Yukari isn't just one youkai, she's thousands of youkai, condensed into a single form. However, that puny Alexa thought her border manipulation was made by forcing the universe to bend to her will. How pathetic! As if someone as insignificant as Yukari could achieve the power of God."**

"Well then, what are you?" Darius hissed.

Karin smiled, leaning in slightly – before backing away and kicking him square in the face, enjoying the sound of his nose breaking. **"We're the ****_real_**** Yukari. Her border manipulation is miserable little pile of lies. What looks to be the border of hot and cold, for instance, is simply manipulation of fire and ice. She retained her powers from her past, but her powers do not contradict each other – when used at the same time, they simply cancel each other out. How Alexa came to such a ludicrous conclusion, we have no idea. We, on the other hand, have ****_true_**** border manipulation. The universe itself bends to our will. Existence bends to our will. I am unrestrained. ****_I am a god."_**

"Horseshit," laughed Darius, ignoring the blood pouring down his face. Suddenly, his body contorted as his face became a mask of agony, and he howled in pain.

Karin's face was alight with sadistic pleasure. **"A simple taste of what I can do; the borders of pain. We can make you suffer for eternity, far worse than anything that pathetic ex-shinigami could unleash. I achieved this power by working, by stopping time and poring over every last fragment of knowledge of the borders. Unlike that stupid, lazy so-called 'gap youkai'. And as for you, little Dari-chan…"** She waved her hand, and he relaxed, still twitching from the sudden torture. **"You interest me. We want to play a little game with you, see how far you go. We want to test you, we want to see what it takes to break you."** She licked her lips. **"In every sense of the word. But truly, you are quite interesting, so I guess we can't tear you apart – yet. Be grateful."**

"And why should I do that?" Darius smirked, and was cut off as another wave of her hand sent him reeling with pain.

**"We don't want to seem like a one-trick pony, but this instant torture is just so convenient."** She waved her hand again, and he eased up again. **"Now keep your mouth shut or we will literally seal it shut for you."**

That made him shut up.

She nodded in satisfaction. **"Much better. Now, we'll bet you're wondering how we know so much from you. Haven't you wondered what happened to Alexa? Well, the answer is simple; I killed her."**

"You–"

**"Calm yourself, ****_Loyhrs._**** She's a representation of your mind, and another's… but we'll leave you to discover that another time. The point is that unless you die, she doesn't die – not permanently, at least. And honestly, it is a serious pain in the ass to try and kill you. Mostly because of what you are."**

"And what's that mean?" The wording was, in fact, very strange.

**"You don't really think you're a human who just ****_happened_**** to gain access to one of the most powerful abilities in the history of forever, do you?"** The silence was an answer enough. Karin roared with laughter. **"Oh, you brainless retard! One does not simply walk into Gensokyo and gain magical powers! Our powers have been dormant our whole lives, but Gensokyo's ambient magic ****_awakened_**** them, not gave us them! And besides, neither of us is even properly human!"**

"What are you going on about?" Byakuren started forward, but stopped as Karin raised her hand.

**"One step closer and we wipe you from existence. To answer your question, I'm Yukari from another timeline, though why this universe hasn't imploded from the time paradox yet is beyond me. Maybe I'm collapsing alternate universes just by being here. Who cares? Anyways, our point is that Darius here was never human in the first place. He just… was. Popped into existence like a few other youkai, we don't know the details. However, we ****_do_**** know that when a new youkai is born like that, false memories form around them, forcing humans to think of the new youkai as their own children as raise them as such. Mother Nature can be a real asshat sometimes."** She laughed unpleasantly. **"Now obviously, you're just a baby shpee – er, I meant a baby youkai. You're nowhere close to what you can be, though we doubt you'll become such in time."**

"In time for what?" Darius growled.

**"Nothing that concerns you – for now, at least. Now, ingesting the Hourai Elixir, diluted though it was, has simply amplified you, it seems. After all, youkai already don't age normally. One way or another, it has only exacerbated your powers, given you a little nudge in the right direction. You should thank the moon doctor later."** She raised her head to the air and turned, as if something else had caught her interest. She sighed. **"Well, it seems I've overstayed my welcome. We suppose your powers aren't that critical to our plans, so we won't gut you. We'll be taking my leave now, if you don't mind."**

"What – no!" Byakuren started forward. "Get back here!"

Karin simply laughed as she jumped back, stitched gap forming behind her and disappearing the instant she passed through. **"Farewell…"**

**– TOUHOU –**

**Geez, I just love throwing around the plot twists, and making things darker than they should be. I tried to keep Karin in the Affably Evil section; blatantly evil and sinister, but still somewhat amiable. Think Yuuka.**

**Hopefully, it hasn't become too confusing to follow. Please R&R.**


	28. A Martyr for All the World

**Proper Chapter Title: Fires of Remembrance ~ Thrown to the Masses, A Martyr for All the World**

**Alright, another chapter. This time, we'll be looking at the aftermath of our strange little incident.**

**Flashback is written in italics.**

**By the way, I feel like crap after writing the flashback scene. Man, I wrote it and I think I just shot myself with a bullet made of feels. It was my first time writing something that emotional, so please, ****_please_**** tell me what you thought of it. I need to know if I did well or poorly, and if there's any way I could improve if it's the latter.**

**Also, this chapter marks Boundless World of Danmaku's ascension to the 100 000 word fanfic section. Yay, me.**

**Anyways, enjoy...**

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius crumpled, feeling the small trail of blood at his mouth ruefully. "Dammit all."

Byakuren shot the worried look at where Karin's stitched gap had appeared. "That girl…"

"She's gonna be worse than Yukari, for sure." The gunslinger tried to get up, but was pushed back down by the magician.

"Stay where you are," she ordered. "I'll find Eirin-san, you don't move an _inch_."

Darius sighed, letting his weight back onto the rocks under him. He noticed the little magic pendant Yukari had scrounged up had stopped glowing – it seemed Karin was aware enough that she cut the power link. "Alright."

Byakuren started to move, but stopped as a thought came to her. "Wait a second. Where did everyone at the temple go?"

She turned to the tired sharpshooter, who simply shook his head. "Don't kill me, but Yukari stole them away with her gaps. And with Karin assuming Yukari's place…" He didn't need to finish the thought. To their surprise, however, a stitched gap appeared, several unconscious figures tumbling out of it onto the floor. Before it sealed itself up, a single tiny note fluttered out and landed atop the pile of bodies. Byakuren plucked it off the small mountain and read it aloud.

_Byakuren and Darius,_

_I have no need for hostages. Did you really think I'd sink that low? Actually, don't answer that._

_Karin_

_PS: Byakuren, you're not out of this game. The Crown Prince awaits you. Go to the Dream Mausoleum this week._

Just then, they heard the rustling of bushes nearby. Both of them stopped to listen…

"Come _on!_ The castle already fell from the sky! At this rate, the incident's gonna be solved without us!"

"No, Renko, wait – ah!"

Sure enough, Maribel tumbled into the small clearing, followed closely by Renko. It seemed the girl had tripped and dragged her friend down with her. Dusting herself off, Maribel waved to the two of them. "Hey! Did you happen to see what happened to the big black castle in the sky? Floated around on a storm cloud, looked real scary?"

"You're late." Darius laid a hand on his revolver edgily. "I started the incident, and Byakuren came along and beat me. The incident's already over."

"What? Noooo~" Maribel toppled, rolling on the ground. "Did you hear that, Renko? The incident happened without us! What will Karin-sensei say!?"

Byakuren and Darius glanced at each other, a mutual agreement. _Not a word of what happened to Karin to anyone._

"H-have you two seen Karin-sensei anywhere?" Maribel sniffled as she got up.

"Um, she had… she had something to discuss with Yukari!" Darius quickly lied. "I don't think they'll be back for a while."

Maribel nodded. "Alright. Thanks, you two…"

As Renko led her away, Darius thought to himself. Maribel was just like Yukari and Karin. Was it possible she…? Hopefully not. He idly murmured, "Where'd Reimu go, anyways?"

_"Darrrrrrriiiiiussssss…!"_

A crushing grip landed on top of his skull and spun him around, bringing him face to face with a beat-up and exceptionally angry miko. _"Where is Yukari?"_

"Um… missing?"

Reimu's eyes tightened as she reached into her pocket. Darius didn't even need to know what was on it – it _had_ to be Fantasy Heaven. "Alright, alright! Karin somehow became all-powerful and stole Yukari into her own version of the gap world!"

"… You are going to die on so many levels," growled the miko.

"Wait, don't shoot the messenger! Um, Byakuren? A little help here?" Turning his head, Darius saw the monk slowly backing away. "Maribel? Renko? Someone? _Anyone!? GAAAAAAAA–"_

**– TOUHOU –**

"And that's pretty much what happened."

"You're kidding me."

"I wish I was."

Shou facepalmed, still reading her copy of the Bunbunmaru through her fingers. "Dammit, Darius-san."

Once again, it was morning at the Myouren Temple – roughly a week or so after the bizarre incident Yukari had forced. By Reimu's request (and by 'request' we mean borderline death threat), Aya, who had stopped by after the incident, had provided a cover-up story, saying Yukari had been forced to reenter her gap world and wouldn't leave until further notice to repair the damages left by the incident. The human village was given a separate paper explaining that Karin had accompanied her to assist, and would also be missing until further notice.

True to her iconic title, Aya had moved _fast_ on that one.

Darius shrugged at the tiger youkai's accusing glare. "Don't look at me. Sukima made me do it."

At the very least, life had (mostly) returned to normal afterwards. True, there was the occasional wrecked building that needed rebuilding or a couple old trees that needed clearing (Remilia was not amused by the tree that had squished the southern wing of her mansion), but it wasn't too significant. It was really rather shocking, that such a potentially devastating incident had such little required cleanup afterwards. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that _Yukari_ had perpetrated it.

Who knew?

"You also realize you're needed at the Dream Mausoleum later with Byakuren-sama?" Shou casually threw out. "I think she said something about, oh, how did she put it? 'Miko-san was interested in meeting with an embodiment of the same concept she dedicated her life to.'"

"Wow, that makes me sound a lot higher than I am." Darius gathered the crumbs on his little section of the table and threw it out.

"That's what I thought, too." Shou smirked.

"Don't even start." Darius shut her down before she could get rolling. As he walked through the doorway, he also called out. "You pull that bucket of water back up or I hold you under the waterfall for an hour, Kogasa!"

"_NO!"_ The karakasa stomped her foot in frustration as she poured the bucket of iced water back into the sink. "How do you _always_ catch me nowadays!?"

"Sorcery," shrugged the gunslinger as he left. Behind him, Kogasa grinned as she lifted the bucket, half the water still in it, and quickly poured it on him, drenching him through and through with a freezing deluge. "Oh, what – Kogasa, I am going to – achoo! – _kill_ you!" Drawing his revolver, he began to chase the offending umbrella youkai up and down the temple, his meeting suddenly forgotten.

"You're cleaning up the water!" Shou hollered after him. Shaking her head, she muttered a curse under her breath and went back to her breakfast.

A bullet brushed by her and slammed into the wall as Kogasa vaulted over the table and kept running. "Wah~ Stop! I'm sorry! Just stop chasing me!"

Following her lead, Darius jumped onto a chair, and from there over the table after her. "I've probably got a cold because of you!" He sneezed, tripped, and hit the floor rolling in a cloud of dust.

"Gotcha~" Kogasa stuck her tongue out at him as he slowly realized that the karakasa had set up a trip wire. "See you around, Darius!"

"Damn you, Kogasa!"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Toyosatomimi." Byakuren walked up to the Crown Prince, a flat, neutral expression on her face.

"Hijiri." Toyosatomimi no Miko responded in kind, an identical expression. Her shaku hung loosely from her hand, the other on the hilt of her sword. "It's been a while."

"It has," agreed the monk. She stepped forward, but stopped as she saw the saint's grip on her sword tighten. Raising her hands, she said, "I did not come to fight you."

"Then what are you here for?" Miko challenged. "How did you know I'd be returning to the Dream Mausoleum today?"

"This letter. From… a friend." Byakuren brought out the small note. Miko took it and read it under her breath, her eyebrows slowly going higher and higher with each word. "Your thoughts?"

"She clearly intends to bring the fight to you," muttered the Crown Prince. "Could you clarify who this 'Karin' is?"

"Karin Muyoka." Byakuren took a deep breath as she began to recite. "Age twenty one. She's an outsider, resembles the gap youkai. Have you heard of her?"

Miko narrowed her eyes as she turned away, watching the stars drift by around them. "… I know her ability is gravity manipulation, or so I'm told. You know I spent the past months meditating."

"On what?"

"You felt the storm coming, didn't you?" Miko stared into the cosmos around them. "It's almost time to return to your place of sealing, I believe."

Byakuren narrowed her eyes.

Miko didn't even need to see the gesture, and laughed nonetheless. "No, I don't plan on having you locked up for another millennium. I suppose I do need to thank you for landing the Palanquin here, but what I meant is that you might need to go back to Makai." She sighed. "But that's not important. Continue."

"Her power isn't gravity manipulation."

Miko turned. "Excuse me?"

Byakuren smiled slightly. "You heard me. Her powers are actually border manipulation, just like the gap youkai. Recently, she became properly self-aware and abducted Yukari, turning herself into a combined amalgamation of youkai in the process. It's likely her 'gravity' powers were simply subconscious modification of the borders of gravity."

"Plausible," murmured Miko. "Anything she said of note?"

"She was… interested in playing a game with Darius."

"Darius… the yin-yang youkai?"

"Or so Karin said. Actually…" Byakuren turned. "I think he should be coming in any second now."

Sure enough, the air wavered, a single plain door appearing, seemingly floating in space. It opened, allowing in the black-clad gunslinger they spoke of. "Byakuren, I – _gah!"_ He stepped out into the open space and promptly began to float away without a floor to hold him up – or gravity to properly affect him. "Um, what."

"_This_ is who you were talking about?" Miko glanced at Byakuren, who simply shrugged and nodded. "Did he figure out flight?"

"It seems to be something he can't quite do, for whatever reason. He's capable of it during spell card duels, but otherwise, no."

"I'll be honest, I expected a little more… but it's not like I could do anything about it." Floating past the gunslinger, Miko opened the door and poked her head into it. "Futo? I'd like you to remove the space motif, if you don't mind. Our visitor can't fly."

A panicked yelp, and several clanging sounds, followed by a hastily restrained curse. Within seconds, a small metal disk was thrown into the room, which Miko snatched out of the air before it could float away. "Thank you, Futo."

A flash of light, and the room changed from an endless stretch of outer space to a strange, darkened room that vaguely resembled the bottom of a very large well. The door was back, and thankfully, there was in fact a floor. There was a ceiling, yes, but it was high above them. _Very_ high above them. As in, cram-a-skyscraper-in-the-room-and-you'd-have-room- to-spare-high. There seemed to be soft velvet flooring, leading up to a small dais with an ornate coffin – one that Miko now leaned on.

Darius plummeted to the floor, rubbing his head and muttering profanities under his breath. Then he remembered he wasn't alone in the room. He shot up and rapidly dusted himself off. "Sorry, Byakuren!"

She just shook her head and sighed. "It's fine. Now, I want you to meet Toyosatomimi no Miko, better known as Crown Prince Shoutoku."

"Prince?" Darius raised an eyebrow.

"My gender was lost in translation," explained Miko. "So, you control balance?"

Darius thought on it. "Theoretically, Miko-sama, but I'm not exactly capable of throwing around the yin-yang and breaking the universe in half."

"Naturally." Miko chuckled. "But please, we can keep it casual." She stared at him a little more intently, giving him the strange feeling that she was digging into his soul, picking out everything of interest. "Your desires are… interesting, to say the least."

"I'm sorry, my _what?_"

"My power is to hear ten people talking at once." She shook her head. "It sounds so useless, I know, but I learned to use it to hear a person's ten desires."

"Is that why you wear those…?" Darius gestured around his ears.

"Well, yes. Otherwise, I'd hear everyone, everywhere, and it would simply be head-splitting." Turning back to Byakuren, she continued. "Would you like to bring him up to speed?"

Byakuren nodded. "We were just talking about Karin, Darius. What she might be planning next. Miko-san thinks that she'll force us to move, mostly because she said that she wants to play a game with us."

"Pieces on a chess board," muttered Miko. "Darius-san, we were saying that we should head to Makai. I believe something there can help us."

"_We?"_ Byakuren glanced at the Crown Prince. "You'll be joining us?"

"Well, why should I not?" The glimmer in Miko's eyes was sending out a non-verbal challenge.

Byakuren narrowed her eyes, a single hand sliding into her pocket where her scroll remained silent. Darius could feel the tension between them.

But just as soon as it had appeared, it had disappeared. Byakuren's friendly smile was back on her face, as if the previous moment had never happened. "No reason, of course. I just wanted to know why you might be interested in coming along."

"Well, how could I not?" Miko smiled. "Makai is a wellspring of untouched magic. And there is an artifact I've been hunting for quite a while now that I have been told is currently in Pandaemonium." She caught Darius' look. "It's where the demon goddess Shinki is said to reside."

Byakuren pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Miko-san, one does not simply walk into Pandaemonium. Its gates are guarded by more than just demon fairies." The Crown Prince raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing. "There are monsters that do not sleep in that land, and Shinki is always watching over it. Even Makai is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air in that land is a life-draining toxic fume! There's no way."

"How do you know so much about Makai?" Darius looked at her.

Byakuren sighed again. "Darius, I was sealed there for over a millennium, thankfully in one of the nicer areas, Hokkai. I have been there multiple times to visit Shinki. While we are friends, the others who live in Makai aren't nearly as friendly."

"You go to Makai on a regular basis?" Even Miko was surprised. "I was told Reimu-san sealed the path to Makai years ago, long before you were unsealed."

"Shinki came to visit me many times in Hokkai," explained the monk. "She taught me many things. Miko, can I have your word that you do not spread a word of this to anyone?"

Miko furrowed her brow. "You know, letting this information out would crush your reputation…" Byakuren and Darius exchanged a worried glance. "But yes. I will not tell anyone outside this room. However… Byakuren Hijiri, sister figure to the demon goddess of Makai? That certainly isn't quite the history you'd expect for such a person."

"Why wouldn't you want people knowing?" Darius asked the magician.

"Darius, think about it for a moment." Byakuren's tone was deadly serious. "The time I sealed myself in Makai was simply because they found out I had become a youkai, in spite of several years' worth of trying to mend the rift between humans and youkai. Can you possibly imagine the uprising if they were told I had used my time locked away to befriend a monster like Shinki? I wouldn't be surprised if Reimu herself came for me."

Darius closed his eyes and nodded. Turning back to Miko, he spoke. "And yet, how would you have planned to enter Makai if you didn't know this when you first suggested it?"

"Every girl has her secrets," Miko said cryptically. "If you must know, I would have simply blown open the collapsed gate to Makai and walked in."

"T-that'd be a little obvious, wouldn't it?"

"I could sweep it under the rug with a few carefully worded explanations."

"That's just a kinder way of saying you'll lie."

Miko shrugged. "Yes, I suppose. However, what would Byakuren-san's method be for it, if Reimu never noticed? Byakuren-san?" The two of them turned and realized that the magician's eyes had glazed over as she shook silently on her knees, mouth quivering slightly. "… Byakuren?"

**– TOUHOU –**

**[Flashback: Secret Messenger ~ Signs of Paradox]**

_Byakuren's eyes snapped open as she heard the sound of people yelling at her gates. Getting up quickly, she snatched up her long black dress from the hanger by the door, battling with the many buttons and zippers on it as she ran. "Shou!"_

_"Byakuren-sama!" Shou turned to the leader of the Myouren Temple, her face grim and determined. "The crowds have gathered. She betrayed us all."_

_"Who–?"_

_The roars of the people outside grew louder. Lights danced back and forth behind the thin walls, a single female's voice ringing out loud and clear over even the horde she commanded. "Burn! Burn this temple to the ground! It was made by youkai hands, _for_ youkai hands! Will you allow this disgusting treason to humanity stand!?"_

_Byakuren's eyes went wide as she fell to her knees. "That's – no, it can't be…!"_

_"Byakuren-sama, collect yourself!" Shou grabbed the monk and pulled her back onto her feet, but was pushed away abruptly as she got up. "No, what are doing?"_

_The magician sighed, calming herself. Opening her eyes, she strode purposefully towards the doors. "Ichirin, Unzan, out of the way."_

_"Ane-san, you can't possibly be thinking of doing _that_, are you?" Ichirin had her hands out before her, commanding Unzan to hold the doors shut as the mob outside pounded against it._

_"It's either me, or all of you." Byakuren was dead-set on her decision. "And if I don't, this temple burns – with all of you still inside of it."_

_"There is no need for this!" And suddenly, Murasa was there, trying to keep Byakuren from fulfilling her plan and holding her back. "Byakuren-sama, don't!"_

_"I _must_!" Byakuren finally forced herself to throw off the ghost captain._

_Murasa fell to the ground, her eyes wide. "Byakuren-sama…"_

_Drawing an ordinary paper scroll, the monk held it out before her, its contents glowing with a golden light. "Ichirin, please move. I don't want to force you."_

_"Unzan, keep the doors shut," she whispered to the nyuudou. A quick nod was all the confirmation she needed. Tossing aside her iron rings, she half-heartedly raised her own fists, ready to fight. Her eyes glimmered with tears. "Byakuren-sama, please stay in here. We will keep you safe from them."_

_"You cannot!" Byakuren raised the scroll higher, the light blazing from it. "If I do not, we all burn, and it will all be for naught! _MOVE!_"_

_Terrified, Ichirin fell away, not willing to truly fight the beloved monk. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she watched the events unfold. Unzan, too, backed away from Byakuren as she strode purposefully past him. Hands glowing, she raised them and pushed outward, the doors swinging out and around with enough force to crack the walls as they slammed into them._

_Below her, the crowd fell silent as the one they were yelling for appeared on the balcony. Taking a deep breath, Byakuren shouted, her voice echoing across the grounds. "You wanted me? Well, here I am!"_

_Her eyes fell on the one who had started this disaster, her hair whipping about as she moved. The woman's mocking sneer was visible as she pointed at Byakuren. "There she is! What are you waiting for? Tear her apart!" She frowned as they shifted uneasily, second thoughts coming to them about harming this gentle soul. She ground her teeth and yelled again. "She is a _youkai_! She betrayed us all! You still think this temple is dedicated to 'harmony between humans and youkai'? How can you believe that!? The owner of it is a youkai! Trust none of their kind! _KILL HER!_"_

_With her thunderous words, she angered the mob, and gave them a target; a martyr for their fury. Byakuren tossed aside the scrolls she always kept on her, taking one step towards them, arms spread wide. Another step forward and the mob shifted again, not with doubt, but with anticipation, hatred clouding their minds. One more step…_

_Her eyes refused to waver from the one who had done this even once. She lifted her head, a shining red eye showing itself. "Good is disgusting," she whispered, her voice somehow carrying over the roars of the mob. It was as quiet as the sound of blowing leaves, but as forceful as an earthquake, as hating as a devil. "Suffer."_

_Byakuren's decision was resolute. Even if it fell right into the waiting arms of this horrid excuse of a human being, she would gladly make this same decision time and again in the name of those she held dear. She stepped over the railing of the balcony, watching the fires burn below her. She softly murmured, "I'm sorry, Myouren…"_

_Her foot left the railing, and she fell._

_"NO!" Shou swept through them like a youkai possessed, the legendary pagoda of the Vaisravana in her hands. A burst of light, and they backed away as the lasers rained down around them. Reaching up, she grabbed Byakuren and backed away, gesturing for Murasa to seal the doors behind her. "Byakuren-sama, you are not throwing yourself to the masses like this!"_

_In her arms, the monk fought to escape wildly. "I must! You know what will happen if I do not!"_

_"You are going to escape, Byakuren-sama, even if we must give our lives for you to do it!" Shou ran into the main hall of the Myouren Temple._

_"Burn it," shrieked the voice outside. "Burn this abominable blasphemy to the ground!"_

_The crowd answered her in kind, and the flames leapt into being around them, licking at the walls and hungrily feasting upon the temple – Shou and the others still inside it._

_Byakuren weakly beat a fist against Shou's chest. "Why?"_

_"Because you are the one whose life is worth saving!" Shou ran up the many flights of stairs, fire at her feet, the starry night sky above them, though there were no stars to be seen any longer – only smoke._

_"If you do this, they will never accept our teachings!" Byakuren protested as Shou rammed her shoulder into the last door, breaking it down and sprinting onto the rooftop. "There is no more need for my life, but_ yours_ is not finished yet! Do not lay down your own life for mine!"_

_"I am sorry, but I cannot obey you this time." Shou dropped Byakuren on the ground – and immediately pounced again as she made for the edge of the roof. "I said NO, Byakuren-sama!" Wrestling with the one she had looked up to for so long, she called out. "MURASA!"_

_"I'm here, I'm here!" The ghost captain trampled carelessly over the ruined door frame, ignoring the flames that were biting at her feet from below. "What is it?"_

_"Keep Byakuren-sama from moving! I need to summon Nue." Shou jumped back as Murasa leapt forward, the two quickly swapping places. Drawing the small metal UFO from her pocket, she held it up to the night sky and watched it as it lit up with a brilliant flash of multicoloured light. "Nue, get over here!"_

_As the light faded, Nue appeared, kicking the red UFO she'd been riding over the edge of the roof. She took one look at Byakuren and Murasa duking it out and instantly understood. "Take her to the underground?"_

_Shou nodded grimly. "It won't be the safest place, but it's all we can do."_

_"Get… OFF!" A burst of light, and Murasa was cannoned off of Byakuren, landing on the floor in an untidy heap. Byakuren rose, reaching into her pocket and drew a blood red crystal from it, a ruby the size of her fist. "If you won't let me pacify the crowds in the best way possible, I will simply take the next possible option."_

_"There she is!" The woman on the ground pointed to the roof as Byakuren appeared over the edge of it – but raised an eyebrow, her smile fading as she watched the monk hold the magic artifact up to the sky._

"Demon Goddess of Makai,"_ she chanted._ "I implore thee; appear before us in our time of need. I shalst hold thou to thine promise. Save these blinded men from their own destruction."_ The ruby glowed in her hands and shattered, hundreds of tiny pieces flying into the sky and forming a massive ring before the magician. The ring exploded with energy, flames dancing along it as it opened into a hellish wasteland, a shining castle barely visible far in the distance. But what caught everyone's attention was the white-haired, six-winged demon that now stood amongst them._

_"T-t-t-that's Shinki!" One of the men in the crowd screamed in abject terror. The crowd began to back away as Shinki opened her eyes, the tiny gesture staggering many of the people in the crowd._

_In her regal, booming voice, she uttered, "Hijiri. Why have you summoned me?"_

_"This temple is burning," explained Byakuren, not even flinching as a thrown torch landed right next to her, her full attention on the demon goddess. "If a sacrifice is not given, all present shall suffer that most terrible fate."_

_Shinki's eyes narrowed. "And you wish to be their martyr."_

_"I must. In the name of my brother and everyone here, I must do this."_

_"When this ritual completes, you cannot return." Shinki raised an arm to the sky, crimson energy gathering around it._

_"I have no other choice." Byakuren turned to her followers, who had gathered behind her. It must have been a terrifying sight, she thought in the back of her mind. The one they had followed for so long, wreathed in fire, about to throw her life away before one of the most terrible youkai to ever exist. "The people of this time will never accept me. I must have your word that you will not awaken me until it is truly the right time."_

_Shou swallowed and nodded. "Y-yes, Byakuren-sama." Ichirin followed suit. So did Nazrin and Nue._

_Murasa, however, stepped forward. "Byakuren-sama, you can't possibly–"_

_"I will have no complaints from you! From any of you!" Byakuren's eyes burned with a furious passion they had never seen before. "Understand?"_

_Murasa backed away, tears in her eyes. "Yes, Byakuren-sama…"_

_"This land will fall," Byakuren said quietly. "When it is time, gather the pagoda of the Vaisravana, the broken fragments of the Tobikura, and the flying treasures. Bring them to the gate of Makai, but _only_ when humanity is ready. Any sooner or any later will only lead to disaster." Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Shinki. "I'm ready. Begin the ritual."_

_Immediately, Shinki clenched her hand, a barrier forming around the two of them. She began to chant in an ancient, arcane language, magic powering every word. A magic rune formed under Byakuren's feet as she closed her eyes. In began to race upwards, allowing everyone to watch as part of a ruby slammed shut around Byakuren's feet, rooting her to the ground. In time with the runes, the rubies grew and expanded, racing up Byakuren's body and encasing her in crystal. Byakuren whispered to herself, "This is what you would've wanted…_

_"Right, Myouren?"_

_A blast of red light, and it was over. Byakuren was unconscious, sealed away in the crystal. The barrier faded, but no one stepped forward – not even the horde below them, too stunned by the spectacle they had borne witness to. Shinki's eye fell on them, and she raised her hand once again, crackling with magic. "None may bear witness to the demon goddess of Makai."_

"Stop…"_ Shinki froze, turning back to the sealed monk._

_"Byakuren, you…"_

"I did this for them."_ Her voice seemed to echo from the bottom of a deep well._ "Don't lay a finger on any of them, Shinki."

_The goddess' eyes tightened. She stiffly muttered, "Understood." A snap of her fingers, and the ruby floated to her side. She stepped through the gateway to Makai, but stopped, one foot in it. Without turning, she spoke to the others. "Byakuren was willing to give her life for you. Even though you called her a monster. Even though you tried to burn down her temple. Even though you spat on everything she had worked on in the name of her brother… who had already died on the same path. I hope you're happy with yourselves, humans." As she stepped through the portal, it began to crumble away, preventing anyone from following. However, her voice echoed out one last time._

**"Remember that a youkai is no more evil than a human. You are only what you make of yourself; no more, no less."**

_The portal fell apart, leaving the temple grounds in complete silence. With a hiss of disgust, the woman who had started it all turned and left, waving her hand once. Reality bent around her, and she vanished, leaving nothing in her wake._

_"A-a-a trap," a man in the crowd muttered. "I-it's a trap… isn't it?"_

_Shaking their heads, the crowd dispersed without a word, left to contemplate the demon goddess' last words._

_Shou slowly lowered herself to the ground, shaking her head in despair. "Everything we'd worked towards is gone. No… no, we did nothing. Byakuren-sama… she was the one did it all. And in one night, her dreams were shattered."_

_A cold wind blew, extinguishing the last of the fires, and the last of their hopes._


	29. The Poker Player

**And here we are again! Today, we return to our scheduled lighthearted chapters, and a PM answer. He's still preferring to remain unknown, though.**

**PM: No, her name is definitely not Belmont. That'd be a beautiful plot twist, though. Her name is Sakuya "Izayoi" Helsing, as in legendary vampire hunter Van Helsing. Yeah, that one. Also, a lot of Darius' final boss spell cards cannot be used by him for now. Remember, he was using the power of both Yukari and Tenshi (though definitely not all of it) during that fight for an edge. ****_Some_**** of those spell cards remain usable. Which ones, however, will remain unknown for now... Though he can certainly still cast non-spell card Acerbatus. The spell card form is still much stronger, though. His Arcanum was intentionally left out of the final battle, by the way.**

**The mystery girl who wanted Byakuren dead, sadly, must also remain unknown. She will play a critical role in the future, so no spoiler for you!**

**Karin = Jigsaw? Yeah, that's kind of the feel I was going for. Hello, Darius. I want to play a game.**

**To both Mr PM and everyone else enjoying my story so far: Japanese honorifics. I'll be honest, I suck at them. BAD. Which is why I'd like help from you guys on a certain question: Would it be Kaguya-sama or Kaguya-hime for Eirin and the others at Eintei? And when you think of it, is she really still a princess at all, what with her banishing from the moon? Similarly, what about Miko? Is there any unique honorific necessary for her?**

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren slowly opened her eyes, blinking at the lights overhead. Where'd all that light come from? Last she remembered, she'd been in the Dream Mausoleum, and then –

Oh. Right. She got hit with a particularly nasty flashback of… _that time_.

As she got up in her bed, she wondered… where was she? As far as she could tell, it was her room back at the Myouren Temple. But then how did she even wind up here?

Just then, the door opened, admitting a tiger youkai and a youkai-in-sort-of-denial; Shou and Darius.

"For the last time," Shou hissed as she quietly closed the door behind them. Apparently, she wasn't aware that she was awake yet. "You may not ask her what happened!"

"Seriously, the suspense is all but killing me right now," Darius muttered. "You must know what happened if you're going to deny me from learning it."

"She's long had nightmares of a… particularly bad day." Shou turned away. "That's all I am willing to and allowed to tell you – Byakuren-sama! You're awake?"

The monk smiled tiredly. "Yes, I am. What happened to me?"

"Well," began the gunslinger as he sat on the edge of the monk's bed. "We were talking about how to get into Makai when you froze up and collapsed–"

"Show some tact!"

_Whap!_

"Ow! What was that one for?"

Shou rolled her eyes. "Boys. Anyway, he brought you up from the Dream Mausoleum and sent Nazrin to fetch me. You've been out for, oh, the afternoon, maybe? It's almost sunset."

Byakuren looked out her window. It was nearing sunset. It looked so much like the view she always had at – no, she decided. She'd best not go on that path, or it might happen again. Aloud, she said, "Where'd Miko-san go?"

"Said she had business to attend to." Darius made a face. "Couldn't even be bothered to even lend a hand carrying you up all those flights of stairs…"

"_You_ brought me all the way up from the Dream Mausoleum?"

"Only because _someone_," Darius glared at Shou, who was whistling innocently. "Couldn't be bothered to show up until after I got all the way here!"

Byakuren noted her black dress was at the doorway. Wait, putting on the black dress required at least unzipping part of her white dress underneath. Not any particularly _personal_ areas, but still. And didn't that mean…?

Darius followed her line of sight. His face reddened. "Um… well, you see… I, how do you put this… I didn't think it'd exactly be comfortable sleeping in that kind of dress, so I kind of… took it off for you…?"

Before the monk could speak, Shou took a particularly loud deep breath and closed her eyes. "Darius-san, you have ten seconds to run."

Right away, the gunslinger tore off down the halls. "Crap, crap, crap_, crap, crap, crap! It wasn't like that! Stop it with those lasers!_"

"You sick, twisted man!" Shou sprinted after him, spear out and ready to impale him. "Get back here where I can skewer you to a wall!"

Byakuren remained still and simply watched the door swinging on its hinges as the tiger youkai blew past. Her own face turned a little red as she slowly lay back down on the bed. Maybe it wasn't _that_ big a deal…

**– TOUHOU –**

**_You?_**** How in the world did you–**

**"Stuff it, you insufferable force of nature."** Karin glared at the gap she had most certainly not been looking for. For one thing, it wasn't her stitched gap; it was Yukari's ribbon-bound gap. For another, what the fuck was hiding in it? **"And get out here where I can see you!"**

**Force of nature?** The gap trembled as the being within it laughed. **Pathetic. But I have not come to fight.**

**"Well then, out with it. What do you want? My time is restricted as it is. This stupid maid's power barely works after I overclocked it the one time."** The new gap youkai was, admittedly, very busy. Her hands were all but buried in overlapping boundaries of countless colours. Yes, she had lied – Yukari's boundary control was perfectly legitimate. What _wasn't_ was how much control she had over them; something Karin had been trying endlessly to extract from her mind.

**Don't even bother. I never taught her the full potential of her powers.**

**"Of course you wouldn't. The world would end instantly if you let her start playing with the most abstract boundaries,"** muttered Karin.

**That's implying you know what you're doing with those boundaries.**

**"…"**

**Stop.**

Karin scowled, but her hands stopped moving anyways. **"What do you want? You're just–"**

**I am nature itself, not one of its forces like you lowly youkai, I assure you.**

**"Impossible,"** Karin spat. **"Are you telling me that you're ****_Gaia_****, legendary embodiment of the Earth itself and everything on it?"**

**You wouldn't believe me with either yes or no.**

Karin chose to remain silent.

**I wouldn't dig around in those borders if I were you. One wrong move and she implodes.**

Karin narrowed her eyes and moved her fingers more slowly. **"Dammit, you're right. How'd you know?"**

**… Personal experience. I ****_am_**** the one who taught Yakumo-san everything she knows about borders, you know.**

**"I'm assuming you're here for something besides needling me and trying to look cool. Spit it out, what do you want?"** Karin continued sifting through Yukari's memories. Damn, there really was nothing of worth…!

**They're coming, you know.**

Karin's hands froze. **"… What?"**

**Your former crush. His newest interest. The miko, too. All in all, the works in general. And believe me when I say they are not happy with you.**

**"They can't."** Karin was confident of that much, at least. **"There's literally no way for them to enter my dimension between worlds."**

**For now, there isn't.** The gap rippled as something within it shifted. A single vibrant green eye sparked to life in it. **But do you really think you can hold this kind of dimension up forever? Yukari was only capable of it with so many years of experience with managing dimensional magic. You, on the other hand, are going to be hard pressed in a week at the latest. And when you leave, you'll be forced out where you came in. Mark my words, Muyoka-san, they will be waiting for you.**

**"Then let them come."** Karin laughed coldly as she withdrew her hands. Raising them, red strings became visible, dancing in her fingertips – which twitched and convulsed as the threads of fate tied themselves tight around her fingers. **"What the…?"**

**Do not underestimate me. I have manipulation over ****_everything_**** natural in this world.** A single hand latched onto the edge of the gap, another green eye sparking to life. **If you plan to partake in your own game, you are going to play by your own rules. Ever heard the expression 'beat them at their own game'?**

**"…"** Karin wrestled her hands free and watched the threads fade away.

**However, I could give you a push in the right direction… for a price.**

**"And what would an omnipotent one like you want with someone like me?"**

Laughter from the gap. Karin couldn't tell if it was genuine or mocking. **You amuse me. However, as much as I wish I could, my powers still do not extend to the corners of the world. When Gensokyo was formed, your damnable original saw fit to backstab me and lock down my powers.**

**"And you're trusting me because…?"**

**I see your fate, Muyoka-san. I know exactly what is going to happen. I made a mistake with Yakumo-san. ****_I_**** underestimated ****_her_****; I will not make that mistake twice.**

**"Fine."** Karin turned away, sweeping out a hand and ripping open her dimension. Plucking a bloodshot eye from next to her, she gently rolled it into the rip and sealed it back up. **"And how am I to repay you – assuming you actually do something helpful?"**

More of that disturbing laughter. **Start with how you usurped Yakumo-san's position…**

**– TOUHOU –**

_Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Goukei fumbled for the cell phone he'd swiped off of Yukari several years back. "Dammit, who is it now?" Flipping open the phone, he raised it to his ear. "I didn't even think Verizon services Gensokyo. Who the hell is this?"

"Goukei."

The ex-shinigami nearly dropped the phone right there. "I-is that who I think it is?"

"Gee, let me think. Raspy voice, always wears a skull mask, black robes, scythe made from a human spine, tried to kill you more than once – yes, it's me! _Death!_"

Goukei raised an eyebrow. "You're on a hair trigger today. What happened?"

A heavy sigh crackled out of the phone. "Komachi-san happened. Seriously, can't you come back a little more often, for her? You were really the only thing motivating her – well, besides the threat of being roasted in Hell, but you get my point."

"And the one who exiled me was…?"

"Don't look at me! It was a unanimous decision I had _no _say in. And I know you're glaring at the phone, never mind the fact I'm partly in another dimension and thousands of miles away, so drop it."

The oni simply stared at the phone.

"And now you're staring, aren't you."

"Every time," he spluttered. "How do you do that _every damn time!?_"

"Sorcery. Now, I've got Shiki-sama here with me–"

_Beep… Beep… Beep…_

_Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"I know she's going to reach through the phone and whack me upside the head. She's done it before."

"Ve-ry funny, Goukei. You haven't seen the roaming charges on my bill, so I'd like to keep this short. Get serious."

Goukei sighed and leaned on the wall outside the underground pub – and easily stepped out of the way as a pot was hurled through the window next to him. Unstrapping his scythe, he muttered, "Can't even have a phone call in peace…"

On the banks of the Sanzu River, Eiki Shiki and the Grim Reaper stared at the phone in slight disbelief as the sounds of extreme violence reverberated out of the little bundle of technology. The Yama turned to him. "Every time?"

"Every time," he confirmed.

_"MY BLOOD! HE PUNCHED OUT ALL MY BLOOD!"_

_WHAM!_

_"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"_

Eiki raised an eyebrow. "You're _quite_ sure this happens _every time_."

"Yes." Death's tone was flat and carefully levelled.

"Ah…" Just then, an immensely satisfied Goukei came back to his phone. "Much better. They've all quieted down now, so we can finish our little conversation."

"You didn't kill all of them, did you?"

Death's concern was laughed off by the ex-shinigami. "What? Of course not! _Half_ of them. I killed _half_ of them."

"…" Death silently facepalmed. "See, this is one of the reasons you're not an official death god anymore."

"Now, what were we talking about?"

"Remember that strange lady who killed the gap youkai? Looked almost identical, wore a yellow dress/coat, purple blouse?"

"Hmm, yeah, I think so. What about her?"

"You're going to like this news."

_"… Kill her?"_

"Fully authorized," Eiki muttered into the phone. "Against my better judgment. Also, you need to know that – hey! _Hey!_" She looked at the much taller reaper, a pained expression on her face. "He hung up."

Death closed the phone and stowed it away in the folds of his robes. "Well, knowing him, he's probably already trying to figure out how to slice reality in half to get a crack at the girl, so no point in calling again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to see how much my phone bill has just siphoned off of our budget."

"Hold on," a new voice said. "Is this… is this _Goukei_ you were talking about?"

Death sighed and didn't even need to turn to know who it was. "_Yes_, Komachi-san, it was. He said he was busy (punching someone's lights out) and so couldn't talk to you, but he asked you to keep working hard. Else, he's not coming back for a visit this year."

"Eek!" A frenetic sound of whirling cloth, what sounded _suspiciously_ like a certain shinigami dropping her scythe in the Sanzu, and a boat ripping through the water. "Come on, come on, come on! We haven't got all day, you lazy souls!"

"That was black," murmured the Yama as they left.

"The ends justify the means. White." Death boarded his own small boat and gestured for Eiki to follow. "Besides, it wasn't that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?" Eiki gestured wildly in Komachi's direction, who had already passed them three times back and forth across the Sanzu River. "Look at her! She already works just enough to pressure me, and now I'll be up to my neck with dealing out judgment this week!"

"Don't let her hear you saying that," laughed the not-so-grim reaper.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Makai."

"Makai."

"You want me to unseal the gateway to Makai for you."

"Yup."

"Never mind the fact the air itself is poisonous and alone can kill you."

"Meh."

"Never mind the fact that it's crawling with bloodthirsty demons."

"Mm-hmm."

"Never mind the fact that it's worse than Australia in terms of things trying to kill you."

"Uh-huh."

"… You'll probably just smash open the gate on your own if I say no."

"Yeah."

Reimu slammed her head against the table. "… _I hate you so much right now._"

Darius simply sipped his tea. "I love you too, Reimu-san. Now, can we get going?"

"There. Are. _Preparations to be made!_" The miko vehemently hissed into his face. "I can't just Fantasy Heaven the gate to Makai and send you on your way–"

_Clink!_

Darius tossed several hundred yen into the shrine's donation box.

"Thank you for your donations to the Hakurei Shrine!" Reimu straightened in her seat and got up quickly. "If you'll follow me, we can begin setting up for the trip to the land of the demons! It's an _excellent_ place, filled with monsters who want to feast on your soul, nights that last for months, a cranky old demon goddess; you will simply _adore_ our visit! Plus, if we hurry, we might…"

The miko's voice faded away as she rushed off to the smaller building beside the shrine and began rifling through its contents. Darius sidled over to Byakuren and whispered, "Does she always get like this if you give her money?"

Byakuren giggled. "They say money can't buy happiness. Except you can certainly buy over Reimu-san, which is plenty enough happiness here, where most youkai will try to eat you and then be mercilessly destroyed by a greedy miko, which is close enough."

"That girl needs more motivation besides money and death threats." Miko calmly drank her tea beside them. "Though she does know how to make a mean brew."

"Just wondering, who else is coming?" Darius ran off the mental list of people who were usually involved – and people they'd want involved this time. "Obviously, we three are here. The others at the Myouren Temple couldn't come for one reason or another. Reimu was banned from ever entering Makai again, or so she says. Miko-san, you have someone coming to join us, right?"

"Her name is Mononobe no Futo," confirmed the Crown Prince. "We'll meet her at the gateway. However, her way of speaking is rather… archaic."

Darius raised an eyebrow at that, but went on anyways. "Marisa's a bust, since no one's seen her since the…_ Kourin Extraction_." Everyone shuddered. "Alice-san is coming, right? Yeah. Those conspiracy-makers on Youkai Mountain collapsed their shrine again, so they can't help. Oh man, we're going to be seriously short-handed on this one against what might as well be Yukari on steroids…"

"Actually, we'll be having one other joining us." Miko smirked slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"She's a menreiki. Born from a set of sixty-six masks. Shockingly powerful for such a young little youkai."

Byakuren narrowed her eyes. "You're talking about _her_, aren't you?"

Miko snickered. "Who else? You can come out… _Hata no Kokoro._"

The sliding door at the front of the shrine shifted, letting in a pink-haired girl with a blue blouse, orbited by a set of glowing masks. Currently, she was holding one up to her face – a classic bland happy/sad mask, one that was almost synonymous with theatre.

Miko smiled. "Funny, Kokoro."

The menreiki quietly pocketed the mask, her face partially hidden behind another mask, one that seemed to be frozen in laughter. Clearly a mask of humour. Her voice quiet and indifferent, she whispered. "How did you know I was here."

"I can sense desires, in a manner of speaking; and you want to come with us. Remember?" Miko gently hugged the girl. The mask of her face wavered as if seen through hot air, along with one of the glowing masks orbiting her. A simplistic happy mask now adorned her face, the mask of laughter having swapped places with the mask of happiness. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Darius watched the two of them and muttered to the monk next to him, "Who is she?"

"Another one who was the host of an incident," explained Byakuren as she watched the two of them. "In a funny sort of way, she's Miko-san's child. She crafted the masks that became Kokoro-san, giving them an interesting sort of parent-child relationship. She once lost her Mask of Hope (See it? The one that looks like Miko-san) and her control of emotions of both herself and others went wild. That was what we called the 'Hopeless Masquerade'."

"Now, she's a wanderer, in a way." Miko released the young youkai. "Travels from place to place; she once stayed at the human village. Surprisingly, they let her in, though that might've been her power at work. Even so, they've genuinely accepted her, as a person and, well, because she frequently performs theatre."

"No prizes for guessing why," laughed the monk.

"Who are you." Strangely, Kokoro's question wasn't exactly a question; it was simply flat and monotone, though with the slightest hint of emotion behind it. Her mask wavered again, becoming a guarded-looking mask. Likely one of distrust or doubt. "Are you the youkai outsider."

Darius shifted. "Still not used to being called a youkai, but yeah, that's me. Darius L-Loyhrs." He stuttered slightly on his surname, as usual. He extended a hand to her. "Nice to meet you, Kokoro-san."

She stared at him blankly for a moment – then reached out and took the offered hand, shaking it softly. "A likewise pleasure," she murmured. The mask shifted, but she reached up and grabbed it before it could change. With what seemed to be a fair amount of effort, she tugged it free of her face, revealing two clear blue eyes. Interestingly, even her eyes seemed liked masks; at first glance, they were dull and glazed over, but a closer look showed they were sharp, _very_ sharp. Both tranquil and menacing. "Mamizou-san said… I should learn to express myself without masks… so did Miko…" The corners of her mouth twitched upwards.

The light smile on the gunslinger's face wavered. "You can't… express yourself? Not without masks?"

"No. It's… who I am." The air seemed to thicken as the silence dragged on. Then again, in a way, words didn't have to be said.

Just then, Reimu burst through the back door of the shrine. "Alrighty, ladies and gentleman! Everything's set up, and we'll be on our way in–"

"We were just having a moment!" Byakuren exclaimed at the miko. "You came in at what was probably the worst time…"

Miko sighed and facepalmed. "You don't exactly need to be able to read the mood to tell when not to barge in, Reimu-san."

Kokoro faltered, her mask returning to her in a flash. She got up and walked to Reimu. And in one fluid move, raised her arm and slapped her, the red mask of anger appearing for an instant. Then, as the miko backed away cursing in pain, Kokoro sat back down with the others, the mask of happiness back on her face. "Better."

Miko couldn't stand it. She burst out laughing. So did Byakuren and Darius. Even Kokoro had a tiny giggle at herself.

Reimu held her bruised cheek as she watched them. "Um, guys, we have a portal to catch! Guys? Is anyone listening to me today!?"

Eventually, they calmed down and allowed the shrine maiden to show them to the sealed gate. It seemed to be a massive cave entrance jutting out of the ground at an angle. All around the circumference of the semicircle gate, thousands of sealing amulets glowed with power. Reimu laid a hand on it, the amulets glowing more brightly – and dimming. The amulets peeled away from the gate, everyone watching as it slowly ground open with an ear-splitting shriek of metal against metal, opening not deeper into the cave, but rather into a hellish wasteland. Everyone backed away as a blast of hot air roared out like it was fire from opening a furnace.

"Alright," she began seriously. "I can't go into Makai with you, or Shinki-san would skin me alive. As soon as you step through, it's up to you. But let me warn you; in Makai, you don't breathe air, you breathe poison. I'll wait for you and give you exactly two hours. If any one of you isn't out by then, I'm assuming you died a horrible death and I'm sealing the gate back up."

Darius raised his hand. "Why two hours?"

"Because unless you adapt really quickly or have some sort of power to counteract the toxins, you die in two hours." Reimu glared pointedly at him. "And Eirin-san's already tried making an antidote to the air in there. There are literally so many poisons it is literally _impossible_ to counteract them all. The only ones who have gone in there for a whole day and come out alive were Y-Yukari," she stumbled over the gap youkai's name. "Who just had straight-up gap hacks, Alice Margatroid because she's a native to it, the immortals (though they didn't like it), and that creepy poison doll."

"On top of that," Reimu added before anyone could speak. "This one's very important. You all know the spell card rules, right?"

A collective nod.

"Well, the spell card system is a Gensokyo-exclusive setup. As in, _Makai does not use it_."

A collective exchange of worried looks.

"Alright, so two hours to collect the artifact Miko-san's looking for and, if we can, figure out where Karin went, because she's definitely not in Gensokyo. Assuming she's in Makai, we also beat the crap out of her and drag her back with us. As in, the girl who literally backstabbed Yukari and stole her powers along with a bunch of other people's. Also, she's only pulling us around on a leash because stumbling around in her game amuses her. In a land where they are perfectly capable of killing us. All that, in only two hours." Darius took a deep breath. "Yeah, this is possible, this is possible…"

"You'd damn well believe it is," another voice said. A _male_ voice.

"Goukei-san, you're… here…" Darius turned and began to take several steps back, reaching into his pocket. "Rinnosuke!? What the fuck are you doing back in town!?"

"I thought that instead of simply ending with a bang, we start off with one too." Mannosuke reached behind him and brought out an unconscious figure.

Darius' eyes went wide. "Goukei-san?"

"That's right," laughed Mannosuke. He tossed aside the oni and cracked his knuckles. "Now, are we gonna pussyfoot around or are we gonna fight?"

**– TOUHOU –**

**OH DAYUM MANNOSUKE'S BACK IN IT**

**I am so sorry for this, everyone.**

**By the way, when I dug around, the amount of canon information on Makai is next to none, so I took a few liberties and upped it a little to make Makai a more dangerous place. And when I say it's worse than Australia... well.**

**For those of you confused by Death coming in out of nowhere, that Death is the same Death as the one in Heir to the Reaper, another sidefic to this one. Like the Noodle Incident Collection, it will be very slow in updating, because I'm investing most of my time in this one.**

**In other news, holy shit Kokoro is so moe I think I'm gonna die**


	30. The Wild Card

_**The endgame approaches. Brace yourself.**_

**To my reviewers! Otakuheaven123123... nice name. I just had to point that out.**

**By the way, you ought to check with a doctor before looking at too many of my updates. The moe-verload potential is too high! Well, no, it only happens occasionally, but still. Thanks for the review, too. As for MANnosuke, well. That's going to be interesting. Worry not, everything is laid out. The situation will fix itself eventually. I've been writing randomly as I receive inspiration, so blame Koishi. Actually, don't blame her. Blame Yukari.**

**BokusuKanon, I have in fact been on Danbooru. A little too much, though, but the hilarious things they post on it are just too good to stay away!**

**Anyways, introducing a few not-really new characters. Why do I say that? Well, read between the lines of this story very carefully and you'll probably figure it out. Go wild with guesses... going crazy with writing is what got me so far, anyways.**

**"Wildcard's" Theme: [Super Paper Mario] Dimentio, Charming Magician**

**Whoa! A completely non-Touhou theme... surprise~!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"So there you are… Cagnes."

_"I've told you over and over that I'm not Cagnes. Not anymore."_

"Ha. As if. You are Cagnes, like it or not; from now, until the moment you die."

_"Real funny, Sariel. Look at me; I'm just dying at this point."_

"If you'd like, I could make it so you're _actually_ dying."

_"I'd like to see you try, 'O Mighty Angel of Death'."_

"… Just like old times?"

_"Exactly. Now, shall we begin?"_

"Let's."

_"Devour the Sun – Twilight Spark."_

**– TOUHOU –**

"Crap!" Darius leapt behind a tree for cover as his opponent tore free a chunk of earth and flung it at him. "You've been working, haven't you?"

"Like hell I've been!" Mannosuke laughed as he slammed a foot against the ground, the earth ripping apart before him and opening into an instant fissure across the ground.

The gunslinger leapt over the fissure as it crackled by below him, instead opting to level his revolver at Mannosuke. _"Acerbatus!"_

Mannosuke simply grinned as the electric miasma generated and fired. He raised one hand and opened it before himself, the palm glowing with red energy. _"Assimilate!"_

"What the…?" Reimu backed away as she watched the powerful curse slam home – and was _absorbed_, deforming and being sucked into his palm. With a roar of mad laughter, his hands crackled with electricity as he brought them out before him. A flash of light, and the smell of ozone filled the air, a lightning bolt barely contained in his grip.

"Oi, gunslinger! _Heads up!_"

_BOOM!_

Darius slowly peeked out as the tree he was hiding behind slowly fell in either direction, effortlessly cleaved in half and mercilessly burnt by his own redirected spell. He began to feel a cold sweat break out on his forehead. "T-that's new."

"That's right." The overly manly man stepped to the side as Byakuren came up behind him, dodging her vajra and clapping a hand down on the blade. "This is the power I spent those hidden months honing!" The blade began to splutter – and cut out entirely, the magic used to fuel it being absorbed. His hand glowing with a blazing power, he aimed his fist and sent Byakuren flying with a single twitch of his fist, barely even needing to move. "The power to redirect magic as I see fit!" He wrung out his still-smoking hand as he grinned. "How's _that_ for Bruce Lee's one-inch punch?"

Byakuren silently thanked her scroll for remembering to cast defensive spells first. If it hadn't, she'd likely be busy trying to push her spine back into her body. As it was, it had definitely been an extremely powerful assault. Stronger than it should have been. Something was wrong…!

And as she watched Darius' black-white blade rake harmlessly across his skin, she realized.

"Back away!" The magician shouted as she got back on her feet. "He can absorb any magic energy he comes into contact with!"

Darius actually stopped moving as he heard that. Even he understood the full implications of that. "You're telling me he stole your enhancement spells?"

"Exactly." Byakuren grabbed her scroll from behind her and began silently casting healing spells on herself. Might as well, considering any offense/defense spells she cast could simply be stolen by their newest opponent.

"Well then how do we beat him?" Reimu ducked a wild right hook and drove her gohei into his gut. "In case you didn't notice, literally everyone here has to use magic in one way or another! Also – _eep!_" She jumped a mile into the air as Mannosuke's hands… wandered. "Where do you think you're touching me!?"

He shrugged and raised a hand to deflect the homing amulets she threw. Too late, she realized exactly what she'd just thrown. A mad smile plastered across his face, Mannosuke tossed an orb of blue energy back at her – one that obsessively tracked her effortlessly as she floated about in the air. "Okay, seriously!? First Yukari, now this _thing_ feeling me up in the middle of a fight? What, do I look like some sort of perv magnet or something!?"

"Okay, so let me get this straight." Darius backed away as he watched Mannosuke slowly close in on him. "He absorbs all the danmaku we throw at him, steals any buffs we use on ourselves, _and_ he tries to grope every girl who gets too close?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Holy shit, author, what were you thinking when you wrote this!?"

**"Yukari's incapacitated, so I'll be taking her role for a moment."** Sure enough, Karin's head poked out from one of her stitched gaps. **"The fourth wall. Stop breaking it. Thanks!"**

And she was gone again.

"_Goddammit…_" Darius deflected Mannosuke's kick to the side, kindly ignoring the unhealthy cracking sound his wrist made at the effort. Pointing his revolver at the floor, he shot twice, two pits appearing in the floor and tripping up the manliest man. The gunslinger took this opportunity to get to his allies.

"_This_ is the thing you were talking about earlier?" Miko's eye was twitching. "I can see why you were so hesitant to speak of him."

Even Kokoro seemed to have a reaction, her current mask having a very disturbed expression and seemed to be retching a little. Definitely the mask of disgust. "How do we beat it."

"Yeah, somehow, I don't think we _can_ beat it." Darius shot Mannosuke in the face – and watched as it dissipated. Instead, Mannosuke seemed to be using the magic to heal himself. "I hate these impossible boss fights."

"I know what to do," rasped a voice on the floor next to him.

Darius turned. "Goukei-san?"

"Yeah." Tossing aside an empty bottle of scotch, he smiled a little, though the act seemed to pain him. "He has to be aware of the magic being used, or he can't control it. Plus, he can't take the _really_ arcane magic." He unslung his scythe and forced out the second blade. "Ya guys all go on ahead. Get in Makai, do what you need to, get out. I'll deal with Mr. Roid-Rage here."

"Aw, look!" Mannosuke laughed as he stomped up to the ex-shinigami, sizing him up. "He thinks he can take me in a fight!"

"Trust me, buddy, I don't _think_ I can take ya." Goukei tapped the butt of his scythe against the ground, hellfire spewing from the crack that formed. "I sure as shit _can_ take ya."

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?"

_WHAM!_

Goukei's smug expression barely changed as he brought around the Shinokama, stopping Mannosuke's sucker punch with the handle of it. "Actually, I think I will. Kiddo, I'm an oni and an ex-shinigami to boot. I've been around longer than you ever will. Now, let's _fucking do this!_"

Mannosuke grinned as he grabbed the blade of the scythe, ignoring the way it cut into his hands, the cursed blade drawing blood even through his stolen enchantments. "I don't care if I can't steal away your scythe's magic. I'll just take the _whole damn scythe!_" With a quick slashing movement, the scythe was sent skittering away across the ground. Not missing a beat, Goukei reared back and brought around his fist in a left hook strong enough to decapitate lesser enemies. The manly man responded in kind by grabbing him by the extended hand and slamming him into the side of the cave. "Not bad. I felt that. But let's really crank it up!" Slamming his hands together, he brought them apart, blue lightning arcing between them. _"Storm Surge – God of Lightning!"_

"You wanna play that way? LET'S PLAY THAT WAY!" Goukei met the assault head-on, ripping free his eyepatch. _"Agony Sign – Crumble to Dust!"_

"What are you doing?" Reimu hissed in Darius' ear as he watched the spectacle. "Get moving! _All of you!_"

The gunslinger started. She was right; Goukei was fighting to give them a distraction. "R-right. Sorry…"

Mannosuke slammed Goukei to the ground with an earth-splitting stomp. Looking up, he realized his quarry was escaping. _"NO!"_

He leapt – and was brought crashing back to earth, a searing pain wracking his body. Goukei got up, his Eye of Medusa glowing with a sinister neon light. "Yeah, let me think about that – how about no!?"

_SMASH!_

Goukei tossed aside the shattered wine bottle. "Shouldn't have wasted a perfectly good vintage. Oh, well."

"Damn," hissed Mannosuke as he plucked the glass shards out his hair. "Even for an oni, you got strength. Good on you!"

"Flattery gets ya nowhere." Goukei grabbed Mannosuke's fist as it flew, twisting it around and behind him, savagely breaking the wrist. The manly man simply reached up and snapped his shoulder clean out of its socket as payback. The two of them leapt away from each other.

"Oh, you are so asking for it now," they said in unison. Taking one step forward, Goukei's right hook was countered with an iconic roundhouse kick from Mannosuke. Spinning back around in the other direction, Mannosuke dropped low and swept out the oni's legs from underneath him. He leapt in for the kill–

"Haha – _no._"

The scythe ripped free of Mannosuke's back, his eyes widening. "Where the fuck did that come from…?"

Goukei tugged free the Shinokama and pushed Mannosuke off of him. "Don't fuck with me, pal."

Blood trickling from the gaping hole in his side, Mannosuke simply grinned as he laid a hand against the earth, a blue aura manifesting around him. "You really thought that was all there was to my power?"

"The fuck are ya talking about?"

The manly man simply chuckled, feeling magic pour into him. "We're in Gensokyo! _Gen-sok-yo!_ Land of illusion, land of _magic!_ We're surrounded by it!" The wound in his chest began to seal up rapidly, his youkai regeneration augmented by his power. "And to make it better, Makai is _right_ there next to us. When I fight, I am invincible."

"Everyone's got a weakness," Goukei snorted. "I just gotta find yours – or just beat you into so much of a bloody pulp ya can't do jack shit when I'm through with ya." The winds began to blow around them as the sky darkened. The earth behind Goukei split as hellfire exploded from its depths. Mannosuke's eyes widened as he felt an overwhelming power looming from within it. "Sorry, I don't usually involve her." Goukei's tone made it clear he was doing everything except apologizing. "But it's just _so_ nice for her to get out and stretch every once in a while…"

A flick of his hands, and a card appeared in the ex-shinigami's hands. Except it wasn't a spell card. Goukei held it up for Mannosuke to see. "I'd like you to meet…

"_Wildcard."_

**– TOUHOU –**

"Do you think Goukei-san's going to be fine fighting that thing?" Darius coughed heavily. Reimu was right – even though Byakuren was spreading the healing magic throughout, barely even a couple minutes in and he was already choking on the air anyways.

"Of course he will." For her part, Byakuren was faring much better than the others. It was probably due to having spent so long in Makai before. "The question is where did all of the others who were supposed to be coming go?"

"The gate is open," murmured Kokoro as she floated next to them. The mask of discomfort was at her side now. "They may follow us in."

"There's nothing we can do about it." Miko looked around edgily, waiting for another bundle of demons to spring out. Really, there were occasionally the strong demons, but more often than not, they were all pretty much evil fairies. Which actually wasn't that far of a stretch from how most fairies usually were…

Their bullet spreads were absolutely ludicrous, though.

"Hey, Byakuren." Darius stopped walking and pointed to a shining quartz castle in the distance. "That's Pandaemonium, right?"

"Yes, it is." Byakuren sighed as they approached. "However, I think we need to make a quick detour."

Darius followed her line of sight. "What are you talking abo – well. This is new."

Unlike the mostly flat and somewhat hilly terrain of Makai, this was different. Rather, it seemed something had exploded here, leaving behind a crater. A _massive_ crater, one that could have easily eaten up a football field and had room to spare on its glassy surface. And if that wasn't bad enough…

"It's fresh." Miko pointed at the crater's edge. Indeed, it was still steaming, several red-hot pieces strewn about. "And whatever made it must still be around. Byakuren-san, we are _not_ going in there. We need to turn around."

The monk in question didn't respond, oddly. Instead, she knelt at the edge of the crater, picking up one of the glassy chunks of rock. Whatever had landed here had sparked an explosion so violent, the crater it left behind had at some point become hot enough to liquefy the sand and rock. And yet, as she turned the rock between her fingers, she couldn't shake off an odd feeling. "Why does this power feel so similar? If I didn't know better, it's just like–"

_Crunch. Crunch._

The four of them turned and stared into the distance at the sound of gravel crumbling underfoot, the sound easily carrying across the distance. There seemed to be someone entering the crater on the opposite side of the crater. The person was dressed in a regal dark purple robe that seemed to float just an inch off the ground, various bands of yellow running across it horizontally. There was also a hood on it, and one that was used well to mask the stranger's face in shadow. The being's arms were crossed behind his back as it easily descended the steep edge of the crater like it was nothing. Almost a perfectly flat drop on the first portion, and it stepped down it like a stairway without a hitch.

"Who is that?" Darius strained to see who it was.

"Are you mad?" Miko pulled back the gunslinger and began backing away. "That _thing_ has magic that could probably rival the goddesses on Youkai Mountain!" She turned to the others. "We're leaving. Now." Her tone allowed no objections.

Kokoro simply nodded and began to leave, though the mask on her face was one of confusion. Byakuren followed grudgingly, but shot another look back at the mysterious person in the crater. It seemed to be rifling through the half-melted rocks at the bottom of the crater, never the mind the fact it should have taken it at _least_ ten minutes to walk all the way to the center.

Then it looked up, a single blazing gold eye staring at her.

Byakuren stumbled away from the edge of the pit in a panic, tripping over her own dress in her haste. "W-what…?"

"Byakuren!" Darius jogged back to her side as she got up. "What did you see?"

"I – nothing." The monk began to walk away. "It's just, for a moment, that man looked just like…" She shook her head and smiled wistfully. "It's not important. Not anymore."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Ya think ya got power?" Even in the midst of the storm, Goukei's voice was loud and clear. "Ya ain't got nothing compared to her!"

"Who is it?" Mannosuke snarled as he watched the fire congeal. "The Yama?"

Goukei snorted. "As if. No, this is Wildcard. She just _is_." He spun his scythe in his hands. "And in a couple seconds, she'll _be_ serving ya your ass on a silver platter."

The fire condensed for one brief instant, and then was blown away, the storm settling. In their place stood a woman, wrapped in a dark green dress. Despite the bottom of it constantly scuffing the ground, not a single speck of dirt appeared. It was a simplistic dress with minimal extra design, leaving her pale arms bare as she moved. Long black hair was neatly collected at her back and styled in a way that could have made Kaguya jealous, carefully cut and maintained so that it almost tapered down to a rounded point at her knees.

An elegant blooming grapevine seemed to have been used to keep the hair out of her face, the plant twisting and turning along the left side of her face, right to hwere her chin would be. Her full face, however, was hidden from view by an interesting design of a mask. At first glance, it seemed to be a plain white mask, no additional details or anything – simply a mask meant to hide the face, though without even slits for the nose and mouth. A closer look, however, would reveal the seemingly endless arcane inscriptions etched into it, barely perceptible as they glowed a faint emerald, a contrast to her eyes.

Her eyes.

They were constantly shifting, never seeming to settle with a colour. One moment, they were sky blue, the next they seemed to blur into green, then brown, then red, then through a whole kaleidoscope of colours, not stopping with any colour for more than a tenth of a second. It wasn't just a trick of the light – her eyes were literally changing colour.

"Wildcard," Goukei greeted her.

"Goukei-san," she nodded back. Her accent had an odd lilt to it – one that couldn't be pinned down to any particular place. Even more bizarre, her voice seemed completely unimpeded by her mask – it was as clear as it would've been had she not worn it. "A pleasure to meet once again."

"Still got the lady of the opera theme going, eh?"

Wildcard chuckled, a low, dark noise that would have sent chills down most people's backs. Mannosuke, however, was definitely unlike most people. "Hel-lo, _lady_. Where have you been all this time?"

"Stop right where you're going." Wildcard shot down Mannosuke's badly hidden attempts at hitting on her instantly. "And if you dare to touch me like you did with the miko, I can promise you an eternity's worth of pain."

"Ouch," Goukei winced at the threat, even though it wasn't directed at him. Mannosuke, however, was unperturbed.

"And I don't enjoy you staring at my chest, however ample it looks." Wildcard brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. "However, I suppose I could treat you to a _dance_."

Mannosuke's grin grew wider. "One of _those_ dances, girly?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Wildcard levelled her arm out to the side, parallel with the earth. With the sound of crumbling dirt, an ornate sheathed sword rose from the ground, just as unblemished as her dress. It was closer to a rapier than a sword, but the layout of the scabbard made it clear that it was certainly a classic sword, albeit much slimmer than most. The scabbard was much more intricate than anything else she had, save for her mask. Meticulously wrought gold lines ran along it, many gleaming gemstones set into the hilt of the sword. Without even drawing it, she simply brought her left hand down and plucked it from the ground, still refusing to unsheathe it. "Begin whenever you wish."

Goukei backed away, leery of his old acquaintance's power.

Mannosuke roared and brought his hand down to the earth, glowing with blue energy as he drained it from the earth itself. Tearing out a massive chunk of dirt, he tossed it at Wildcard.

"Please." Her tone was as calm and collected as ever as her right hand came around to the grip of her sword. "Here, I am in my element."

Turning fluidly, she allowed the large projectile to hit its mark – or should have. As she moved, there was a fierce gust of wind as her hand twitched. The aerial earth before her split in two clean pieces as a blast of multicoloured light formed. She finished her turn, the sword sheathed once more at light speed, as if she had never even drawn it. No one had even seen the blade of it.

"_Iaido_," commented Goukei. "The art of drawing a sword and striking in the same movement, sheathing immediately after. Never mind the fact you're not even using the correct weapon for it."

Wildcard ignored him, choosing instead to step forward to meet Mannosuke's sudden bull rush. Ducking under his straight punch, Wildcard straightened back up almost immediately, the sword in her hands twitching once more. A burst of light and a flurry of wind, and it was over in less than half a second, Wildcard sheathing the sword, the blade of it remaining unseen.

Mannosuke staggered, blood trickling from the many cuts across his bare chest. "Alright, how the fuck did you do that!?"

Wildcard raised an arm calmly, the overly manly man's brutal spin kick effortlessly arrested by that one simple gesture. A blur of movement, another flash of light. The mysterious woman tapped her sheathed sword against the ground lightly. "Your enhanced regeneration can't be used if I block your magic absorption, so don't even try."

"Answer the question. And while you're at it, explain what witchcraft you're using."

Wildcard chuckled again. "You amuse me. Simply put, you cannot understand the true form of Wildcard's attacks."

"Enough references, joker-girl." Goukei tossed aside yet another empty bottle. "Get on with it."

"Funny, I remember you calling me differently during our last poker match." Wildcard gazed down at her opponent. "This sword falls out of the scope of your powers; very far out of it. You cannot control what you cannot understand. As for the other, all I did was bleed our little arena dry of magic and put up a barrier. It's not that difficult."

"Good thing I still got these, then." Mannosuke recovered enough to raise a spell card to the air. _"God Sign – Zeus' Fist!"_

Electricity crackling around him, he threw himself forward. "Come on, little girl!"

"Oh, if only you knew…" Wildcard watched him approach. Bringing up her sword, she laid a hand on its grip once more. "I will show you the error of your ways. Do not spurn the world."

The sword was unsheathed.

The wind returned – but not a mere gust of wind. It was a full-fledged _tornado_, ripping at the ground and tipping trees as she struck. The multicoloured light reappeared, and Wildcard's figure blurred, the sword in her hands moving too fast to even be glimpsed. Instead, the only mark of its passage was the damage of the tornado it generated, the blazing light that appeared with every slight movement, and of course, the impact it had on her opponent.

Wildcard sheathed her sword and stepped in towards Mannosuke as he fell, even one of the most physically durable beings in Gensokyo incapable of withstanding the assault. Pressing the tip of the scabbard against his chest, she smiled behind her mask. And, visible to the world, her eyes stopped shifting, firmly set on a single sinister colour.

_"Fall."_

The plume of energy that resulted could be seen from one end of Gensokyo the other.

**– TOUHOU –**

"Nice to see you haven't lost your touch." Goukei strolled up to Wildcard, looking at the carnage. "Still don't think you let loose enough."

Mannosuke struggled to raise his head, blood trickling from a wound on his forehead and closing one of his eyes for him. "Who… _are you?_"

"Everyone and no one." Wildcard tossed aside her sword, the earth happily swallowing it up. Instead, emerald energy blazed to life in her hands, condensing around one into the shape of a claw. "This is it… Morichika."

"Wildcard, enough."

The mysterious woman stopped, her claws an inch from the manly man's neck. "Yes?"

"There are laws to abide by in Gensokyo." Goukei sat down on one of the toppled trees. "And as fun as it'd be to torch everything, we're gonna have to hold back for now."

Wildcard's kaleidoscope eyes narrowed – but her claw lifted anyways. "If you insist. However, you must think on this. This man is a menace. He must be eradicated."

Goukei smiled grimly. "I know a way to neutralize him without killing him."

"Pray tell."

The ex-shinigami pointed to the still-open gates.

"Makai. Send him to Makai."

**– TOUHOU –**

**Just wondering, who can figure out who the man in the crater is? Byakuren seems to have a history with him. It shouldn't be too difficult... but whoever pieces together how he showed up again wins a thousand internets. A hint would be check the faith system in Touhou...**


	31. The King of Hearts

**Crap, I left in a crippling plot hole earlier. Thanks to my PM buddy for pointing it out; you're awesome. I'll be working to correct it with the next flurry of chapters, so there's that. Thanks!**

**To Gabriel Helsing: Correct! It wasn't too tough, and he'll be made official here in case anyone didn't pick it up. The bigger question is how he came back. Everyone knows he died, but if so...?**

**EDIT (22/10/13): Went through a _massive_ housekeeping of BWD, read the whole thing over and fixed a bunch of spell cards, honorifics, grammar/spelling mistakes, etc etc. Hopes it runs a little more smoothly now!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Ha… ha… ha… Well played as ever, sister."

_"Thank you, but I am still the victor of this little scuffle."_

"I beg to differ. I am an angel of death. You're no more than an evil spirit. I _will_ win."

_"You're doing an awful job of proving it."_

"… I'm quite tempted to pull a Shinki and burn this place to the ground just to get you."

_"Good luck with that. You'll need it."_

**– TOUHOU –**

"The gates are open," muttered Darius. He tentatively laid a hand on the gates. Sure enough, they simply swung open, letting him in. "They know we're here."

Kokoro glanced over. "How."

The gunslinger shook his head. "We don't know. But I'm pretty sure they were expecting us. Look up there."

Pandaemonium was, as expected, a fortress of quartz and marble. From what Byakuren had told them, they were to go to Shinki and request assistance, later going to Hokkai and from there back into the wilderness for… whatever Miko was looking for. Unfortunately, it seemed that despite existing in technically different dimensions, there was still a Gensokyan custom firmly anchored in place – and an equally important Gensokyan custom told to go die in a hole.

Namely, you couldn't go anywhere without getting in a fight. For another, _there were no spell cards._

As in, every fight has the potential to be lethal.

And currently, atop the two pillars that supported the main gates, were a fire witch and an ice witch.

"Well, look who we have here!" Yuki floated down to them, a wide grin on her face. "You don't see visitors from Gensokyo every day." She turned to her close friend and comrade, Mai. "Didn't Shinki-sama say something about people from Gensokyo? What was it, what was it… oh, right!" She snapped her fingers. "Kill them all?"

The angel-winged witch simply nodded.

"… Am I missing something?" The gunslinger turned to the magician. "I'm pretty sure you said Shinki's a _nice_ person. And is that Marisa?"

"She normally is." Byakuren watched Yuki laugh about it. Was genocide just a game in Makai after all? "And that's not Marisa. But still, the Shinki I know would never give a command like that…"

"Alright!" Yuki came out of her laughter and settled into a fighting stance, her hands bursting into flames. Beside her, Mai sighed and raised her hands, frost dancing between them. "So, who wants to die first?"

The four turned to face each other. It was a clear challenge; two on two. Kokoro spoke up. "Miko and I. You two go on ahead."

"Wait, isn't that a little obvious?" Darius pointed out in a hushed whisper. "I mean, they're trying to split us up."

"Beat them at their own game," explained the menreiki.

Miko raised an eyebrow. "Kokoro, are you sure you want to–"

"Yes."

"We don't know what they're capable of–"

"No."

Miko and Byakuren exchanged a glance and a unified roll of the eyes. It practically screamed, _Kids._ Then again, Kokoro had managed to once fight the two of them plus Reimu to a draw, so it probably stood for something. Even so…

"There aren't spell cards here." Byakuren had to emphasize that. "If you lose, you might die."

Kokoro nodded. "I know the risks."

Miko narrowed her eyes. "… Sometimes, I just can't tell what you're thinking at all."

As one, they all turned to face the two witches. Miko spoke first. "We've decided."

"So, which ones?"

Miko gestured to herself and Kokoro. "This won't take long," she whispered out the side of her mouth. Darius and Byakuren nodded.

As the two of them ran on ahead, Yuki simply grinned and let them past. "They don't matter. All we need to do is fight the two of you." Tossing around a fireball in one hand, she threw it aside. "Let's begin."

Instantly, a snowstorm formed as Mai shot into the air. Firmly on the ground with them, Yuki raised a fist of flame and punched, the fireball leaving her and effortlessly reaching them in record time.

Kokoro's mask dissipated, replaced by her favoured fox-like mask for combat. A flick of her wrist, and her fan was out and open, easily dispersing the fireball. Snapping it shut, the menreiki rushed forward, a blue light forming in her hands. It lanced out to either side and solidified, forming a naginata. Another step forward–

"Kokoro, get back!" Miko's words came just in time for the menreiki to halt her advance and back away. Sure enough, an icy gust blew past, crystallizing everything in its path – a path Kokoro had almost walked onto. Miko put aside her shaku and laid a hand on the sword at her hip. "Be more careful of your surroundings."

Her mask changed to a sheepish-looking one for an instant, but was quickly replaced again. Kokoro muttered an apology and looked at Mai. Miko met her eyes and nodded.

"Looks like they're attacking us individually," Yuki whispered to Mai. The ice witch struggled to not roll her eyes, but managed. "Guess I'm dealing with DJ-whoever, you handle the mask girl."

Another nod.

Kokoro slowly flew up to the waiting ice witch. A frosty silence passed between them (no pun intended) as they readied their weapons. On a silent agreement, they both lunged forward, an icicle spear in Mai's hands, her naginata in Kokoro's. The two clashed in the air rapidly, each trying to keep their distance against the other. Mai feinted with her spear and instead went for a quick jab. However, her opponent slid out of the way of it and slashed with her own weapon before Mai could recover. The attack was barely dodged, leaving a shallow cut on the ice witch's cheek. Eyes hardening, she raised a hand to the air and clenched it into a fist, the blizzard blowing harder around them.

Still comfortably grounded to the floor, Yuki laughed as she rolled out of the way of another salvo of light beams. "Is that your only attack or what? Use something else for a change. Like _this!_"

Rushing in, Yuki ducked under Miko's quick slash with her sword, coming up with a flaming uppercut that sent her reeling. Thankfully for her, the freezing blizzard around them almost instantly extinguished the fire when Yuki's grip on it was gone. Even so, it left a scalding burn. Stepping forward, Miko unsheathed the blade, swiping rapidly. Yuki, for her part, dodged remarkably well, until Miko's leg came around and collided squarely with her knee, followed immediately by a glancing blow across her side. Though the joint didn't break, it was certainly excruciating.

The fire witch swore as she gestured upwards with her hand, a wall of flame blocking off Miko's passage as Yuki recovered. Satisfied her knee was at least in working condition, Yuki looked up – and swore again as Miko straight-up jumped _through_ the fire, the flames biting at her and dying out almost instantly. Her eyes cold, the Crown Prince struck, sword brutally slashing across her face and sending her reeling. Clutching the diagonal cut that was dribbling blood all over her, Yuki raised her other hand.

A literal flamethrower spouted from her fingertips, striking Miko and sending her sprawling. Yuki moved to follow it up and received a shaku to the stomach for her effort. Pulling it back, Miko swung it back around.

_Hard._

Mai wrestled aside Kokoro, one of her angel wings flapping at an odd angle. She had at least paid back the menreiki in kind by breaking her arm. Granted, they would both regenerate in seconds, but that was beside the point. The ice witch didn't even care she had dispelled her snowstorm, instead opting to watch as her fiery counterpart collapsed, a brief smile flitting across her face.

"Thank you for that." Mai's voice was soft and melodic. However, there was nothing soft about the way her wings shifted, setting back into their proper sockets as they turned from feathered angel wings to pale demon wings. "She held me back." Holding her hands out before her, she brought them apart, an icicle spear far, _far_ larger and deadlier than her previous one formed in her hands.

"Allow me to repay the favour."

**– TOUHOU –**

Wildcard looked up as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "It seems your friends are here, Goukei-san." She got up and began to walk away. Suddenly, she stopped and turned. "Oh, we still need to discuss my terms of payment later."

"Get outta here." The oni flapped his hand in her general direction. He'd up and gotten wasted again. "I'll getcha… something. Now git!"

Wildcard sighed. The ex-shinigami always acted weird when he got drunk. "I'll be leaving you now. Try not to get the boot out of _another_ perfectly good job."

"Get out!"

The strange iai master simply laughed aloud and walked away. In three steps, reality… _bent_, as if it were squishing her into a tiny dot impossible to see. Almost like a balloon inflating, but in reverse. Reality snapped back into place, and she was gone, like she had never appeared.

Goukei sighed and thumped his head on the tree behind him. "She's a weird-ass one, ya know that?"

The tree did not answer.

The oni glared at it through his drunken haze. "Oi! Ya tryin'ta pick a fight with me or somethin'!?"

"Unyuu?"

"_Yes,_ Utsuho-san. This is the right place. Just through these trees and – what." Alice stepped into the clearing and gaped at the devastation wrought by Wildcard. Picking out the drunken oni in the midst of the torn-up boulders and tipped-over trees, Alice carefully floated over to him. "Who are you and what happened here?"

"I'm gonna kill you and keep killing you, and then you're gonna be dead and…" Goukei rambled into thin air and flopped over as Alice facepalmed.

"What's wrong with him?" Alice flinched as the ditzy hell raven peered over her shoulder. Partly because she didn't like getting too close to anyone. Mostly because _her skin burns like fire how is it so hot help help help owwwwwwww!_

"Unyuu?" Okuu repeated as she watched Alice leap away from her and hop on the spot as her dolls tried to calm her down. "What's wrong?"

Alice barely had enough stability left to raise a hand, gesturing for her to stop. In a minute or two, she had finally taken the edge off of her burns and was able to speak coherently again. "Why are you so hot?" Then she realized the implications of what she had said and quickly tried to amend it. "N-n-not like that! I meant your body temperature, why is it so high!?"

"I don't get it…" The nuclear girl tilted her head to the side as Alice crashed to the ground.

Dusting herself off, she muttered, "Forget it. You're too innocent as it is." Looking up, she noticed the ex-shinigami had somehow already passed out. "_And_ our guide's knocked out. Well, forget him. Utsuho-san, do you remember why we're here?"

"To look for the guy with the funny coat…" Okuu tapped her chin in thought. "To help him beat stuff up, and… what else?"

Alice pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers. "You're close enough. Now, remember, Utsuho-san, Makai is _poisonous_. If you stay close to me, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, but try not to wander away. Alright?"

"Okay~!" And then Utsuho pressed herself right up against Alice.

The puppeteer spent the next ten minutes writhing in agony.

**– TOUHOU –**

Kokoro couldn't believe it, though this was clearly visible through her jaw-dropped mask of shock. Mai hadn't been lying when she said Yuki was a detriment to her. Barely five minutes of fighting, and the ice witch had torn up everything in a fifty-foot radius around them, whether through missed shots or sheer blizzard power. The mask wavered, turning to the mask of anger as she scooted around the exhausted Miko. While the saint hadn't received any fatal injuries, she was covered in countless cuts, partly from the icicles cleverly disguised by the blizzard, partly by taking a massive ice spear at point-blank range, though that only contributed to the horrid wound across her side.

The menreiki began to stalk forward, reaching behind her and pulling out a colossal lion mask. Before she could it on, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Who was it now–?

What.

_What._

_WHAT?_

**_WHAT!?_**

It was the man from the crater they had seen, only now his hood was down as he stared back at Kokoro. His softly glowing gold eyes matched his hair – the bottom of it, at least. It faded through a gradient effect as it neared the top of his head, where it was a bold violet, the same colour of his robes. Now that they were standing face to face, she could see the scar marring his otherwise-untouched skin, cut that ran from his left temple to the side of his mouth – a lasting impression of the injury that had once taken him. Withdrawing his hand, he silently stepped past her, softly pushing her away from ice witch.

Mai sneered as an ice spear formed in her loose hand. "Do you have a death wish, too?"

Myouren Hijiri smiled grimly and shook his head. "I've come here to remind you that you are currently operating well outside of Shinki-san's orders."

"And what do you know about what Shinki-sama wants from us?" Mai hefted the spear, poised to fling it into his chest at any given moment.

"Her orders were to chase off, not kill." Kokoro raised an eyebrow behind him.

"Well then you'll remember she didn't mention anything about killing." Mai's disturbing smile was back. "She never prohibited it."

And with that, she struck.

Myouren stepped to the side, the spear brushing a mere inch past his face. The blizzard exploded into full force as Mai leapt, hands extended as if to throttle him. Surprisingly, he actually stepped forward to intercept the attack, a single hand raised. Myouren lifted his hand and laid a single finger on her forehead. A ringing sound and a wave of golden light, and Mai fell, slumping to the side and breathing heavily as her blizzard died away almost instantly. She backed away from the monk, hands clawing at the ground.

"If you're still going to spare your opponents," she seethed. "You will regret it." She lifted her arm and flung it out towards Myouren – and watched as a single snowflake appeared and melted away. She tried again, this time with no results. "What did you do… _what did you do?_"

Myouren gave her an apologetic look. "I had to disable your powers for the time being. I promise you will regain your powers in–"

Mai leapt up, springing into the air, intent on simply killing him with her bare hands. This time, he simply hopped to the side and let Mai's momentum propel her into the wall. "Defeated by her own rash actions," he murmured. However, he no longer paid the ice witch any heed and instead approached Miko. Placing a finger on her forehead similarly to the way he had done with Mai, instead of the same ringing glow of light, he simply began to chant under his breath. Immediately, her many wounds began to close up. As she breathed a sigh of relief, he asked her, "Are you alright?"

Miko stood and nodded. "Yes. Thank you, Myouren-san."

He turned to Kokoro, who was still simply staring at him, the mask of shock on her face. She hadn't moved at all since Myouren appeared. "Is she fine?"

"Surprised," chuckled Miko. "But perfectly fine, yes."

"How." Kokoro's question was blunt and simple. "How did you return. You were…"

"Dead, yes." Myouren smiled ruefully at the memory. "But I'll save that story for another time. Can you tell me where my younger sister is?"

Miko and Kokoro started. The menreiki spoke first. "I-in Pandaemonium. We don't know where they went from there."

The monk nodded. "I should have assumed as much. Thank you, both of you. I need to find her… couldn't talk during…" His voice trailed off as he stared at the castle, seemingly not seeing it, but something else entirely. "Mima." He stood abruptly and began to walk at a brisk pace. "Follow me, please. We're to be needed soon – urgently."

**– TOUHOU –**

**"The clock is ticking. The world hastens towards destruction…**

**"Let's up the ante, shall we?"**

**You are making a terrible mistake, girl.**

**"Stand ****_down_****, you. The moon's revolt is looming over us all already; what would a century or two make in the scheme of things?"**

**You are not the original gap youkai. You are meddling in things well outside your comprehension.**

**"Silence! I will take the world in the palm of my hand. Everyone on its surface is to be my plaything."**

**… I cannot allow that.**

**"What could you possibly do to me?"**

**More than you could ever imagine, foolish child. Know your limits.**

**"And just where do you think you're going?"**

**Places.**

**"Get back here! Your power is critical to the plan, you're not going to–"**

**Well then, your plan is just going to crumble, isn't it…**

**_"Damn it!_****"**

**…**

**"I guess she's not coming back. Oh, well. If one plan fails, and the one after it, why stop at Plan B…**

**"When you can have a Plan Z? This game is over...**

**"Let's play a new one."**


	32. The Joker

_**Two hours for an impossible task. The clock is ticking.**_

**Finally, another chapter! This one took a while, not because it was hard to write, but because of a terrible and beautiful thing called Terraria. The new update just sucked me in and feasted on my spare time. Apologies~**

**To Demopan: There are references like you would not believe. I've referenced so many games I've honestly lost count. Can you find them all? Ufufufu~**

**Mr PM: Critical research failure on my part, I know. I said I'm sorreh! Thanks for pointing out the honorifics derail, I never even realized. As for the Expy situation, Karin is justified in that she ****_is_**** Yukari, so it doesn't really count. She's also a lot creepier and sadistic, but that's not important. Wildcard is just Yukari, amped Up to Eleven. You manage Gensokyo? I manage the Earth itself.**

**Myouren and Byakuren... there are actually quite a few critical differences. In a way, they're the same, but not quite. As I already told you, Myouren has made his ascension after death. Byakuren definitely hasn't, though she's on the right path. Myouren is a complete pacifist. That doesn't mean lying down and letting others walk all over you, because that's a big steaming pile of bullcrap. He fights when he absolutely must. In this Touhouverse, he's a better Youkai Jesus than Byakuren. Have you read her pre-battle lines in 13.5? She can really ham it up with her pre-battle one-liners. Also, Myouren fights with nothing but his natural power if he must, Byakuren still needs her scroll and vajra in combat. Otherwise, she's a Squishy Wizard.**

**By the way, a fair few random facts are tossed around this chapter. I've checked into it, they're solid.**

**– TOUHOU –**

_1 hour, 19 minutes, 42 seconds…_

"Shinki-sama, we have visitors."

"Ah, yes, thank you, Yumeko." The demon goddess smiled and nodded to her maid. "You may leave us."

Yumeko bowed and left the room, courteously shutting the door behind her.

Shinki gestured to her two visitors. "Please, take a seat. Byakuren, it's been so long since we last met!"

A shared glance between gunslinger and magician; they'd accept, but something wasn't right.

Maybe it was the evil spirit quietly watching them from opposite Shinki.

And yet, it seemed she didn't even care. Cautiously, the two of them sat at the square table – a simplistic yet elegant mahogany piece, a stark contrast to the gleaming white pillars around them. Stained-glass windows and what looked like solid gold chandeliers and candle holders gave the whole room an overarching cathedral-esque feel to it. The irony was not lost on Darius, though he said nothing, lest his life end a little earlier than would be nice.

As for the two they were currently sitting with…

Shinki's infamous six wings were concealed at the moment by one thing or another – did her side-ponytail… thing just move on its own? If it did, she certainly didn't notice or didn't care as she watched the two of them earnestly. She definitely didn't seem to be under the control of someone else, unless the evil spirit had a say in it.

The evil spirit…

"Are you Mima?" Darius opened up with a blunt and to-the-point question.

Mima lazily waved her hand. "'Ello. Scourge of the Hakurei bloodline, serial killer of hundreds of thousands, master of a million lesser demons and kleptomaniacal witches, evil spirit ascended to evil godhood and carefree jaywalker, Mima Maseriki, that's me."

_"Guess the rumours were right,"_ he thought to himself as he quietly accepted a cup of tea from the returning Yumeko. Aloud, he said, "If that's so, where is Marisa?"

Mima turned to Shinki. "This one's an odd one. Most people at least run away in terror after the part about evil godhood."

"Don't be rude," chided the demon goddess. "Answer his question." She turned to Darius. "Oh, and the tea is safe. I promise."

Byakuren was already silently drinking her tea. Darius took that as a sign it was safe. The magician spoke. "Shinki. It's very nice to see you again, but I must ask you…" She gestured wildly in Mima's general direction. _"Why do you have Mima of all people as a visitor!?"_

"She was sealed for years in a tiny room that barely qualified as a walk-in closet." Despite exactly who they were talking about, Shinki seemed completely carefree about the whole thing. "She's entitled to getting out at some point."

"And you helped her?" Byakuren's tone was incredulous.

The demon goddess shook with laughter, nearly spilling her own tea. "No, no, no. I simply kept her company, the same way I kept you company during your exodus."

"… Well played." A brief smile was exchanged between the two. "So what have you been doing all these years?"

"Me?" Shinki thought back. "Mostly, I was dead." She waved her hands in the air frantically as Byakuren's jaw dropped. "Wait, hold on! Yes, we gods die, but we always come back, remember?"

On the other half of the table, the tension was there, but rather hard to keep a hold of, mostly due to how inexplicably lax Mima was.

"Yes, I did train little Marisa. Yes, I did kill by the dozens and lost track after a while. No, I am not going to kill you for seeing me." Mima laughed at Darius' flat expression. "What, did you expect a heartless killing machine?"

"That's exactly what I expected." The gunslinger's tone was as flat as his face. "You're telling me mass murder has _no_ psychological effect."

"I'm a girl who got tired of life one day and floated out of her body in the morning because she was bored."

"Yeah, well that's–" Darius made a double-take. "Wait, _what?_"

"It's exactly what it says on the tin." A look of nostalgia came over the evil spirit's face. "I was there, way back in the day (_Wow_ that makes me sound like a grandma) when the Great Hakurei Barrier was originally formed. Just another human with the power to harness the energies released as the sun faded and the moon rose and bend it to my will. In layman's terms, twilight energy," she simplified quickly. "Then about twenty or so years after that, I decided Gensokyo was boring. The outside world is chock-full of self-centered, arrogant, useless humans who don't know the meaning of self-sacrifice if you gave them a dagger and threatened to kill everyone they knew and lov–" She cleared her throat. "_A-ny-ways…_ the outside world was a bust, too. I decided going to hell might be fun, but only the non-living go there. So I died."

"So you're a ghost?"

Mima glared at him. "Don't _ever_ call me a ghost. Ghosts are bound by regrets to the physical realm. I tossed aside my body like… like… like a snake shedding skin! I was free to go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Then I found another conduit for magical energy." She smiled a terrible smile. "Are you familiar with something called a Mini-Hakkero?"

"You did not."

"I definitely did. I made a duplicate Hakkero–"

"A duplicate? You mean you didn't make the original Hakkero?"

Mima brought a hand to her face. "The Hakkero is a furnace in which the monkey king was sentenced to burn in as punishment for stealing eternal life. You never heard of it, did you?"

Darius scratched his cheek. "Not really…"

The evil spirit rolled her eyes. "One way or another, I made the first portable Hakkero, at least. I say portable and not mini because it was still massive compared to Marisa's Mini-Hakkero, but it was an excellent conduit for magic. So I decided to test its power. By going on a mass killing spree that ended with Marisa flipping me off and learning love magic instead of more _stable _emotion-based magic (Have you _seen _the kinds of relationships kids these days make!?), me locked in Reimu's basement and about a million people six feet under." The way she said it so casually made Darius shudder. She caught the movement and laughed. "That's behind me; I already said I'm not going to wander off on another crusade – maybe later. Anyways, Shinki came by to visit, and then this happened."

"How interesting." Karin tapped a finger on the table in a bored manner. "Now, can we progress the story before it grows stale?"

Immediately, the table exploded into movement. Byakuren leapt back, scroll and vajra coming up, Darius drew his revolver at inhuman speeds, Mima toppled backwards, and Shinki just sat there, still savouring her tea. But before anyone could finish moving, dozens of stitched gaps manifested, huge assortments of every sharp, spiked, projectile, explosive, or just remotely dangerous at all weapons forming at her command. Suddenly, the hall was very, very still.

**"Try anything and you're all becoming my midnight snack," **the youkai legion snarled.

"Is such a show really necessary?" Shinki continued to sit at her chair, having not even bothered to so much as glance at the gathered weapons that would have been equivalent to any bloodthirsty monster's wet dream.

Karin cleared her throat. When she spoke, it wasn't in the gathered voices of hundreds, but just her normal voice again. "I get bored; it's what I do."

"All for the shits and giggles, huh?" Darius leaned back a little further as a colossal German Zweihander poked his nose threateningly.

"If you can make reality your personal bitch, why not have fun with it?" Karin laughed. "Now, you lot have been getting along all too well. So I think I'll just fix that~"

A wave of her hand, and another gap appeared, dangling a certain blonde puppeteer from it on a length of rope.

Karin smiled sadistically. "I found this one sneaking around trying to get here. I'm not one for such cliché situations, but I'll make do with what I have. Now, how did they put it? Ah, yes…" She cleared her throat once more. **"If you ever want to see Alice Margatroid again, do as I command you~"**

"Seriously!?" Darius protested from under the seething mass of steel. Pressing himself flat against the ground as a two-sided war axe hung a mere inch above his stomach, he continued. "That is probably the worst you could've possibly come up with–"

"I could've used even worse," shrugged Karin. "Now, Shinki, all I need you to do is kill these two. Rough them up, straight-up kill them in cold blood, I don't care. Just keep them out of it. Think you can do that?" Then she floated to the side as a massive fireball blasted by her, still hitting her.

"Keep your filthy hands off of her," Shinki seethed. She moved quickly towards the bound puppeteer, but Karin moved faster. Out of the smoke and into the demon goddess' path, a hand coming up to slam shut around her wrist. Blood trickling from her face, her hair parted to reveal a disgusting sight.

Half of her _entire face_ had been literally exploded by the attack. Her skin was all but completely missing, along with much of the muscle underneath, exposing pearly-white bones. Her eye rolled madly in its socket as she grinned, blood seeping into her dress and onto the floor. **"Now, that's just rude. All I needed you to do was beat up those two over there! But could you do that? No, you ****_couldn't!_****"**

Her hand lashed out to the side and gestured upwards, the many weapons vanishing into their respective gaps. She brought around the same hand and began to clench it. The tighter her fingers curled, the more pain seemed to suddenly strike Shinki. Karin's face was lit with a sick, twisted glee, made all the worse by her exposed skull.

**_"Kyuu."_**

The demon goddess hissed in pain as her arm splintered, the entire limb simply falling out of its socket and instantly withering away, leaving behind nothing but dust. Stalking forward, Karin raised a hand over her face and passed it down. As her palm crossed over it, her face was instantly restored. **"You know, it could've been a fair bit simpler. Too bad I have to rip you a new one – too bad for you, at least. Heaven knows I need a good warm-up."**

A single arcing strike that could have sheared entire mountain ranges in half, and Shinki was slammed into the wall so fast no one could even see her movement. It was as if she was standing toe-to-toe with Karin, and then she was halfway embedded in the wall.

This seemed to finally shock the others into action. But as they prepared for battle again, a simple sweep of her hand sent them all reeling, and another, more forceful gesture saw them all slammed to the ground.

Darius felt the familiar crushing pressure, though it was far stronger than he remembered. "This is…!"

**"Yup, my good old buddy, Gravity."** Karin pressed her palm downwards a little more and watched the ground indent with the pressure. **"I'd love to simply gut you all right now, but where's the fun in that?"** Her eyes fell on Shinki. **"This one, on the other hand…"**

"Don't you… dare harm her…" Shinki panted as she rose. Her back erupted into white light, six majestic wings extending out behind her. Another burst of light, and they shattered, revealing purple-red wings. Four colossal orbs of energy formed behind her, another even larger one in her hands. "Taste the Devil's Incantation, and weep…"

**"Oh dear, isn't this the same spell you used against the little miko back in the day?"** Karin tapped the side of her head in thought, as if the battle wasn't even happening. **"Yes, I think it was. It was the one that killed everyone else in Makai and burnt everything to the ground – at least, it killed everything ****_except_**** what you were aiming at."** Her eyes flickered over to a furious violet. **"Care to make the same mistake again?"**

It had the right effect. Karin's words made Shinki falter, the raw power behind her spell fluctuating. Seizing her opportunity, Karin leapt forward, one arm drawn back. It was bathed in a blazing purple light, the runoff streams extending several feet behind her as she moved, fingers turned into claws. A crushing sideswipe…

And it was over.

Shinki's head rolled across the hard marble floor, a stream of red following it as her body collapsed. Karin carelessly waved her hand, and the deforming five orbs Shinki had set up were sucked into a black hole, leading to God knows where. The black hole in question shuddered violently as something inside it exploded, before flickering out of existence once again. Her job of not having the dimension razed to the ground again complete, the youkai legion knelt down and scooped up the decapitated head of the demon goddess.

Byakuren balked at the sight. Darius averted his eyes. Mima simply watched in grisly fascination as Karin ran a finger along its forehead, as if to brush away the loose hair like a mother would to a child. Then, her hand was cloaked in black energy, sharpening into a drill as she plunged it into the severed head, systematically drawing power from it. For several seconds, she did not move, until she slowly withdrew the appendage, a sickening sound of mulching flesh following it. She tossed aside the head, a stitched gap conveniently appearing to whisk it away. Another set of gaps appeared, and she washed her hands under the rush of water that was suspended between the two.

**"Ah~ much better,"** sighed Karin. She coughed once. "Well, now that Shinki's out of the game, I assume it's just Mima who fights you three. Come on, evil spirit, up you get." A wave of her hand, and the enhanced gravity rubbing their faces into the floor lessened, letting them up.

Straightaway, Mima started for her crescent moon staff, but Karin raised a hand. **"Don't even think about it."**

"And why should we listen to you?" Mima instead leaned on a wall, a vibrant green flame dancing across her fingertips. "After all, you just, oh, I dunno, killed a perfectly good demon goddess right in front of us and ate her powers. Yup, the mark of a world-class confidant right there."

"I suppose I could just toss you down the same road. Then again, maybe plunging you into _complete darkness_ forever might be fun. Then again, insanity does tend to get boring if you play around with it for too long…" Karin shrugged. "I'll get to it when I get to it. Anyways, you with me or against me?"

"Take a wild guess," hissed Mima.

Karin grinned. **"I was hoping you would say that."** As she rolled out the kinks in her neck, she added, **"Going straight from demon goddess to goddess of evil… today's one ****_hell_**** of a fun day!"**

"It's about to get a whole lot more fun for you." Six gouts of black energy formed behind Mima, spreading out and bursting into the shape of six feathered black wings. Unlike Shinki's, they were not partly mechanical; these were all Mima, all the time. She brought her hands out before her, orange energy flickering wildly in her hands and rapidly expanding to as tall as her. "Let's start this off right!" And as the light burst, she roared with triumphant fury.

_"TWILIGHT SPARK!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

_1 hour, 7 minutes, 39 seconds…_

Mononobe no Futo cocked her head as she watched Utsuho rock back and forth on the ground, crying quietly. "Child, why art thou saddened? What hath made thee so miserable?"

"Unyuu~" Okuu looked at the oddly archaic shikaisen. "My puppet friend is missing, and I don't know where to find her…" She sniffled sadly. "I've been looking all over, but I can't find her!"

Futo shook her head, a smile on her face. She extended a hand to the hell raven. "Come now! Such things are not to restrain thee from thy goals. If thou art to persevere, thy will succeed without doubt!"

Utsuho wiped her tears and accepted her hand. "T-thanks."

"And what might thy name be?"

"Utsu… Ikuto… Reiuj… Rae – Okuu." The hell raven simply gave up on her name. "I'm Okuu."

"'Tis a pleasure to meet thee, Okuu-san. I am Mononobe no Futo."

"Mono… mononono – mono-sound?"

Futo laughed. "Just Futo will fare well."

**– TOUHOU –**

"Wildcard…" Goukei looked up, a dead serious look on his face for once,

"Hmm?" The mysterious girl glanced up from her cards.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. You know I simply don't lose card games." She laid out her hand – King of Clubs, Jack of Clubs. "_Royal Flush._"

"Oh fuck – how do you keep doing that!?" Goukei flipped the boulder they were playing on, the unfortunate rock sailing into the distance, never to be seen again. As the cards slowly fluttered to the ground, he pointed dramatically at Wildcard. "There is no way, in all nine rings of hell, you could _possibly_ dish out four royal flushes _in consecutive order!_ Especially when _you're not the one shuffling it!_"

"I'm just that good."

"_Aaaaargh!"_

Several uprooted trees' worth of venting later, Goukei sat back down, tying his scythe to his back once more. Wildcard looked over from the book she had somehow procured. "Better?"

"Better." The ex-shinigami glanced at her book. "Is that… Shakespeare?"

"Most people don't realize Juliet was actually 13, Romeo's age is never stated, and in Shakespeare's time, women had to be played by men, meaning the so-called 'love story' of Romeo and Juliet is actually a grim comedy about definitely underage, possibly pedophilic, and likely gay relationships."

"Seriously," Goukei deadpanned. "Stop reading into his works so deep. Anyways, that's not what I meant when I asked what are you doing. I mean, what the hell are you doing back in town? You never show up unless–"

"There is a catastrophe of biblical proportions about to occur, yes," finished the wild card. "Therefore, I am here because Gensokyo is about to 'get its sorry ass handed to it on a silver platter', as you so love to eloquently put it." Her eyes were filled with mirth at the oni's reactions. "But whoever said I'm not just here on my own terms? Because I'm bored? Old Father Time has nothing on me – he's in debt to _me_. So I'm just here because I can be." She thought on that for a bit. "Well, I suppose I am here for the fluff and the bad jokes and whatnot, too."

Goukei's eyes narrowed for several seconds before he spoke again.

"Wildcard, you are fucked up beyond all comprehension."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Again, refer to my previous statement."

**– TOUHOU –**

**I promise you, Wildcard isn't lying about the Romeo and Juliet thing.**

**Also, HAH! Show of hands, who expected an epic showdown between Darius and Mima straightaway, or at least some sort of massive revelation? Well nope, nothing to see here, move along, move along...**

**I hope she feels like a more responsible Marisa. Don't push her buttons, though. You'll come home one day and realize someone stole your entire home. She pulls weird heists like that.**

**Before any of you say any thing, no, Shinki is not out of it forever. She came back after Reimu decked her, she can regrow a severed head.**


	33. The Trump Card

**Nothing to see here. Move along, move along...**

**Mr PM: Actually, Goukei knows a lot more than he lets on. He might do that, but I'm not sure yet. While he's technically very old and by extension very powerful (Power=Age*Politeness-Logic), he never bothers to crank it all the way up. Ever. If he did, he'd be right up there with the bigwigs on the Super Weight scale.**

**Good point. Darius' full potential is 6-7, but he's such a tiny youkai right now his current level is a high 3. Probably seeing it up at high 4 or low 5 near the end of it all - but only briefly, of course. Goukei doesn't really rely on his special power much, but his raw power is a solid 4, going up to 5, borderline 6 if he pushes it. Myouren is a low 6, which will be explained later. Wildcard is flat-out 7. Be glad she almost never actually does anything with that power. She just floats around on the sidelines and hops in if she decides it gets out of hand.**

**As for Karin, her normal power levels are a static 3, but her 'true' special power can put her right up there with Yukari at a high 6. The keyword is 'can'. As she is, she ranks at a medium 5.**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Well… done, Cagnes…"

_"Still not my name."_

"Didn't expect… you to unseal _him…_ so early…!"

_"Is that so."_

"H-hold it… we're not done!"

_CLANG!_

_"We most certainly are. If you'll excuse me, I have to make sure _he _behaves."_

"This… this is madness. You can't…"

_"… Madness? I'm not crazy. I simply see the world a bit differently from others."_

"…"

_"You also realize the longer we talk, the closer _he_ gets to awakening. Are you coming or staying?"_

"You… tell me."

_"Staying it is. I'll be back for you, Sariel."_

"…"

"…"

"… You better be."

**– TOUHOU –**

_1 hour, 7 minutes, 40 seconds…_

_"TWILIGHT SPARK!"_

At those two dreaded words, everyone hit the deck, leaping behind Mima to where it was at least somewhat safe. Karin, however, was nowhere to be seen. Either she had been instantly defeated by the assault, or she was simply waiting for her chance to strike. Knowing her, it was likely the latter option.

Mima lowered her hands, brushing them off on her clothes as she looked around. Her Twilight Spark had instantly turned over half of Pandaemonium to rubble, which was saying something, considering the castle was the size of a city. "I need to get better at using that. Spent years rusting over, I can't even tell if I got her or not…"

**"You definitely didn't." **Karin smashed free of the rubble, eyes burning violet. **"I guess we're skipping a few plot twists' worth of work. Let's get right to it."**

The evil spirit spun her crescent moon staff at her side like an expert. "Hey, you two." Byakuren and Darius started. "Don't just sit there! Lend a hand for once."

"Against _her?_" As if to prove his point, Darius ducked as a storm of various sharp objects sailed over his head, courtesy of another stitched gap. "We won't last a second!"

"Come on," said Karin as she stepped into a gap, appearing above Mima and drop kicking her into the ground. "You two are the leading dancers of this little ball.** Now, ****_dance!_****"**

Darius felt the ground under his feet ripple. He looked down – and abruptly swore, leaping out of the way as a massive spike erupted from the floor, disappearing back into its gap almost immediately. "Guess we don't have a choice, huh?"

**"No, you don't!"** The youkai legion reached into another gap, pulling out a claymore the size of her own body and blocking Mima's strike with it. **"Now move, or I will make you move!"**

An overhead cleaving movement, and Mima staggered under both the force of the strike and the sheer weight of the massive sword. Spinning it around like it was as light as a feather, Karin laughed manically as she brought it around, aiming for Mima's exposed side. Instead of cleanly severing her at the waist, the evil spirit brought her staff up, instead choosing to let herself be flung into a wall.

Karin crouched down low for a split second before taking off at impossible speeds, zipping over to Mima in an instant. She brought up her elbow and drove it into Mima's ribcage, forcing down the evil spirit. Moving quickly, she reached into a gap and brought out a rocket launcher, pointing it directly into Mima's face and firing.

The youkai legion was sent skidding several feet as the point-blank explosion erupted. She frowned as she noticed the sword she'd been using had bent almost ninety degrees in the middle from her last attack and was now almost melting from the sheer heat. Tossing it aside carelessly, she leapt towards Darius, claws extended.

"Holy – what's gotten into you!?" Darius felt his feet leave the ground as he blocked Karin's lunge, falling to the ground and rolling backwards, kicking her off of him. Spinning, the sword hilt in his hands melted, rapidly changing into the revolver instead. _"Acerbatus!"_

The youkai legion raised her hands and _grabbed_ the entire thing, a compressed monstrosity of darkness crackling in her hands. Lifting it over her head, she tossed it aside and leapt back, feet pressing against the wall. With enough force to crumble the wall behind her, she pushed off, already bringing around a wickedly sharp scimitar for the killing blow.

But instead of meeting flesh, the scimitar's blade was completely removed, spinning past Darius and clattering to the floor. Byakuren brought her foot up and around in a powerful spin kick that literally hit hard enough to spin Karin around twice. "Darius, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The gunslinger grit his teeth as he watched Karin get back up. "Don't know for how long, though."

The youkai legion slid the back of her hand across her mouth, staring at the red-black blood on it in surprise. "Huh. You actually wounded me. Congratulations, you did better than the demon goddess did." She raised her hand into the air, the blood on it seemingly coming to a boil and sizzling away. **"Guess that means we're not pulling punches anymore."**

The air behind her began to flicker violently, a single gap appearing behind her – and growing. And growing. _And growing._ Until it was towering over them all at the height of some two hundred feet. Its depths glowed a mad violet, thousands of weapons appearing from its depths and floating there, poised to strike at any given moment. Everything, from knives to swords to pistols to rocket launchers to assault rifles. It was the same trick Karin had pulled when she first appeared, but much more terrifying.

Karin slowly lowered her hand until it was no longer pointing straight into the air, but rather at the two of them.

**"Graze ****_this_****."**

But just as the weapons flew and the bullets fired, a figure clad in deep purple stepped in front of them, hand raised against the oncoming storm.

A wave of golden energy appeared, a nigh-impenetrable barrier exploding from his hands. Everything harmlessly bounced off, leaving everyone else present dumbfounded as Karin's instant blitzkrieg died down. Karin snarled, **"****_YOU!_****"**

Darius raised an eyebrow. "You're…!?"

Byakuren gasped. "You…!"

"Me." Myouren smiled at his younger sister. "It's been so long… nee-san."

"Wait, you two are…" Darius looked back and forth between them. Aside from the differing clothes and the length of their hair, they were all but identical. "No way. You're _Myouren Hijiri?_"

The monk nodded. "It's a rather long story. However," he added as he glanced over at Karin. "I think that story will have to wait."

**"You…"** Karin seethed. **"Damnable monk. You were supposed to be dead."**

"I was dead," said Myouren, stepping forward. "I came back when I was needed."

"You two are way too alike," Darius muttered to Byakuren.

Karin shook her head in disgust. "I don't have time to waste to fighting you, and I have eternity." Whipping around, a stitched gap appeared in front of her. "This game has ended." She glanced over her shoulder as the gap before her blurred, fading into the overhead view of a place Darius knew well.

The outside world.

Karin's mad grin was back as she spoke. "Let's play a different one; I'm hiding. Somewhere… Anywhere. **Can you catch me?"**

"Karin, don't you dare–" Darius was abruptly cut off as Myouren held an arm out.

"Don't chase her," the monk said, his eyes still on the retreating gap youkai.

**"I think I'll have this a little like a stage play."** Karin's gaze was filled with its old sadistic mirth**. "You'll have to find me. Then, you'll have to catch us.****_ But only _****if you play nice." **After a moment of thought, she reached into the gap, pulling out the bound Alice and tossing it aside. **"Well, your job's done. Run along."**

They said nothing as she giggled, leaping forward into the gap as she did. **"Be grateful; we left a gift for you! She should appear a~ny second now…"**

Sure enough, they heard footsteps down one of the few halls that wasn't damaged during their scuffle. "Mima-sama, I got those cursed tomes you were looking for, ze! But what are we doing with the Necronomi–" Marisa stepped into the room and stopped as if she had walked into a brick wall, the books tumbling from her arms.

Too late, Darius realized the trap Karin had set up for them. Marisa had walked into the room and seen Mima knocked out under a pile of rubble, Shinki's head was missing, and there were three convenient vents for her anger right there for her.

The gunslinger began to back away, raising his hands. "Now, Marisa, this isn't what it looks like…"

"You know, I think this is exactly what it looks like." Marisa's calm, cool tone was somehow more terrifying than if she had straight-up screamed. "I always wondered what would happen to people who died in Makai…"

**– TOUHOU –**

_1 hour, 1 minute, 58 seconds…_

Wildcard stiffened. Goukei noticed it from the corner of his eye and glanced up. "Alright, what happened this time?" His tone made it clear this was not an uncommon occurrence.

"The usurper, she…" Wildcard said in English as she laid her cards down and looked around. She muttered a spell and waited. After about a half minute of silence, she just sighed. "She's playing more games. _Again._" Then she pushed a small pile of chips forward. "Raise twenty thousand."

"Call." Goukei brought out the same amount, also speaking in English, though it was lilted with a classic American accent. "Where is she?"

"The outside world."

The oni looked up, a crazed look on his face. _"Where!?"_

She dealt the third card. "No. Hold."

"Look, this is pretty much me or Death that goes after her. And if _he _goes, there's going to be a whole lot of collateral damage." He glanced at his cards one last time. "Raise fifty thousand."

She looked him in the eye. "Bluffer. Besides, it's likely even Death would have trouble. None of you except for _maybe _Shiki could possibly hold your own against her."

Goukei shrugged. "Your loss. But you're avoiding the critical point; could _you _defeat her?"

Wildcard stared at him blankly. "Have you lost your mind? Of course I could."

"Then why don't you?"

The masked woman stared into the distance. "Hmm… It's not a question of _could_ I, but _should _I?" She laid out her cards.

Goukei threw down his triumphantly. "Hah! I win–"

Wildcard stopped his hands just short of raking in the cash. "No. By the way, the next Jesus is back."

"Is he an angry Jesus or friendly Jesus?" The ex-shinigami stared at the cards of himself and his opponent intently. Eyes widening, he slammed a fist against the toppled tree the cards were on hard enough to crack it clean in half. _"FUCK!"_

"Quite." The scattered cards sank into the soil, a fresh deck appearing seconds later at her feet. "It's Myouren. What do you expect?"

"Haha – bullshit." With minimal effort, he shoved a new tree between them and waited as the next set of cards was dealt out. "There's no way Myouren came back – this is a tarot, Wildcard."

"My bad," she muttered as she took the offending tarot card back, replacing it with a playing card. "And I assure you, he's back."

"… For real?"

"Yes."

"Are you pulling my leg again?" He stared at her doubtfully. "Last time, you literally hacked off my leg. Hold."

"You grew it back. And no, I'm not. Raise a thousand."

"Huh." Goukei glanced at his cards again. "You'd think Death would have noticed someone like him slipping away when he wasn't looking. His power trail isn't exactly unreadable. Fold."

"That was fast." Even so, Wildcard quickly shuffled the cards and dealt them back out. "And he was on another 'vacation' at the time. You'd think his master would learn to fight a clan whose favourite weapon is a leather whip."

"Wait, when was this?" Goukei held back his laughter. "Is Death's master some S&M freak?"

Wildcard cringed slightly. "Of course not. Nonetheless, when he came back, he wasn't exactly inclined to go chase after him."

"Why not? Raise fifteen thousand."

"He was revived by an interesting set of circumstances," she explained. "Partly due to faith his little sister gathered, partly due to his own sheer power, partly due to – well." She cast a look around briefly before muttering something in yet another language.

Goukei narrowed his eyes. "You're fucking kidding me."

"I'm not." She was back to speaking English. "I didn't think it was possible from beyond the grave, either. Brother should've told me…"

"Big brother is watching," Goukei joked.

"He actually is. Hold."

"But really, has he just been lazing around, all day, every day, for – how long _has_ it been since he's done something? Two thousand years?" He plucked a card off the top of the deck and put it down.

"You're just asking for an old-fashioned smiting now."

"Meh, I could care less. All in."

Wildcard glanced at him briefly before turning her attention to the cards laid out on the table. "Well, when Judgement Day rolls around, he won't be happy with you. _Fold_." With that, she put down her cards and got up.

" Fold? That's new – oi, where ya going?"

"As much fun as playing poker with you is, I have some pressing matters to attend to," said Wildcard, once more in Japanese. "By the way, she'll appear in New York. I won't come back this time."

Goukei shrugged impassively before responding in kind. "I could care less. Be seeing ya another time?"

"Yes."

"Try to cut down on the flashy entrances, though. We have limited run time."

Wildcard paused. "I'll think about it."

And then she was gone again. Goukei got up as well, stretching. "… She left her cards. Guess I'll take them." But as he reached down for them, he paused. "Wait a second; she left the winnings here, too. Even the yen she wouldn't have lost. But why would she…" His jaw dropped. "Oh, what the _fuck,_ Wildcard?"

Both her cards were Jokers.

Goukei shifted, his cloak following his movement. Underneath, his hands were balled into fists. "… Just what are you planning this time…?"

**– TOUHOU –**

_56 minutes, 36 seconds…_

A stitched gap appeared, high above Gensokyo. Staggering out of it, Karin sat down on another gap, casting her eye across the land. **"Damn you, Myouren. Damn you to hell and back." **If you were to look closely, you could see the faint haze of smoke rising from her body. **"Holy energy… how does a mere human harness it…?"**

Her eyes tightened. **"No matter. If we cannot kill you ourselves, we'll just have the others kill you." **Her eyes changed, replaced by an endless, pitiless void. Thousands upon thousands of blank eyes stared from within the depths of her pupils, all focused with the same task. **"Watch this, Yakumo. Your precious Gensokyo… I will shatter it."**

Millions of faint eyes began to appear in every tree, every creature, every_thing_, staring back at her. Her hands came up, focused not on breaking their eyes, but a much more abstract eye. At the same time, just as many – no, more – boundaries formed around the youkai legion. Tinged violet, they ran the length of every physical object and then some.

As Karin's hands curled into claws, she murmured, "You know, your spell card rules are so integral to this land, it might as well be the only thing keeping it alive…"

The violet borders ran black.

**"I wonder what happens to Gensokyo if they're gone."**

Her hands clenched.

**_"Kyuu."_**

**– TOUHOU –**

**[Optional: Death Note OST ~ Low of Solipsism II]**

_55 minutes, 51 seconds…_

_SMASH!_

Reimu ignored the breaking of her favourite tea cup. Stunned, she stared at the ground, pupils rapidly dilating. Her breath resumed – and quickened. "The Hakurei Barrier…" She whipped around and looked up –

The youkai legion raised a hand and waved at her, a tiny speck far above the shrine.

_"Damn you!" _Before Reimu could take off, she vanished, leaving the miko to pound a nearby tree in anger. Lowering her fist, she took a quick breath and turned back around. "Shameimaru, I know you're there. Come out."

"Ayaya~" Sure enough, the crow tengu was there, shaking off some leaves as she hopped down from her tree. "I need to get better at–"

"Get Kochiya. The barrier is failing." Reimu was clear – and dangerous.

"The Hakurei Barrier? Oh boy, this is such a scoop–"

_Whap!_

"No one cares about your stupid fish wrapping, Shameimaru!" The shrine maiden gave her a rough push in the direction of the Youkai Mountain. "Tell Kochiya I need to see her here ASAP." She took a step towards the terrified tengu. _"Move!"_

"Y-y-yes sir! I mean, no ma'am. I-I mean–"

_"GET GOING!"_

"Eep!"

As Aya flew off at breakneck speed, Reimu didn't even bother to watch. The miko was already heading back to her shrine. With a flurry of charms, her floor was suddenly gone, revealing a stairway leading underground. Taking the steps four at a time, she leapt to the bottom quickly and raced down the damp, dark hall. It was barely tall or wide enough to accommodate her, scooped clean out of the earth hastily.

Reaching the end, she found a wall plastered with so many sealing charms it was impossible to see what the wall was actually made of. Not even caring, she brought up a hand and tore them off by the handfuls until she could see the wooden walls. A single well-aimed kick saw the wall effortlessly shattered as Reimu stalked into the darkened room. "Mima, the Great Hakurei Barrier is falling apart. I need you to–" Then her eyes widened and she swore at the top of her lungs.

The room was empty.

**– TOUHOU –**

_56 minutes, 3 seconds…_

"Keep moving, Yukari-sama. Please."

"Haa… Haa…"

"Yukari-sama!"

_Whump._

Ran knelt down, picking her master up off the ground. "Please, Yukari-sama, we have to get you out of here."

"… girl…" Yukari breathed.

Ran halted. She cast a furtive glance around. All the gap eyes were carefully averting their gaze. One of them glanced back, but when it saw Ran was looking at it, it quickly looked away again. The dimensions around the two of them shifted, reality rippling like water. The long hallway they were in wavered as the kitsune took another step, now replaced by a barren wasteland at night – except instead of sky, there was gap. Stars were replaced with eyes.

Ever since Karin's forced takeover of the pocket dimension, things like this had constantly happened. On one hand, it was bad because they didn't know the way out and because Yukari was still too weak to use her powers to escape. On the other hand, it was good because Karin wouldn't be able to find them in the Border Catacombs…

Yukari wasn't looking so well. Her mob cap was missing, her favourite dress torn and ripped in dozens of places, black energy trailing from her like thick smoke. Both the front and back of her dress had a swath torn across it, blood staining the edges – the place she'd been stabbed. Her one visible eye was a dull red, faintly flickering between crimson and gold. The hair on the other side of her face shifted briefly, allowing a glimpse of sinewy, violet strands of flesh where her face should have been. Rather than one eye, three eyes flitted back and forth uneasily.

All of this was lost on Ran as she pulled Yukari a little further along. "Just a little more, Yukari-sama. We're almost in the catacombs. She won't be able to–"

"The girl," Yukari repeated. Another step, and the world twisted again, this time taking on the appearance of an abandoned obsidian castle's halls. "She… spell card… Gensokyo…"

"Yukari-sama, please calm down!" Ran was beginning to panic herself. The gap youkai was beginning to try and fight her grip.

"Need… see Karin…" Yukari pulled herself away and immediately fell to the floor. She shakily got up by leaning on the walls and began to limp back the way they came. "Need… correct… spell barrier…"

"Yukari-sama, _look at me._" Ran spun her master back around and resumed dragging her down the dark halls. "If you go back, she'll kill you. This time for real."

"Spell… card rules…"

The kitsune glanced back. "What?"

"She… removed… spell cards…" Yukari began to try and push away again. "Must see… convince her…"

"Are you delirious?" Ran grabbed her master once more as she made to escape. "Talk to Reimu-san, then! At least that. Just not… her…"

"No… must be… her…" Yukari's struggles weakened. At first Ran thought she had acquiesced – but then the gap youkai collapsed.

"Yukari-sama!" She began to shake her lightly. "Wake up. Wake up!"

**– TOUHOU –**

**It seems like Mannosuke and Marisa are my two most recurring bosses. Well, that's not saying much, but still.**

**No, I didn't forget about Yukarin. She's alive, but...**


	34. Her Hat is Her Friend

**Whew, another chapter done. Here we go...**

**In other news, we've nearly hit 7500 reads! Thank you to everyone who's been reading this, and a very big thanks to Core-X, who helped me with inspiration and plot progression. But... please sir, can I have a review? No, seriously. Reviews that can help me fix typos, grammar, plot holes, and other things like that. Even just a little 'Good job' goes a long way. Please, please review!**

**– TOUHOU –**

_1 hour, 1 minute, 58 seconds…_

"One on one." Marisa's Mini-Hakkero came up, already glowing with a multitude of colours.

"If you insist." Darius raised his revolver, a golden light generating within the muzzle.

"But that's not–" Byakuren stepped forward, but stopped when Myouren stepped in front of her and shook his head.

"Nee-san, step back. This isn't your fight."

The magician frowned, but nodded and backed away.

"No holds barred," said the witch.

A brief smile played across Darius' lips. "Your funeral."

"We'll see about that." Marisa raised a Mini-Hakkero a little higher. "Just give me a reason to blast you. Another one, that is."

"How's this?" Darius pointed the gun directly into her face and fired.

_"Master Spark!" _Sure enough, there was Marisa's infamous Spark.

_"Acerbatus!" _Darius shouted as he thrust his hand forward. Rather than generating in his gun, the curse magic manifested in his hands, a barrier to hold off the powerful laser. As soon as it generated, it rapidly began to dissipate, falling apart under the witch's attack, but it did its job. Both attacks cancelled each other out.

Marisa quickly pocketed the tiny reactor and stepped forward, hand glowing as she drew it back. A quick snap forward, a burst of blue light, and the gunslinger was sent flying, slamming into the wall. He threw out his arms as he fell, getting up quickly and leaping to the side to avoid a hail of green magic bolts. Arm snapping up, he fired off a fast-moving white bullet at her. It didn't do much, but it was enough to stagger her, if only briefly.

Before he could seize on his opportunity, however, Marisa instead went for him, slamming the tip of her broom into his stomach. The end of it began to glow again. "Oh, _fu_–"

A massive blue bullet appeared and instantly exploded, blasting him away again. Marisa wasn't holding back. If he held back knowing that, he'd probably die. With this in mind, Darius brought his revolver spinning in hand, a burst of black and white lanced out, and he brought the sword up and around, hacking through Marisa's broom in a single swipe. Her shocked expression was quickly swapped out for a much more pained expression as the gunslinger warped his sword back into a gun and fired at point-blank range.

"Gah!" Marisa backed away, tossing a salvo of green bolts to keep him at distance. She massaged the side of her face for a moment before recovering.

"Look Marisa, we didn't attack Mima!" Darius tried to reason with her.

"Oh yeah? Then what was it?" Marisa demanded. "You gonna feed me some crap about an evil gap monster coming in, taking off Shinki's head because she felt like it, tossed Mima through a wall, and then left!?"

"Um…" Actually, that was _exactly _what happened. However, it didn't seem Marisa would be interested in hearing that.

Marisa reached into another pocket. "By the way, I found another interesting user for mushrooms. Wanna know what it's called?"

"No, not really." Darius raised the revolver again, but before he could fire, Marisa brought out a small jar and flung it at him. On instinct, he pointed the gun at it instead and fired.

That was a mistake.

"Well, it's called 'I-found-incendiary-mushrooms-and-made-a-firebomb- out-of-them'!" Marisa carried on anyways.

And it was. When the jar exploded, what looked to be some sort of gas (spores?) rained out, coming to settle at his feet, but quickly ignited. The fire spread quickly, leaping onto his clothes, onto the walls, onto _everything_. Within seconds, the room was ablaze.

"Get out!" The gunslinger shouted to the two monks who were still in the room. They ran for the door. Byakuren stopped for a moment to glance back, but Myouren tugged her along.

"Now, let's try this again, huh?" Marisa tossed aside her now useless broom and simply floated into the air of her own accord.

"Agreed." Darius reached into his pocket – and realized his spell cards weren't there. And if his spell cards weren't there… he couldn't use his flight spell. "Oh, _balls._"

**– TOUHOU –**

_55 minutes, 3 seconds…_

Goukei drove his scythe's blade into the earth, pulling it back out blood-free. "Well, shit. Now it's covered in dirt." As he marched to the nearby river, he kindly ignored the still-moving youkai staked to the nearby tree with a broken bottle. Dipping the scythe into the river and shaking it a little, he sighed. "What happened to those spell card things, anyway? One second everything's A-OK, the next second youkai are whooping about how they can eat humans again or something." He looked up as he heard something that sounded like a kettle on high boil. "What the…?"

A crow tengu promptly flew over him at what seemed to be a million miles an hour. "HeythererandomguyhowyoudoingI'mgoingtoYoukaiMount ainseeyoubye!"

Then she zipped off into the distance at incredible speed. Goukei slowly raised an eyebrow. "I would blame that on being drunk, but I'm not. Maybe I should be, just to forget that." That was when he began to hear the growling. "Oh. Another one. What do ya want?"

This youkai seemed to be more wolfish than humanoid. Definitely a feral one. The ex-shinigami rolled his eye. "Before ya try to attack me, go take a look at what happened to the other one. He's a little down the road behind me, look for the youkai with a bottle in its stomach."

Snarl.

Goukei tapped his foot. "Then again, I suppose it isn't so bad without spell card rules. Pity cleaning Shinokama takes so long to do properly." He propped himself up with his scythe and ran a hand along the handle, watching the blade burst into flame. "Man, I usually love fighting, but all of ya are so damn weak! Someone fight me, someone _good!_"

Naturally, the wolf youkai did not take kindly to this. Baring its teeth, he raised his head and howled. On its cue, more youkai began to appear, glowing red eyes staring at the oni.

"Well, I'm an idiot." Goukei tapped a finger on the handle of his scythe. The second blade burst out, also wreathed in hellfire. "Wolves always hunt in packs. Good for me – I get more target practice. Pity for all of you, though. Really though, can any of you put up a fight alo–"

The wolves struck.

**– TOUHOU –**

_54 minutes, 54 seconds…_

_Whirrrrrrr!_

_Clank! Clank! Clank!_

_BANG!_

_Whoosh…_

_Whump._

A shady figure slowly got to her feet, a wrench in her hands. Tossing it aside, a manic grin came over her face as she ran a hand along her newest creation. "Finally, it's done… Ehehehe~"

It was a dark room, the lights intentionally almost entirely blocked, allowing only the slightest amount of detail to be seen. Large and spacious, almost a hundred feet cubed, the only source of proper lighting was the tiny set of doors on the far side of the room from the girl. She marched to a set of ladders, barely visible in the near-darkness. Climbing up it, she constantly giggled to herself in a disturbing manner as she neared the top of her creation. Forcing open a hatch, her demented dark blue eyes staring at it. "It's beautiful…"

_"Sanae."_

"Eek!" The wind priestess shot a mile into the air as if she'd been electrocuted. Around her, the lights came on, revealing metallic walls and ceiling, with a cement flooring. "Kanako-sama, this… this, er…"

The war goddess facepalmed. "Sanae, are you trying to take the rebuilt Hisoutensoku for a joyride _again?_"

"But look at it!" Sanae protested as she slid down the ladder to meet with her goddess again. "It's a super robot! _A super robot! _How could I _not _try driving it!?"

"… Good point," conceded Kanako. "But that's not important. Aya-san came by, and… well, you'd best come out, too. You haven't seen sunlight in months…"

"NOOOOOOO!" Sanae shrieked as Kanako dragged her up the stairs. "The sun! It _burns!_"

"Oh, get over it!" The goddess snapped. "This is important! The spell card rules are gone!" The wind priestess froze. "… Sanae?"

"Does this mean I can exterminate youkai?"

Kanako sighed. Apparently, she went through this multiple times a week. "_No,_ Sanae, an incident is not synonymous with a killing spree."

"I meant without spell cards. Can I actually… like, _kill _kill them?"

The war goddess sighed again, this time more heavily. She already knew where this was going. She reluctantly muttered, "Yes…"

`Sanae, before you run off to go kill things, you need to go to the Hakurei Shrine. Reimu-san needs to talk to you… The tengu said she was being serious." She looked her shrine maiden in the eye. "And I'm talking catastrophe-level serious."

Sanae laughed uneasily. "Wait, the last time that happened…"

Kanako flapped an arm at her. "Just get going and don't kill everything en route."

"Okay!" Sanae flew up to one of her goddess' faith pillars and waited. "Um, Kanako-sama."

"Oh, right." Kanako raised her arm and threw it out towards the Hakurei Shrine. Instantly, the Onbashira followed her movement, plucking itself out of the ground and flying through the air towards the miko's home. A thought suddenly came to her as soon as it took off. "Wait, the reason Reimu-san didn't want us doing that was…!"

_CRASH!_

"Auu~" Sanae stumbled out of the wreckage that was once the Hakurei Shrine, clutching her head as she woozily stumbled around. "Mommy, can I have a guncannon for Christmas…?"

Reimu watched her stonily for about a minute before marching over and whacking her upside the head. "Sanae, focus."

The wind priestess shook her head quickly. "Alright, better. What is it?"

The miko pointed behind her destroyed shrine. "A few people went into Makai to retrieve an artifact from it. I don't care how much headway they've made, _get them out of there._"

Sanae cringed under Reimu's menacing glare. "B-but what's g-going on with the Hakurei Barrier?"

"The new gap youkai's shoved her head so far up her ass that she can smell what she had for breakfast this morning," grumbled Reimu. "Now get going and you better be back in an hour."

**– TOUHOU –**

_54 minutes, 54 seconds…_

The heat was tremendous. Flames licked the back of Darius' coat as he took a wary step back from the airborne Marisa.

"What's your problem?" The witch taunted him as she flew by. A small bomb flew into the air, forcing him to jump over an open flame or be forcefully blasted into a wall again. Even so, he only got so much distance from it before it detonated, tossing him to the ground anyways. "Can't fly, da ze?"

"You tell me!" Darius jumped back onto his two feet and began to run, a laser carving a trench into the ground right behind him. Without stopping, he leapt for the wall, kicking back off of it – and biting back a curse as the laser clipped his back. Patting down the fires on his coat, he felt his back gingerly. It wasn't badly hurt – just a little burnt.

"Geez, you're sloppy. Guess I'll just put you outta your misery, ze." Marisa flew down to him, Mini-Hakkero in hand. _"Master Spark!"_

No time to dodge, the gunslinger instead brought his leg up, jolting the witch's hand and pointing the reactor into the air, discharging the laser harmlessly. He caught a glimpse of her outraged expression before drawing back and slamming her in the stomach with his elbow. "That's for earlier."

Marisa backed away, grabbing another jar and throwing it her feet to stop him from advancing. Darius swore under his breath. Marisa had the upper hand and she knew it – flight and fire. But she didn't have any place to quite take a rest either, as she learned when a black bullet slammed into her face and exploded, throwing her to the ground. The fire scalded her and caused her to leap back up. He thought briefly of trying to reason with her again, but decided against it.

No, if he wanted to get through to her, he'd need a different tactic…

He realized Marisa's witch hat had fallen off at some point. She came to the same conclusion at the same time.

Both pairs of eyes turned to see the hat, precariously balanced on a broken marble pillar. Two voices yelled out at the same time.

_"MINE!"_

Marisa began to fly – but instantly reeled as a white bolt flashed out from Darius' revolver, batting her out of the air. The gunslinger wasn't about to let her simply take the easy option. Keeping the revolver steady as he ran, Darius leapt onto the burning mahogany table, and from there to the pile of collapsed pillars. Marisa's hat flopped to the side in the intense heat.

Marisa wanted it back because it was her hat. Darius wanted it because it would get him leverage against her.

He leapt – flames hungrily snapping at his shoes – and hit the steep incline of the pillar mountain, hands scrabbling for purchase. They found it. He began to put one hand over the other, fire slowly following him up–

_BOOM!_

Darius had reached for another jutting pillar… but found nothing. Marisa had blasted it away before he could grab it. Overbalanced, he began to fall again as Marisa floated past him, sticking out her tongue. Gritting his teeth, his hand snapped up and seized her ankle just before he fell into the fire. The sudden increase in weight pulled both of them down several feet. "What – hey! Get off! No freeloaders!"

The gunslinger swapped over to her other ankle as a green bolt fired mere inches past his face, instead impacting his shoulder and jolting that hand loose. This wasn't a good idea. Instead, he swung himself up and around, back onto the marble pile of pillars. Carefully securing himself in place, he pointed the gun up at Marisa.

Her hands were inches from the hat–

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Marisa fell, the sharpshooter following her with a critical eye. Spinning the revolver in hand, he fired a slow-moving flurry of dark bullets to slow her down and holstered the gun, climbing the pillars again. Sharp, jagged edges bit into his hands as he moved, but he ignored them. Marisa's hat was on the only vertical pillar in the stack, perched on one of its broken spikes. With a burst of effort, he jumped up to it, reaching for the hat. Just a little… closer…!

_"Master Spark!"_

Darius' eyes widened as he heard her cry. There was no way – she'd never risk her precious hat!

Then he looked down and realized her target had never been him.

"Damn you, _Marisa!"_ The mountain of pillars had been disintegrated by the attack, and now everything atop it fell. Darius… and the hat.

"Get over here!" Marisa zipped past him as he fell, reaching for the hat. "You can't stop me now, Darius! Ha _HA!_"

_"Acerbatus!"_

The dirty gold skull exploded outwards, slamming directly into Marisa and discharging several thousand volts of electricity into her. Moments later, it exploded, sending her tumbling through the air. The hat continued its fall downwards.

Darius slammed against the floor painfully. He was pretty sure he heard something crack, but that wasn't important. He watched the hat drift down slowly – right onto one of the decorative torch holders, now extinguished during the fight. Twenty feet above the ground. The two exchanged glances again.

_"MINE!"_

The both of them sprang back up and began to run for it, flames at their heels. Both of them reached the hat at the same time. Marisa tried to skirt around Darius for her hat – but he slid into her way again. Both of them lunged forward, hands outstretched to strangle the other. Two sets of hands collided, the both of them trying to step towards the other to gain the upper hand. Around them, more and more of Pandaemonium burned, a support beam slamming down mere feet away from them. Their stalemate broke; the both of them staggered away as the shockwaves travelled through the floor. Darius shot a last black bullet at Marisa and spun the revolver in hand, the monochrome blade forming again as he swung horizontally.

Marisa blasted his bullet out of the way with her own laser and ducked under the gunslinger's swipe. Darius growled as he turned his strike into a backswing, ready to attack again. He glanced at Marisa–

To see a pair of bloomers sailing at his face?

_WHAM!_

The gunslinger blinked as he realized he was upside down in the wall. Pulling himself out, he saw Marisa picking up his sword, giving it an experimental swing. "… Fuck."

He leapt to the side as Marisa stabbed with it, driving it into the wall up to the hilt. Marisa tore it out of the wall furiously, spinning back around to him. She brought it over her head in two hands, ready to cleave him in half–

Darius grinned evilly as he brought up his hand, the witch hat clutched tightly in it as he placed it directly over a fire. "Try anything, and the hat gets it."

**– TOUHOU –**

**YEAH I WENT THERE THE HAT IS A HOSTAGE**

**Also, anyone who played the fighting games will understand Marisa's 'ass attack'. That thing does so much damage and has so much range it's not even funny.**


	35. Not Very Hollow

**Yeah, got a major-length chapter out! Finally breaking the 4000 word line again after so many chapters! That makes me happy.**

**No PM showed up today. To the story!**

**– TOUHOU –**

_48 minutes, 31 seconds…_

Marisa's eyes widened, but she remained where she stood, not daring to bring the sword down. "You wouldn't dare…!"

"My sword," panted Darius. "Throw it to the ground." When she hesitated, he waved the hat around a little. "Well?"

She flinched. "Alright, alright! Just don't hurt him."

As soon as she let go of it, the sword morphed, landing at the gunslinger's feet as a revolver once more. Without taking his eyes off of Marisa, he slowly scooped it up and pointed it at her. The growing heat at his back made it clear he didn't have long before the fire caught up to them. "Get moving, Marisa. Up and out of the room if you want your hat back."

She ground her teeth in frustration – and listened, floating a foot off the ground and gliding backwards to the door. Darius followed behind her, carefully picking his way through the flames. His eyes flickered away from both the witch and her hat as an open flame snapped at his coat again–

Marisa lunged.

The sharpshooter whirled back around, but it was too late. The witch slammed into him at full force, throwing him to the ground, Marisa stamping on his wrist and tugging free her witch's hat. "Finally, ze!"

Darius struggled under her, trying to break his wrist free. Finally tiring of it, he simply pointed the revolver at her again. "Get _off_ of me!"

She flew into the air and backed away – into the inferno. The gunslinger massaged his wrist briefly before slowly stepping back down the thankfully not-burning hallway. Just because she felt like fighting didn't quite mean he did. He cast his eye around. Where were Myouren and Byakuren? He could've sworn they–

"Keep your head in the game, or you might lose it! _FINAL SPARK!"_

The gunslinger turned back, cursing himself mentally for slipping up like that. He fumbled for the revolver, but it was too late. The massive beam of love magic struck him, picking him up like a feather and flinging him along the length of the hallway with it, slamming against the wall with bone-breaking force. He fell to the ground as it tapered off, smoke rising from his barely moving body.

Marisa flew to him quickly. "Oh, too bad, ze. You had the game in the palm of your hand, but you choked! Too bad."

_'Makai's air is not air.' _A memory of something someone else had said bubbled up in his mind as he watched Marisa take his gun again, pointing it at him. '_It is a toxic miasma. Simply breathing it is enough to kill almost anything in just two hours.'_

"You lost this one." Marisa wasn't just looking to beat him – she was trying to _kill_ him. A look of surprise came over her face as a white bolt came out of the muzzle, burning a small hole next to his head. "Oh, so that's how it works, ze!"

_'However, in exchange for sapping your life away…_

_'It is a devastating wellspring of magic. Demons are in the air. Treat them well, and they will treat you well._

_'Use this to your advantage as much as possible… Cagnes.'_

The revolver steadied itself, now pointed squarely into his face.

"Lights out."

**– TOUHOU –**

_Unknown_

_"Impressive. I didn't think you were still able to enter his dream world, Sukima."_

"I didn't think you were still alive." Yukari glared at the living weapon pointedly. "I mean, look at all the plot progression that happened while you were gone!"

_"Tsk. Touché."_ Alexa seemed to be the same as ever. _"Your copycat got to me."_

"Yes, I know." The gap youkai sighed and shifted from sitting on her sofa into lying on it.

_"You're unconscious and you still only think of sleeping? Really?"_

"It's been a long day," sighed Yukari. She glanced up, a smirk on her lips. "We're not alone."

Alexa's eye twitched. _"… He's back, isn't he?"_

"Him… and his counterpart. Be a dear and wake him up, will you?"

_"I'd rather not…" _Even so, Alexa turned around and gave the unmoving Darius a sharp kick in the side.

"OW!" He jolted upright, rubbing his side. "You don't need to do that every time you… wait, Alexa, _you're back?"_

_"I was never really gone." _Alexa pulled him to his feet. _"I just never quite had the power to communicate with you. If I _was _gone, you'd probably be dead."_ She looked at something in the inky black sky. _"Which seems to be about one inch away from happening right now, actually."_

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like!" Yukari flopped over on the sofa. "You were beat, and Marisa's about to kill you. Cheers!"

"So… all this just ends with me dying?" Darius sat down on the surface of the water, watching it ripple. "It's all over now?"

A faint smile came to the living weapon. _"Not quite."_

He glanced up. "You said it yourself! Marisa has the gun, the last thing I remember is her pointing it at my face, how does this _not _kill me?"

Alexa sighed and turned back to Yukari. The gap youkai nodded.

_KICK!_

"Again? Seriously!?"

_"That was to snap you out of your pre-mortem depression,"_ she quipped. _"You're still not dead – not yet. Besides, youkai have a far tougher body structure than humans."_

"Still a baby youkai…"

_"Even so, you do have latent powers that come with your job description." _Alexa looked at the gap youkai again. _"You've rested long enough. Do you mind getting back in your own body? Karin's probably gonna find you if you muck around here any longer."_

Yukari shrugged. "Good point. Guess I'll be off now." As she turned to leave, she glanced back. "Oh, and remember what we discussed."

_"I will." _When she was sure Yukari was gone, she faced Darius again. _"Now, where were we?"_

"Latent powers that come with my job description…?"

_"Right, right."_ Alexa wrung her hands, trying to come up with an explanation. _"Well, you're a yin-yang youkai, right? Power to manipulate balance and all that good stuff?"_

The gunslinger raised an eyebrow. Where was this going? "Um, yes…?"

_"Well, the ideal situation would be that this youkai is a perfect mix of good and evil, order and chaos. The problem is, I don't think you're quite at that level–"_

"Gee, ya _think?_"

She ignored him. _"So instead, good and evil would have to be separated and slowly balanced out, and… well, I think it's best if I just introduced you to him." _She waved a hand to the sky. _"You can come out now."_

An unnatural chill swept over Darius as he felt another set of eyes open. "Alexa, what the hell is in there?"

_"You'd think an evil spirit like me would come back quickly after being 'killed', wouldn't you?" _She gestured back to the sky. _"Well, _this _guy thought it'd be funny to slow me down."_

"Kekeke… that's hardly nice, you know." The newcomer stepped into the light of the white ocean, walking on the air as if it were a set of stairs, hands in pockets.

Darius' eyes slowly went wide. "Holy hell, you look…"

"Exactly like you? Well, what would you expect?" And indeed, he _did_ look just like Darius – except for a complete colour reversal. Whereas Darius wore a dark trench coat, he wore a white coat, otherwise identical – right down to the number of rips and tears on the bottom. The rip in his jeans was on the opposite leg. His shirt was still a dark shade of grey, one of the few things that were exactly the same between them. Likewise could be said for the jeans. But even his shoes were a shiny white. The only things they had in common were the colour of their hair and skin; midnight black and almost pale. Darius' uneasy brown eyes were met with calm red eyes brimming with sheer arrogance and dominance.

"Alexa." Darius took a step closer to the living weapon. "Who _is _this guy?"

_"The yang to your yin. The red oni to your blue oni. He calls himself–"_

"The Damning Demon," he finished with a small laugh. "Damion Loyhrs."

"I thought you were my counterpart." The gunslinger glanced at Alexa.

She simply shrugged and shook her head. _"I'm an outside force, technically. One way or another, you two are stuck together. Two sides of the same coin."_

"I don't understand how this helps when _I'm still dying out there!"_ The gunslinger gestured to the side in a clear representation of outside. The realization hit him. "… You're not after my body, are you?"

"What do you think I am? Hollow Ichigo?" Damion snorted. "As if. I'd love taking control of this sorry excuse of a body, but the powers that be would whip me raw for trying. Like it or not, we're stuck together. I can't kill you, you can't kill me."

Darius raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think of that…"

"No shit, Sherlock." The gunslinger really wanted to just reach up and wipe that shit-eating grin off his counterpart's face. "Now, not a second has passed in reality. You'd best get back to your own body. Try not to die."

_"We'll support you from in here."_ Alexa glared at Damion. _"Right_, Damion_?"_

He rolled his eyes. "Gah, fine, whatever. One way or another, I suppose it's best to keep you alive. But in all seriousness." Damion's smile slipped as he looked Darius dead in the eye. "Die, and I swear to God, I will kick your ass into next Tuesday. I've got you in _twenty years'_ worth of body-control debt, and soon, your life will be in the mix too. And trust me, one day, I'm going to collect."

**– TOUHOU –**

_48 minutes, 19 seconds…_

Marisa fired–

Darius _moved._

"What the hell!?" The witch backed away as the gunslinger got to his feet slowly. "I thought you were done for, ze!"

He didn't respond to her. He muttered, "Alexa, Damion, you there?"

_Right here as always, Darius-sama._

_If I must. Whaddya need?_

"Nice to have you back with us, Lexa." Darius glanced at the revolver in Marisa's hands. "Any way to get that back?"

The living weapon pondered the question. _I don't think so. You'll have to wrestle it free from her._

_I think I can lend a hand here – kinda literally, _Damion spoke up.

Darius narrowed his eyes as he watched Marisa do the same; the standoff would only last so long. "What are you talking about?"

_Like I said, 'Sharing Bodies with Others 101': The one not in total control still has limited control. Alexa here is a weapon, right? Starts off as a normal gun and merged with your soul and another's to make her._

"Get to the point." Marisa was getting impatient at the standoff. She'd attack any second now…

A heavy mental sigh from Damion's little section of his mind. _I can run that in reverse. We already have the ingredients; the body, the souls, and the catalyst. Maybe I should just show you… _this.

"Alright, if you're not gonna shoot, then I'll move, da ze!" Sure enough, Marisa finally lost patience and swept to the attack. Inside his mind, Darius could hear his counterpart barking orders.

_Alexa! Take control of his reflexives, _now!

_Right, Damion-sama!_

"Damion-_sama?_" Darius ducked under Marisa's first swipe and sidestepped to come up behind her.

_He's a part of you, so he's still technically my master… _Alexa sounded a little sheepish.

_That's not important._ The gunslinger could just _hear_ Damion's aggravating grin. He only saw it once and it was already grating on his nerves. _Watch this, kiddo. Alexa, reflex control to me!_

Suddenly, the gunslinger found his body outside of his own control and charging headlong at Marisa. "Whoa, what the – I thought you said you couldn't control me!"

_Ha! I can't, but Alexa can!_

_I'm only agreeing because I don't see another option…_

_As if! Alright, watch and _learn_, Darius! _This_ is how you weaponize something!_

"Your timing's different," growled Marisa as she glanced past one of Darius' strikes.

"Yeah, thanks to a split-second revelation." Even though he was just along for the ride, the gunslinger threw the words out anyways. He watched as body moved of its own volition, hand sweeping down to grab a fistful of his own trench coat. Where his hand touched it, a wave of colour appeared, bleeding into the black threads and dying them pure white. Swinging it around, he realized the white wasn't just colour – it was literally solidified light.

Damion laughed. _Let's blow this popsicle stand!_

The longcoat _extended_, a flat wave of light shooting outwards with the movement of the gunslinger's hand, rapidly shooting out as a solid sheet of white and colliding with the walls. Marisa flew into the air, away from the blanket of death below her. "Geez, whenever I think I have you beat, you pull a new trick, ze!"

Darius didn't respond, feeling a pulse of magic run through his hand and into the coat, the extensions cracking like brittle glass – and exploding, fragmenting into hundreds of pieces. Each glowing shard began to glow even brighter before they too shattered, each one firing off a laser in a random direction. The wide-spread assault left minimal room for Marisa to dodge, one of them finally shooting her out of the air and bringing her crashing to the ground.

As the longcoat fell back to his side, Darius muttered, "What the hell was that?"

_Dimensional Light Sweep,_ explained Damion. _You specialize in dark and white danmaku, so I figured I might as well go crazy with it. Naturally, it'd be stronger if I condensed it into a focused laser, but…_

_The magic used to alter your coat also enhances it,_ Alexa chose to add in. _Simply swing it around, give it a thought, watch it block bullets, no problem!_

_Haha. Yeah. Yeah… good luck getting the magic energy needed to do that, because seriously, that thing takes a lot of magic to fuel it. _Damion hesitated. _Then again, we're in Makai, so I'll go wild. You just focus on killing things; I'll keep your body safe._

"Good to know…" The sharpshooter watched his trench coat return to its normal black colour, though a faint rippling effect still seemed to reverberate through it even when he wasn't moving. How odd.

A sound of crumbling rocks reminded him Marisa wasn't quite down for the count.

"I'm not gonna ask _how…_ I'm not gonna ask _what…_ I'm just gonna ask you if can _just die!"_ Marisa reached for her Mini-Hakkero, but let the reactor fall back into her dress on second thought. "No, no… I'll just beat the crap out of you till I get bored. Alright? _Alright."_

Darius nodded grimly. "Round two it is."

_The wheel of fate is turning…_ Damion muttered. _Heaven or hell?_

Alexa caught on.

_… Let's rock._

**[Darius and Damion: Megaman Zero ~ Cannonball, Direct Rip]**

Darius felt Damion take control for an instant again, the demonic gunslinger sweeping forward towards the witch. Marisa brought around the revolver, planning to fire it into his face – but he ducked just before she pulled the trigger, bullet sailing just over his head. The longcoat on his back glowed white again, and he brought it upwards, driving home both a devastating uppercut and the blast of white magic.

_"How's that for a Shoryuken?"_ Darius smirked. Then he made for a double take. "Wait – I didn't say that!"

_Sorry, personality bleeds over sometimes. Ignore it – incoming!_

Startled back into the game by Damion's warning shout, the gunslinger tried to move – but was hit by Marisa's green bolt. She lowered her hand, and she looked _pissed._

"That is it! You are going to beg me for death when this is over!"

_Looks like this is just a straight-up throw-down in-your-face war you've got on your hands._ Damion was suddenly surging up to the front of Darius' mind. _My favourite kind of fight!_

Marisa shot off, hand glowing. Damion picked apart the attack quickly. _Throwing a left jab – sidestep, left._ Darius followed his instructions, watching the attack sail by. Raising a foot, he struck Marisa in the stomach once and wrestled the revolver free of her hands. The witch recovered quickly and got back up, swinging for another attack. _Feint with her right! Let yourself into the attack!_

"That's suicide…!" But he did it anyways – and watched Marisa pull the punch at the last second, a look of shock on her face as she realized too late what had happened. Even so, he pointed the revolver into her face at point-blank and yelled, _"Acerbatus!"_

The dirty gold skull appeared once again, but instead of expanding, simply exploded still inside of the gun's chamber, sending both combatants biting the dirt.

_Ouch… even I felt that._

_I _actually_ felt that!_ Alexa's tone was indignant.

_Whatever. Darius, eyes on the prize! She – oh shit, Master Spark time!_

The gunslinger's eyes widened. He glanced left and right and spotted a side chamber in the hallway they were fighting in. He ran for it, just as he heard Marisa yell behind him. _"Master Spark!"_

The love-coloured magic blew past him, thankfully decimating nothing important to his bodily functions. Speaking of which, he was beginning to realize Marisa's earlier attacks were taking their toll. At least it meant Marisa must be feeling the hurt, too.

Damion seemed to have similar ideas. _She can't be feeling well after firing that many Sparks. Come on, she's down! Finish her!_

"You're a terrible person," said Darius as he ran back into the open, revolver in hand. Instantly, Marisa leapt for him, having apparently planned a sneak attack around the corner. She was only a foot away; no time to react–

_You, my friend, are fucking terrible in close combat! Lemme at the reins!_

And just like that, the sharpshooter found his body moving on its own again. Reaching up at inhuman speed, his hand clamped down around Marisa's wrist as he let himself drop to the ground, pulling the witch down with him – except she was left with a faceful of marble tile. Rolling away quickly, Damion's presence faded somewhat, the gunslinger back in control.

"How do you keep doing that?" He hissed to himself.

Damion chuckled. _When I take your body, I'd rather it wasn't damaged goods._

"The innuendos… they're everywhere…" Shaking it off, he spun Alexa in his hands, the black and white blade springing out at his side. Marisa got to her feet shakily, a hand reaching into her pocket. Then, moving at surprising speed, she turned and threw a jar into Darius' face.

It shattered, opening tiny nicks and scratches in his face, but that was minor compared to the actual effect. Spores sprayed out, a single spark caused by the breaking pot making it all ignite – his face still in the midst of it.

_Ow! Oh, fuck, that hurts! _It seemed Damion wasn't spared the pain, either.

_You two are one. What did you think would happen?_

Darius fell out of the fire, his face an unhealthy shade of red. Putting out the flames in his hair, he stared down Marisa. "Alright, that was not funny."

Sword at his side, he charged again, Marisa stepping forward to meet him. Sword met hand, and it was a draw, Marisa's hands cloaked in blue magic. Darius growled and let up, foot swinging out to connect with Marisa's ribcage. However, she saw the attack coming and twisted out of the way, hand slamming against his chest. A burst of magic staggered him, and a follow-up to the face sent him tumbling again. Marisa pressed her advantage–

_BANG!_

Darius lowered the smoking revolver, breathing heavily.

_Wow, I'm all but literally screaming into your brain how to dodge and you still can't do it. Good job, Darius._

"Stuff it, Damion…" But as he brought the gun to bear again, a blast of magic sent it skittering out of his hands across the floor. When he made to go for it, Marisa stepped in front of him. "Oh, so that's how it is."

_A power play for the revolver, huh? _Damion watched everything unfolding from within Darius' mind. _This is gonna be almost as fun as that hat fight. Oi, heads up! High kick, duck it!_

Darius followed suit immediately, sliding under Marisa's sudden attack. Flicking his hand, it burst into dark flame as he brought it around to connect with Marisa's face. Or rather, it should have, until she caught it, black fire scalding her hands as she wrestled him away.

_Damn it! You have to get a little more personal in combat to win it!_

"How do you know so much about fighting, anyways?" Darius swung his head forward, colliding with Marisa in a headbutt and forcing her back. "And in case you didn't notice, I'd rather not be called out as a molester in the middle of a fight!"

He rolled to the side as a green bullet landed where he'd been previously resting, snatching up his gun at the same time. Pointing the revolver at her, his finger squeezed the trigger–

_WHAM!_

He spun in a tight circle from Marisa's killer hook, slumping to the ground, revolver falling next to him. "… ow…"

_One little love tap and you're out! Get yourself together!_ When the gunslinger responded with a half-groan half-curse, Damion sighed. _Alexa, the reflex controls. I need them again._

_Are you sure, Damion-sama?_

_Look at him! He's down _again_! He calls himself a fighter!?_

Marisa watched the gunslinger get up yet again. "_Yareyare, da ze… _What are you even made of, anyways? I knock you down, you get back up! Every time!"

Damion shrugged in his temporary body, eyes still brown, but with a faint shimmer of bright red. _"There's more than one driver for this car."_

"Huh?" The witch seemed confused by Damion's metapho–

_WHAM!_

Marisa spun in a tight circle from Damion's killer hook, slumping to the ground, Mini-Hakkero falling next to him. Unlike the gunslinger, however, she managed to get back up quickly.

_"See that?" _Damion muttered to himself, knowing Darius was listening. _"That's how you react to a knockout punch! You get up and open another can of whoop-ass!"_ As he blocked Marisa's left jab with one hand, used the same hand to redirect her right hook, and then blocked a kick with his right, he cackled. _"I haven't had this much fun in twenty years! WHOO!"_

Jumping back, he pressed himself up against the wall and kicked off of it, sprinting back towards Marisa. With no time to react, she felt a crushing pain in her stomach. _"One…"_

Another uppercut. _"Two…"_

A powerful straight blow to the face. _"THREE!"_

The witch staggered, hand clutching her broken nose, the other throwing a firebomb to the ground. It exploded, a line of fire quickly spreading between them. Pulling out another no-doubt-stolen vial, she dripped it on her nose tenderly and felt her nose push itself back into place. "God, I love Eirin's meds."

_"I'll send you right _to_ God so you can tell him yourself." _Stepping forward, he stepped around Marisa's elbow jab, grabbing the offending joint and twisting it around his own. As the witch's face contorted in pain, he brought his other elbow up and dropped it on her back, slamming her to the ground. He winced a little. _"She's gonna be feeling that tomorrow."_

All that, and the witch still got back up. If nothing else, Damion had to commend her on pure determination. Drawing her Mini-Hakkero, she yelled, _"FINAL SPARK!"_

Once again, the massive beam of multicoloured magic came out. But this time, the one staring it down was different. The demonic gunslinger smiled toothily as he watched the laser bear down on him. _"Alexa, get ready."_

_Understood, Damion-sama._

Grabbing a fistful of longcoat once again, he brought it up and around, the white cloth turning to white light and expanding in front of him. _"Wish I could use this more often, but too bad only Makai gives the magic I need!"_

The sheet of white light was a pure vertical wall as the Final Spark struck home – and slammed across its surface, grating harmlessly across it. Damion watched as the deadly laser was diffused by his shield, then dispersed it, white lasers exploding outwards. Apparently, Marisa forgot all about that second part, as many of the lasers aimed directly towards her hit home. She staggered, and Damion walked up to her. She threw a left hook–

_"Pitiful." _Damion grabbed her fist as it came within an inch of his face, twisting the appendage downwards. An unhealthy crackling sound came out of her wrist. _"Can't you put up a fight?"_

_Damion._

The demonic gunslinger started as he heard Darius' voice in his head. _"Yo! Enjoyed a trip in concussion land?"_

_Seriously. You've had your fun. Cool it._

_"Oh, I dunno, I think I could afford to fuck her over a little more–"_

_Cool. It._

A small sigh as Alexa added her two cents. _You know, we can still drag you back in by force, Damion-sama. I'm sorry, but Darius-sama's orders outrank yours._

_"Tch."_ He glanced back at the struggling witch. She seemed to be back on her feet for a final do-or-die attack. _"Well, alright, but I'm putting her out of her misery first."_

He savoured the fear and terror coming from the gunslinger's end. _Damion, don't you fucking dare–_

Marisa leapt into the air, intent on tearing Damion to shreds.

With an impossible speed and grace, he slid under Marisa, the longcoat glowing once again as he brought it around. The blast of light appeared again, this time striking Marisa. As soon as it did, the rays of light converged on her, effectively turning her into a ball of light so bright it was hard to look at. Damion grinned.

_"Dimensional Light Sweep."_

Then it exploded.

Countless lasers fired, all clumped around Marisa. Each of them struck home, tearing into her brutally as the sphere rapidly dissipated. The witch fell to the ground, twitching slightly.

"My God…" Darius was able to move again, in his own body. He poked the body of Marisa hesitantly. "Is she dead?"

_Haa… I wish._ Damion sounded pretty tired after that last one. It seemed taking over Darius' body did take a lot out of him. _She's a tough one; give it a day, tops, and she oughta be in peak condition._

"Goddammit all, Damion." Glancing around, he watched the fire eat away at another support pillar.

Alexa spoke up. _You'd best get out of there, Darius-sama. Odds are, the others are waiting at the entrance._

"But what about Marisa?" Darius sounded conflicted over the witch. On one hand, she'd tried to kill them. On the other, it just wasn't right to leave her here. Then again, it'd definitely slow them down, bringing her along.

_Bring her along,_ said Alexa.

_Throw her away,_ said Damion.

Both sides fell silent for several seconds before Alexa said something again. _Your call, Darius-sama._

He tapped his foot on the floor for several seconds, internally debating it. "Ah, to hell with it." Slinging the witch over one shoulder, he found she was surprisingly heavy. Even so, he'd made his choice. He wasn't going back on it. He never had.

He never would.

Damion watched from the dream world, his fanged grin slowly slipping away. _You're a right damn man, Darius. _He glanced over at Alexa, who seemed to be lost on thought. The smile came back. _I'll be holding you to your word._

**– TOUHOU –**

**Oh yeah, because every Touhou OC needs a sword, a harem, and an evil monster lurking in their head. Three guesses which one isn't showing up this time.**

**Damion is definitely NOT the typical 'I live in your mind I want your body' type of mind demon. He's always been there with Darius - they're the same person. Darius can't kill Damion, the opposite is true - at least, they'd have to kill themselves to do it. Likewise, if Darius dies, Damion dies, and vice versa. It's an oddball relationship. They're kind-of allies, but not really. After all, when was the last time you saw yin and yang get along?**

**I left an interesting type of hint about how this story wraps up at the end. Who can figure it out? Please R&R!**

**Please.**

**No, seriously, I need help.**


	36. Draw A New Hand

**Aaaaand we're back! Finally!**

**Still no PM... where are you? I need you! *sob***

**Anyways, to Sir Bearsalot: Thank you for the review. It helps me write, knowing people actually like my stuff. XD**

**BokusuKanon: Ey, you're back! I'm sorry, but I'm actually not playing every cliche card in my hand, though that would be pretty fun. Darius has his sword, he has evil mind creatures, but he's not having a harem. Deeeeeefinitely not. Sorry if I stepped on any dreams with that. Also, the mind monsters thing is one of the most frequently used plot devices in Touhou fanfics. Really, almost any of the 100k fics would do. Finally, would you like for me to beta-read your chapters or something? I could lend a hand like that.**

**I played it pretty fast and loose with this chapter, jerking around the POV to try and get everyone. Writing was probably a little poor (I rushed because I have midterms, the evil bastards), but please enjoy!**

**– TOUHOU –**

The Gap World.

At first, it sounds like an innocent little thing. Okay, maybe not so innocent and definitely not little, but you get the idea. It's known for being Yukari's happy place, madness-inducing if you stay there too long, and eyes that you just can't beat in a staring contest. It's also common knowledge that the gap youkai enjoys using it as a glorified teleport system.

What _isn't_ common knowledge is the system of Border Catacombs. It's less of a network of conjoined gaps and quantum entanglement and other assorted fancy talk, more of the disturbing things that lurk in the corner of Yukari's mind. She's very secretive about it, partly due to sheer blackmail potential (against _Yukari_ of all people!), partly because she has almost no control over it.

Which would explain Ran's predicament.

"Yukari-sama," said Ran as she took a deep breath. "We have to use the catacombs. There isn't another way without her knowing."

"Always a third option," muttered Yukari. Her wounds had closed, but her clothes were ripped, and there was still a crushing pain in her chest. "Wait… near catacombs. She won't come… she will…"

The kitsune was beginning to wonder if her master had finally snapped. "What are you talking about?"

"The miko…" A flicker of a smile came across Yukari's face. "Reimu… she'll find us. Have a backup plan… Always have a backup plan…!"

**– TOUHOU –**

_37 minutes, 12 seconds…_

Darius found Byakuren at the gates of Pandaemonium. She seemed miffed about something. He asked her what was wrong.

The magician huffed. "Miko-san and Kokoro-san left earlier with Myouren-kun. He took them to Hokkai!"

"What? Why?"

Byakuren shook her head. "He wouldn't say, but he asked me to stay back and wait for you." She looked at the unconscious witch over his shoulder. "You came out on top?"

"Closely, thanks to–"

_Don't you dare tell her I'm here,_ Damion hissed in his mind.

Darius started. "Well, I got lucky, I suppose. Anyways, what do we do? Do we go to Gensokyo or Hokkai?"

Before Byakuren could answer, however, someone else spoke up. "Oh, _there_ you are!" Sanae flew down to the two of them, dusting off her skirt. "Sheesh, I was looking everywhere for you two."

"Sanae-san!" Byakuren was surprised. "What are you doing in Makai?"

The wind priestess flopped onto the ground tiredly. "That crazy Reimu sent me to drag you back. The spell card rules were broken! Can you believe it?"

"So… someone broke the rules and it's an incident now?" Darius raised an eyebrow.

"No, I – wait, what? – I meant some youkai _removed_ the spell card rules!"

Darius and Byakuren exchanged a look. "… Removed?"

Sanae gestured for them to follow her. "I'll explain on the way. Come on!"

The gunslinger turned back to Byakuren. "Do we go with her or to Hokkai?"

"With her." She began to jog at a brisk pace. "This is too important."

"But I don't understand." He began to follow after the two girls. "Yes, it's dangerous, but the spell card rules aren't crucial to Gensokyo's safety, right?"

"That's exactly how it works," said Sanae. "One of the only reasons youkai and humans aren't in a full-fledged war right now is because the spell card system is there; that's what Reimu-san made them for. On top of that, the rules are completely reinforced by the Hakurei miko and Yukari, so they can't do anything. But!" She added dramatically before they could speak. "The biggest problem here is that the one who destroyed the rules was _Yukari!"_

In the dream world, Alexa raised an eyebrow. _What?_

Damion slammed his head against the table in front of them. _Goddammit all._

Darius swore under his breath.

"Karin…!"

**– TOUHOU –**

_36 minutes, 49 seconds…_

Marisa slowly opened her eyes, all too aware of her many bruises. Groaning softly, she rolled over onto her stomach and sighed.

"Well, well, sleeping beauty's finally awake." A blue-clad leg stepped up to her. "Really, Marisa, you should know how to defeat someone like him."

"With all due respect," Marisa growled, her voice slightly muffled. "Piss off, ze."

Mima laughed. "It is touching that you'd kill for me, though. Then again, haven't you already?"

"I'll be with you in a sec, ze. Good night, Mima-sama…"

"But that's not I'm here for. Get up, Marisa."

Wincing slightly, the witch pushed herself off the ground and went from lying on it to sitting on it. "What is it?"

"You heard those three, right?" The evil spirit jerked her head in the direction that the other three had wandered off to. "About the spell card rules?"

"You know me too well, da ze…"

"Well, whoever did it is playing a dangerous game. Come with me, Marisa." Mima pulled her to her feet and began a leisurely stroll around the destroyed castle. "It's been a while since I've been free. I'd like to walk."

Marisa steadied her breathing and fell into line beside her mentor. "What is it, Mima-sama?"

"How has Gensokyo been?"

"E-eh?"

Mima glanced at her. "You know what I mean. By the way, I heard about your Midnight Spark. Good work, I was starting to think you'd never master it. Well, that's beside the point."

"Well, why bring it up, da ze?"

A smile came to the evil spirit. "I think it's high time we resumed your training."

Marisa stopped. "R-really, Mima-sama?"

The smile grew wider. "Of course. After all, you heard them; because of our meddling new gap youkai, war is just around the corner. I don't want my star pupil's head on a stick, you know."

"Wait, when was this? They didn't say anything about a war…"

Mima's smile grew into a full-fledged crazed grin. "Oh, didn't they? Well, the tension between humans and youkai is already reaching critical point. This is the last straw between them. And you, Marisa…" The witch shivered a little. "You'll be the lightning rod of it all."

"Geez, you can't help but play the villain role, can't you?" Even under her old mentor, she could still crack a joke.

"Whatever else I am, I'm still an evil spirit," she shrugged. Pulling her student over a pile of collapsed bricks, she continued walking.

Marisa cast a worried look around. "Um, where are we going, anyways?" It was almost as if Mima was leading her into the depths of Pandaemonium…

"For starters, your cute little doll-loving friend was still buried under the rubble."

"Alice! Is she–"

"Don't worry, she's fine." Mima shoved a boulder out of their path easily and beckoned Marisa along. "However, I had to leave behind a little something while I was at it."

The witch's face slowly paled as she realized where they were. The charred walls, the ashes of the carpet, the bloodstains on the floor…!

The spirit raised a glowing green hand and flicked to the side. A pile of collapsed brick shifted, revealing a headless body. Picking up the corpse of Shinki, she turned back to the witch. "Well, I have what I came for. Or rather, what I brought you here for."

Marisa ran a hand along the walls edgily. She laughed nervously. "Mima-sama, this isn't funny, ze."

"Well, you'll find it hilarious in a moment, at least." Mima reached down and tore something else out of the rubble, levelling it out beside her.

She pointed the moon staff at Marisa's face. "Nighty-night, Marisa."

**– TOUHOU –**

_"Why'd you even come out in the first place?"_ Alexa turned to the demon next to her, a frown on her face.

White coat slung over the back of his chair, Damion smirked. _"Do I really need a reason?"_

Alexa swivelled her chair to face him head-on. _"I mean it, Damion. Why are you back?"_

_"You wouldn't dare." _Damion bared his canines with that aggravating smirk of his. _"And even if you did–"_

_Whump._

_"… you wouldn't even be able to do anything,"_ he finished. Alexa lowered her fist and sat back in her chair, eyeing him warily. _"Oh, calm down, Cagnes. I'm just here because I feel like it. If it bothers you that much, I'll go crawl back in my hole when this is over."_

Alexa's eye was twitching. Spinning the chair back around to the table, she tapped a finger against the metal surface. Bright blue lines raced back and forth across it, forming a keyboard. The static-filled screen in front of them sparked to life, showing them a bobbing view of Makai – Darius' vision. As her fingers flew, she spoke. _"Don't think this is over. And when this is over, you'd better go back where you came from."_

Damion's grin split even wider, if that were possible. She fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. _"Of course I will. Then again, the problem is, where _did_ I came from?"_

Her hands froze. _"… What?"_

_"Oh, that's right. I never told you what I am, did I?"_ He leaned back in his chair. _"Too bad. Guess I'll be going…"_

_"Hold it."_

Damion stopped, slowly settling back into his chair. He'd won this round, and they both knew it. _"You realize I'm still not telling you."_

_"I'd much rather you didn't,"_ growled the living weapon. Brushing her green bangs behind her ear, she went back to working. _"Even so, you and I both know your link to Darius-sama. None of us are happy with it, but you'd best stick around… or we all die."_

_"Idiot can't even walk through a war and leave alive, I'd bet."_

She glared at him. _"Not all of us are war demons several millennia old, you know."_

_"Meh, I could care less. So, you still want me around or not?"_

Alexa really, _really_ wanted to get up and punch his lights out. Even so, she took a deep breath. _"Stay. Darius-sama has to live, no matter what."_

Damion watched the living weapon lose herself in whatever spell she was working on this time. His red eyes flickered. _"No matter what, eh? Alright, I'll keep your buddy alive. The only question is whether or not his mind will still be there after…!"_

**– TOUHOU –**

Ruined. That was the first thought that came to Karin when she opened her eyes. She shook her head. "My mind is a mess, isn't it?"

It really kind of was. While everyone's dream world was different and unique to them, Karin probably still stood out like a sore thumb. It was less of a single world, and more of a random work pieced together by hacking apart hundreds photos and taping them together. She was standing in a field of grass that was only about fifty feet in any direction, where it ended with a stitched line. On the other side of that line was a desert, complete with a wavering haze of heat above it. That was to her left. On her right, it seemed to be snowy tundra; it even had ice floes. Just past that, she could just make out a skyscraper. Above all of it was a dark, overcast sky.

"So this is… the dream world…" She breathed. Stepping forward, she shuddered as she passed from the green field to floating over a blood red sea. Another step; and she was drifting over open air. Eventually, she stopped in front of another building – part of a slice of urban city. She _knew_ this place.

The door creaked open softly, letting in what little light there was. Karin was right – she lived here when she was a little kid. Leaving the door open, she walked deeper into the home, not bothering with the lights. The house had a faint scent of smoky jasmine to it, just the way she remembered it.

Her house was fairly spacious, a rare gift in the urban sprawls of her old city. Reaching the end of the main hallway, she climbed the mahogany stairs. She left no footprints. This wasn't her home. Not really.

But maybe…

Just maybe…!

There it was. It really hadn't changed after all. Right at the other end of the hall was the door to her room. Walking quickly, Karin didn't even notice the way her dress caught the lip of a flower pot, sending it tumbling to the ground. But instead of the tinkling of shattered clay, it simply fell apart when it hit the floor silently, turning to black shards and spinning away.

Her hand reached out for the doorknob shakily. Karin's eyes were wide. Was it really still here? And if it was, did that mean…?

The door swung open easily, stopping just an inch short of the wall. The hinge was still broken. Karin stepped into her bedroom, slowly taking it in. "It really is still here… _you're_ really still here."

It was a rectangular room, the door in one corner. Opposite to it was her bed. Beige walls. Drawers along one side of the room, her desk at the last remaining corner, a mirror above them. A single window set above her bed allowed in the faint light. Posters adorned the wall above her desk. There was even that one Pokémon plushy that she never bothered to pick up. Stepping into the center of the room, she spun in a slow circle. "This really is… just a memory, isn't it?"

It was. She knew that it was just a recreation, but for some reason, she truly wished it were real. Karin glanced at the drawers again. She walked over to it and slid one of them open slowly. There it was.

She reached into the drawer, holding it in her hands gently. It was simply a picture – of her and Darius at a park, taken just the year before. A wide grin on her face, a somewhat abashed smile on his. His coat was slung over his shoulder; one of the rare times he took it off.

She looked up at the mirror before her. Gold hair, sharpened eyes, a thin mask of indifference. A sigh. "What the hell did I do to myself…?"

**Twisted yourself into a monster. What else?**

Karin didn't even bother to respond.

A gap opened up beside her, emerald lights flickering to life behind it. **This is new. I thought you and him…**

She glanced at it briefly and turned away again. "It's not a big deal."

**… Naturally. Why are you back?**

A long, pregnant pause. "I… to think. I needed to think."

**About what?**

She chose not to answer that.

**I see. **The presence began to fade away, the gap closing back up. **All that effort, but in the end, you're still her. However, you still have your own role to play. Bear that in mind.**

"Get out," she murmured.

**I will leave you to your thoughts.**

Karin looked at the window. It crumbled away, and she walked towards it, treading on air over the bleak landscape. "It really is just me, isn't it?"

She stopped, simply floating there. Then again, what was she doing all this for? She was getting soft.

But was she really?

Who was she? She wasn't Yukari, she wasn't even Karin anymore. Hell, she probably wasn't even any single species. If so, it wasn't a question of _who_ is she; it's a question of _what_ is she? Could she really give herself an honest answer?

She looked at her hand, noticing she was still holding the picture. A flicker of irritation as she made to dash it against the ground. But just as she began to throw it, she stopped. Slowly, she brought it back to herself. Maybe, just maybe, she could…!

She ground her teeth. No, that was impossible. She'd let herself fall so far – she could only fall so much further. She'd just enjoy what little of the ride there still was. But she wasn't even enjoying it. Why was she really doing any of it? To prove something? Or was she just another pawn in another's chess game?

No. She'd made her mind. She would follow this blind path to the bitter end.

And yet…

Another look at the small photo. She pocketed it. Karin waved her hand, a stitched gap opening up before her, ready to admit her back into the conscious realm. But as she stepped through, she felt a strange spark as she left.

Hope.


	37. Travelling Abroad

**Went full-on hyper yesterday and today to pull a new chapter out of my butt. I feel nice about this one; it's still a little rushed, yeah, but I feel like I did decent with it.**

**In other news, Mr PM finally came back! I missed you~ And about Damion, I actually never thought of the black/white connection between him and Hollow Ichigo, to be honest. I just thought it'd make for an interesting fridge concept - is light good and dark evil, or is light evil and dark good? These two are meant to show things can be a little more than you'd think they'd normally be.**

**Also, thanks for pointing me to the NieR OST, it is simply fantastic. Definitely squeezing them in for the final battles. The Pandora's Box concept, too. How did I not think of that!? As for Yukari and Reimu... well, almost everything that gap hag does has something to do with the well-being of Gensokyo. Her and playing up Reimu isn't exactly an exception to that. You know what I mean. And Karin and Wildcard, I can't say for either. Critical plot details - I'll PM you back on those ones.**

**Whew, long answer. Anyways, on with the story! As always, please R&R! (Pretty please)**

**– TOUHOU –**

They found her at the gates of Makai. Sanae touched down and ran the last few steps to her. "Reimu-san? I found them."

The miko frowned, arms crossed. "Took you long enough." She spun on her heel and began marching away at a brisk pace. "We're going to the outside world."

Sanae jogged to keep up with her, Byakuren and Darius right behind her. "Reimu-san, what's going on? You didn't give me any details. I can't help you if you don't–"

Reimu wheeled back around. "_Kochiya_, I just found out the laws I established were literally destroyed by one of the people who helped me make them – part of her, at least," she hissed. "I'm not in the mood." A bit of the fire faded from her eyes, and she sighed. "Sorry. It's just that the youkai are acting up again."

"What do you mean?" Darius asked.

She glanced at him and began walking again; this time slowly enough for them follow her pace. "The youkai here have been bound by the spell card rules. They know that they're enforced by me and Y-Yukari, so they'd never try their hand at revolt. The biggest problem here is that only me and her can actually remove those rules. For the feral youkai…"

Byakuren gasped softly as she understood. "They'll start a war."

Reimu nodded. "That Karin girl knows her stuff. Some of them have sided with humans, like Keine and Mokou (obviously) and the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"Remi-san?" Darius looked at her. "That doesn't seem like something she'd do…"

"It would raise her profile and give her a bargaining chip," explained Reimu. "She's still a vampire, so she needs to feed. This would give her leverage against the human village."

"We've talked," added Sanae. "Even though our shrine is on Youkai Mountain, Kanako-sama has allowed me to assist the human side. But she won't participate personally… She still wants some faith from the mountain, too."

"Gensokyan politics? For real?"

Apparently, Reimu got the joke. A brief breath that might've passed for a half-laugh escaped her. "Oh hell no. That'd be a disaster." Sliding open the back door to her shrine, she beckoned the others inside. "By the way, there's someone else here. He wants to talk to you – never mind, he's sleeping…"

Darius peeked in and saw – surprise, surprise – Goukei passed out, limply hanging from the ceiling with a bottle of whisky in hand. "This should surprise me, but for some reason, it doesn't."

_That,_ said Damion, _is what happens when the madness finally gets to you._

He rolled his eyes and ducked under the sleeping oni, sitting at the low table in the middle of the room. Reimu excused herself, muttering something about tea. Sanae and Byakuren seated themselves next to him, leaving the last 'corner' open for Reimu to sit down at. She came back a few minutes later, toting four teacups and a teapot.

Darius reached out and accepted his cup. "Thanks for the tea, Reimu-san."

"Now, let's get down to business." The shrine maiden smiled thinly. "Now, this oni here–" She waved at the sleeping Goukei. "– told me that we'll need to be back in the outside world to catch the new gap youkai. Normally, I'd doubt his sources, but I'd rather take the initiative this time."

"What? Reimu taking an incident without being bribed?" Darius felt a grin coming to his face. "How could this possibly – oof!"

The miko lowered her gohei. "This is serious, so don't joke around."

Rubbing his head, he nodded. In that same head, he could hear Damion's snickers. "Oh, laugh it up, you…"

Ignoring him, Reimu went on. "He says her first play would be in New York; USA. I _might_ be able to arrange a flight."

"That's takes a lot of cash." Sanae narrowed her eyes. "Who have you been giving favours to?"

"After you solve a few incidents, you get a few frequent worshippers," she shrugged. "As for my other funds… well, you don't want to know." She clapped her hands together, wringing them conspiratorially. "Some of us will need to stay in Gensokyo to try and cool the upcoming war. Byakuren-san, can I trust you on this?"

She nodded. "I'll do everything I can."

Reimu nodded back. "Thank you. Darius-kun, you speak English, right?"

"As well as anyone else."

"If you say so. If we can find her, Marisa might be able to help, and probably a few others. Sanae, do me a favour and send a few letters."

"To who?" Sanae listened as Reimu whispered the addresses in her ear. "For real?"

"She's a menace, but she's one of our best shots." Reimu thought for a second. "Eirin-san would probably help out, too."

"The doctor?" Darius glanced over. "Why her?"

"She passed centuries learning every language on Earth; plus, she doesn't want Gensokyo burning any more than we do – if they're forced out, the moon emissaries might catch up to them." The miko got up and opened a cabinet, outside-world clothes filched from Kourindou spilling out onto the floor. "Now, who wants to see the Big Apple?"

**– TOUHOU –**

Byakuren tugged at her sleeves. "Do we really need to wear these?"

"Unless you want to look like you just came out of Anime North 2013, yes." Darius leaned against the wall.

_Say it,_ Damion egged him. _Say it, say it, say it…_

"It does look nice on you, though. You should wear it more often"

Her face reddened. "T-thanks."

Actually, it _did_ look very nice on her. Dark purple belted coat with a seemingly endless supply of pockets, with a white shirt underneath and a pair of denim jeans, along with a scarf in exchange for her cape, she both could have stood out of a crowd and blended in perfectly – her gradient hair probably helped. She refused to dye it.

Sanae bopped Darius over the head. "Stop eyeing her."

"I'm not!" He protested as he gave her a light nudge back. "C'mon, now."

"And don't look at me like that, either." The wind priestess waved her own gohei around menacingly. "I'm warning you!"

Even dressed in a sleeved version of her regular outfit (the add-ons weren't hard to find), the modest skirt that extended past her knees, and, of all things, a Hello Kitty bracelet, Sanae could definitely pull threatening look. Unlike Byakuren, they had forcibly dyed her hair to a more believable dark brown – walking around with green hair was just too bizarre for the modern world.

The gunslinger backed away, holding up his hands. "Whoa now, take it easy." Unlike the others, he made it out without needing any big changes – though he had swiped an interesting hat out of the mix. Something like Marisa's beloved witch hat, but instead of circular at the base, it was triangular, two points behind him, the third drooping slightly over his left eye. A weather black belt was strapped around the top of it for whatever reason. Reimu admitted to it belonging to Marisa when she wanted to try out new hats. He took it anyways. "I don't want to walk into the airport with a collapsed skull!"

"Customs aren't worth crap." Reimu continued drinking her tea. Opposite to everyone else, she had steadfastly refused to take any modifications to her clothes at all. No, not even the casual mention of armpit lovers deterred her. "Just try and get a demon binding seal through them." Drinking the last bits of it as quickly as possible, she set aside the teacup and got up again. "Now, are you all done gearing up?"

Byakuren tugged at her scarf. "Reimu-san, I can understand needing Sanae-san dressed up, but why me?"

"My shrine has an outside world equivalent," said the miko. "It also happens to be the main entrance through the Great Hakurei Barrier. We need someone to stay there, just in case."

"That still doesn't explain it…"

"We're going to pop out in the middle of an urban city." Reimu deadpanned. She looked at the ceiling again, where Goukei was apparently still sleeping it off. "We should probably bring him along, too. Just get rid of his cloak."

"Nnn…" The ex-shinigami rolled over. "But… why is the rum gone… I don't want yer dirt jar…!"

**– TOUHOU –**

Darius clutched his head, groaning softly. "I hate planes on so many levels…"

Reimu glared at a few passersby who were ogling her. "Maybe I should have worn the other outfit after all…"

He glanced over. "Gee, ya think?"

She reached over and smacked him lightly.

"Ow…"

Sanae smirked from the window seat. Reaching into the bag at her feet, she brought out an aspirin and tossed it at the gunslinger.

He caught it just before it hit the ground. "Holy – stop that!"

"Just take it." Sanae pulled out a pair of headphones and watched the clouds roll by underneath them. Reimu went back to her book. Darius just watched the back of the seat in front of him, but not really seeing it.

_Fuck you, Alexa._ And of course Damion and Alexa were still fighting. _You think you know what's best for him? I _am_ him, I know more than you ever could!_

_Why would you even bother?_ Alexa shot back. _Last time I checked, you wanted his body!_

_Yeah? Well, when I collect his debt to me, I'd rather not take control of a corpse! If he bites the dust, so do I! So you can take your fucking revolver and shove it up your–!_

_Whap._

Alexa lowered her arm shakily. _Fuck you too, Damion. Unlike you, I actually _care_ about the person in that body right now, so you can take a back seat like you always do and shut it!_

_You want a fight? _Damion picked himself up easily, hands clenched into fists. _I'll wreck you any day, and you know it!_

They still hadn't noticed him, but they were approaching critical mass – again. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "Goukei-kun, you there?"

The oni on the other side of the aisle turned his head so fast it cracked. "… The fuck do you want?"

"I'll be napping for a bit. Mind if we switch seats?"

"Wanker." Even so, he got up and took Darius' seat, allowing the gunslinger his own seat in return. He'd been in a foul mood ever since he was pulled over in the airport and caught carrying enough alcohol to pass for anesthetic. "Tell me to get up again, and I'll kick your ass."

"Yeah, whatever," said Darius. He knew Goukei wouldn't try anything – not surrounded by ordinary humans, several thousand feet in the air above an ocean. "G'night."

He huffed, glaring daggers as Darius tilted his hat down to cover his eyes. Like Reimu had said, all he had done was take off his cloak, mostly because it would just be too strange a sight.

The ex-shinigami cast a furtive glance around and reached into his pants pocket, stealthily pulling out a tiny bottle of tequila. "One shot never hurt anyone…"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Guys?"

Alexa fell to the ground, rolling out of the way as Damion leapt after her like a wild animal. _"Holy – get away from me!"_

"You picked this fight in the first place!" The demon slammed a hand against the surface of the water and submerged his hand up to the wrist. A quick slash of the arm, and the living weapon vaulted to the side again as a wave of white water roared by. "Thought you were gonna teach me a lesson, huh? _HUH!?_"

Darius took a half-step. "Uh, guys…?"

Alexa's hands glowed, revolver appearing in hand. Pointing it, she yelled, _"Acerbatus!"_

"Oh, I see how it is," growled Damion. His coat glowed as he grabbed it, sweeping it off his shoulders and around, batting aside the curse spell with a solid wall of light. "I'll kill you so fucking dead that you won't have anything to regenerate from!" He sprinted forward, a stream of white light following his movement–

_Bang! Bang!_

Darius lowered the revolver and sighed. These two kept trying to kill each other, all the time…!

Alexa blinked. _"Darius-sama, you're back?"_

The demon on the floor chuckled. "I was starting to think you'd never notice." He got off the ground slowly, blood trickling from the bullet wounds in his head. With a sound of sizzling, two warped bullets fell out of their respective wounds, his skull rapidly regenerating. "So, what you back in town for?"

"That – my bullets – you just–" Darius threw his hands in the air. "I give up. I give up!"

His counterpart snickered as he watched the gunslinger rant to thin air. "Always works. But really, whaddya need?"

Darius took a deep breath. He glanced at Alexa, who had returned to the futuristic steel table. "How does that even work? The keyboard, I mean."

She glanced at him before returning her attention to the screen. _"Just a handy mental shortcut – I could control it by thinking, but this is easier. More importantly… I think I have the answer to the Muyoka Incident."_ She looked at his confused expression. _"Well, it's worth being called an incident, doesn't it?"_

Darius rolled his eyes. "Sure, why not. What do you mean, Alexa-san?"

_"You remember that I'm not a single soul, right?" _Even as she talked, her fingers flew, the screen changing from static to a simple blue screen, several windows opening on it. _"God, why do you have a Mac interface – anyways, I'm pretty much a composite between you and another. Seems I've got a few of her memories, too. Let's see, a few more clicks and…!"_

The blip signified her success. A 3D schematic blinked to life, spinning slowly as a green wireframe. It seemed to be an extremely decorated storage chest, like a pirate would use to store his treasures.

Alexa smiled. _"This is something once called Pandora's Box. Three guesses what it does?"_

"The ultimate in porn stashing?" Both Darius and Alexa turned to glare at the speaker. Damion laughed. "What? For all you know, it could be!"

Darius looked at her. "Idiot," he muttered.

_"Total idiot,"_ she agreed. _"Now, as I was saying, Pandora's Box is – well, aside from having the least original name ever – an unbreakable chest with so many enchantments it'd give you a stroke trying to comprehend it. No, seriously, I nearly had an aneurysm trying to figure it out."_

"Well, how does this help us?"

Alexa grinned as several graphs appeared onscreen. To the others, they made no sense, but she explained it quickly. _"It doesn't matter how strong whatever's contained in it is – it can't get out. Ever. The original Pandora's Box was a jar filled with a thousand plagues – whoever did this was trying to achieve the same effect. And damn, she came close."_

Damion narrowed his eyes at the chest. "How much force would be needed to break it open?"

_"From the outside? Like, one stick of dynamite."_ Alexa watched his face for a moment. _"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Well, I'm not, actually, it only takes one stick to blast it open, but only to open it! To completely shatter it, you'd probably need the big guy upstairs to lend a hand – most gods don't even have enough power to so much as scratch its surface."_

"Damn, that's strong," said Darius. "So, this would hold Karin?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Damion snorted. "Of course it would! Look at those charms, right there on the corner." Darius didn't understand, but he looked anyways. "Prevent any and all distortions inside the box, temporal, spatial, whatever. If we get our hands on this, then goodbye gap hags." His smile dropped a little. "The question is where the fuck do we get one of these?"

Alexa was waiting for the command – the tap of a single button, and the window closed, replaced by a map of the Earth. _"We don't have many options, really. One of them would be to dig up the original Pandora's Box in Greece, another would be to just build our own."_

"Build Pandora's Box?" Darius asked. "I'm pretty sure we'd need gods to do that."

_"You need gods? We've got gods. The Moriya Shrine, for instance. Plus, Reimu can supply all the charms we need, and Eirin once put the entire Earth in a pot to hide it from the moon."_

"W-wait, she did what?"

_"Never mind. My point,"_ she pressed before he spoke again, _"is that we have a weapon Karin will never see coming. It'll spare her life, but seal her consciousness – she'll just about be sleeping. So long as Pandora's Box isn't opened…"_

Damion's razor-sharp grin was back as he finished for her. "… The evils inside won't escape."

Alexa nodded. _"Nice to see we agree on something for a change."_

As he watched them begin talking about potential for getting the sealing chest – tickets to Greece, museums it might be hidden in, people they needed to contact, the works – Darius wasn't really listening. He turned away from them, watching the many little yin-yang orbs spin through the sky idly.

He murmured to himself, too quietly for them to hear. "Is she really an evil…?"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Wake up. Darius, wake up."

The gunslinger opened his eyes blearily, blinking the sleep away. "Whuz happen?"

Reimu frowned. "We're here. Welcome to the USA."

That was when he first noticed she was speaking English – and he was still speaking in Japanese. That earned him a few weird looks, along with Reimu's miko outfit. He got up and stretched as much as he could without hitting his head. When he spoke again, it was also in English. "Where are we?"

"Weren't you listening?" Sanae, like Reimu, knew English, though hers had a heavy accent to it. "It's New York!"

Darius tilted back his new hat and looked out the window. "Nice. By any chance, would this Big Apple be a Bad Apple?"

**– TOUHOU –**

***rimshot***

**It shouldn't surprise you that Reimu and Sanae know English. The former leaves Gensokyo a lot, the latter is an outsider, draw your own conclusions!**

**Pandora's Box... does anyone remember the original Greek myth? When Pandora opened the box, all the evils spilled out into the world in the form of spirits, which became plagues and illnesses and diseases. She closed the lid just before the last spirit could escape, however. Anyone who knows the tale of Pandora's Box should have a rough grasp of where this plan will end... Please leave your thoughts in the review section.**

**Oh, and don't worry about the Makai timer. He'll come back, eventually...**

**And Darius' fancy new hat is actually Marisa's from Koumajou Densetsu, aka Touhouvania. Look it up!**


	38. Karin's Hang Out

**(Happy Early Remembrance Day! ****_Lest we forget._****)**

**Yes! Finally! Another chapter!**

***dies***

**Gah, I took forever to write this one. Managed to power through it, though. I seem to have a crippling case of forgot-to-do-almost-all-his-homework-and-is-paying -the-price-itis, which is what's been trying to drag me into the horrible, horrible pits of procrastination. Worry not! I'm still here! A little slower, but still here!**

**Mr PM wandered off again... Koishi, mind lending me a hand later?**

**Now, to BokusuKanon: First off, thanks for leaving all these reviews! This won't turn into a harem fic; that much is an absolute guarantee. Okay, maybe there'll be a love triangle or two or five (just kidding), but hey!**

**Well, that's all this time. On with the show!**

**– TOUHOU –**

You know what Darius least expected to see at the airport?

Karin Muyoka.

"Hey, Darius!" She waved at him energetically as soon as he stepped out of the airport, running over to him. Her dress had been exchanged for a pair of dark blue sweatpants, a purple shirt, and a white winter jacket over all of that, the yin-yang emblazoned onto the back of it. She had an ice cream in hand, though her eyes were still violet. If others noticed, they gave no sign of it.

Darius looked up from his luggage – and instantly paled. "No fucking way." The others looked up as well.

Everyone exploded into movement, Reimu drawing her charms, Goukei stepping forward with his fists raised, and Darius reaching for the hidden revolver in his coat. Before any of them could do anything, however, Karin simply shook her head. "Ah, ah, ah, play nice. Look at all the happy people around us! You wouldn't want to ruin their days, would you?"

Reimu bared her teeth. "Damn you, Karin."

Sanae looked between the two of them. "Wait, this is who we're looking for? Really?"

"But we can't do anything," growled Goukei. "I'd love to beat her into a pulp, but she's right. We can't fight with this many people standing around."

_Which means the only way to fight would be to catch her alone…_ Damion mused.

_Are you crazy? _Alexa muttered. _We need to find Pandora's Box to stand a chance. The question is… what kind of game is Karin playing now?_

The gap demon giggled, hooking her arm around Darius' and pulling him along. "It's been so long since we came here! **Hasn't it,** Darius?"

A shared glance between them, and they agreed. If they wanted a shot at her, they needed to play along. He said, "Uh… yeah! It's great to be back…?"

Karin put two fingers to her mouth and whistled. "Taxi! Hey, cabman! Any cab? Hello~!"

As she wandered off looking for a taxi for them, Darius muttered to the two in his head sourly. "Well, I think we just got a Karin-sized wrench thrown into our plans…"

Alexa frowned. _"Not quite yet. I doubt she knows about Pandora's Box. Just play along as best as you can – and look for a way out while you're at it. Whatever you do, don't get tricked into wandering off…"_

Just then, Karin returned in the back of what seemed to be a bus taxi. "Guys, I got a ride! Hop in, on my tab."

"This is a terrible idea," muttered Goukei.

"We don't have much of a choice." Darius opened the door and sat, glaring at Karin.

She ignored his death-stare and beckoned the others closer. "Come on, we're not staying forever, you know?" The others grudgingly got in as well. She turned to the driver. "Mr. Robert? We have everyone."

"Where to, miss?"

"Brooklyn Apartments, if you will," she said to him with a smile.

"It's your dollar." He hit up the meter, and with a small lurch, the car began moving.

"How'd you get a cabbie so easily?" Darius asked her.

Karin shrugged. "A little persuasion." A small gap opened up next to her, closing back up almost immediately. "Certainly not any borders."

He glanced out the window before donning his hat, glaring at the gap demon. "Dammit Karin."

Sanae opened her mouth to speak, but just then, Karin pointed at something. "Hey, look over there!" She waved at the colossal statue, the most iconic symbol of New York. "_Heeeey_, Lady Liberty!"

"It's not gonna talk back," the gunslinger pointed out.

"Unless _the Angels take Manhattan_," she shot back.

"No way." That was when Sanae's fangirl drive finally got a chance to kick in. "Doctor Who?"

Karin laughed. "Only watched every episode!"

Darius dropped his head into his hands. "Oh God, it's starting…"

Beside him, Reimu glanced at the distracted Karin once more before speaking in a subdued tone. "Alright, looks like she's distracted. Goukei, get over here."

"I hate all of you. Go die in a hole." Despite that, he sidled up to them anyways. "So, what's the plan?"

Reimu cast another look at Karin, who was apparently explaining something to Sanae. "And when the patient woke up, her _skeleton_ was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again! Ahahahaha~!" Sanae followed suit and burst into laughter. Karin wiped a mirthful tear from her eye. "Anyways… that's how Eirin lost her medical license. Or so I'm told."

She looked back. "Karin will play the first hand. We just have to wait and see what she does."

Goukei stared at her in disbelief. "No fucking way that's a good idea."

"It's the best plan we have." The miko wasn't very happy with it either, it seemed. "We can't exactly get a plan to take her on. It's more than likely she can serve us all, no problem."

"By the way," added Karin, "if you're planning on how to take me down, you're on the right path."

Darius paled. "Oh, fuck me sideways."

"Ufufufu~ No thanks, Darius." She nudged him playfully. "Also, we're not quite fighting, you guys. **We're playing a game. **And this game is an acting game! Ever heard of Cops and Robbers?"

Darius fingered the revolver in his pocket. "Who's the cop and who's the robber…?"

"Why, I'm the robber, you're the cop, of course!"

Robert poked his head around the side of his seat. "Ma'am? We're here."

"Thank you, Robert. Well, everybody off." They disembarked, grabbing their luggage from the trunk. Reimu and Sanae each had the regular baggage, Darius with a suitcase (Dammit, Damion), and about a million crates of assorted alcoholic beverages from Goukei. The building they were at dominated the block, easily the largest in the area.

As they unloaded, Karin casually asked, "How'd you get all this overseas, anyway?"

As one, they pointed at Reimu.

"… Oh. That makes a lot of sense. Anyways, I made arrangements for us all in room 666! Come onnn~"

Sanae looked at her flatly. "Really?"

The youkai legion threw an arm around the shoulder of her new frienemy. "Of course not, silly! Some of us will be in room 667. Anyways, come on guys, I got us some _sweet_ rooms…!"

Unnoticed by the others, Darius silently crossed himself as he followed.

Brooklyn Apartments was a typical place; nondescript, simplistic. A few chairs scattered about, along with the occasional potted plant. A few other visitors were there as well, a redhead idly reading a tech magazine, a small family and their dog, and the bored-looking man at the receptionist's desk. He glanced up as Karin approached – and jolted to attention. "Welcome back, miss."

She smiled and waved. "Hello. Cheery as ever, I see. Are the rooms ready?"

"Just as you requested we leave them, miss. On floor six."

Karin nodded. "Great." She turned to the others. "Alright, we got two rooms to choose from. Who wants to sleep in the devil's room?"

"We'd rather share room 667 if it means staying away from you," spat Darius.

"Oh, relax, I'm not sleeping here." The youkai legion wandered past them and opened the elevator, stepping in and waiting for the others. "I'll be in my personal little room."

_Ding!_

The elevator opened, letting them out. Karin handed two cards to Sanae, but didn't leave. "Well, I'll leave you lot to get acquainted. Bye~!"

And she was gone.

Darius groaned quietly. "Crazy girl… where does she get off fighting us, killing people, then acting like best buddies? I mean, come on…!" He trailed off as he went over to the two side-by-side doors of rooms 666 and 667. "Well, this is a terrible idea, but who wants which room?"

"Boys in one room, girls in the other, obviously," said Goukei.

The others exchanged looks. "Well, why not?" Reimu shrugged.

"But who gets which room?" Sanae pointed out.

Reimu pointed at Darius. Darius pointed at Reimu. They glared at each other, hands slowly reaching for their weapons.

"Um…" Sanae felt a bead of sweat slide down her neck as she dug out a penny. "H-how about a coin flip?"

"Heads!" The miko called quickly.

"Darn. Tails, I guess."

The coin flipped into the air, spinning end over end. It landed softly in the wind priestess' hand. The side up was…

Tails.

The gunslinger pumped his fist in quiet celebration. Flicking room 666's key card at Reimu, he slid the key card for room 667 across the lock. "Alright! Looks like everything here's settled. If you'll excuse me, I'd like a decent sleep on an actual bed! _Night, ladies!_"

He swung the door open triumphantly – and felt his jaw hit the floor. Everyone else peered around him and had similar reactions.

"S-Sanae," he stuttered out. "Do you m-mind calling reception a-again?"

She nodded tightly and backed away, sprinting for the stairs.

The oni with them rolled his eyes. "Wimps." He strode into the room and plucked the tasteless decoration from the ceiling.

He turned back around, the man's corpse in his arms. "What's wrong with a few dead bodies?"

**– TOUHOU –**

"Come along, Marisa! Don't be shy!"

The witch looked around uneasily. "Uh, Mima-sama, not that you're doing a bad thing – well, you are – but, ze!" She swept a hand out at the countless sunflowers around them. "Why are we in the _Garden of the Frickin' Sun!?_"

"Yuuka-san is a close friend of mine." Mima smiled as she carefully parted a thick bundle of sunflowers, taking care to not damage them. Marisa ducked under her arm and crawled into what seemed to be the only properly sunflower-free space in the whole garden.

Yuuka's mansion.

And unlike the other mansion in Gensokyo, the gate guard took its job seriously.

Sure, Elly had a scythe that literally reach almost all the way around her body and was probably a crapshoot in close combat, but the fact she _throws_ it at people is what made her a menace to anyone who wanted to get inside the mansion. And just like her mistress, she wasn't known for making friends.

"Stop!" The young gate guard commanded as she watched them approach. "State your name and business!"

"Mima Maseriki, Marisa Kirisame," the evil spirit said without hesitation.

The gate guard eyed them warily. "I cannot trust your words. If you want to pass…"

Marisa's eyes lit up. "Fight?"

Mima rolled her eyes. "If you insist. _Twilight Spa–"_

"Well, that's just rude. Why don't you come in, have a tea and chat?"

Everyone stopped. Mima turned her head, a flicker of hope in her eyes. "Yuuka-san?"

"Hello." The flower youkai strolled out, gently pushing Elly out of the way. "I apologize for dear Elly; she's rather zealous in protecting the mansion."

"That's an understatement…" Marisa muttered sourly as she stuffed away her reactor.

"It's okay, Elly," Yuuka said to the young girl. "These are my friends. They're good people – well, they're _decent_…"

Mima huffed. "You're funny."

"I always am." She unlocked the door of her house and pushed open the door, evidently expecting them to follow her. "Well? Come in."

Yuuka's mansion was a classic European piece. No one ever asked who built it, or when, or _how_, mostly because the answers would probably scar everyone. Despite the nature of its occupant, it was surprisingly large and open-spaced. The entry room alone looked like a little slice of a tropical rainforest, complete with little waterfalls coming out of the walls.

The other rooms and the hallways leading to them looked much more normal, with plush dark green carpeting and simplistic white walls. Of course, plants grew on just about every exposed surface – plant pots, dishes, tables, _everything_ – and covered up the walls to boot, but it was still there. Interestingly, there weren't many free-hanging vines.

Marisa looked around, spinning in a slow circle to take it all in. "Wow… never seen this before, da ze."

Her mentor simply took it all in stride. "You mean you've never been here? _You_, patron saint of kleptomaniacs?"

The witch gave her a playful nudge. "Come on, Mima-sama, I only borrow them till I die, ze!"

"This is all very nice," Yuuka said as she led them onwards, "but why are you two here? I believed you would have more pressing matters." She fixed the evil spirit with a piercing stare. "Such as, say, the upcoming war."

The air shifted subtly. Mima laughed it off. "Oh, to hell with the war – literally. But why can't I simply take a day or two out of my schedule to visit an old friend?"

Yuuka's smile seemed somewhat strained as she admitted them into her spacious dining room and poured them tea. "Well, if you insist. Marisa-san, please stop squirming like a worm. I won't hurt you – unless you break my dear children, of course. Then I'll just have to break _you~_"

Marisa shivered, her shaky hands spilling the tea. "Haha… yeah, like that'll happen…"

Yuuka sat with them at the long rectangular table (_No candles,_ Mima noted) and folded up her parasol, stowing it away… somewhere. "Now, will I be correct in assuming you're here for an alliance?"

Mima rocked back in her chair slightly. "Oh, I wouldn't say _alliance_. Then we'd have to work together again. Instead, we'll just be fighting a common enemy."

"My enemy's enemy is my friend?" Yuuka quoted.

"Exactly. Well, still not _friends…_"

The flower youkai raised an eyebrow. "Mima, dear, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to distance yourself from me." A few vines crawled along the ground around her chair. "Are you?"

Mima laughed uneasily, just the same way her student had. "Haha… of course not, Yuuka-san!" Even she knew better than to fight Yuuka, in her element, on her home ground, sans spell cards.

"That's such great news to hear!" Her smile dimmed slightly as she continued. "Sadly, I'm afraid I've already made a decision as to which side I'll be on."

Marisa glanced at her, but said nothing.

Yuuka got the hint. "Really, I'm _not_ going to kill you!"

"Whose side are you on?" Mima pressed.

"The humans'," Yuuka said without hesitation.

_PFFFFFFFFT!_

"Well, that's just a waste of perfectly good tea." Yuuka snapped her parasol shut once again and flicked the hot liquid off of it.

Marisa wiped her mouth with her sleeve after her double spit-take with Mima. "Come again, ze?"

"You, _Yuuka Kazami_," said Mima, "siding with _humans?_"

"Why not?" She shrugged in response. "My fellow youkai are all rallying against the vastly outnumbered humans. I'd like to tip the scales a little in their favour."

Mima waited. "… and?"

The flower youkai sighed. "And, yes, it's because fighting youkai is more fun than fighting humans." Her iconic grin of sadism plastered itself across her face again. "After all, you rip out a man's spine and you barely get five seconds to beat him to death with it. With a youkai or even a _god_, on the other hand, I get to just beat them… and beat them… _and beat them… AND BEAT THEM…!"_

Marisa leaned back in her chair from the solid mass of killing intent on the far side of the table. "O~kay, leaning a little too close to the batshit insane side of the scale there…"

Mima, on the other hand, just swept up the ultimate sadistic creature in a completely random hug. "And there's the crazy Yuuka we all know and love!"

"Mima, please get off me." Despite her calm demeanor and light smile, the throbbing vein in Yuuka's temple made it clear she was _this_ close to Dual Sparking the evil spirit into the next dimension.

Mima pouted, but acquiesced, letting her back up.

Clearing her throat, Yuuka dusted off her skirt and smiled. "Now, as I was saying, I joined the humans simply because killing other youkai is just so much more fun!" The smile slipped a few notches. "It's a pity I'll have to split my kills with those other mansion dwellers, though…"

"If killing things is so much fun, why aren't you out there right now, tearing everyone a new one?" Marisa pointed out.

The flower youkai shrugged. "I've been meaning to, but that alien doctor seems to already know. You saw her traps on the way in, didn't you?"

Mentor and student exchanged a look. "… No?"

"Hmm…" Yuuka leaned on one of her windows, enjoying the sunlight streaming in. "She's gotten better at hiding them."

"What? Why does Eirin have anything to do with this?" Marisa looked between Yuuka and Mima, trying to make a connection between them.

"Didn't you know?" Yuuka continued. "When the feral youkai decided to try their hand at proper war, the hakutaku and phoenix girl were all over the place fighting them off. Naturally, the moon princess decided to join the opposing team just to spite them. That included her crazy scientist, of course." She looked back over her shoulder at Mima. "So what will you do now, Mi-ma-chan?"

"Nothing I say can convince you to join me, right?"

The flower youkai gasped dramatically, clapping a hand to her chest in horror. "What!? Me, Yuuka Kazami, turn down the hand of her closest friend!? Never!" Then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone. "Well, I could help you… for a price, of course."

"What do you want?" Mima was examining her fingernails. "Gold? Treasure? Fertilizer? Cannon fodder? Marisa here could supply all of that."

"Hey!"

Yuuka giggled. "That's not what I'm talking about."

Mima's grin faded as she saw the intent behind Yuuka's eyes. _"No."_

"Well, why not?"

"Why, you – I plan on saving Marisa's first time for someone _she_ wants, thank you very much!"

Marisa gagged. "Wait, are you saying Yuuka wants…?"

The flower youkai eyed her seductively.

The witch began to back away once again, Mini-Hakkero in hand. "Uh, Y-Yuuka-san, we can d-discuss terms o-of p-p-payment later, r-right? Right?" She turned, looking to her mentor for help. "Mima-sama, mind lending me a hand here?"

"You mean you _won't_ allow me this tiny little favour?" Yuuka almost pouted – almost. "I'm sorry, are you looking to _fight_?"

Mima sighed. "You've been itching for one ever since we walked in. Yes, I know, Yuuka-san."

"No point in hiding it, then." She raised her hand and flicked it upwards. All around them, the previously still plants came to life, seemingly decorative vines suddenly writhing with a life of their own. Flowers bloomed, vines extended, and roots began to expand across the ground as Yuuka opened her parasol, tilting it over her back easily. "Well?" Her face split into her trademark killer smile once more.

_"I'm waiting."_

**– TOUHOU –**

**When suddenly, Karin. She'd give Kogasa a run for her money. Also, Darius seems to be acting oddly...**

_**Remember, remember, the Fifth of November...**_


End file.
